A dump for you in these dire times

Oct 22, 2020 5:24 PM

TellurideH

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120990

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4013

Dislikes

95

Cunt is the cartwheel with a pose at the end

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#9 I've seen this.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

#34 i told my boss once that "if I die driving home, I died doing what I loved, leaving this place"

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

ok I don't understand the Pearly Gates one. shouldn't that be least fav thing?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#18 People who like country don't like music. That's why they all move to talk radio by the time they're 40 when they're alone.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Damn good stuff in here @op

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#1

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#18 my experience has been the opposite. I’ve had people take offense when I said I didn’t love country

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1im both these guys

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I’m both of them when I think about my own kinks

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

#1 I remember someone telling me the first time about eating ass, and it disgusted and confused me so much

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

#41 made me feel better about my body image than years of therapy dieting and exercise

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#24 bitch chic-fil-a tastes like chicken that went into foster care at the age of 7

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ooo look at the fancy git what can afford a dishwasher...

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Take your vote I had a humor

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#50 God I wish we could do away with this stupid notion. Customers are fucking morons.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

#18 Yes. The end.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

poor Jason.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#49 Asking for more sauce packets after you’ve already asked them once because they skimped out on you twice already. Looking at you Arbys.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fucking DQ giving me ONE cup of cheese sauce for a 6 piece chicken tender and fries. How's that little cup gonna cover all that food?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

PREACH BROTHER! Lol.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#8 is funnier in Kilometres per hour

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Why?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bit going as fast implies a worse car. And I'm tired do humour hits different idk man

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#25 I mean, yeah, it's a banger.

5 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

As someone who used to work at little caesars, I can 100% confirm this is true. We didn’t make good pizza, but it was hot, and it was cheap.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Caesar's sauce was tasteless, but cheese was about as good as Papa John's. Toppings were mediocre. I should make a pizza alignment chart.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, I like it. Plus it reheats well. And that Crazy Bread is like crack.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Better than the other fast food pizzas like Papa John's or Pizza Hut. And it was dirt cheap. $5 for a pizza is hella cheap.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

Boo, you used the *screams internally* version.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

That… that's me.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why is Switzerland used here hahaha ?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have no idea, but I figured I'd give the community another reaction image.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Its not Switzerland, it's the nation of Tar. Says right there on the map.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#42 there needs to be a way to set up a blackout period for that.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Seriously. And backlight the on switch for the ice/water light. How can I see the switch for the light without light??? Light sensor.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Switch illuminates, turns off ice maker. Done.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This was an amazing dump.. my dog was almost 20 years old died yesterday... You helped me laugh before going into work.. Thank you very much

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

So sorry, I’m sure he/she was an amazing pup. I hope they see my awesome dog TJ over there across the rainbow bridge !

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I really appreciate it... I'm sure he did... I bet they're playing together as we speak

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh....I am so sorry.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you very much

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What in tarnation

5 years ago | Likes 255 Dislikes 1

Yeah, but you don't say "nation" after a country name. I'm going to Switzerland nation. Canada nation. Puerto Rico territory. Brazil nation.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

You must be real fun at parties

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Got the joke AND knew some of us boneheads would ask...can I sort'a just follow you around all the time?

5 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Not all heroes wear capes.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ffs. Sigh. Thank you

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Agreed

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

TIL Tarnation is in fact Switzerland

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Thank you haha I didn’t get that the first time

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#39 The baking company I work at does this regularly. And with bombass sourdough bread. v

5 years ago | Likes 149 Dislikes 2

La Farm?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The smell of fresh baked bread is like any other. Why must complex carbohydrates tempt me so?

5 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Consider me.... boule'd over.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh my... You just made me get out of bed to make a grilled cheese sandwich

5 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

hey, put a fried egg on it and some mustard, and if you have french fried onions, ad those for some crunch.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is that lengthwise or just...round.

5 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Just round sourdough

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We came here for lengthwise, motherfucker!

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is round but we also slice loaves length wise if requested.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Does that cut huma...err I mean pig bone? My hobby includes cutting bone often for...uh...religious stuff. Yes normal religious stuff

5 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 3

Welp, it doesn't have problems cutting through heads- I mean BREADS! BREADS! Haha! Oh golly, wasn't that a sawed paw! I mean FAUX PAS!

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They're essentially oscillating serrated razor blades. Super sharp. It's an absolute bitch switching out the knives when they get dull.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Blink twice if this is Hannibal.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#49 and then management requires a doctor's note, so now you gotta shell out money & time for a visit to urgent care.

5 years ago | Likes 155 Dislikes 2

Then they tell you that if you're well enough to go to the doctor, you're well enough to work.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We have 10 days per year you can be "sick" without doctor's note or proof so long as it's not more than 3 in a row

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

If it's near the end of the year and I've not been ill much, I make sure to use up a few of them sick days. It's basically extra holiday.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't forget makes you call others to find your replacement for the shift!

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I traded a shift to a coworker and still got marked as absent.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Luckily that apparently legally counts as working. Record the time you spent doing it and turn it in for paid hours.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Jokes on you, my work required one but then wouldn’t excuse the absence because “these girls are in with their doctors you know.”

5 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

That’s right, I fell down my stairs intentionally! I paid a doc when I’m already check to check just to have an unpaid day off! /s

5 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

You have to pay for a doctor's note? Jesus Christ, seriously, get it to-fucking-gether America!

5 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

You pay for doctors notes in Canada too buddy. But it’s illegal to ask for one as an employer.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Do you? No idea, I don't live in Canada (bit of an odd assumption).

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not everything that is hot garbage is exclusively American. But it’s about $40 in Alberta.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

True, but as you've pointed out it's not a problem in Canada if it's illegal to ask for one.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm so incredibly glad to have an employer who treats us like freaking adults and doesn't make us deal with that kind of BS.

5 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 0

Here here!

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Best part is contractually, they can only do that after three days but I've had several managers break that rule. One of them even got in

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Trouble for that & got transferred. Which made the next time I got to work with her very awkward.

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I had to call in a few days ago due to food poisoning. I told him I was sick and wouldn't be coming in. He says "alright, whats happening"

5 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I told him I was throwing up last night and I can't keep any food down I had this morning. The line goes quiet for a few seconds and then he

5 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Just replies "EWW, alright feel better. Give me a call if you won't be in tomorrow" I laughed my aas off at how disgusted his "eww" sounded

5 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

That's a good boss.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

In the UK you don't have to provide a doctor's note by law unless you're off for 7 days+. We also get guaranteed 28 days PAID sick.

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

gosh, that sounds lovely

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

We do not even get one day of guaranteed sick/vacation/maternal/paternal leave by law. I became disabled before the ACA and I got turned 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

away from the ER and told to go to the free clinic who gave me a doctors note to excuse me for missing a day of work... So I went back to2/3

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

work on one leg for the next year-ish because if I quit/got fired I couldn't get unemployment and I was and still am not getting disability.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0