TwoWords12
335478
7388
93
Jan 30, 2017 10:44 AM
TwoWords12
335478
7388
93
vwyx
"- of chloroform, ether, or nitrous oxide." Thanks, Blakiston's Illustrated Pocket Medical Dictionary, but I'm not Bill Cosby.
TheInfectousOutbreak
XD
GuardsmanMiku
"Argilac the Arrogant had named her 'the Yellow Toad of Dorne'"
CardioVascular
hahahaha
revcleo
A small pile of jars of pickles, where Johnny had carefully stacked them last night.
OfficialLemon
'Carl looked down and saw that he'd stepped in blood. "Aw shit." '
Woodmn
@OfficialLemon "Fuck, I killed another prostitute. That's the third this week."
GlacialFlour
"Then he stood, reached out with the tapered fingers of a pianist, and caressed the tombstone with too much intimacy."
WolfcubEllie
What the fuck are you reading?! +1
coloredgreyscale
It sounded great ... until the tombstone.
OfMiceAndMenus
INB4: Tombstone is a metaphor for a pitched crotch tent
aoutaoutaout
Neil Gaiman?
GlacialFlour
Well, shit.
BestOfMenMustDie
what the fuck book is this?
WoozleFish
Gone for Good; but it's from the middle of page 47. Someone's bad at following instructions...
ImDefinitelyNotNSA
"Customize your lamps!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
MisterWho
I love lamp.
thatmangodude
So is this a euphamism?
Donatello34
I can't stop laughing
CardioVascular
I don't ever do this... but your comment made me actually laugh out loud.
PotentiallyHumorous
Bro I'm dead XD
porkofadifferentkindofpork
It's just a full page watercolour picture of the aftermath of a civil war-era battle
nathansonic
Civil war is a euphemism for masturbation btw
BestOfMenMustDie
Perfect
DongSayaDae
So your love life will bring about a civil war.
porkofadifferentkindofpork
All I know is it's going to involve many people, and get very messy. Or else it's dead, like the dozens of corpses strewn across the page...
FabulousOtters
That's amazing.
Kidsplayingwithawoodenduck
show us the picture!
justanotheryoungstermother
He noticed her standing in the dark, starring at him. So stalking it is!
Froggy799
"We can be friends ... I mean, if you want. It'd be no big deal."
madamoizillion
Is that Bridge to Terrabithia?
TheMentelgen
Page 45 was a chapter divide and blank. Wow.
Tredecim
Brutal
Catimodes
Your life is empty. Intentionally left empty.
UnicornOnTop
"And whatever belonged to my father now belongs to me." ........ahem.......mkay
Yitshaq
Nice.gif
TwoWords12
Well, I'm interested to see what ur love life is
redshadow1000
"So, it's to the death, both of you." I can't tell if that's good or bad but it sound like a shotgun wedding to me.
ImThatGuyForSure
"When I was 10 years old, my father, against his better judgement, volunteered to coach my little league team."
TwoWords12
Well, I'm interested to see what ur love life is
DarkUranium
Better than mine for sure: "Why did we do that?"
UnicornOnTop
I thought I knew, but I guess I need to talk to my mom? I'll keep you posted
OfMiceAndMenus
Oedipus much?
Tsunako
Oedipus Rex everything!
UnicornOnTop
I'm just doing what the book says!
CaptainCapitalAndHisPunctuationPals
You gonna be with your mother, Oedipus.
UnicornOnTop
Yeah, I'm not super stoked about it, but if page 45 says it's what I have to do then I guess it's what I'm doing
BernieMittens
Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.
[deleted]
[deleted]
BernieMittens
The whole collection !!
TheBeastoftheBrood
"Prepare for reentry turbulance."
TheInfectousOutbreak
OMFG XD
itzJasonOP
Eyyyyy
LemmiwinksKingofGerbils
Lmao
biggieshortiebutwhiteandold
you single?
HotChickenHero
"Preparing for training with my new teammates and coaches was exciting, and a little awkward."
IseeallofthesepeoplewithlongusernamesandIdecidedtotryitout
Sounds like an orgy
pelusita35
Well he is a hot chicken hero.
TCGView
"Prepare thy anus!" I'm not looking forward to today.
crispygrapes
The fuck is this from?!
TCGView
Shakespeare.
crispygrapes
Classy!
crispygrapes
Also, of course.
etsi
"The hostages placed themselves against the wall."
etsi
-100 Days in Photographs by Nick Yapp
pelusita35
Either that or: A Brief History of New iphone Release Euphoria
ojisama
"Irritated by the triteness of this sentiment, Kanu snapped shut the book." Such meta, wow.
blahtotheblahblah
DragoSani
Vin tried to back away further, but realised she was up against another crowd of people
A1pha646
M-I-S-T-B-O-R-N !
ScrewUTube
That seems a little rapey, just saying
TheNurturer
Mistborn is such a great series!! If you haven't yet, you should read the Stormlight Archive!
PottermyPuppetpals
Yes! Mine was from Elantris.
Cowchips
MISTBORN! omg omg. Nearly done reading the third book, just got Alloy of Law on kindle. I can't put it down.
CptnRayHolt
I found Alloy of Law really disappointing after finishing Mistborn :( not sure why, wasnt my jam.
Cowchips
Just finished the 3rd book. I've never been cut this deep by a paperback T.T
CardioVascular
Me too, it didn't have the same hopes.
Ewanator
For the reaction: B + C + D -> E + F, the rate equation is: rate = k [B]^2 [D].
WhiteTexan
you slut
DrSuperStrange
You found the secret formula to love.
AnOtterBrickInTheWall
Mine is: "Already in small doses, hormones are very potent"
SlowReflexes
Lol concentration of C doesn't matter. Sucks to suck chemical C
absbaps
Moist +1
michonnedisapproves
You ditty bastard
nightrein
Ah, textbooks. "Swift's array structure provides many methods for getting information from an array instance."
SixFeetShort
Found the chem student!
Zelliana
That's the kinetic of love's chemistry reaction ! Haha
Megalith
Chemists represent! :D
littlesquishablecake
Kinky!
FaceyMcCuntfart
Hey I'm looking at a chemistry book as well!
FartyMcDumpstein
Let's use our knowledge of the Big Oh to simplify things.
cortezdakillah
"My chemical romance"
Ewanator
When the reply completely one ups the comment. +1 to you sir/madam.
Lennyfication
You son of a bitch +1
SpecialContainmentProcedures
"Eligibility Standard- No person is eligible to hold a certificate, rating, or authorization issued under this part when the Transport..."
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Really not sure how to interpret that.
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Security Administration (TSA) has notified the FAA in writing that the person poses a security threat."
UpsetFace
14 CFR 61.18 - Security disqualification. Neat.
jedinite30
"here it is,captain," said Chakotay, and a faint image appeared on the viewscreen, barely discernible among the stars.
alsoAzrael
Don't worry, it's not the size that counts.
aintgottimeforyou
Canon or fan fic?
jedinite30
It is from Star Trek Voyager book Pathways
wraithguard
"The capacitor may be characterized by q, the magnitude of the charge on either conductor (shown in Fig. 3.4A), and by V, the positive (1)
wraithguard
potential difference between them."
hootimcowlface
Electronic engineering text?
wraithguard
Handbook of Modern Sensors...
hootimcowlface
Cool, I love electronics
hootimcowlface
'Four Chinese J-9 Interceptors blasted across the sky in pursuit of the Halicarnassus, screaming low over the desert'
LemmiwinksKingofGerbils
Well screaming is good
hootimcowlface
Yeah, I can't argue with that
fosterthefoals
What book is that from?
OfMiceAndMenus
The Six Sacred Stones by Matthew Riley. Interestingly, the J-9 series never went into production.
hootimcowlface
Yep, Matthew Reilly it is.
BlastedSand
"Following an afternoon dogfight II Gruppe reported the destruction of two Curtiss P-36's which fell to FW Czikowsky and Uffz."
elvianempire
WW2 fighter reports, german side?
BlastedSand
Essentially, yes. From a series of books detailing the day-to-day operations of Jagdgeschwader 53 throughout the war.
elvianempire
WW2 fighter reports, german side?
smellysmellsforyoureyeballs
I don't have any books near me, I guess this explains my love life perfectly!
iamthisguy247
Are there no lonely singles in your area?
AustraliansOpinion
mine said warning
BenadrylCumpetstink
Hot local books in your area want to chat!
thingy237
The nearest book is less then 45 pages, it ends too early, that explains my love life pretty well.
cheeseguy3412
"Kaladin's stomach growled as he reached through the bars to accept his bowl of slop" ... well alright then.
OfficialJoeBiden
Dude you're fucking lucky
TACOARMYWILLRISEANDGETYOURASSKICKED
I have books near me but I'm too lazy to get up and grab one, so that might explain my love life too
DongSayaDae
Good, because its not good to kidnap people.
SomeGuyInNorthCarolina
Mine was a lego instruction booklet...
Brickule
We have the same love life.
AaronOnTheRocks
It says nearest I think your lack of effort explains your love life best.
UncleCeiling
Nearest book to me is a tool catalog. I feel your pain.
FlynyrdSkynyrd
What book is that from?
BroboxylicAcid
The Onion: Our Dumb World. The 45th page legit has no text. FML.
qget
So share an image of the image. If it's a white feed you will love this porn here https://www.facebook.com/WhiteFeed/
Qualios
sounds easy to fix then!
FriendlyGuyInWindowlessVan
Same.
Snapist
The nearest book to me is a maths textbook. I don't know what that says.
Snapist
"Find the exact distance between each pair of points."
DRockefeller
Better than being on the toilet with one of those bathroom readers: "And, because of the explosives, the smell was worse than before."
SaintLuciferVonAllah
I've got Lovecraft...I'm a bit scared.
OOIOxOOIxIOIOxIOIxSxIOIIxIIIxOOI
Do it.
SaintLuciferVonAllah
''Cthulhu lays dreaming of pink fluffy unicorns" waaait a minute...
OOIOxOOIxIOIOxIOIxSxIOIIxIIIxOOI
Bag of bones: "I went to the study, sat down at the computer and turned it on."
SaintLuciferVonAllah
Life imitates fiction...or was it the other way around?
TwoWords12
I'll be your friend
Fireork
Nice guy OP right here
TheMostUnexpectedUsername
I'll help you carry on...
realGeorgelucas
The nearest book to me is an Argos catalogue
realGeorgelucas
for those wondering "Premium 4 Burner gas BBQ with side burner only €269.99"
Icanalreadytelliwillbepopular
I'm in a similar boat. The book closest to me didn’t have any sentences on page 45.
Jimthebutler
I can be your lover said the 240 pound man
smellysmellsforyoureyeballs
Tobi239
"Bring it on!" - said another 240 pound man.
Jimthebutler
Lolololol
Dawnstempest
From the producers who brought you "Silence of the Lambs" comes "The Fucking of the Whales".
dekket
I have books near me, but none have as many as 45 pages. (There are children's books near me)
pelusita35
I hope you have children...
dekket
Perhaps
smellysmellsforyoureyeballs
Stack a few together till u get that many pages? Lol
TwoWords12
Do u need a friend
dekket
A special friend.
TwoWords12
Your my special friend
dekket
*you're
TwoWords12
Dude thank u, u have fixed my will to live, u have solved world hunger, and most of all you must be a genius
insinghnificant
A friend with benefit...no strings attached?
MisterWho
That would be beneficial.
Shineupordown
You always try ?
LadyMoto
SovereignPhantasmia
¿dafuq book is this ?
GingerLaird
Someone is gonna have some fun. :D
pelusita35
Janet Evanovich? Stephanie Plum?
LadyMoto
Yes!
pelusita35
I've read all her Plum series and listened to them on audible. My husband hates when I do gramma mazur's voice. Heh heh.
LadyMoto
My grandmother gave me the first book, funny part is, she reminds me of grandma Mazur. Lots of spunk!
pelusita35
Awesome, huh????
cpcgamer
お前はもう死んでいる. Well hell.
seakira
北斗？
cpcgamer
とても いい です よ
OfMiceAndMenus
たぶん。。。
jazzy663
"You are already dead." A Jojo quote iirc
Tobi239
Oh yes, i remember when goku said that in jojo part 5, it was the godzilla fight i believe.
notrollnoparty1
That's my problem. I don't usually read books in English. Sorry, @OP
cpcgamer
It's even better if you know what it means.
notrollnoparty1
Now you have to tell me.
cpcgamer
You are already dead.
notrollnoparty1
Well, I might be. But I wanna know what it says!!
catsrtasty
"What was that damn thing? And what did it want?"
pelusita35
IT WANTS THE D!!!!
FajitaPrinceofAllMexicans
https://youtu.be/FQyWAxcQXf8?t=166 Relevant
pelusita35
Ha!
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
ويرى أنّ المدافعين عن استعمال اللغة العربية ينطلقون من موافق وصفها ب"الأيدولوجية", عكس المدافعين عن العامية الذين ينطلقون من الأمر الواقع.
TheRealestLurker
So your love life will be quite explosive ;)
odraencoded
Can someone translate that to British Engish so I can understand what it says?
pelusita35
"You wot mate? I'll fuck you up, you insufferable cunt!" Or, regular: "they had a lovely lunch followed by a walk in the park" ;-)
yarngeek
Bravo. Thanks for the laugh.
FIrecharge44371
It believes that advocates the use of Arabic jumping from OK described as "ideological," Unlike defenders colloquial who spring from the
HowAreWeAliveIfWeAreMadeOutOfThingsThatAreDead
Sorry no, you can't enter the US. :(
harrymunster42
Muslims can, just depends where you're from. It's similar to the time Obama banned Iraqis from the US in 2011 #notevenamerican #prettyleft
HowAreWeAliveIfWeAreMadeOutOfThingsThatAreDead
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/018/467/1355331549061.jpg
CommanderWilliamTRiker
derka derka derka!
ibbaman11
Mohammed jihad?
BoredScroller
Probably my favorite movie. +1
MrSebu
Sooo... 72 virgins?
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
lol nope. Some passage from my textbook talking about supporters of formal or colloquial Arabic in public life.
GuardsmanMiku
Username doesn't check out
iamerror404
This made me laugh out loud. The only "book" near Cheetolini is an In Touch from 2004, not even a People because so much words.
DarkLordTrump
He is fake news.
iamthisguy247
Secret Muslim? All this time he had us concerned Obama was a secret Muslim, he was just deflecting?
sunyudai
Well, the Republicans have a strong history of projection...
imclarkkent
But up?
Ifichaseitimgonnafuckit
Username checks up.
imclarkkent
Don't chase me please. Or do chase me, I'll leave it for you to decide.
JaredKidd
1) It believes that advocates the use of Arabic jumping from OK described as "ideological," Unlike defenders colloquial who spring from the
JaredKidd
2) status quo.
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
1) Sorry, there was one typo. "مواقف" instead of "موافق." Here's the translation: "And he [Ahmed Reda Benshamsi] believes that the defenders
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
2) of the use of Arabic [referring to Fusha or formal Arabic] start from a position he describes as "ideological," unlike the defenders of
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
‘amiyeh [colloquial Arabic] who start from the reality [of the situation.]" Google translate is notoriously iffy when it comes to Arabic.
purplegundamdeathstar
من وين إنت؟ أنا من لبنان :)
DamnumAbsqueInjuria
My textbook pulled the passage straight from here: http://www.aljazeera.net/news/cultureandart/2010/7/13/جدل-العامية-والفصحى-بالمغرب