5ywjdPumpkinPrincess
8263
602
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Mar 1, 2026 5:38 AM
5ywjdPumpkinPrincess
8263
602
8
egoAristippos
Also, I bet the beams are hollow to make the whole contraption lighter.
cousteau
OK but seriously, how is comparing yourself to the Lord Jesus Christ in this way not considered extremely sacrilegious?
JamieGeorge
Martyrdom, now with free shipping
Adrock0
And, at least in the photo, it's hidden from the crowd they are preaching too
JamieGeorge
Martyrdom, now with free shipping
InablueMule
2 kinds of jesus impersonators. With wheels. Without wheels.
IlluminaBlade
It's probably balsa, to boot.
toshach33
So, shouldn't he be naked and shoeless except for a loin cloth, and wearing a crown of thorns? For authenticity sake? What an asshole.
XXXSpork
Where are his wounds from being lashed? I see no exposed ribs? And his crown of thorns?
thedarkcanuck
The fact that they pray to a murder weapon is reason enough to stay the fuck away from these people
karlfrack
FelonyRaptor
A few years on, they're gonna have a poor persons in prison clothes dragging the crosses for them.
With no wheels.
ZzPluralZa
There's an app that carries the cross for you for a nominal fee
venompreacher
Pay to win
Fistouille
Sponsored by brave Christians Chriss Pratt and Mark Wahlberg
isthisjunkmail
Wouldn’t want to scratch your weird super church’s floors.
Winterous
Yeah I'd be worried about the floor, and the cross itself; I'd definitely have some sort of smooth protective coating at least.
djevelen
it wasnt even a church event really, it was that incredibly stupid "memorial" to a Nazi schmuck
Idontneedrealfacts
Or you know, that temporary floor in the Arizona Cardinals stadium unless the church hangs those banners too.
IAmASentientWaffle
Wouldn't surprise me tbh
ufoara
or disrupt the wires going to the band and pyrotechnics.
SilverDust133
Don’t fuck with the fiber optics bro! God forbid we get cable ramps.
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
That would be TERRIBLE
Photeus
How will people worship if you damage the equipment. The Jumbotron can't do it alone!
UnluckyLunkhead
I'm not superstitious myself, but isn't comparing yourself to Jesus some sort of blasphemy?
brazzy42
Is that's what is actually happening here, though? I would certainly not put it past the Evangelicals, but if it's just some kind of passion play (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passion_Play) then the point is merely to show and remind people of the story of Jesus' crucification, the people involved are simply actors. Or maybe the cross is simply being transported for some kind of ceremony? Hard to say without more context information.
Targe0
That depends on how you do it.
Like this? Very much so.
Actually living how Jesus did? Not so much.
crateo
Theologically speaking, no. Real penitents do this, with real crosses and certainly NO wheels.
DrDred
They don't really believe in it. It's all pageantry and performative for votes and money.
gallowglacht
In this way? No. Jesus' cross was carried by a bystander, Simon of Cyrene. Bearing a cross is safely in "bearing a burden" in faith and commemoration territory. Christians also recreate the Last Supper and fast for Lent, even extreme stuff like flagellation. Putting wheels on it, thereby removing the effort and burden part and turning the sacred event into an empty performative act. Historic Jesus would fucking hate that. MAGA Jesus on the other hand loves whatever these lunatics need him to.
Fanner50
So, Jesus did not bear the cross?
But the cross beared him?
IrateWolfe
He carried it as far as he could, and then someone else stepped in and carried it the rest of the way for him
brazzy42
No, Jesus carried the cross at first, and when his strength failed, the Roman soldiers made Simon carry it instead for some distance.
Lugh314159
Wouldn't it be funny as hell if someone replaced the styrofoam across with a real heavy wooden one made of like dense oak or something, and it just straight up crushed the dude.
crateo
He can try Spain.
Now, I know what it looks like. It is not that.
AsABiologistWhoIsNotFunAtParties
Lugh314159
A pair of 4x4 posts doesn't seem like it would have the crushing action that would maximum humor / schadenfreude... Though I suppose if it was dropped rather than gently lowered....
...and yes, they do look like gay Klansmen.
onushka
The cross is made of Styrofoam.
PalaverQuader
as is the current US administration.
Delathi
It's actually wood, but it's hollow, it's basically a box made out of 1/4 in plywood.
PanNonOpticon
And scaled down.
sme2812
St. Yrofoam, deliver us from evil
WoodORama
And also with you.
FortifiedWhine
And damaged packages in the mail.
heyletsbefriends
sounds like a Bloodborne boss
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
Squeaky be thy name
Targe0
Thy static clung, a shock will come.
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
On earth as it doesn't degrade