RorytheRedKing
62508
1671
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In short, her mental health has always taken priority over mine, regardless of situation. It has made me depressed to the point of needing medication and suicidal thoughts so I had to call the Suicide Prevention hotline. We have a meeting with a mediator on Saturday, but I’ve realized that I’ve been emotionally abused for years now.
I would love a clean break, but we have a very young daughter, and I need to be a part of her life. I’m afraid that she’ll try to stop me from seeing her, and I’m so scared and overwhelmed.
Thanks for reading. Wish me luck.
Most viral edit: thank you all for the kind words. It’s been a difficult road, but I know what I have to do. Special thanks to @SchroedingersGoldfish for checking in on my regularly and offering me advice since I called the hotline. You’re the best kind of internet stranger.
VanMan2
You did the right thing.
propagateGoodness
Your daughter needs you healthy. Good luck with everything and stay well, friend.
NiNinchBloodNinja
Good luck bro
politelyinsane007
I went through this 7 years ago. It may be different, but it sounds spot on. She couldn't handle the kids. I see them whenever I want.
politelyinsane007
But I'm a better man and dad without their mom sucking the life out of me.
RageMojo
I can tell you from personal experience that Father's rights have improved greatly in most places in the last 20 years. You can do this.
queenofsomething
I’ve been there... Your doing the right thing. Also I “the body keeps score” is a great book and might help with some of the healing.
netutoring
Like others have said....fight for your daughter. I hope you can make it.
TheEvenPrez
ImpactFPS
Supporting others with mental health issues is important. But it should never come at the cost of your own.
TomClancysGoatRodeo
Do Not Go Baaaaaaaack. Please do not.
LilMsSunshine0120
You did the right thing by calling that hotline. I wish you nothing but happiness from here forward. Much love
thealterofmyego
There's nothing stating that you can't be the primary custodian of your daughter. You don't need to stay together for the kids.
CardioVascular
I had a friend who was a sole custody dad. It went well and family and friends helped him as needed. It was a good thing.
thechocmaster
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let someone go because you need them out of your life, have been there more than once, 911 can confirm
ToiletFone
Holy shit dude I was in a very similar situation but I have the kid. Stay strong and be a good dad when you're with your daughter
dudeWithAPhone
You left for a reason. Don't forget that.
macandcheese21
I hope everything turns out ok. As someone whose partner has gone through emotional abuse, I hope you have work on healing
WeAreJustDustInTheWind
Stories like these is why i never had kids, a few of my relationships ended over me never wanting kids, cause then I would feel Stuck
RorytheRedKing
Was told that she couldn’t have kids, so she was an extra surprise baby. The only thing I would change is the timing of her
WeAreJustDustInTheWind
oh I was not shitting on you just why I did what I did to my life, stay healthy
BellsTheorem
Your mental health sounds like a much better partner. I hope it works out with your daughter.
Flukeloop
I am proud of you. That was a very courageous move.
IbecomeaSchnitzelplease
I left my entire so called family behind many years ago and I never felt better.
TheFastpaws
Document as much as possible and start building a case with a lawyer and do not tell her. Do it for you and your daughter.
cmchapa84
The rarely spoken truth about poor mental health is that it can be a destroyer of relationships. I hope you find solace.
biclighter
Hope it was worth the fucking.
iloveyourmom2
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
IdDoiT
good luck
VeryLongTimeLurker
Don't see your SO for a month or 2, ZERO contact with them at all. Clear your head and take care of yourself first of all
degreekelvin0
You can’t do that when you have a kid. She can tell the courts he abandoned the child for those months.
RorytheRedKing
Not an option currently, but after Saturday, who knows. Maybe she’ll need that too
Misterdruglicious
My mom left my dad after 30 years, best thing that ever happened to me, I feel like I can breathe and I wake up and its better
VeryLongTimeLurker
The kid will complicate things, but you two don't need to be together to give her a good life
NachoDamnDaddy
Good Luck OP.
RorytheRedKing
Cheers. I just want it to be over, but the only way out is through
dirtybarnacles
What does that mean? “I know what I need to do”, are you going back? Working thru or cutting ties?
ontarioOT
What's the expression? If you're going through hell, keep going.
ScrippyChan
Lawyer up and continue seeing a therapist. You need to be a part of your daughter's life; you ain't gotta have a goddamn thing to do with¹
ScrippyChan
your ex.²
thror
Document the abuse and find a Lawyer. You need to get out for you, and you need a lawyer for the other stuff.
JugsMugsLadybugs
There is no harm or shame in wanting to get better. If she interferes w/ that, get out. Do it for yourself n child. Scrnshots n be neutral.
KillerTofu69
I was in a similar situation 10 years ago. Better to show your daughter an example of happiness. Your life is important, too.
5Toner
Speaking truths..
B4DF15H2
This is accurate. Staying in toxicity demonstrates it's okay to your child. Start building your case now, and keep quiet.
B4DF15H2
Getting your kid away from toxicity demands you play the long game, build the case, and sucker punch when your lawyer is satisfied.
B4DF15H2
Do not make threats, or even elude to the idea of leaving. You'll lose.
RorytheRedKing
I’ve been screenshotting conversations, but this is going back awhile, and a lot of it, I’m only just now realizing was as bad as it is.
animatronicChristmasChickens
You need to get custody. Period.
Misterdruglicious
My mom just left my dad after 30 years of abuse, how you feel is not imaginary, and you should let yourself not feel that anymore
Misterdruglicious
if the other person makes you feel like that, leave
1plail
Just lived this. Screen shots and videos saved me from being in serious trouble. She lied and she was crazy. Cover your ass, brother.
B4DF15H2
You can subpoena text transcripts from your carrier.
RorytheRedKing
It’s all been in person.
5Toner
Get a lawyer.. stay neutral.. don't react to drama.. a woman lawyer if your ex is bitter and hostile. DO NOT ALIENATE YOUR CHILD FROM MOM
5Toner
Never make a child chose between parents.. they'll never understand why you can't just get along
B4DF15H2
All of this is accurate.
5Toner
Experience is a great teacher..
VeryLongTimeLurker
You only notice how bad things are once you take a step back. A lot of us have been in the same situation. But it's time to thunk about you.
RorytheRedKing
Exactly. As isolated incidents they don’t seem that bad, but if you look at the whole thing, it shows a pattern
badgerkingbass
Bingo! I was in the same boat up until late last year. I'm in a much better place mentally now that I'm away from the abuse.
VeryLongTimeLurker
Exactly!! Split with ex just over a year ago, when ever I am reminded of somewhere we went or we did, almost every time the signs are there
VeryLongTimeLurker
Your just blind it to, until it builds up more and more