gogoforgomez2017
113553
4174
33
Jan 20, 2019 12:03 AM
gogoforgomez2017
113553
4174
33
Jadora
Make sure you have a dog that needs to be let out/walked
assymcgee7
I always get the shake down “well, why ya leaving so early”? “You know we haven’t seen much of you lately” lol
Imadethisaccounttopost
Second rule, avoid them at all cost. You know who I mean...
cpnbeeb
Rule #1, especially with family, is to never set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
BadDragon1183
My mom keeps offering to give me a ride to family functions to keep me from leaving when I want. I always refuse.
TheButte
My wife doesn't understand why I don't like riding with the in laws to dinner. That and her mom is a terrible driver. Anxiety inducing
Loghanisthebest
First rule: you do not talk about family gatherings.
Attroc
Old tactic, but it checks out.
glear
What if I don’t have my own vehicle?
longtimelurkerbutdecidedtomakeanaccountcauseReasons
Uber?
addicted2pjs
Third rule: Bring food in a disposable container. No need to gather the equipment before running.
mmtotb
1st rule: Don’t go. All other rules negated if you follow rule 1
darrellt196
That's a good policy in most situations
Youcantsaychickswithdicksanymore
Real rule #1 is marry someone who wants to take a car to gatherings alone with you so you can bail when ur good and goddamn ready.
AccedentalQCGuy
Never host a family gathering. You can’t leave.
ImmaHacker
Not with that attitude!
DougieFresh01
Rule 3: always arrive late and park behind a bunch of cars, when they have to leave then you have an escape too
vicycat
This is a goood one! I’ll remember this one!
tibris
rule zero: don't be the host, so you can leave when you want to
owowowcrampcrampcramp
Same goes for first dates.
gogoforgomez2017
These are some good rules
TinksMeow
I think this applies to anyone social event
B99Reactions
Dont go to shitty gatherings
Slenderhands
Rule four: Do not show up expecting to get a date.
monkeygonnamonk
Rule x: if it’s out of town and you can get away with it, stay in a hotel
velveteenbones
If you just uber home then you can start drinking while you’re there and still go home whenever you want.
scaryfeetscaryfeetscaryfeet
And being drunk is the only way to get through it...”yes Aunt Betty, still single...”
rondoe33
Yup
AlphaQueueBeta
Me arriving at a family gathering:
v
CyberHero93
Zero Rule: Don't even fucking go... That's before first rule amiright?
heiderger
Guys, Serious question!! What’s going on!? We all feel this, I think!? Is this new or an age old issue!?
vicycat
oopsydsy
I enjoy my parents company. They are the funniest old people I know. Never felt this way.
MrStealYourGiF
Also, arrive last so you're not blocked into the driveway 3 cars deep...
RenoirtheMagicalAbsintheFox
Plus, less time til it's over...
Urgalicity
Just park a block away and walk in...
AegonTargaryenTheSixthOfHisName
My grandma has an “h” shaped driveway and lives on a deadend street. We always park according to who wants to stay the longest. If we’re >
AegonTargaryenTheSixthOfHisName
unsure, we park in the street. It works perfectly.
SwilcO
Just don't park in the driveway. Rookie mistake.
BESTtaylorINAUSTRALIA
Pretty rude to park in the driveway in the 1st place
TallDude
Eh. Parking can be limited, if they have a spare spot I see no issue.
superchickin
Pro tip: Don't go.
turtlefreak23
Always park on the street no matter what. Until everyone catches on and they are all on the street like my last family gathering
donkeymoney
I always on the exit side of the street, with room to spare, pointed away from the house, ready to go!
EverydayIsLegDayBecauseImRunningFromMyProblems
Are there shootouts at your fam gatherings?
donkeymoney
Lol, nah, just like to be able to leave whenever I decide to leave.
turtlefreak23
No, in my case just assholes
EmperorNortonII
Third rule: put at least two states between you and your family.
graehall
It's a fun riddle, what can you be close to but it will always remain distant? Your parents.
TheLinkMaster
How about several sates, an ocean, and several more countries. Family is in Poland I'm in Chicago
ChelsTehHazelnut
I think I win for distance as far as the states go. Alaska family, I now live in Florida.
RelativeVelocity
Until they start dying and you realize you took them for granted and live with regret forever.
Marikhen
Not necessarily. Some of us have some messed up wiring in our heads so that our regret/grief is measured in minutes/hours, not weeks/years.
TinHornGeKo
Not too far, because then when they visit, they’ll stay forever. Best to have a long drive, but not enough to warrant an overnight stay.
cpnbeeb
Or move somewhere remote where they'll have to *want* to make the trip, instead of feel it convenient.
jabew
Agreed. 2 hours away keeps my in-laws visit to about a 2 hour stay.
malevolentmoose
My parents are 3~ hours away, which requires advance notice and gives me plenty of time to hide things and clean.
5exyPanda
Or a country.
pixarpizza
Why not the ocean?
HrafnAdventure
Why not the planet?
cpnbeeb
Why not six feet of dirt?
Imustupvotealltacos
Wouldn't stop them from expecting us, still
Akurei00
*and last minute with no prior notification. "What do you mean you're not showing up to your aunt's 35th wedding anniversary in 2 hours!?"
Imustupvotealltacos
Well I can't make it to the fucking Netherlands in than 6 hours, Martha!
Akurei00
I can't believe you didn't plan ahead for this. Maybe I forgot to tell you but you knew it was coming up, anyway!
Imustupvotealltacos
I saw ONE post months ago. I'm SORRY that improving my life by minimizing my social media usage has had a negative impact on your life