digigypsy
224219
3928
116
Apr 2, 2018 3:25 PM
digigypsy
224219
3928
116
TheHawkRules
Stuggz
Akubarix
Look at how happy the snake is. <3
Samsquantch82
Incest is just fine! Absolutely hilarious explanation: https://answersingenesis.org/bible-characters/cain/who-was-wife-of-cain/
shittingpisspissingshit
I can't believe people are still so devoted despite all scientific advancements. Faith is a scary thing.
JediDavid
JosXII
damn she was a milf
Attaroo
ISWDT :D
Imalwaysready
Mom is aging very well.
Feedingyouspiderswhileyousleep
IsThisAlreadyChosen
The dog looks very worried.
digigypsy
He would be like "Damn God, what the hell you did to humans"
cousteau
Theory: it was the dog who ate the apple and Adam&Eve just took the blame; that's why dogs are always so good to humans.
ElessarThorongil
This story is a metaphor folks. It’s not actually how the earth/humans came about. Pun intended.
gamer2k4
What makes you so sure? And why should that part of the Bible be metaphor when none of the rest of it is?
ElessarThorongil
Because from a logical, practical, academic approach it simply doesn’t make sense. At all. However as a story, it has layered wisdom.
MrDrMatt
Those m@therf#*$ers!
jwhitScifiKing
Nephilim, anyone?
ferdinand2
... And Cain and Abel got married....TO WHOM? WHERE DID THESE MYSTERY BITCHES COME FROM
shittingpisspissingshit
Eddie Griffin, You Tell Em' I Said It.
ferdinand2
I see you are a person of culture as well
BruteHoleForce
This was one of those “I want to ask but I know I won’t get an answer” moments in Sunday school.
Doumdidoum
Catholics explain the errors in the Bible by saying was written by humans. IE: Don't focus on the wives, focus on DO NOT KILL YOUR BROTHER.
BruteHoleForce
They’ve clearly provided a lot of FAQs and errata since I lapsed.
Doumdidoum
It's the official doctrine since Vatican II.
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
I like to think that "Adam"/"Eve" were tribes that produced "Cain"/"Abel" tribes. it makes more sense that way.
Santinosuke
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
TheGhostofLionelHutz
Not sure why you were downvoted. There's as much evidence for this interpretation as there is for any other in Leviticus.
Doumdidoum
Because Bible inerrancy. People from many protestant confessions hate any form of interpretation or explanation.
popejubal
They could always go get with Lilith...
ThatOneSceneInThatOneMovie
@Chocolateco0kie read through the top comment thread LMAO
Chocolateco0kie
That's why I still have imgur LMAO
DurendaI
I prefer that the serpent in Eden was a dragon over a serpent. That, and because Carl Sagan is neato.
slappyJo
"I Cain 'tho" "and I'm unAbel"
SeyaObey
Read Genesis 5:4, according to the Bible Adam had other sons and daughters (Seth been one of them)
snakeoilsalesman
Awan, Aclima, Seth and Azura... (Traditionally)
Attaroo
Still one big pile of incest. Then again when the Flood came. And Lot was into incest as well.
snakeoilsalesman
Well back then your choices were incest or beastiality so
trippintherift
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean it has to make sense -religion
MoustachePotato
Yeah. Like Jesus was a real person - just look at Roman documentation
Attaroo
Just because it's true doesn't mean it will be upvoted. But I did my part!
Seabastiantwelve
Oh oops I thought it was Adam and eves kids and they where gonna bangalang momma
ichoosethering
+1 for saying "gonna bangalang momma"
iamthisguy247
Isn't that what this is?
SGRogers
Yes, yes it is.
BoredScroller
TheOneAndOnlyXero
they are. Also: Cain murdered his brother Abel and was cursed by god as he is the first murderer. The joke here is that this is supposed 1/2
TheOneAndOnlyXero
to be the reason why he killed him 2/2
Attaroo
Who knew the Garden of Eden was in Alabama?
Altanese
Southern Baptists. Or maybe Mormons, for them it's somewhere in North America I think?
ShinySephiroth
Missouri
Altanese
I thought that was where one of Christ's two temples on Earth will be, the other being in Jerusalem?
AcidZebra
The Bible explains genetic bottlenecks and why we're a generally retarded species.
Attaroo
Citation?
EarlGreyOrDeath
Genetic studies seem to point to humans being down to about 1k individuals at one point.
Attaroo
And that's in the bible?
Attaroo
Because if you are talking about the flood, that's not the reason why - there's no evidence of a worldwide flood in the last 20K years
Attaroo
and there should be.
javert24601
She looks like Alyssa Edwards
Seabastiantwelve
I'd do it tho
MainJane
idontenglishsorry
The tits man, those tits won me over
Vhyson
Cain likely married a sister or niece. Adam lived to be 900+, and the bible does mention him later having many sons and daughters. As far
DurendaI
Or hear me out: it's all just a fable meant to teach us stuff about how to be better people, and not meant to be put under a microscope.
AmirGarib
Thats not what the people said in the middle ages and anyone who was refusing to believe got lynched.
AmirGarib
Our ancestorw took it literally so why are you not if you still believe in it. Go 100% or none.
SecretlyARedPanda
I don't know, but I like to consider Proverbs 31:6 literally, at very least.
TravDrinksBeer
I'm here for the strong drink
warriorofdiscord
Seems to be that way up to around the time of Moses.
Vhyson
As inbreeding, would be unavoidable, but assume Adam and eve had a perfect genetic code, then inbreeding would have had little negative
norill
why bother applying logic to a myth?
Noob3rts
Inbreeding has very little negative effects. It makes you slightly, keyword, more susceptible to specific diseases and limits DNA but daz it
Vhyson
Impact on the genetic code of their offspring. This however would have provided mutations to get any variance from Adam and eve' s genetics
Vhyson
And later down the line, incest was banned in the law of Moses, arguably to prevent compounding of genetic mutations like we would see today
TheRicM
Also the ground watered itself and there were no thorns or bristles before the curse, so it was also a totally dif. environment to live in
LordofSadFace
Riskful comment but...thats where Asians and Blacks come from according to the Bibble?
paul289
I'd guess from Noah's sons. Shem (where the word Semite comes from), Ham (went to Africa), and Japheth (went East) 1/
xtermixREC
the bible people werent white, they were likely asian-ish/black
kojenk
They were all black asian. Later Cain murdered abel and ash was put on him to mark him, giving him a lighter skin tone. DUN DUN DUN TWIST
mirrorz
Yep. That's a real story in the bible. The only man and only woman ever created have 2 sons. No other women on the planet...
isthisneeded
Motherfuckers
CreepyPhlox
The bible also says that there were already other ppl on earth but the lesson comes from Adam and Eve so that's the focus.
FiestaCamel
it would explain why most people are so fucked up
TheoryOfRelativeTea
I think the boys had twins sisters and they married them. Or their sisters were a separate set of twins. I hardly listened in Sunday school.
Mazhiwe
Yeah, after Abel's murder, Cain 'goes to the next village over' which always seemed kinda shady to me as a kid.
morethanamouthfull
That’s a dilemma no one has ever been able to appropriately explain for me. Maybe, because it’s not real.
AaronStivers31415
Adam lived to 930 years and had 56 kids with Eve. They were biologically "better" and we're the result of degeneration from incest.
morethanamouthfull
That’s not plausible
exlurker42
Somewhere in Gen 4/Gen 5 it says they had Cain, Abel, Seth and "other sons and daughters" of unknown quantity.
happytreeleaf
But it’s got what plants need
WumboPower
They had like dozens of children.
mirrorz
...all with the same exact same DNA chains as Eve supposedly came from Adam's rib. So it's inbreeding with clones.
Vhyson
I suppose that would induce some mutations
Jawesome19
Imagine how smart they were cause we're the product of like thousands and thousands of inbreeding taking place. Basically giant mutations
Snooj
They actually had a lot more kids. Which doesn't help when you consider genetics in general, but, y'know. Better than them fucking Eve.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Doesn't matter since all their kids bloodlines die out in the Noacean flood, except for Seth's
UnpopularOpinionPuffinPersonified
Not necessarily true since Noah's sons had wives who also survived the flood and weren't necessarily from Seth's line.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Yeah I forgot about the wives. Thanks
AreThoseMyPants
If you consider genetics in general, it's not like they had had time to develop genetic defects or mutations like, at all. Those came later.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
You can't pack all of today's human DNA into one set of chromosomes. Adam and Eve would have to be polyploid
InnovativePurgatory
Sounds like mom needs to start putting out.
cre8majic
My daughter, my granddaughter..
shawnemack
She did
HurricaneShade
Lilith did...
xrufus7x
Isn't she more of a jewish legend than biblically sourced.
HurricaneShade
Adams 1st wife if all the show 's I've seen are correct
xrufus7x
Yah, that is the lore but IIRC she is never mentioned in the bible and appears exclusively in jewish lore.
theyregooddogsbrant
Not every mom is like your mom
[deleted]
[deleted]
DonKeedik
iHaveATheoreticalDegreeinPhysics
SammichBro
.
filben7
No, there eventually were other people but its pretty damn murky where they came from.
LagoonLeopard
The Adam and eve story is meant to be read allegorically, not literally. It's about man rejecting a relationship with God.
LagoonLeopard
It's not meant to be read literally, i.e there was no Adam or Eve
Attaroo
They fucked monkeys. See, it WAS evolution!
UnexpectedThanos
*primates
filben7
Monkeys are primates.
Bioman998
But not all primates are monkeys.
ThronesWoven
kittykat25909
the other evolved primates I suppose.
Kube420
Checkmate atheists
romanaclef
Look up biblical apocrypha - all the stuff that was dropped from the Christian text. It's quite a read.
reverendleonard
.
MonsterinmyPocket
.
Elonth
doot dah doot.
GeorgeHWBushsGhost
.
alvastar
"Dropped" from the bible isn't quite accurate... I would say was never in the bible but was written near the same time.
SpaghettiHeresy
Dototototototototots dots
TheosophicBlues
Gnostic is best. Too bad the other Christians killed them all as heretics. It's amazing that some texts survived to the present.
kualityE
Will dp
romanaclef
What you do in your own time is nobody's business but your own. I'm told the trick is to be well warmed up and use plenty of lube.
bobthebuilder6
I can’t tell if joke or..
junkpunx
.
Attaroo
The naked boy that followed around Jesus and slept with him didn't make the cut either.
rfinclude
The 'beloved disciple' that liked to cuddle with Jesus made it into John at least
MyTherapistThinksImReady
.
norill
is it canon or fanfic?
romanaclef
That rather depends on your heretical preferences.
TheosophicBlues
Much predates the actual writings of the NT so more, scripture that didn't make the final cut when Christianity as we know it was created.
SilkyZ
IIRC, the Bible only stats Adam and Eve had 2 sons, never mention about not having daughters.
cubeportal
The Bible actually says they had a lot of children.
ChrisHemsworthsBulge
Mom's going to be putting in some extra hours at night
EroticZombiePants
It mentions them having more kids. Cain and Abel were the first.
jmaginary
Knowing that doesn't make the situation any better, does it?
Nivvi
Bible Genesis 5, the Book of the Generations of Adam. He lived to be 930 years. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_tree_of_the_Bible
Nivvi
So they have many sons and daughters.
AnChickens
And he begot Seth, the days of Adam were eight hundred years; and he begot sons and daughters. Genesis 5:3
roadhunter
And it was written by a bunch of nomadic shepherds after generations of verbal retellings, so it's not like a freakin' scientific paper.
AnChickens
Also inbreeding may not have been as detrimental at the time because of a lack of deleterious recessive alleles.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Maybe they were polyploid. Maybe God manipulates DNA "en vivo." Maybe "miracles." You can believe whatever you want to
AnChickens
They could have been for sure!
paul289
Yep. Genetic faults are why inbreeding is harmful, because they compound. If you start with perfect genes, that's not a problem.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Plenty of species employ inbreeding as their primary strategy. Outbreeding risks losing traits that you've acquired to adapt to your environ
Attaroo
Regardless, incest there, incest with Noah's kids, incest with Lot. Whole lotta incest.
GumiGopher
Win-cest
MikeF1982
And yet they get angry when you commit incest :-P
LiamNeesonOfficial
Doesn't mention her not having a light saber either. #woke
DirkNurple
Asking the real questions.
cousteau
*#wookiee
Owlcatcher
What about Seth?
TheBurritoConfederacy
I'm Seth. Just, Seth. From God, to Kane, to Seth. I am his right hand; and I have a task for you.
BackyardBushcrafter101
I understood that reference.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Seth was the only one who mattered. All the other lines die out in the "Great Flood"
TheosophicBlues
How much better is sister fucker compared to mother fucker?
MikeF1982
Second hand beer vs from the tap? lol
Greyganado
Depends on how much you like older women.
JmARCANGEL
It actually does say "and they had sons and daughters."
d0o0o0d
Only slightly better.
MikeF1982
o4kill
Tell me how humanity was supposed to have started without someone marrying their sister.
TheHawkRules
Have you seen how dumb people can be?
JapAnus
Alabama was right all along...
svga
well, it does say that Adam was the first, maybe he wasn't the only? Cain did find a wife in Nod near Eden... so there is that,
MichaelHames
In Jewish tradition there was another but she did not do well I think her name was Lilith she basically rejected god and went tohellonherown
optimusbrine
In Jewish midrash (basically rabbinic Biblical fanfic) Lilith came before Eve, but she didn't want to be subservient to Adam so she (1/2)
Csel
depending on the interpretation angels/demons intermingled with them. the bigger question is with Noah's repopulation
elendiastarman
To be super pedantic, incest wasn't outlawed until the time of Moses.
o4kill
Fun Fact: You know how Jacob married two sisters? While polygamy was allowed under the law of Moses, that version wasn't.
Bonkersfilly
Evolution. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TylerSully
Get out of here with your logic and reason.
o4kill
So you get to the first humans and who are they going to marry?
dontstoretheketchupupsidedown
"get to the first humans"?????? please read anything about evolution before asking such dumb questions
Bonkersfilly
Others in their species. Humans didn’t evolve all at once like a Pokémon. Gradual breeding based on natural selection across the species.
bongles
A Neanderthal
geosynthetic
Evolution is not a stairstep. There never was a first member of a distinct human (homo sapiens) species.
cousteau
The chicken.
alvastar
Arguably, God created other humans other than Adam and Eve. Bible doesn't say they are the only ones created, just the first.
MichaelHames
Well there was Lilith in the Jewish tradition but she did not like the things going on
alvastar
Typical Lilith.
Owlcatcher
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
THRAWN18
Yes, they had one from something that gave birth to them that wasn't human like us
donttemptmeokay
Ferrybug
Asking the important questions
Csel
were they created from thin air? did God use a cloning vat?
RoxanneLaWin
Apparently eve had giant, pneumatic honkers so anything’s possible.
MindOfMobius
well they're imaginary so if you want
ALaVergitaPerrita
Maybe, maybe not. But Eve did have some tig bitties
TacoBellBody
What good is a belly button to a man made from dirt and an ex vivo cultured rib meat that somehow gained sentience?
GUVMENTCHEEZE63
The fossilized eve that was dug up a couple of years ago showed slight signs on a belly button
Naturally90
Lolĺlll wut?
xrufus7x
gonna need a source on that claim
TheNonInsestuousJaime
Did... Did she have feathers??
s0bere
Plot holes in the bible? Who knew
Csel
how is that a plot hole in the Bible?
Bombabeer
They haven't read it so they don't understand.
s0bere
Also, yes. Yes I am implying that our bellybutton are literal plotholes
kerms
No because they didn't exist.
HitlerHero
Dude, i don't believe this shit either, but you're just being a fucking cunt. Fuck off
conTrollingyou
Yes, because how Adam and Eve were created in the bible is just symbolism for evolution.
xrayx
Did Adam have an adamsapple...or just an apple?
LightningFIshLivesInTheDeep
Another important question.
ABluntForce
Clearly he choked on the apple and died.
Stormquake
If I recall, he did have just an apple, and everyone is having a shitty time now because of it.
Snooj
Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight, Milo.
LasseTheLaser
OH SHIT WE WENT TO DEEP
Johansii
What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUCC
tygerpsimatrix
Q.I. Answer: No. Since Adam was made from the earth and Eve was made from one of his ribs; they would not have had belly buttons.
exlurker42
They wouldn't have a reason to. But there's no reason for earth to spontaneously form into a dude either so it seems more "if god wanted"
vowofloudness
It's no less reasonable to imagine an umbilical cord from the Earth to fetal Adam than his being "made from the earth" in the first place.
GrievousBHarmsworth
"Rib" is a suspect translation. Ever notice how human men still have all their ribs, but they don't have a baculum?
Mercenarity
Neither do horses, but we don't have a temptation story for them.
Bonkersfilly
My man with the religious penis bone theory.
mytigio
Why wouldn't human men still have their ribs even if a rib was used? If you lose an arm, your children still have both arms.
cousteau
What's a baculum again? *reads other reply* Ooooh
GiantSquanchy
Real answer: No. Because we evolved from a population of primates, and there was no actual Adam or Eve.
Altanese
Well you're no fun at all.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
MoustachePotato
I can't tell if you are one of those flat earthers or not
chimchim666
the theory of evolution has more evidence than literally any other scientific theory
joeyjojosharknado
Who wants to play today's game of troll or moron? You can win fabulous prizes.
natabus
Incorrect. They would not have undergone the developmental stages that we associated with belly buttons. But it doesn't address (1/3)
chimchim666
you mean like having your umbilical cord cut? they were never in a womb, dogg
natabus
No. But the Omphalos hypothesis asserts that they get a bellybutton ANYWAY. Wiki it. Its a fun read.
chimchim666
i have wiki'd it, thanks for the interesting read :)
natabus
if they actually HAD them. This is the root of the question in Omphaloskepsis. Did created trees have rings? Were Geological (2/3)
natabus
strata created as if aged? Was starlight from apparent distant galaxies created en-rout? (3/3)
Altanese
Most sects of Christianity (and any Abrahamic religion) accept that the universe is more than thousands of years old.
mytigio
Which basically boils down to "we don't and can't know."
natabus
Indeed. If we presume a creator, then everything is explicable in terms of "The creator wanted it that way" and Nothing is Falsifiable.
Kodaxmax
Which is why its such a popular escape. Just pretend everything is justified, because some idol says so and never have to question anything.
Studoku
God created Adam in his own image so the real question is "did God?"
QuantumSp3ctral
Does God even have a single physical form though, or is it in the image He thought of, and therefore “His” image?
thesobernihilist
No the real question is, does God have a butthole?
Undeadmushroom
And if he does? How was he born?
purgethefilthyheretics
Maybe "his image" refers to his consciousness? Maybe he has no physical body, but we do, which limits us from being like him?
SaturnBaby
DOES GOD HAVE A BELLYBUTTON?!
Karkatos
The biggest blackhole is both God mouth and belly button, recycling and feeding on the universe
MLGsamantha
What's god's anus then?
cousteau
Well if Adam was a mammal I assume God is too so I guess yes.
mytigio
the point is if Adam wasn't born, but rather hand crafted, here is no reason he would have a bellybutton and the same applies to God. 1/2
mytigio
Even if God were a humanoid mammal, unless it was born and had a umbilical cord attached, why would it have a bellybutton?
cousteau
Ergo, God was born at some point.
norill
if god is a mammal, does it mean he sucks tits?
Katateochi
& IF we were created in his image, does he have to deal with odd biological issues from time to time, like hiccups or the chronic shits?
PoppinLochNessHopster
Image doesn't have to be the things inside you can't see.
cousteau
Nah those are because of free will. Or the original sin. Probably the shits are because of eating the apple; it was rotten.
goodtimenoodle
Haha!
AimlessSavant
This is why I am Agnostic leaning towards Aethiest.
CrazyTaser
The answers are in the book.
dcrimsonking
Me too thank God
cool299
I'm atheist but that's not really a good argument. "In his image" doesn't refer to our literal physical bodies
AimlessSavant
So if he means in spirit. Why are there atheists, heathens. and heretics?
RetardedLobster
If God created me in his own image, then is he autistic?
Vanwolfster
And if God has created us in God's image, does that makes us Gods?
JarJarDrinks
"...and Cain knew his wife..." Huh? Where did SHE come from?
Amesang
http://holy-bibble.com/comics/74/
0xFADE
Some resulted in Nephilim. Stuff got bad real fast.
Taxicat
Honestly? Probably another tribe and the author just assumed the audience already knew that, so why bother explaining it?
YesImkazuma
Venus. All women are from Venus.
jaminjimmyjames
There's a couple times where there happens to be another tribe of people just over the hill, or whatever.
Alexanderthegreatschiefeunuch
Got kicked out of Sunday school for asking that one...lol
kmickey2059
#1 hello
kmickey2059
#1 can i see u
Klingon00
It’s wives all the way down...
SomeFukinIdiot
In Genesis 1:27 God creates humanity. "Male and female created he them" Adam isnt created until chapter two.
DoublevBomb
Fission.
PugPugPugPug
Lilith.
Hargy89
Abel in drag?
xbolt
kmickey2059
#1 helllo
InnsmouthTourist
Oh... uh... you wouldn't know her though. She's from... Canada.
theDogter
Likely the pre sapien hominid that we evolved from.
zethlington
Where did she go
thedangpiss
I want to know
PsycheClone
Move on up to the top of the comment thread. +1
japandler
Where did she come from, psych it's his bro
DracoDan
This belongs at the top, lol...
Samsquantch82
Where did she come from, Sister-wife Jo
MyFavoritesIsAllComics
convolution
I came for this.
IronGravyBoat
To*
BlurpBleepBoopERRORERROR
Cain ‘n Able ‘n Sister-wife Jo, they were married long time-go
banana4skale
Where did she come from? Where did she go?
CheeseburgertheSinister
His niece.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Genesis 5:4 “After becoming father to Seth, Adam lived for 800 years. And he became father to sons and daughters.”
CamelsCantFlyInSpace
Would't living 800 years be more miracle than surviving crusifixion. Is there bible of him ?
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Humans were originally meant to be perfect and never die. Because of this, as you go backwards, the closer to perfection you get, the longer
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
The lifespan. He actually lived to 930. His kid Seth died at 912, his grandson E’nosh at 905 and his great grandson Ke’nan at 910.
Xialdin
What about his other great grandson Kel?
ConfusedWinchester
Huh. TIL Adam, the first man, created by god himself, is the biological father of a pagan god.
HeThrustsHisFistsAgainstthePostsandStillInsistsHeSeesYourMom
Even before Cain and Abel and Seth, the Bible says that Adam and Eve were told to be fruitful and multiply. The 3 were born outside the GoE
CrescentM00n
I thought you said sith
CAntthenuclearapocalypsecomesoicanjustdiealready
It's still a ridiculous and physically impossible story
chaisheets
Was it the talking snake or the omnipotent creator making everything from nothing that made you feel that was worth saying?
CAntthenuclearapocalypsecomesoicanjustdiealready
More like the genetic impossibility of a species from two individuals
perefougasse
Apes, I think they talk about apes. (
chipthedog
Osaría
Drucifer1988
When Cain was being marked for his murder he complained that others in the world would hurt him. the theory is the world was populated (1/2)
Drucifer1988
I like to think it was the break between neanderthals and homo-sapiens and the earth was inhabited but that places this 7 million years ago.
ArdentSlacker
I like to think it's really bad BS... I mean, "as fucked up as Twilight, but with way more plot holes."
Ryanator50
that's a good rationalization.
A2DY79
More like 35-50,000 years ago...7 million years ago was when human and monkey ancestors were diverging.
Drucifer1988
that actually falls in line a lot better with the "begat begat" birthlines to noahs flood. there's evidence of the flood happening 6000bcish
cousteau
Maybe God made some more
HereticsAllOfYou
According to Jewish tradition Adam and Eve had a daughter for every son, they also had many sons but Cain and Abel were the first two.
imreallynotspecial
Well, not just tradition but in the bible/Tora. Only relevant people's names appear, like first borns, then says other sons and daughters
HereticsAllOfYou
That how the tradition explains it. The Bible isn't concerned with telling us everything, only stuff relative to the narrative.
ABluntForce
According to some tradition I'm not an expert on, there were other tribes nearby and Cain and Abel went and fucked 'em.
BathtubToasterParty
Haha I love that name "HereticsAllOfYou"
jrntn
I believe they started having new sons after Cain slew Abel, Seth being the first of the new batch, yes?
jrntn
I also believe that Seth's family line is the one that led directly to Noah
imreallynotspecial
Yea Seth got the 'bloodline' blessing as Abel was dead and Cain not worthy. The entire lineage thing is there to pedigree the messiah
HereticsAllOfYou
Correct. Seth was the patriarch being the eldest son but there were other sons according to tradition.
jrntn
And I realize that prefacing these with "I believe" in a discussion about theology is a bit on the nose
Grumblemags
Most of the first half of the bible is just: begat, begat, begat, begat, begat, begat, murder, begat, begat, begat, begat, begat, begat.
temujin9
Got to begat while the begettings good.
bigolanimetiddies
well, the lord did them tell to be fruitful and multiply
gamer2k4
That's not even close to being true, but some people might find the exaggeration funny.
Different55
There are significant stretches of book where that is true.
gamer2k4
I know; I've read them. That's still quite a bit different from "most of the first half of the Bible."
capngoat
90% of Chronicles. Then again, that's sorta the point of a chronicle .
CluelessAmerican
What is begat
TomZarekVP
poped out a kid
Gayforbae
Wait what was that one in the middle?
Wiiil
Richard herring does an excellent bit on his christ on a bike show: https://youtu.be/7ur2jyfcd8Y
Badger421
Many thanks for the link, friend. Just about fell out of bed laughing.
Studoku
The great begatsby.
GingerList
Pun
exlurker42
And this just replaced the proper name for several books of the bible lol
Grumblemags
Best comment yet ^
ThePointIsMoo
This has me chuckling. Thank you.
biggwhytey
YesImkazuma
Are you quote the audio book read by a condensing atheist? Good audio book 5 stars.
Attaroo
Does this explain the fucked up family section at Pornhub and Xvideos?
InRetrospectIShouldveLearnedToSwimBeforeBecomingaSailor
EXACTLY! I go on and its like "recommended for you". Hold up PH! I've searched for some weird stuff but never that!
throwawayacct1952
Yeah. All hardcore Christian fans.
freezingpilot
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bwi_1WlIAAAn-F_.jpg
spectheintro
God, his face gets me every time. Take your upvote.
kojenk
not far from the truth given the search hits from the belt regions..
gatomejores
Orthodox*
Feedingyouspiderswhileyousleep
Whoa whoa, easy there.
TheBitSlinger
His sister. It wasn’t forbidden at the time.
docsage
Fruit that teaches you right from wrong? FORBIDDEN!! Incest? Nah that's cool.
GeorgePotompkin
From an evolutionary standpoint you still would not be able to avoid incest. Also with knowing good and evil one takes on the burden 1/
GeorgePotompkin
of choosing good and not evil. Whereas before, one would be free from it like an animal is.
ChaosandChaos
Depending where you are, it still isn't.
reverendfixxxer
Alabama.
HeThrustsHisFistsAgainstthePostsandStillInsistsHeSeesYourMom
Adam and Eve had many children before Cain and Abel and Seth
Keibrina
Yeah and Cain and Abel were the first two boys, then Seth came along sometime after Cain murdered Abel.
Skyjack567
From god, to Kane, to Seth. He was his right hand.
sunyudai
Ryanator50
that's not better
ArdentSlacker
It's religion. Most of 'em have plot holes AND peyote-dreams... as well as the fucked up shit.
Ryanator50
well, all the better to prevent them from influencing our politicians and schools.
ArdentSlacker
Oh how I wish.
beaver753024
Land of Nod
mondeca
Zod
sunyudai
Matty3D
All hail Kane!
Matty3D
I thought they were too busy fighting the GDI.
Xialdin
https://imgur.com/0tykmxD
Shenili
land of Jod, that's where jifs come ftom
svga
It was East of Eden
ForeveraKritik
As in, "Nod in the Bible"?
VelKoz
the 'land of nod' is in the bible, as are multiple possible sources for other humans. either siblings or separate lineages
VelKoz
it now occurs to me that i missed a joke
sunyudai
Well, you caught yourself. So there's that.
Attaroo
Also Cain was pissed at Abel because God dissed him. Cain worked the earth and offered fruits and vegetables. Abel offered meat.
Attaroo
So God, not a Vegan. :D
BackyardBushcrafter101
I don't really want to be that guy, but the justification God gave was that Cain didn't give his "first fruits," i.e., his best to God, not
intaglioguy
This rule was so the Temple parasites ate well at the expense of the followers.
gamer2k4
Please, be that guy. If people are going to complain about the Bible, they should know what it says first.
smallchanceofsuccess
Same thing happens at my potlucks.
BackyardBushcrafter101
that he gave veggies versus Able's live stock.
TheZacAttack
You are 100% correct, the temple laws weren't set yet. The issue was that Cain did not give of his best, not what was given.