ManleyStanley
111291
1232
128
Jul 21, 2016 11:26 AM
ManleyStanley
111291
1232
128
25schmeckles
Is it just me or are these horribly depressing?
JamesAHarrod
As a husband... I agree
ArthurRatcliffe
Difference between wife and gf? 45 pounds. Difference between husband and BF? 45 minutes
IamSlinker
(Can't think of good comment because it's not my turn to use the brain)
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
I wonder if we could have some same-sex marriage tweets.
TheStaffmaster
My wife says she "needs to do X, with my help." TRANSLATION: "YOU need to do X, So I don't have to."
hathorlover
My husband has informed me that I fold socks wrong
Toxicempanada
As someone who's going to be married in 6 months, this shit was hilarious. Especially the chicken nuggets one.
bakingPretzels
One time, i slapped my gf across the face cause a mosquito landed on her cheek
ThatsPermanent
Favorited to show to wife
Gamemeister83
These sum up marriage to a T.
avalani
Fun fact: boyfriend I'm probably going to marry used "forever alone?" as a pick up line when we met and I was sitting alone at the bar.
Wordgirl
As a wife, these tweets reminded me of several fights we had in similar scenarios. IRL, they're not as funny. Lots of yelling involved.
Toasterpops
They're only funny with the passage of time
cocunt
Guys I really need to use the man brain for my date this weekend. Fri 8 pm work for everyone?
tankdog420
JuicyJoose
I'm hoping he means to "find a way to cheat" as a way to be successful at the "game" of marriage.
Rozasharon
Get potatoes.
poorwhitetrash
Marriage was the best thing ever for me.Now I know when to wash my hands, brush my teeth, shower, go to bed, clean my room,cut the grass...
wademcgillis
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face.
SpeakingAsTheDevilsAdvocate
Marriage is a perfect place
threepwood007
Sick reference
Acefowl
I take Nice Eric to the next level: Replace animal names with equivalent Pokémon names.
Thehaff
Always want to see the other versions of these, with the women talking about their husbands.
momemes
un uh, I like laughing at work, not crying
squidbastard
So phone chargers a like putting fingers in butts eh?
curiousfoolish
Marriage isn't a surprise, it's a bummer that so many people regret something they chose. Like college.
napu89
Thank you! I hate hearing gripes about something people knew getting into it
Theonewholaughsinappropriately
I've taught my long time bf to wash his blanket at least once a year, how to celebrate holidays, and to be nice to people sometimes
lyricallove
I like to think I taught my wife to be more aware of social boundaries.
AZV4th
At least once a year? Sounds like my cousin. He hadn't washed his sheet since he got it, and he had forgotten how long that was.
AZV4th
He didn't seem to get why I was changing it out every two weeks, even after explaining in multiple ways why it's needed (messy room, too).
Theonewholaughsinappropriately
We have a lot of animals and I like to change out bedding once a week because it gets covered in fur. His started to smell.
XiroInfinity
Wait there are couples who DON'T use different laptops?
MuayThaiKitty
I have a laptop and my SO has a PC. We both use the laptop for a lot of stuff, I don't mind though because I get to play PC games too
XiroInfinity
Not quite the point dood.
GrandHofTarkin
Ikr? There are only a few things my husband and I do not have our own of, and we are very happy.
justyouraverageaussiegirl
ecnelisz
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lib6lzkIJ21qcnhhzo1_r1_500.gif
OneIsGladToBeOfService
KingMidas123
I shall Join you in that boat.
PolarChi
I have my screen dimmed and I thought.she was stabbing herself
Blykul
darkhavana0512
Godsoftheodds
For every cutesy thing highlighted here, there's an equally infuriating thing they never tell you about. Alone isn't always a bad choice.
LearningToMakeLemonade
When a choice it is...
futureman3000
There are some nice things about being alone, but adulthood can be a lonely place, and it wears on you after a while.
roomsofthehouse
IMO that's why dating>marriage. Same amount of love/commitment & responsibility, just with no paperwork legally binding y'all
roomsofthehouse
You can still live together, have kids, do everything married people do. It's also easier to break up and less expensive w/o the ceremony
thatsnotflyingitsfallingwithstyle
I'd husband this guy some more, not leave him
BANANAFLAKE
My wife says stuff like this all the time. We actually grow closer together.
GinjahIce
Yeah, I'd husband the shit outta him
cazo
This one never fails!
BloodiDodi
That one made me laugh so hard I cried.
kayakninjas
It's just what you say, though. Like when I tell my friends a pun and they say "Shut the fuck up" instead of telling me how awesome I am.
odderOtter
That's my way of saying it's funny. But, I'm also an asshole.
Wordgirl
I'd find it funny only if he's bringing the mugs back in and the kids aren't going to copy this everyday because daddy did it first.
HydraNova
I totally agree
ImTheButtman
such wisdom most certainly has come from experience
IHaveThePerfectPuzzleForYou
I can't make any promises.
thejustfinegatsby
As a wife, most of this is accurate. Also, no you can't move my charger because you've lost 2 already and this is the last one we own.
IShootBirdsAtTheAirport
As a husband, I'm sorry I don't know why we keep losing your chargers.
Chareesa1
Agreed. Thank you. My husband loses his own shoes almost daily.
mikeyunderscored
Reversed roles over here. She keeps breaking and losing her chargers and headphones... :P
TheLadyMcArthurs
We have the same issue at my house. I have never once lost or broker a charger yet we went from 6 to 2 in
Therearetoomanyusernames
THANK YOU!!! I swear, I read that one then read it out loud to my husband and told him it's because he always breaks him. Why break mine too
RedSheikah
My husband is also the loser of things. You name it, he's lost at least one
RebelPotato
My husband loses things and also misplaces things frequently: "WHERE IS MY (ITEM) I JUST HAD IT A SECOND AGO oh here it is." Never ends.
RedSheikah
Same. Sometimes I make him search and tell him if he's getting colder or warmer
AZV4th
If I ever marry this'll be me with my phone (as it already is), and nothing else. Never more than 5 feet, but takes forever to find.
thejustfinegatsby
We've equipped ourselves with Tiles - it's quite the nifty little device that will beep to tell you where your keys are. Marriage saver
RedSheikah
Smart! But mine refuses to use it :P
Therearetoomanyusernames
My husband is the SAME way. There's something to help us with a problem we have. "No, it's too much of a hassle for me." Really???
RedSheikah
I know! Too much ego to solve this simple problem he has every single morning!
XiroInfinity
Your wedding ring.
RedSheikah
He lost the engagement ring and almost proposed without one, and he's lost his own wedding ring. Hasn't lost mine yet
thejustfinegatsby
My husband lost his wedding ring, and it was miraculously returned to him. He later lost it in the ocean. And it stayed lost.
RedSheikah
Aight, since someone called me ungrateful. He found the engagement ring, so he did propose with one. If he didn't have one, I still would...
RedSheikah
...have said yes. It was an issue because he has anxiety and not having a ring to propose with made him even more anxious than usual
XiroInfinity
Who called you ungrateful? >:0