EyesOnICE
169879
2610
141
Oct 4, 2017 4:00 AM
EyesOnICE
169879
2610
141
PsycheClone
Place it in front of your bedroom window and just stare at the neighbors.
Kewlair
Give it a few months and some feminist group will claim it's objectifying women and needs to be outlawed
IToldYouSo1
JeffGodofBiscuits
Iaintnosparticus
It's all dandy until an angry feminist puts a razor blade in there.
QuickGoogleSearch
danlei
"I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I'm not in the mood."
Backieotamy
Put your finger in it
rocketturttle
microscope in the back because science!
dangermint
just needs some flasks and test tubes with colored water
KNIVESY
Where the fuck do you even store that? Like, you could put a vibrator in a little baggy. You have to throw a coat you never wear on top
EyesOnICE
Hide it where is the fun in that do it in public for the world to see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdPbD6FomTk
PaulyParker
[deleted]
[deleted]
Alighierian
Rammstein.
AutomaticBedazzler
Finally! Soon we won’t even need women around anymore. Then they’ll be free to be CEOs and shit!
FilthyRaider
Created in two weeks with twenty five years of testing..........
OneUpperSteve
NuclearMonk
"I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.", HAL says reassuringly
RealityIsOftenDisappointing
SuperDramaticFusion
“I’m afraid, Dave.”
thtguyjosh
Let my penis go, Hal! “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that”
sarabearr
ignimbrite
IT'S AFRAID
Individualsocksinthewashingmachine
nyquihol
https://m.imgur.com/a/qWfpN
EyesOnICE
/a/1AYmr
darksidedadd
TheYankeeFist
Will version 2.0 have a robot hand to work the balls?
nice2pleaseyou
That is the task of the guy who will use this mashine after you ;)
Grandpafuzzy
Now this is an advancement I can really get behind!
abelincon56
motokeith
This will be in that back corner of the pharmacy between the blood pressure machine and the Dr. Scholl's custom fit machine
MoPowahBaybeh
Ha!
Davidnfilms
My gf, "I thought it was a doorbell."
DarkAndMysteriousInternetGuy
Could be. "Must be this long to summon us" then put the button at the deepest point inside it.
Craftworks
The sound of the doorbell "Dangling Dong...Dangling Dong"
poet4nothing
Congrats on the hot girlfriend
stillafckingfreak
Am i the only one who first thought of these guys?
?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
CatzEyes93
tis what I thought. but I am a girl, so that could be expected
almostlucy
Thanks for the flashback to 2008 when a turret saying "Is anybody there?" was my BIL's notification noise for texts. Drove my sister crazy.
Craftworks
https://imgur.com/l0Cr4hj
DrRichardKimble
Fucking Technology
Marikhen
Hey, is that that Linda person that people are complaining about?
TheWulfrunian
Literally.
samsonguy920
Don't know which bothers me more...his lack of nose, or that hairstyle which was worn by the same weasel asshole in Above the Law and >
samsonguy920
> Code of Silence. (I refer to the characters, not the actor, Ronnie Barron, who played them)
NitroNick8
BDUM-TSHH!
EyesOnICE
Technology fucking* fixed /a/a3oJf
Slots
I think this one might actually be China.
IWasGoingToMakeEspresso
Chyna
LyraTheLycan
*Jyna
lazysombrero
*Gina
EyesOnICE
Say it with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES7SrnqugzY
CarInAVet
Judging by the writing on the wall, yes.
moinonplus
Yeah, why do Japanese always use those Comic Sans versions of the kanji they use? They look goofy af
digitiliad
When you set your bait, don't use words like "kanji" that suggest you already know the answer to your question.
moinonplus
My question was also goofy af and suggests quite rightly that I don't know shit
CoinsareBinaryDice
How can you tell the nationality of a vagina?
OfficialSponsor
Usually if there's a lot of MSG in it it's farther to the East
CapnCumbut
What the ever living fuck? I'm not putting my dick anywhere near that thing. 1 software bug and it's like vice grips and a paint shaker.
NitroNick8
Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
EyesOnICE
https://imgur.com/AZvb6IS
JHawke
Not all types of motors have the ability to go into overdrive. Build it right and the worst thing that can happen is.. nothing.
creaothceann
Nice try, Kayaba...
EyesOnICE
Thats why you add a forced air intake
onefaller
and i thought it was kinda hot before...
PurpleKittenofDeath
rockthekazbah
Pinguuuuu- will never look at him the same now
udidntasktho
May this invention be known as the "Nooting Pole" from now on !
Rotholia
Tredecim
Childhood Status - Ruined
HenryDorsettCase
https://media.giphy.com/media/12XMGIWtrHBl5e/giphy.gif
toasteheh
Oh god. Right in the childhood.
patattack
what that mouth do
quintusfontane
FoxShepherd
New favourite picture.
ShirouBlue
northwestroots
Can't unsee that
DickDynasty
LookingForWorkInColorado
tuckaFrump
EyesOnICE
/a/EZvrC
noWhiteHorseHereJustBatturuPrinsu
powerrangerpl
EyesOnICE
Come with me and you'll see a world of pure ejaculation
ColourBlindMillwright
Noot Noot!
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
NootNoot!!!
NootNootEh
You called?
FlipTheBirdBeforeTheBirdFlipsYou
Nut nut!
MetroidPrimeHesTheBest
Welp, we found it. The gif that most deserves "put your dick in it".
kenobijuan
I have no desire to put my dick in that. Y'all see that sex bot lookin slutty Eva. Weird. Ima go slam my junk in a draw like God intended.
LaffertyDanie1
PsygothicMiss
What about a box?
sparkysharky
Ha
LookingForWorkInColorado
McMasterx
Put.. Put your Mitochondria in it.
GregoriusDaneli
And after we've spent ALL this time searching... you think we're gonna give it the satisfaction? Think we're gonna put out, just like that?
RexNihil
But that's not a blender...
SmartHasTheBrainsButStupidHasTheBalls
Atomsk
It's clearly a salad fork calibrator. What are you talking about?
UnremarkablyInteresting
You sir, are mistaken. Its this one.
v
proracing53
ShaunHughes28
NOTHIN AT ALL, NOTHIN AT ALL, NOTHIN AT ALL...
PoopholeAintALoophole
Stupid sexy Flanders...
techfreak243
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all nothing at all nothing at all nothing at all nothing at all nothing at all nothing at all
Siptro
well that is it's intended purpose.
EyesOnICE
Wait I thought it was a fondue pot boy do I look stupid
Siptro
never know, it could have been made for milking horses. That a job that seriously needs a machine to do it...those poor farmers...
Fyba
I'm sure there's at least one breeder who's into it.
BigBossTheMSFCommander
@ElbowDeepInAHorse
ElbowDeepInAHorse
APocketfulOfPenguins
@ElbowDeepInAHorse
TheCaydeUnit
@ElbowDeepInAHorse
allegedlynerdy
@ElbowDeepinaHorse
CloakerJosh
Genuine question: what sort of sanitation process does it undergo? Don't much fancy sharing around a FleshLight with other dudes
GhostBear3067
I would hope the pink, soft bits are disposable.
koitk
start with pressurewasher and then burn the whole thing...
youngmountaingoat
More importantly how long til it's full, and who gets to empty it? Yuk.
loganthomsen
Have you ever wondered where bleu cheese comes from? Or cottage cheese? And dont even start to look up what cream cheese is...
sitarhero
If I recall correctly, this thing is for sperm donation. So probably meticulous. But that's just a guess.
armyscout4
It bleeds one week every month. Best to have a back up one for when this happens.
GeorgePotompkin
It doesn't matter, the machines ending syncing maintenance cycles.
bigbrother
wear a condom for easy cleaning. I suspect it's an insert so it can be removed to clean with hot (100F) soapy water.
Rowee
I think it's made for sperm banks tho, there was a post a while back about it. A condom would kinda defeat the purpose if so.
bigbrother
I'd hope it WASN'T made for that. There's no cover on the front and too many crevices.
TheWetLustyArgonianMaidRIP
Here's the sanitation process: https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
kentnl
I'm that person who suspects, and clicks anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WY0BnB2PLg
theMaplekindyea
Watched the whole thing and loved it! Take my +1 now!
Mavgurian
Hah! For once copyright shit protected me "in my country"!
TheWetLustyArgonianMaidRIP
You damn Germans.
indyliberal
Dang. You got me. Point for you.
CloakerJosh
Oh for fuck sake! That's twice I've been had today, you wankstain. Take your +1 and get the fuck out.
TheWetLustyArgonianMaidRIP
2017 is a beautiful thing. People never expect it.
ViciousOtter
You lube it with hydroalcoholic gel.
eastbayrae
I read that as hydraulic fluid
Froglip
YouLube
JHawke
Ouch.
ISupportYourViews
Stays as clean as you keep it. It's not like this is a public machine on a street corner.
Jagippi
Yet....
WitcherSchoolDropout
Maybe they should be
pixelbat
Yet.
CuttleFishOfCthulu
You never know. It IS Japan..
CloakerJosh
(it's actually China, @OP got it wrong. But, yeah)
CloakerJosh
It's not on a street corner, it's in a sperm bank. So, yes - it is public.
Ailin87
But it's a sperm bank so they probably vigorously clean them between each milking.
rabbiebabbie
I have a penis, can you milk me?
thatsALOTofnuts75
I looked it up. Its meant for sperm banks but banks don’t want them as its expected a condom is used, which degrades sperm quality
Koffeinmannen
Hihi, milking. Moooooooo.
TryThisOnForSize
What a shitty job.
ISupportYourViews
Google "public fleshlight"
bloodlustunicorn
There really shouldn't be any shit involved in this.
TeenageMutantNinjaAbortedFetuses
What a sticky* job.
toypaj
You’re milking the wrong end then
Ketheres
https://i1.wp.com/media.boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/21264466361_96d1f65ae6_b.jpg?w=970
CloakerJosh
NoooOoOoOoOoOoooOO!
TheScarredOne
Why you touching that?
Ketheres
To use it, of course.
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
imagine the smell.
Ketheres
Wasn't that bad. Taste was a bit moldy though.
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
That is truly fucking horrific. I think my soul just threw up. +1
EyesOnICE
Its only gay if the balls touch
TomZarekVP
*your chin.
LurkyLurkerLurkin
@OP would know...
CloakerJosh
I couldn't give a shit about the sexualality implications. Just don't relish the thought of spooging into the same glove as countless others
FlamingGalah
The attendants are told to let each user that they are the first one to use it.
nice2pleaseyou
As a gay guy: Spooging into the same glove as countless others is exactly what I like
JohnQPubic
well just buy your own fuckbot then Mr. Rockefeller
CloakerJosh
Would if I could
Amarantamin
Lemme guess, she has to be a virgin AND a ballerina?
DarkAndMysteriousInternetGuy
No just a virgin and experienced in bed.
Enoan
I am a virgin and spend like 10 hours in bed every day.