WeirdAlisMySpiritUserName
134821
3757
30
Jun 26, 2020 4:02 PM
WeirdAlisMySpiritUserName
134821
3757
30
DasDovian
For those of you who have never seen one up close. They are huge and fast, by the time you see one they're basically next to you.
ThatOneFriendWhoTriesTooHard
CytochromP450
"Please, keep the poop inside your body" i repeat "inside your body"
Lekkanaai
finetoroastasimamarshmallow
thepiesthepies
Stunningly calm - I would have been “get the f#$*k out of the water!!!”
CanadianMarsupial
Jellyfish strings were enough to keep me out of the water in vacation. I'd never swim if theres a remote possibility of sharks. Pool is fine
GuinnessSteve
You know, if you stop testing for sharks you won't find any sharks
ErrorOnLoad
ATerribleArtist
If this were 2020 people wouldn't even listen to the warning. Sharks kill less people than the flu each year. You're oppressing me
nsaspyingonuranus
What's next - we have to wear a mask! FREEDOM!
nsaspyingonuranus
/sarcasm
NdotGreeze
I've been in the ocean a bunch of times and have never been bitten. Sharks dont bite people. Its just the liberal media. WAKE UP PEOPLE /s
knuckledeepinachicken
Sharks actually really don't prefer to bite people, though the ones that are the most bitey are great whites and bull sharks.
therockknight1
click0230
MyleKeville
cyno01
I have a LEGO Left Shark minifig on my fridge. https://i.redd.it/seppgg7z97f41.jpg
ClemFandangoAskingCanYouHearMe
Mother loving left shark!
exactlymockingbird
Icon of individual expression . Left shark lives !!!
Wookiwook
Sharks swim in human infested waters
littlecheesetoes
Good thing they don’t smell shit like they do blood.
stimpsonjcatt
Just to clarify, the state parks are asking you to exit the water calmly. The 15 great white sharks would like for you to flail a bit so 1/
stimpsonjcatt
they may more easily lock in on your location. Thank you.
UCFleet
I’m not wearing a mask and I’m sure as hell not getting out of the water! Don’t tread on me! I know my rights!
NickRivieraMD
You have the right to be eaten. IF you do not have an eater, one will be appointed by the court.
Steven054
More like "fuck 12, I'm staying here so I can loot and burn down the reef"
Luthierfer
*mah
4vie
The right to get eaten with a side of plastics.
VitaminJay
Show them your license revoking license from the American Bureau of Shark Bureau.
yourbassist
Didn't realize they were filming Super Troopers 3. Excuse me, shark...shark fucker.
sakurayu91
Let the sharks have the ocean people. We have pools.
JustinSane6
Ucanthankmel8r
Love the head spin lol
WoopDeFrickenDoo
My thirst.. as though the heat of a thousand suns bears down but at least it's a dry heat
jbravo775
Shark Party!!
xRHIN0x
I would, and make her leave the mask on...
WoopDeFrickenDoo
that's like a bucket list thing
MrPhukett
He said the mask, not a bucket.
NerdyCanadianHdd
That's a shark I could get behind
smudle
Heh heh "current events"
thehobbitishguy
I scrolled down down down to find this comment I knew would be here
konelhft
Will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?
meagainstthem
i came looking for you.
buddbilly
Daddy shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Crillol
Kinky
NinetiesBoomer
Stop it, get some help.
Imustupvotealltacos
I got a good laugh making my whole class groan in dispair just by getting it stuck in people's heads by singing half a line
flamingpalmtrees
Hungry shark do do do
arkangelbb
Can we get a version of this but instead of the announcement they just play baby shark over the loudspeaker?
TheWonderfulWorldOfDickButt
15 great whites?
?noredirect
HK47Statement
They may have driven a school of fish into shallow water. But that is really weird if thats not the case. Maybe a bleeding whale passed by?
YourLocalSatanist
I forgot how cool that shot is
repoocelad
Dolly zoom
guardian19d
"In a calm manner."
IUpvoteLOTRMemes
I'm a pretty manly dude, and I love this movie lol
IDontWatchDoctorWho
Well he couldn’t say “run bitch!! Ruuuuuuuun!!”
marquettegoldeneagles
jwenm4n2
So if its a shark they'll do what they're told?
ChocoladeMelkSnor
For a while yes
hesbeginningtobelieve
I won’t get out of the water! That’s fascism!
Fleggy
What if... Hear me out... We got the sharks to tell people to wear face masks?
Taishosama
What if baby shark did?
deafmute
Probably because you can see sharks, some people think that a viruses don't exist because they can't see them.
Steven054
I'm sure there were a few "fuck the police, I'm staying here, pigs trying to tell me how to live my life nu uh"
Jokerthehulk
Shark virus coming 2021.
MrMagicPantz107
Another Sharknado movie.
Formalis
Pft. Sharks aren’t real, it’s a Chinese conspiracy
merelyadequategooglymoogly
"...advising that you exit..." It was just a recommendation; it had no teeth.
FemalienOne
Hoping the other teeth will inspire cooperation?
DYLANLEE79
Fake news, cows kill more people, we have a constitutional right to swim, those a Bill Gates laser sharks!
itrynottocommentbutyoumakemecringe
Sad part is until this year this wouldn’t have been funny, and almost believable as something someone would say.
PoorSucker
Didn't you see the BBC NEWS logo, it's the British again.
cortnimarie1235
My constitutional rights!!!!!!!!!
parrotPositivityDog
^ American spirit summarised in one post. Well done.
CanadianEngineer
People also spend less time in close proximity to sharks than cows
Calgus
Those sharks were put there by Antifa, stand your ground and swim free, those commie sharks can't stop you!
RenaissanceFaireMan
TheUnstoppableWampas
Is it weird that I'm only 70% sure you're joking? God damn we live in strange times.
BoogalooBadger
Next day five old dudes are toting guns on paddle boards in the water.
MiasmaCorrigan
I heard the guy who made JAWS tried really hard to undo the fear his movies made before he passed. Poor fella
bigfatmadcowmoo
bigboneded
I'M MAKING A CITIZENS ARREST!
darksniperknight
Crimes against humanity!
teakasaurus
SHaRks kiLl LeSs pEopLe tHan ThE fLu
NPaine
You can easily see the 5G antenna sticking out of the sharks fin
jjay20
I said sharks with LASER BEAMS ON THEIR HEADS!
rgzdev
Huawei still hard at work.
HamburgerWelper
One might say those sharks are part of the deep state.
ImGur8
I read this in Little Nicky's voice. * laughs in Little Nicky*
chillpigeon
Deep blue state
SgtFriskers
For a second I thought they were trying to talk to the shark. "Attention sir, are you aware you're in a humans only swimming area?"
Baeloro
Yeah, someone needs to warn them.
imsuchaweirdo
I would actually think thats better than talking to people. People dont fucking listen to common sense
ClarkLWilliamson
Same, why are the threatening that shark?
guardian19d
Still, "State Parks is asking us to make an announcement" seems like an unnecessary addition to the message.
Jokerthehulk
But my freedoms
Andalite
Who is he talking to? I didn’t see a person in the water
SgtFriskers
They all left. In a...calm manner.
Andalite
Oh, you
CausticCake
For a second I thought the guy said the sharks were advising the swimmers to get out of the water
SgtFriskers
"Attention: If you stay in the water I will eat you. That is all."
Cthulhuchooseyou
Reminds me when people say shark-infested water. No, they live there. We're infesting their area.
verganas
SgtFriskers
It's funny because my husband was walking around going "SIR are you aware you're a shark!?"
BrugerNavnHer
That made me laugh out loud. First time today. +1
SgtFriskers
:)
idontwanttosignin
Hahaha that reminds me I'm not getting drug tested its time to spark up!
SgtFriskers
The bad news for me is I was not stoned. I'm just that dumb.
idontwanttosignin
:(
DriverIRQnotlessOrEqual
I’d like to speak to your manager!
8hourgamer
About on par with the bear fucker in super troopers.
icouldbeahotmess
I thought the same thing.
Bimblefack
Obviously he was, but the shark didn't understand English cause they speak... Finnish...
drakkaris12718
Finnish? You sure? I mean, that accent can be confusing.
Aksuuuh
Perkele.
Magsnificent
Get out and take this upvote with you!
PurveyorOfInsanity
Well done, Comrade.
Pulsifer
Galadnodel
Nice.
Renafoxtrot
Boooo! Take the damn upvote
SmilinSloth
That sounds a bit fishy
SirRichardOfHead
Aika hyvä. Sallin.
somethingawesomeandgreat
Torille
themightymarmot
Torilla tavataan
SgtFriskers
Hey, fuck you, man. I just snorted water out of my nose
SephiRothIRA
Excuse me have you eaten any people today? Been eating people? Sounds like you’ve been eating people. Out of the water, now.
Hanska01
“Exit the water in a calm manner; you are next to 15 great whites” yes I feel quite calm now
AstralDebris
morelikeconsham
I think it's more important that you don't thrash around than it is for you to be mentally calm.
Ronin42
On one side I love sharks and want to swim with them but also I know if they that close to shore they are in hunting mode.
TheBestRussian
You can hear a slight laugh in his voice as he said “calm manner”.
aintnothinbutahounddog28
Definitely
SuperDuperSkateTeam
Objective is to get them out as fast as possible. They better believe theyre in danger.
YouLikeItHuhFoo
Not at all. If you panic and splash you make yourself to appear as an injured anima and then you might be in danger. Sharks are always there
SuperDuperSkateTeam
Sounds like you made that up.
RedStarVidal
Sharks are always there? Wow, who knew we had such a profound bond, sharks have been here for me this whole time. They the real MVP.
HillCountryRambler
Went fishing with the daughter today. About 10 minutes in, we hear a loudspeaker telling us to, "Please calmly leave the dock. There is a 1/
HillCountryRambler
Very large alligator adjacent to your position. Please, leave the dock quickly & calmly. We will collect your gear & bring it to you."2/
HillCountryRambler
So I pick up the kiddo & we head off the dock, & sure as shit there was a big ass gator that was just off to the side of the dock. We 3/
HillCountryRambler
Walked right past it to get to our fishing spot. About a 10 footer or so. 4/4
DrSirSexyLegs
Never heard of a decagator?
sumowoman
I thought they only have 4 feet. Must have been huge!
notallwholurkarelost
flover
Did the football carry on the daughter, right?
Flowerlady0
10 feet isn't too bad but it is breeding season. As long as you're holding kiddo you will both be fine
Shineupordown
insane ! I wonder how ppl in US even fish near gator spots ,let alone bring kids