My girl of 14½ years left me today

Sorry Imgur, I really mean I'm sorry bc there's so many of these posts, but I literally have noone else in my life to talk to. I'm in such incredible pain it's beyond me.
My girl left me today and for a good reason.

Throughout our relationship I've been the best man I could be for her, supportive through college, raised her kids as if they were my own and gave them equal amounts of love, never hit her, never disrespected her during fights, and vice versa. She's the best thing thats ever happened to me. The reason I bring up the good side of me is bc the negative side of me that pushed her away was not even on purpose.

I've been through a pretty traumatic childhood and it's manifested itself into a pretty fucked up depression that I've been battling for a long time. It wasn't as bad when we first got together, but due to fucked up recent life events, it drove me deeper. She tried to help by pushing me to find counseling but I put it off for life responsibilities (excuses). It wound up seeping into our relationship and when we'd argue it'd manifest itself. Again, I never directly hurt her, but indirectly did by not seeking help.

To be fair to myself a bit, she had her issues as well. The thing is, I was her 1st real and long relationship and I coached her through her issues, helping her find help, to become a better person, a better mom, etc. I just never gave myself that same effort/attention.

She did mention that she's leaving me to improve her mental health situation bc we keep falling in the same cycles and she's put my name down for mental health help. She said "maybe" sometime in the future we can reconnect but she just wants to improve her state first.

I get it, and I really feel for her, feel guilty, and want whats best for her. It just hurts so fuckin bad right now and I've never had anyone in my life besides my mother (who died a few years ago) and her to hold me through rough patches. I just want a hug so fuckin bad right now. Although this maybe selfish, what kills me deeply is that when I opened my heart to fall in love with her, I promised her I'd be with her through thick and thin. Support and hold each other up. For all the times I did that for her, it cuts so deep that she's leaving now.

Sorry again you guys, I just needed to vent somehow. A buddy of mine recommended to confide in a close female friend to gain some perspective. Idk tho, this is day 1 and I'm falling apart and just want a bit of empathy and comfort.

If you have a loved one in your life, give them a hug.

If this spirals off deep into the void, I'll watch it go flying by.

*EDIT*
Well I took the advice everyone and my inner circle gave me... I have an appointment coming up for counseling. On top of that I've gotten a couple service numbers to call for comfort when times get a dark. I'm still crumbling apart bc EVERYTHING in my home has her tied into it someway. This weekend is planned on packing up/cleaning. Ty you guys for your verbal support.