EnduserisaJerk
31295
829
12
Jan 22, 2026 5:07 PM
EnduserisaJerk
31295
829
12
ForrestDwellingDonkey
I have a massive dick so obviously I choose to have a bigger dick
Lycanthian
I'm amab and I'm nonbinary, spent my whole life not really feeling at home with a prescribed gender of male so naturally...my choice would be a bigger dick
koitk
I unfortunately was born with a huge dick so i'd go with even bigger dick.
MissPhoenix56
Well, see I’m a trans woman, so I my particular case I think it’d be obvious that I’d choose a bigger dick.
FarceMajeure
I got a small dick, but I'd still like to upgrade my brain to do the shit I want it to do instead of fighting me on shit like focusing on a singular task
Starbolt81
Well my lower back has been fucked for 10+ years so I'd take an upgrade. Plus my dick is big enough already ;8)
Zioxyl
I was informed that its not about the size. Whats all this about bigger dick?
EricPisch
I make women vomit so a bigger dick would be pointless
AgamemnonsMemes
Well my brain has been broken since i was a kid so.. that'd be nice.
Swordguy
A brain smart enough to understand how to upgrade all the other organs in my body.
HogulusPrime
I, too, choose this deaf man's larger dick.
zalagzny422
With my new and improved brain, I would create a chemical compound that gave me a bigger dick.
Noahbalboa82
My nose. It's not very sensitive to smells. Like I can smell stuff, just not as strongly as others and I can't really decipher different smells as well. I can smell about 6 different candles at Bath and Body works till my nose throws in the towel and stops working. It is a blessing sometimes. I can clean up puke no issue, farts aren't too bad most of the time
firni
Upgrade my brain so I can evolve like Lucy.
bittenicht39
This. Telekinesis would be an awesome feature. I would settle for understanding and speaking all languages, and enjoy my new job at the United Nations.
TheAnswerIsViolence
Skin. Photosynthesis.
bittenicht39
Since photosynthesis generates glucose and oxygen, you now have an unlimited amount of sugar produced by your own body. Congratulations on the maximum diabetes.
michaelozz62
Knowing what women really like, I won't ask for a bigger dick... but I would ask for a replacement kidney...to supplement the one I lost to cancer
Becker37
Brain. Maybe it'll function
trumpypumpyinyourrumpy
My brain, which lives in my dick
TexxasTerror
I'd upgrade my heart to one of a world class endurance athlete, cuz that's what empowers my adequately sized schwanz
GeneralNoise
Ill upgrade my male anatomy for female anatomy
EggFooYung
A brain that can comprehend higher maths like algebra and calculus.
DebraBaronelemonchicken
reminds of that mexican man that put weights on his penis to enlarge it. all it did was stretch the skin.he cant have sex.he tried to be put on guiness book of records for the biggest penis.they had an xray & said nope. its all skin. doctors told him theyll give him free surgery but he dont want it. he rather act like he has the biggest penis.he cant have sex . im sure many men will wish for penis so big they cant use it.
FaeVikingPrincess
As someone with neurodevelopmental disabilities I struggle a lot in life because of this. So my decision is just as easy. Bigger boobs please.
Sheari
As a person well endowed in that area: no, no you do not. Having your back and shoulders fucked up constantly is not worth it. Never able to find a good bra isn't worth it. Please believe me when I say this: nothing bigger than a C or a D is worth it
Teddopolis
Titanium spine then
FaeVikingPrincess
My back and shoulders are already hurting constantly. And I already have some decent sized boobs but I still want to go a bit bigger.
cosonfused
I've got this dermatologic problem, and since skin is literally the biggest organ one has, I'm going to upgrade that. It also means I get a bigger dick.
boevis
Young men, hear me: "most pleasurable shape, that stays hard until I want it to not be"
D3pleted
Nah, bigger dick wins.
munchys225
Man it’s been so long I guess I just completely forgot the lyrics to ymca.
prosper020
Jenvas
like a thick round snickers
frozenlake247
So what I’m hearing is that the proper answer to the original question isn’t “bigger dick” it’s “customizable and consciously controllable dick”.
FiveShiftOne
The ol' prehensile dick trick
ih8clickb8
The ol’ dick trick!
tinydog
What IS the most pleasurable shape?
yamsonyamsonyams
A cucumber covered in lumps?
DreadPirateJaceMangrove
I have a few ideas, based off of what I've seen from Bad Dragon
adamlstf9
Big.
gablestout
BeaverOnFire
Wasnbo
And where do you put it? That's right, in the square hole!
Tobecontinued1992
Wavey, like a flamberge, with nubs to make it textured. The problem is theyre going to assume youre diseased, a mutant or an alien with a schmeatus like that.
boevis
Nebulous, all women are different, so you'll need to be a shapeshifter
profloyo
This needs to be activated ability or walking in a populated area would get weird
ChikaChickaBowWow
There not THAT different. Prefs differ but it’s the same concept in general.
CJAW
ChikaChickaBowWow
That’s a Plumbus. It’s a perfectly common tool in every household and has nothing to do with the shape of a penis.
nullbr
probably have pincers
frischcode
I want a nice top... with a bigger dick.
CitrusyGarlic
How you doin'?
sombradeamigo1742
Which hole is the Citrusy?
CitrusyGarlic
Citrus-y is a smell or flavor pertaining to citrus.
The Citrussy is what's left over after you've fucked a warm grapefruit
jobe
It's the sourpuss
frischcode
🥺👉👈 Just manifesting a hot Valentines
CitrusyGarlic
Maybe, do you happen to live anywhere near Atlanta?
frischcode
Yes! OTP. 85 and Jimmy Carter area. My primary and I are selective.
CitrusyGarlic
DM me?
WoodfolkFae
Magic is happening here.
Ehvilmonkey
But why people want bigger Dick? What good it does for you. No-one have never said me that they wont have sex with me because i dont have big enough Dick
Someshithead241
So what's their usual reason?
gablestout
BishlamekGurpgork
Status symbol. Porn standards. Teenage ideas about sex.
From all that, it becomes a joke. In this case, though, I think it was just a joke that was self-aware about how unreasonable it is.
BishlamekGurpgork
Also known as,
BlueIceDragon
I'm diabetic... so obviously I'd choose a bigger dick
BeaverOnFire
BananaForScaIe
I'm autistic so, of course, I'd choose to have my big get dicker by 3.14".
frischcode
... in your body? Me too!
myscaleisntaccurate
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get the biceps I want. So yeah, I’ll take a bigger dick.
awkungen42
To get the biceps you want, do a fuck load of triceps that make your arm as a whole look bigger.
creegro
Length or girth wise?
Sweezy5651
awkungen42
Oof, as a type 1, I would say for certain that I'd choose a functional massive dong.
IHateAlternativeRock
Diabetic too, so working pancreas. Already have a decent dick.
NecroNikolai13
I'd accept a smaller dick if it meant my feet weren't frequently feeling on fire or being stabbed. I too vote for pancreas.
7thor8thcaw
Lucky.
thatwoodguy
I'm a diabetic but I still have a partially working pancreas so at least by insulin needs or not that big
Targe0
I've got a big dick... So naturally I would choose a better heart, so I don't get light-headed all the time. /s
CloseupCaptionReaction
Why no choose a bigger head, if you get light headed
dingleberrysauce
He already said he got a big dick
13andido
So, not an even bigger dick?
Targe0
A bigger dick is pointless if it can not be used.
13andido
The point is what you can use at the very least…
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
DO NOT ASK A DJINNI FOR A BIGGER DICK. They are tricksters and could give you one 100 feet long, you'd die of blood loss at next erection.
PicassoCT
Do not feed the snek
areyouelonmusk
But he's real fucking hungry
zerogenix
theres an x-files episode for that
Marsupialmessiah
Or cut your legs so it reahes the floor
kaneinencanto
Or you'd have a new boyfriend in your life, even if you're a guy...
Dimension09
I just got a 7 inch pianist
Scrungusamongus
What you don't expect is a 100 foot tall Richard Nixon
JestersWing
I complained to my doctor that every time I got an erection, I got light headed and eventual would pass out. The next day my wife was always super happy. We've had 8 kids despite only trying for 2.
Doctor said he'd give me something to help with blood flow, so he put me on Girth Control.
darthsatoris
Or you could become the star of a Danish children's TV show.
John Dillermand: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A51mJjFyG_w
myotteraccount
Oh so that's what happened in that post from elbow a couple days ago
BlindGardener
Earth worm Jim “Queen slug for a butt”
gablestout
areyouelonmusk
You say this like it's a bad thing
nitemayr
There was a porno in the 80s/90s where that was a thing, the guy had a comically large member and when he got excited, he passed out.
thekeyofe
"Call the neighbors. I want them to see this."
Yakeshinu
BeaverOnFire
frosss
"you guys got a wheelbarrow in here? Maybe a grocery cart... anything with wheels."
Felberin
Alternatively that's what got US to where it is today.
TheMightyMollusk
Not according to Stormy Daniels.
Felberin
Not the organ, but whole man, who is to put it nicely "Bit of a dick"-