dummpaDay
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Foyer before. Only enough room to walk through.
Foyer after. 6 hours of work.
Kitchen before. Totally unusable.
Kitchen after. Another 6 hours of work.
Living room before + dog tax. Sophie by the door standing in her favorite spot, right in the way. Zoey mean mugging a dust bunny, probably.
Living room after. 7 hours of work. It was cleaner than this when I left, but didn't get a final picture.
This is my mom's house that we're helping her clean up. I'll post more updates as I have them.
Maldraek
Grandparents were Depression-era, parents were late-stage Boomers. I caught a bit of the "save everything" mentality, but even I have limits
Baxtersmum
Wow @OP you’ve done a great thing there!
MathewCorbett
It's like in the show Fargo where Kirsten dundst character hoards beauty magazines that. Early kill an intruder lol
Faurble
Damn that's a nice looking house!
Canadiankittytitty
Wow that is a gorgeous house. Glad it is becoming what it should be
pelicansfightingterrorism
Way to go! And I have a beagle, Sophie, that looks so much like your precious gal.
LoTRFanatic42
I lived in a house like this as a kid, only worse. Good on you for helping your mom get out of this situation.
LetsGoJigglypuff
I’m having to do this at my parents house currently. It’s so difficult because my mother has a mental inventory of EVERYTHING.
nicholasagream
Cleaning is all about moving crap from one side of the room to the other while throwing out a little each time.
dummpaDay
Just @ me next time
LuvinDggz
Mom is like this. It’s like she’s uncomfortable having an open space, it needs to be filled
cre8majic
hoarding/never discarding is like building a wall, maybe get her checked for health issues, depression, dythimnia
cre8majic
sorry, dysthimnia
kawaiisaac
Spent Christmas Eve doing this for my MIL. I've done it several times since too. I have plenty of empathy for you. Good job
McTricks
Marie Kondo would be proud
newsguycraigevans
But it's not munkensplatt
McTricks
NeutralGoodAndrew
Is your mother getting professional mental help for her state?
dummpaDay
She sees a therapist, yes, and has for years. She's manic depressive and buys when manic, sleeps when depressed. Bad combo
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
This. Cognitive Behavioral therapy with an emphasis on Hoarding Disorder. Groups are available in some locations too. “Buried in Treasures”
nerdditty
Bravo, it’s a gorgeous home that can be thoroughly enjoyed now. Also, good job at being a fucking amazing and patient child to her, there
nerdditty
isn’t a lot of folks that would stick around to deal with this kind of condition. Your family obviously has a lot of love and big hearts
kittenbeantoes
Are the packages in the foyer unopened?
dummpaDay
Yes. Definitely. But the thrill of buying stuff is all that matters
unicornonthecobb
That's so wild! I hope you are able to sell it or donate it.
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
Yikes.
JangoRex
Woah. Good job @OP
goodisunpopular
@OP make sure you keep any receipts you find and match them up with anything you donate so your mom can get a tax deduction.
dummpaDay
Isn't the standard deduction way better than itemization? We're not donating 10k + worth if stuff. We HAVE found over $200 so far in cash
goodisunpopular
It depends on your moms tax bracket and expenses. How much is she paying in sales tax per year with all that shopping?
dummpaDay
I think she's in the neighborhood of 60k pay after taxes. Haven't seen a paycheck of hers in a long time but she makes good money.
dummpaDay
As far as sales tax paid, who fucking knows?
RichardHanna
This is great, good thing you did for your Mom op!!!
Kylonen
Also a child of a hoarder but we have yet to clean it out. Any tips on convincing mom she won’t actually need the stuff? How’d you do it?
dummpaDay
It's taken years my dude. It's small wins here and there. You'd be surprised how much of a difference neatly organizing can do
ediblepain
That's really sweet that you helped clean up.
Shadowmantress
That's amazing. Before/after shows what a beautiful house it really is. So happy for your mother, that she can see it clearly again.
Munchman347
The older I get, the harder it is to toss out stuff I 'Might' need. I have to steel myself to dump things I'll never get around to using...
NatesSauceLab
I think my wife is a hoarder. It's terrifying. We fight when I suggest cleaning up her stuff. Can't find a way to talk to her about it.
dummpaDay
Compromise. If there's 3 of something say we need to donate one. Reduce your clothing by 1/4, etc. Box what you aren't using and store it.
avastmehearty
Have you discussed counselling? It might help, there may be more going on between you than just her clutter. Good luck!
pinatafarmer
Woah woah woah, there's a lot of good stuff in there!
IridescentLotus
In a hoard, it is hurting her
beerlady
If they tossed the Mikes hard lemonade, so help me....
dummpaDay
I gave my wife a hard time for drinking two lol
Archstump
I remember when that box would be gone in a couple hours, now i see twenty minutes of squirts and not trusting my farts for a few days
thatswhatshesped
Okay I'm trying to convince my parents to let me do this...any advice?
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
Please give this book a read first: Buried in Treasures: Help For Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, And Hoarding (Treatments That Work)
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
It’s based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and is very important for both those struggling with this behavior and their families. 1/2
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
Cleaning behind the persons back/without their permission can make things worse, as this is an emotion regulation strategy. 2/2
houndinghell
Thanks for the book recommendation!
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
Absolutely! I hope it’s helpful!
dummpaDay
Agreed, we have to do this with her, not on our own. She has to be in control of her stuff
lukemoist
How did you get rid of all the stuff? Dump?
swatz
Around here we have a good will, churches will take clothes and toys, schools will take clothes for kids. We have donation boxes and <
swatz
>recycle bins. After that when you get to the trash, you just have to hit the dump.
Aztekke
It did not spark joy
dummpaDay
Garbage bags, recycling, consolidating stuff to save into manageable boxes to sort and put away later.
Spankyerr
Dont lie to us, open those cupboards and then show us ur basement
dummpaDay
I'll do another post
pbrtallboy
Do You just secretly throw shit out
evilpsych
Yes. But mom must read imgur. I was at a hoarder potential clients today. fuck people can’t get out of their own way to sell their shit.
dummpaDay
You have to sneak it. Show them that you're saving things that should be trash to offset the amount of things you pitch w/o their knowledge
dummpaDay
A lot of it right now is moving the stuff to save to the basement where we will have to organize and store.
pilotperson
Honest question—if you threw it all out, would she miss any particular items? Does she know what’s in the piles, or does she just
Allcoin
Not OP, but I have lived in these conditions before (extended family home) people remember traces of areas, but generally on few specifics
pilotperson
have a sense of “I’ll put it here first—maybe I’ll need it later”?
RationalPessimist
Generally no, however removing masses of items all at once can trigger severe trauma and cause the behaviors to worsen
dummpaDay
She'll know when she goes to use it next, but won't know if it's lost in the house, put away, or gone for good.
DiersEve1
Chucked it all in the next room, by the looks of it..
dummpaDay
That room hasn't been touched yet
dummpaDay
Anyone want to guess what's in the small boxes in the first picture?
ProfessorPritt
I had a grandmother in law from the same time period pass away: I'm guessing small glass figurines, cups, curious to go in a cabinet, etc.
dummpaDay
Damn close. They are "collectibles"
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
Non-stop dildos.
IAmWAYTooOldForThisShite
"Kitten of the Month Club" deliveries. You do NOT want to open them now ...
jonestown
nothing?
dummpaDay
@MaryBerrysShrivelledWankClaw with the correct answer
fantastapotamus
it looks like a lot of them haven't even been opened but so many look to be the same size and source. are they all the same thing?
dummpaDay
Yes!
indianchiefmotocycle
If anything like my mom was, QVC junk.
dummpaDay
Used to be! Not this time
kissmyassets
Yes... Please
kissmyassets
I guess presents from family and breakable stuff. (Fragile boxes)
houndinghell
I'm a bad person and my first thought was a KonMari book. More seriously, specialty lightbulbs she doesn't need or jewelry?
dummpaDay
Jewelry was the episode before this. Close!
MaryBerrysShrivelledWankClaw
I'm a "collector" too so my guess is salt and pepper sets or egg cups, or some other small collectables.
dummpaDay
Fucking A. Right on! Salt and pepper shakers from occupied Japan. Weird flex, mom, but ok
MaryBerrysShrivelledWankClaw
If I could see inside those boxes I would probably be jealous! Stuff like that is few and far between here in New Zealand.
dummpaDay
You win my internet point, but I'm not sure it's worth much as I've been up dooting everything on this post
dummpaDay
I forgot to mention that we play a game where the person who finds the oldest dated document wins $50. Oldest so far is August 2002
lightning350
I have a Pokémon card older than that
personalpackagehandling
helped my grandma move out. oldest was a bottle of peppermint from the late 60s
bandanafurscale
What a great idea. I’m proud of you, stranger.
meganly
After my grandpa passed, my mom cleaned out his house and found a deep freezer with canned food from the 70’s. He died in 2014.
dummpaDay
Canned food, in the freezer?
ShaZam1269
Lol, that's nothing. Mom had letters from 1893. Pretty neat actually.
barbwirelove
In 2012 after my mom passed we found a bottle of tylenol from i wanna say 1979
jgort
Just did my mother-in-law's house and we were finding some shit from the mid nineties. Yikes. I wish I had made a game of it.
greatgreenglobsofgreasygrimygopherguts
I'm moving in a few weeks and am purging. Found a bank deposit slip from 2004.
Mach30ThatsFasterThanMostPlanesCanGo
My dad and I recently cleaned out my late grandmother's home and found her ex husband's w2 from 1952. Bonkers
dummpaDay
I should have specified - oldest not purposefully saved item
MrsGroovy
Pfft we we're find pay stubs from the 50's in g'mas house. Also a depression era hoarder.
ith50005
My grandmother had receipts for her couch back from ‘62.
CritterrCatcher
I found documents from 1931 in my grandparents house
ith50005
My grandmother had receipts for her couch back from ‘62.
jabbaslilsister
We found the receipt for my baby bed in my Mom's hoard. I was born in 1969.
dogfrost9
My gf and l are cleaning my moms house (that l inherited). We've found stuff from the 1900s. Her uncles army card from 1910 comes to mind.
DillPixels
I should’ve played that game with my sister and medicine in my moms place. In 2013 I found meds from 1992.
CirB
Documents only, or do items like newspapers & books count?
dummpaDay
It had to be something that wasn't properly saved
RichardHanna
Newspapers like the NYT are documents of record, so yes.
sheanar
Cleaning out my bf's mom's place in 2014 we found fish in the freezer from 2007. She'd moved twice since then -_- 1/?
sheanar
We spent almost 4 weeks cleaning out a 3 bedroom apartment. So much garbage. So much wasted money. It was SUPER depressing in many ways 2/?
sheanar
The upside was she didn't actually know value. Got a lifetime supply of pencil crayons & 2 never used cast iron pans out of it. 3/3
DrunkQuokka
What if you find an old $100 dollar bill?
dummpaDay
Finders keepers! We use it to buy lunch or dinner because who wants to cook after all that
IliveIdyeIliveagain
Madonna's nude book 'SEX' was published in 1992 FYI. Just saying
TortieShmortie
Been cleaning out my gma's house. Found some books from 1805. Civil war era stuff. Letters from family discussing Lincoln's assassination.
filthyoldmanwhore
So it was your family that was behind it all!
TortieShmortie
Wouldn't surprise me. We've got some sketchy characters!
CardioVascular
Woah, that is super cool.
dummpaDay
Stuff that was saved purposely is off limits. This is mostly oldest worthless mail or receipt item
yourbassist
It's no document but it's dated and I did the honor of drinking it when we found it this weekend.
dummpaDay
yourbassist
My grandma wasn't quite a hoarder but she damn sure had a lot of shit.
gsmdo
You can also try finding the oldest sell-by date in the kitchen. My record (in 2004) was a packet of Ground Ginger best before Sep 83...
peeeopeepeee
My great g'ma gave us a to go bag on thanks giving that had a can of peaches that expired in 86, I was born 95. She has Alzheimer's, so....
becausesnakesandsparklersaretheonlyonesilike
I like this one!
TheRelevancyOfMyNameIsRelativelyIrrelevant
I have a 17 year old jar of mayo in my fridge. Apathy kept me from tossing it before, now it feels like a piece of history.
BlueMaggot
lol. my grandma kept a make your own pizza kit from 1983
DeltaBladeX
As long as you then send it to Ashens or a similar YouTube channel. Recently he did a video on 50 year old ox tongues.
Pha1ltalityOfficial
Ashens is awesome
Mithi
Temp job clearing an office building. Found an instant noodle meal expired ~23 years ago, co-worker looked & laughed hard. [1]
Mithi
"That thing is older than I!" [2]
sarikitty
Just found an old box of pie crust mix in my mom's old house from 1972. She bought the house in '78. It was 6 years gone when she moved in.
gsmdo
dummpaDay
At my grandmother's house there are hand canned goods from the 80s that couldn't be thrown out because "the jars are still good"
bandashee
Glass jars, yes as long as the lid is intact. Metal cans might need a solid look over.
maincarrot
Oddly, I struggle with this sometimes. I have a pile of shit...... but........................ there's a part that's still good on it...
maincarrot
Some days, the thought of laying down on glass seems like a relief because I'll take my mind off the million little things I keep track of.
maincarrot
Broken glass that is. Shards of pokey, spiky, glass.
UnapologeticTeaEnjoyer
In 2016, dehydrated and canned food (carrots, wheat, barley, milk, noodles, orange juice +) 1973. I ate it all.
UnapologeticTeaEnjoyer
Gallon cans of emergency rations. Rated to last 15 years.
UnapologeticTeaEnjoyer
Oh! And there was a can of dehydrated ground beef. Perfectly edible.
dummpaDay
The psychology behind it is interesting at least to me. Daughter of depression era hoarders. Save everything because you might need it later
stellarmaryjane
The before pictures look just like my dads house. I wish he would let me help him.
Taxicat
Grew up with a hoarder (my mother). Not sure what her excuse was, but it’s left me with a lot of PTSD-type issues.
archaholic
I really want to do this for my mom but it's hard to find the time. We live in diff states. I've definitely inherited some tendencies...
thejinseng
I work at a missionary organization and the same mentality prevails here. No salary, live on support. Might need this object later.
thejinseng
The parts/storage room is chock full of junk, outdated documents and absolute trash dating back as far as 1955 because hoarding mentality.
CapitalNick
Not as bad as this & not of the depression era, but I have the same mindset. It's crippling to force yourself to throw out a simple object.
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
This might help. (I co-facilitate a group based on this book. It’s Cognitive Behavior Therapy based. PM me if you have any questions) 1/2
urnotwrongurjustnasshole
Buried in Treasures: Help For Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, And Hoarding 2/2
NoIdeaWhatToUseHere
PM sent.
CirB
Yeah. My grandfather lived through WWII (in Finland), and the "lean years" afterwards. He stashed pretty much everything, from newspapers(1)
CirB
and bent nails to broken appliances. When we sold his farmhouse after his (and gramma's) death, we ended up having to sort through and (2)
CirB
toss away soooooo much stuff (couldn't leave it for the buyer to sort out) (3/3)
shenlongclaw
Oof- I feel you. After 4 days help at my mom’s the house & garage are better but she still has 4 full storage sheds :/
katanatripsis
That sounds like my mom. Her house looks worse, and she can’t deal with talking about it.
avastmehearty
My parents were both pretty cluttered, but after my dad passed away my mom really let it take over. Only got it cleared out after she passed
killbrutus
Dude. My mom and grandma are hoarders. It's totally a disease. A frustrating disease.
gostoso666
I used to work as a declutterer. Top 3 reasons for hoarding that I saw were: unresolved grief, abandonment and unfulfilled potential
AFutileGesture
My dad is like that also. My mother hates it. Their storage barn is cluttered with items that they will never use.
babybodybuildingninjajesus
Her house is actually very pretty when you can see it. Great job @OP!
sydneygirl
yeah I though the same, nice house under there.
ilovecake
My great-grandmother was the same way, to a degree. She was born in 1921, and she would hoard all kinds of stuff. So many empty butter tubs.
ilovecake
And there would be decades old expired condiments in the fridge, or scary things in the pantry. She also would carry tinfoil in her purse.
ilovecake
So even if we were at a buffet restaurant or a wedding she would be smuggling out leftovers or food. It’s a crazy mentality I hope to
ilovecake
Never have myself, and I’ve lived through some really, really poor times.
DelusionsConfusions
my moms a hoarder too, Finally Convince her that chairs destroyed, Fine, BUT I WANT THE LEGS, I could use them...Eventually...The Bolts then
lovexconspiracy
This is exactly my mom. She was born in 61, her mother was a depression era child. She hoards to high hell and spends money she doesn't have
dummpaDay
Top that with manic episodes where she buys to feel better = lots stuff that she never uses. Oh my God the amount of old mail that is here
TheCrazySucculentLady
That was /is my grandma. But it wasn't just mail, it was pictures... her first bed was held up by boxes of pictures
mypatronusridesinatardis
My mom has literally the same exact issues. It must be such a relief for your mom to have all those rooms cleared now. Great job!
121992811
This... this is my sister... she has 2 house fulls of stuff and she just keeps buying. Oh and a storage unit full. She has over 40k of stuff
gostoso666
Is she going to be able to change some of her behaviours so the house stays usable?
dummpaDay
Likely not
dmk21
Best of luck to you and your mom. Just keep in mind a lot of people relapse and go back to their old habits (well med school tells us that)
boecherer
Then at least there will be nothing older than 05-28-2019.
livelikejackandsally3
My mom is literally the same person. I've gone through more than one cleaning and it's always back to the way it was within a few months.
Meilkor
How do you get them to let go?? Serious question here.
dummpaDay
Say from the get go we need to get rid of 25%, then exfiltrate another 25% in donations and stuff you say you'll use.
dummpaDay
Getting rid of the packaging and mail and paper is honestly the biggest part
Meilkor
thank you
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
My mom never throws anything away. Garbage and packaging and stuff, yes, she's very neat. But she still has all our old toys neatly /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
packed in bins and stacked. All her kids are in their 30s/40s. The house is full to the brim. At least it's organized. She said it's /2
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
because when she was a kid, she was never allowed to keep anything. My grandma would just decide to pitch it when she was sick of seeing /3
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
it. So now it's like my mom treasures everything. Even things not worth treasuring. She also shops a lot as entertainment which obviously /4
Lulabel73
There all different types too. Your mother’s house doesn’t look “filthy” just crowed. I’ve seen some filthy places. Good job
dummpaDay
Yeah, it's not really dirty, just extremely cluttered. Lots of spider bros though
Lulabel73
You’re doing a great job.
mickison
Glad she let you do that. They often don’t
dummpaDay
I've cleaned this house so many times it's not even funny. The things we do for family.
ATaxPayingAmerican
My moms the same. I fly home every Christmas & spend my vacation cleaning the house. I know it gets frustrating. Good job & keep ur head up!
pr0nty
Is she getting treatment? Because you'll be doing it for the rest of her life if she isn't.
Ilyiia
As someone who's mom does/got the same. Mad respect you are awesome
dummpaDay
Thanks I'm trying to be a good son. She doesn't have much of a support system, and I wasn't the best child. Mental disease is a fickle bitch
Ilyiia
It is, but you are doing the best you can to help now and it'll probably be a big support even though they often don't show it