JaSphere1111
121649
3618
158
Maybe maybe maybe
Now you have the whole parking lot to sleep on.
Jun 30, 2021 12:25 PM
JaSphere1111
121649
3618
158
Now you have the whole parking lot to sleep on.
Boobsbuttsandstuff
Sweet dreams little Prince.
hereyougobacon71
Hay it's a win he got a pillow and blanket.
pastelteapot
dude, sleep in your own bed. She has no right to tell you to sleep anywhere else.
Streborel
She let him have a pillow?!?
OMGamIImguringCorrectly
Sleep tite.
Thereminista
My first thought was regarding the pillowcase. With those 3D rings, he's gonna look like he had tentacle sex w/a giant squid in the morning.
SalutetheBoner
Wife the night before -
v
LanceCorporalCarrotIronfoundersson
I see the homeless in LA are getting creative.
qufad
"Winning"...
gosomethingwitty
Could’ve at least parked in the bay
greatalexander165772
This is why I left women and decided to be 100% gay.
nickdillinger
ToneLock
no more useless fighting over nothing, peace at last.
arkadun
If you can't ever win with your spouse, you married the wrong person
AmericasNextTopFondler
Yup. It’s one of the main reasons I divorced my ex
mecalise
HuSbAnD dUmB wIfE bAd - hur hur boomer humor
dogmoind
1, you shouldn't try to "win" arguments. 2, if my gf was pissed at me and we couldn't resolve it, I'm still sleeping in my bed. She can too.
essemiis
Agreed. And since my ex bf kicked me out of "his" house and I slept I'm my car with no house keys, he's forever an ex.
acuteavocado7
grown-ass adults should not accept being told not to sleep in their bed. if ur spouse is pissy and doesnt want to be in the same bed
acuteavocado7
as u, they can sleep on the couch. im not gonna be uncomfortable all night and hurt my back because u want to act like an angry child
Gnorknik
I was both made to sleep on the couch and chose to sleep on the couch many times. If I was ever too mad/upset/scared to sleep next to him1/2
Gnorknik
I just slept on the couch. In our last two years together, I slept on the couch more often than in the bed.
FentuckyCriedKhicken
Omg what was the argument
EricPisch
He doesn’t know
fake40nedeso
JCBalance
"I bet I could sleep in the parking lot"
MedicSailor
It's funny, but real talk, if you let your wife kick you out of the bed for petty stuff like this, your relationship dynamic is in trouble.
DasSpasseste
What would be an appropriate reason to kick someone out of bed?
MedicSailor
Something that would also warrant sleeping in a hotel etc. while you get a lawyer.
DasSpasseste
So what you are saying is try and always have some money saved for emergencies? And/or an emergency sofa somewhere safe . . .
SmokyDoggg
cassperd
When I'm angry at the spouse I usually choose to sleep on the sofa for childish reasons. I get mad enough that I want to. Very immature.
FirstAidPoetry
But at least that’s your choice, you’re not punishing anyone else.
SaltyCoastie
Man, some of yall have some toxic and juvenile relationships. And this joke is so old it is offering me stale candy from a crystal bowl.
NotWelcomehere
Is it those little strawberry sumbitches? Cuz I'll take em if you don't want em!
SmoeAhsolse
This joke is so old it's probably on display in a British Museum of archeology.
OhNoDontTouch
Way older than that. I'm pretty sure this joke has been found engraved in hieroglyphics inside the pyramids.
Skelliton
Haha, wife bad.
yanaimean
One does not simply win an argument with one's wife.
meganical
Never understood how there is supposedly winners and losers in arguments but then again, I’m not an asshole
yanaimean
There are only argument losers in reality. Good communication and mutual respect prevent arguments before they even start...
JCBalance
No there aren't!
yanaimean
Grow up.
JCBalance
Get awareness. I was being argumentative.
jimmyjabgames
Haven't we as a society played out this joke?
ShAgAlAbAgAlA
Yes!
thedarktowerguy
much like an unvaccinated child, it never gets old.
pwnedbill
+1 just for the dark humor
DragonATAT
You can either be right or be happy...Your choice.
SlutAtNight
That’s a Life Lesson
NirvanaNik
Single, i choose single.
EricPisch
Very Wise
sgtwhiskeyjack
Alternatively you can take the attitude it's not me vs you, it's us vs the problem. Sometimes you have to hash things out.
enferno8
Nothing like a bit of boomer humor in the morning.
HieronymousFlex
Thekindofkindlyman
TheMagnificentSpud
Are you married?
enferno8
Yup
10hoursmspaint
asmallcat
I'm married. This is dumb shit humor and if your spouse regularly makes you sleep in a different bed cause they're mad, get counseling.
NotWelcomehere
Or get the fuck out.
DukeIAmYourFather
There are healthier ways to disagree than banishment.
runefjord2
if your spouse tells you to sleep in another bed because they are mad, they're terrible and need to grow up and go sleep somewhere else
Gnorknik
Yeah. Whenever I was angry enough to not want to speak to him, I slept on the couch. Or a couple of times at a neighbor’s house.
SanzPizmo
My wife slept on the couch once. It really told me I was being a fucking asshole. I felt like a dick.
Gnorknik
Yeah. I wish it worked like that for him. He made me sleep on the couch a lot, too.
runefjord2
that is the adult way to do it "I am angry, so I am going somewhere else" instead of "I am angry, you need to go somewhere else"
Gnorknik
Yep. Though he kicked me out of the bed a lot, too. Once had to sleep on the couch for over a month because I was sick and my coughing 1/2
SanzPizmo
People still say okay boomer?
unfamiliarHorse
why not?
SanzPizmo
For someone my age, who’s past the idealistic stage, it’s cringe inducing to hear.
unfamiliarHorse
First of all Ideals are a goal not a norm. Therefore good idealism can be quite realistic. Second, okay boomer is criticism to a ...
unfamiliarHorse
... set of ideals and values and more. To thing that criticism is useless, because of life experience seems cynical to me. And to be...
purr
pyrrhic victory.
Villainouscollarbone
Victory yes, but at what cost?
nclu
If I achieve such a victory again, I shall be utterly ruined.
Thrillhouse1001
Shameful Display!
bread1
you just need that one guy with an unbreakable will to win!
Sombike
Love me some Warhammer 2
MOfitserov93
Shogun 2
coffeepot583
Two weeks until the Beastie Boys come for Toddy boy's other eye
wholesomeexplanation
And Warhammer got it from a real king & event: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrrhic_victory
Thethundercougarfalconbird
Fuck yeah, history!
superbest
OG Rome Total War!!!
dumberthanyouraveragebear
This comment makes me sad for historians
Jack0d
How dare people learn a historical term from a fantasy game
TimbitsAreDonutHoles
It shouldn't. If the criticism is that the term is familiar only because of a game, those historical tactics live on through the game.
Morgoth117
The amount of history I learned from Rise of Nations and Rome Total War is crazy. It’s why I wanted to learn so much history.
superbest
Same! The ancient period is still my favorite
GINGIVITISSS
Wives. Am I rIgHt FeLlAs?!
INeverWaitForIt
I can never win an argument with my wife--our girlfriend always takes her side.
ButtmoTerror
ThailandExpress
NeedtofavouritetheseWallpapers
Ha, totally, I'm so happy I'm alone.
Pally01
WIFE BAD. PHONE BAD. FETCH WATER NOT CRUMMY POKEMON CREATURES
lindbjb01337
Lampmonster
Hahahaha my wife never fucks me isn't that hilarious!! Next on Everyone Fucking Hates Raymond!!!!!
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Ugh, yes. That show and King of Queens. They have their funny moments but man it’s just “How Toxic Can We Be to Each Other?” ft. Laugh track
RideTheStimutacs
Check out "Kevin Can Fuck Himself" on AMC. It shows what happens in the sitcom wife's life when her idiot husband isn't around. Great show.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
I just watched that the other day! Can’t wait to see where it goes
abyssfiend1
Ah yes, boomer humor.
B99Reactions
Thats one pretty young boomer
FatForYou
Boomers don't own all bad jokes
SanzPizmo
George Carlin and Paul Mooney, for 2.
SanzPizmo
Maybe not very funny, but lightly funny, if you know.
SanzPizmo
My wife would never kick me out. Dick game wayyy too fire.
10Ts
sensible_chuckle.gif
bingotown
Where “boomer” in this case means anyone who has been married for more than a couple weeks.
wette
I think if your wife kicks you out of bed for an argument, your marriage sucks ass.
pareidoliaperson
This is lighting up female toxicity, yet men gets it.
NotWelcomehere
Uhhhh it's just a shit joke, be with someone that doesn't act like a child when they "lose" an argument.
pareidoliaperson
Sure a joke, but one that many can relate. That's a horrible thought. We normalize 1 thing, and reject the other. This belongs to latter tho
NotWelcomehere
I reject that we need to keep talking about this garbage "humour" it's just bad.
LegosBearsAndSex
This! I commented too a few days ago on something else and got the hell downvoted out of me...I'm a wife!!
NotWelcomehere
I get it, people just want to take comfort in the familiar, and anything that goes against that grain is ignored or silenced :/ c'est la vie
NairouTryyshokk
To quote an ex "It doesn't after if you are right, it only matters how it makes me feel" a line that I have heard time and time again
NotWelcomehere
You are a shit magnet then.
NairouTryyshokk
Most of the gender puts more stock in emotion than logic, and thats a problem. How are we supposed to be in a relationship when you are
NairouTryyshokk
Crying about things that never even happened?
NotWelcomehere
"most of the gender" hell of a thing to generalize.
NeverUpvoteBewbs
"Are you PMSing? Just calm down..."
lurkilydurkiler
…were his last words on this Earth
DaierMune
The thing about that is it gets you coming & going. They mad if u wrongly assume they're PMSing; and they're even madder when you're right
shadowofacrow
I have it on a calendar to remind me. Apply pain killers and chocolate.
kodiak931155
I honestly have this talk with the wife. But not in a suicidal or dysfunctional way. "So you really pissed about X. Do you think this
kodiak931155
Is based on somethung chemical or is it based on something bigger than X that youre associating it with or are you actually this pissed
kodiak931155
About or are you really this mad about this thing? She does the same for me. It helps us relise why we are upset about.
kodiak931155
Youd be surpised how often its "im unhappy about X but these 3 other things are turning this 2 into an 8 on the emotion score."
LaronX
A little young for a boomer. You do know you can just marry a person that can argue like an adult
o4kill
Thats the goal, problem is she wins. Even the one she lost she thinks she won.
WildCard321
And if you argue like an adult you're not really trying to win the argument, so you'll end up sleeping next to your wife that night too.
lurkylurkylurky
PandAnomoly
You're currently at 69 upvoted (72 if you include your downvoted) so I went to your profile to upvote you twice. Nice.
lurkylurkylurky
ScrippyChan
You can also elect to not argue. I know I won't
Tigersterne
Now you tell me.
luisgaio822000
Single man spotted!
TheInternetNeedsMoreCats
Here I pictured the guy and his wife rap battle tag teaming some other dude that dared start shit.
FeedTheNachoMan
No, see, they just live in a car parked in a public parking lot.
evilcarp
Isn't that cute. Then children think they nor their spouse will every change after getting married.
AsajjSeamstress
I've never understood how some couples constantly argue. I've been married for 7 years and we like... never argue. It sounds exhausting.
PandAnomoly
Sounds like you found the right person
enferno8
We've been together almost 6 years and recently married and I think we've only fought like, twice.
Gnorknik
It is.
everythingthatglitters
Same!
magnificentbastard
Most people, regardless of gender, are terrible communicators and even more terrible at conflict resolution.
LaronX
But it doesn't have to be like that.
BarbarianinaLibrary
If the last five years have taught me anything, it's that if the interaction is not focused on compassion and solutions, walk the fuck away.
icantspellsrry
Problem is sometimes you get too good at walking away. Kinda like a forest gump run and never stop type walking away
Tariovic
And you end up on your own and happy.
icantspellsrry
That's my current state...some sort of cat lady Sept dogs and I'm not a lady. Honestly happy not to be bothered.
RecoveringIntrovert
It's called finding humor is depressing things. That's literally same type of humor millennial have. You can't have your cake and eat it
moonnoodleface
No. Boomer humor is I hate my wife/husband. Millenial humor is I hate myself.
RecoveringIntrovert
No lol it's literally the same. You are wrong. You're just hating in another generation the way you think they all do to ours.
MeKillStuff
You’re right. Men that have the shared experience of having married someone with some emotional issues shouldn’t be able to share meme humor
MeKillStuff
And, by extension of course, women with emotional issues have no right to have someone love them for their other qualities and marry them.
evilcarp
It's not like certain mental health issues show up in the early 20's either.
LaronX
Dude, emotional issues are no excuse to be a dick regardless of gender. I have several, but I try to be aware of them and if I can't deal1/2
LaronX
With them I ask to delay the talk. It's a matter or respecting your partner and giving them the space they need. Not just being silent 2/2
RealityIsOftenDisappointing
X here. Married. Some battles aren't worth "winning". More times than not, she's just hungry, tired or anxious from overthinking. /shrug
fairleenormal
I could say the same about my man. No person is perfect. I let him win some and sometimes I fight back. Sometimes I am the brat.
Kittynomnoms
I hate that shit. You're not a toddler. If you're nasty to me because you're hungry, you're still an asshole.
LaronX
No offense, but I get that too and so does my gf. As an adult you need to know when you are off and not reasonable. It's a skill to learn
Pillmatic540540
That's why I always carry cookies, juice boxes, Xanax, and a pillow with me. It's my argument survival kit, call it "The Pacifier".
Pillmatic540540
It's basically the exact same method for dealing with a toddler throwing a tantrum, minus the Xanax of course. Give them a snack and a nap.
Giant2179
I'm imagining getting comfy with your snacks, popping a xanny and not giving a fuck while she chews your ass.
Pillmatic540540
Yea, should've clarified, that stuff is for me, not her. Glad that came through. Hard to care about anything when you've got Xanax and juice
PandAnomoly
All my exes and even my current bf and I always revisit topics. We will tell eachother we are too emotional to talk, then come back later. >
LaronX
That's how adults do it
PandAnomoly
>It is not hard to communicate, it requires effort. If someone's picking a fight because of attrition, they need to learn their own mood >
PandAnomoly
NotQuiteBlonde
Agreed. And if you didn't learn it from parents/guardians in those years (like me), therapy works!!