I’m a grown 31 year old man.

Since a kidney illness I had when I was ~4/5 years old that involved ALOT of needles, I’ve suffered from a crippling phobia of them my entire life. My family didn’t help by making jokes about it whilst growing up, like “if you’re naughty/not careful etc you’ll have to go have injections!” And prodding me and yelling “jab”. One time I was taken to the doctor’s office for a “routine check-up”, but it was a lie to give me a blood test; this obviously made me very distrustful of any doctors office or hospital visits too. It’s actually ruined me, mentally and emotionally.

I’ve stayed healthy and avoided ever getting into situations that involved anything. Skipped a trip abroad a few years ago because some vaccine shots were mandatory, and got kicked off a client’s project at work because I turned down a mandatory drug screening test/blood test.

And then, this bloody pandemic business started. Then they developed a vaccine; great I thought, if enough people get it, it will go away. I was wrong. Comically so, as EVERYONE needs not just one but TWO vaccines. God is real and he’s a cruel fucker.

I put it off as long as I could, but my family, loving bastards as they are, pressured me into going to talk to my doctor about it. Next thing I knew, I’m trialing some diazepam to see if it calms me down. When that worked, we booked my jab.

I’ve spent the day having panic attacks and popping diazepam pills, and when it finally came to the jab, I just barely got through it... I blacked out just after for a while, and broke down crying afterwards, but it’s done.

Just a reminder of the title, I’m a 31 year old man, and cried like a baby. Im not proud of that, but who cares, I got the vaccine, and am now one step closer to normality for me, and safety for my family.

And now to dread the next jab in 5-8 weeks...

—FP EDIT—
Thank you all for the kind replies and messages, I only wrote this post as I wanted to vent quietly into the void of user sub, but if this helps anyone else who struggles with injections like me, that’s great too.
Talk to your doctor before making an your appointment, explain your situation/fears/worries, and they will definitely try to help you.

And definitely take someone with you when you go for emotional support.

My arm is aching like hell today, but I’m loving having 5G signal everywhere I go.