AGoodDayToBeAustralian
253629
6898
128
Feb 16, 2018 12:03 PM
AGoodDayToBeAustralian
253629
6898
128
weirdnorwegianguy
ohio311
Xenu touched my thetan on the peepee which has caused me to have e.d.
reluctantfr0ggy350
There aren't millions of them, Scientologists inflate their ranks. It is more likely around 50k members.
bravotipo
Exactly. And maybe even less.
itscayde6
circuspony
mds308
South Park taught me all I need to know.....About L. Ron Hubbard.
RootEnoch
Strongharbour432
The evolution of society my friend
TallLightnHandsome
This reads like a bad sci fi novel. Hubbard would be proud.
vapingvegancrossfitter
Did he ever get the AA batteries ?
pyrrhlis
He could just use his infinite imprisonment to dig around the forcefield. Then boom free eternal battery. That’s better than AA’s, right?
Dewseph
^ Asking the real questions
theshinobi23
Can we take a moment to appreciate @OP wrote the founder's name as LaFagette...
Druggybears
This!
wowthatwasquick
http://www.baconfrito.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/south-park.gif
hitlerdidonethingwrong
This is one of my favorite episodes
jherazob
"Tom Cruise still won't come out of the closet"
GlassCannon570
Thou canst kill that which doth not live, and you can’t sue that which is in extreme debt.
TittySprinklesNarratedByMorganFreeman5
well. i mean, you can sue the state if they fuck up so...
Ety43
Fukken Brutal
imtheimgur
I like that there were 2 thetans making out in the theater.
TheLegionofDoom
Almost like the whole thing was made up on the fly. "These bitches will buy anything"- Hubbard
vorodar
Seriously, though - there was a conference of sci-fi writers back in the day and they discussed how little they were being paid. Hubbard 1/2
vorodar
said something like "At this point, it's a religion is more profitable than writing". Scientology appeared a couple of years later. 2/2
SH0EB0X
It's pseudo-theosophy. If you look at who he was hanging out with, that statement makes a lot more sense. The guy was a con-man.
vorodar
TIL about Theosophy. Thanks!
LongtimeIMGURlurkertotallynotstalkerguy
BlueSpaceLizard
It is! You have to be *AT LEAST* a level 12 before you are privy to this.
PlusHooks
CMDRKrikos
Wouldn’t surprise me if most don’t actually believe but are afraid for their lives so they don’t speak up
lordbucket
Most don't know about it. Most scientology material doesn't talk about any of this. You might not discover it for years.
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
Fun fact, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer whose trapped in the closet
Sith4Sale
StreetKenny
I wanted to make a south park reference. But you made a better one
EvilMisantrophicPrincess
*Who's
Asadsadsadclown
Did you know that Scientology has its own navy full of indocronanted slaves?
DelicateMenstrualQueef
SEAORG!!!
IRateYourChristmasSelfies
The constant drip of drool from his mouth really makes it
captfeedback
blaaargh
potterdanger
The title made me £o£
BabyFarkMcGeeZax
I knew Xenu. Real jerk. He never paid for drugs. NOT ONCE.
rdement
Xenu? Total douche. Got all emo when my sister rejected him in high school.
zandreco
And he never paid for drugs......... Not once.
Gregthegrimreaper59
fuck glass cats
dablesthemighty
I think Xenu needs more blankets AND less blankets.
HaulinOats
Afraid you’re right
vorodar
Guy still owes me a fiver.
bs13690
Xenu's plan seems a little complex.
PocketVist
Yeaha i still dont understand hos this solved overpopulation why spirits was a physical thing... so many questions
Hardun
I'm more confused as to why they have a forcefield powered by an eternal battery...but he's in a mountain. What's the mountain for?
DragonDildoChandelier
You think he went a liiiiiittle too far with the nuclear volcanoes?
Fistouille
That's not even good sci-fi. It's like 5-year-old level sci-fi. Even worse than Robot Monster.
UltimaCaitSith
I've read one of his non-culty sci fi books. He genuinely writes like this.
stink3rbelle
Early sci-fi is pretty undeveloped stuff. Some of the earliest stuff (talking 1500s) is about people just exploring some weird caves n shit
DrunkenWeasel
It’s a direct DVD or Sci Fy original movie at best.
ForbinDallas
I mean.. it almost has to be intentionally bad, right? Like what the fuck?
TheFastpaws
I thought he did it all on a bet & then those around kept him drugged up to keep it all going.
pyrrhlis
Space taxes? FTL jetliners? Cinemas?
Corgibuttnubs
I just don't understand how you take something written by a KNOWN science fiction writer and say "Yup! I believe in this now!"
TheFastpaws
Those who want money preying on the lost.
Corgibuttnubs
All hail Cuthulu.
stimelstomo
True
BORGALOOGIE
ManMashine
this should have been Top comment.
Molotovbliss
chefguy
traveling 300 light years to kill sombody seems like overkill - where is the logic in that?
BklynPunisher
Nothing about religion is logical.
Isosyn
Maybe that's the only place he could set up the voodoo cinemas where there wouldn't be witnesses for any potential war-crime tribunal.
Paoloc0mments
That’s what you found illogical in the story??
VeganFeministFlatEarther
No I agree with him. The rest are plausible with suspension of disbelief, but there was no reason not to just kill them up front
BishlamekGurpgork
To be fair, scientology is one of those religions where they let you know more about what they believe as you 'level up' in tbe religion, so
stupidbrokenme
Sounds like an mlm incognito
BishlamekGurpgork
Not really; that would be selling someone stuff, and having them sell further down the line, with profits funneling to the top at every
BishlamekGurpgork
level. This is more oh just a scummy organization that doesn't even tell you what you stand for when you join.
BishlamekGurpgork
2) so not all scientologists believe, or are even aware of the full scope of this.
FwdSlashRoot
By that point people have dumped so much into it that loss aversion kicks in. The man had ideas on fucking your psychy.
BishlamekGurpgork
Loss aversion is one issue, but so is the indoctrination and brainwashing.
seentoomuchdeath
Hope this post survives their wrath. Am Watching the allegiance of the Imgur overlords
whatupmyknitters
i doubt any of the imgur overlords are scientologists. but i do expect them to cover their own asses when scientologists come knocking.
zechstyr
.
donkeymoney
The "low res 'The Gif' poster" guy was actually banned! So the stories are true...
EZMONEY98
The overlords are at the cinema with the thetans watching passion of the christ and listening to Iron Maiden number of the beast 666
ReplyingToTopCommentsIsHowIGetPeopleToReadMyComments
But...but...what if this is all true?
e4ter
This gif is over 10 years old. I remember watching it on ytmnd. Feel like it's safe.
spict
Yeah. It's just one of those you can just skip because it's not just a repost but also rather old. There are many.
AzizLiiiiiiiiiiight
The fact that humans can believe anything no matter how ridiculous and wholeheartedly defend it with disregard for reason is incredibly sad
ManMashine
You mean like believing in the good of Mankind?
Zyrin
At least that happened and is recorded in history...Still waiting to see people turn water into wine or walk on water
ManMashine
yeah. I getcha. My comment was actually just a sarcastic remark but man people always act like oversensitive pussies & just downvote in rage
DarthGibbon
Amen
Lollothe98
R'Amen
Lunux
I wouldn't be too shocked about if they didn't have such a harmful cult based on this. But I guess when you believe crazy it's inevitable
LordofSandvich
Mainly because they rarely believe what's actually true because it's harder to accept the truth than to bullshit something that sounds cool.
MostAwesomeAveragePerson
It's actually a social benefit. Showing belief in something ridiculous sends a strong signal that you are loyal to your clan.
AzizLiiiiiiiiiiight
Evolutionary tribalism was beneficial but the suspense of objectivity and critical thinking will ultimately be destructive through politics
MostAwesomeAveragePerson
No objection there. Although I'm optimistic that we're, on average, moving in the right direction.
hardradadada
this is theology and pop mixed up for slow minds. can you say that at their time, bogomil, mani etc did the same? no, you cannot. poor unde
hardradadada
rstanding of history makes this, makes nazi emulate romans, and some emulate nazi, today. mea culpa about english here.
youdontknowmylifebitch
7grims
no one needs jesus, fuck sake, such a bad thing to wish upon ppl.
MickeyMonstrous
That's exactly what Xenu WANTS you to think.
joeyGOATgruff
You won't confuse me Xenu! Back to your battery-powered cave prison!
jsktrogdor
The Bible is just as insane as Scientology. Their books are just filed in the Science-Fiction section instead of Historical-Fantasy.
thebluestthingsonearth
ThunderRunner19
https://imgur.com/QDMVAS7
AntRam95
Jesus is as real as xeno
ElPoloDiablo
Historical consensus is that Jesus as a person existed. We have more evidence for it than for many Greek philosophers
ElPoloDiablo
Now whether he was the son of God is another question, but he most likely existed
jsktrogdor
It's not really a question. We know.
downvotemetooblivionplease
I've no doubt that there was a homeless, schizophrenic man, who claimed he was the song of god back then. Not unbelievable.
fatgirlstakingdumps
Hold on one minute, sir! How dare you claim he was homeless? For all we know he had a very nice house(he was a carpenter after all)...
ElPoloDiablo
Or you know, a preacher like many that got martyred by his followers after his death. Very common in history for dead people to become icons
Mckenzullz
Found the neck beard
downvotemetooblivionplease
Oh? You came across a reflective surface? How wonderful.
DarthGibbon
Do you have any links regarding this please? I see people claiming this but others the opposite and both with varying amounts of evidence.
ElPoloDiablo
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/wiki/faq/religion#wiki_did_jesus_exist.3F should answer you better than I could
DarthGibbon
That's great. Thank's very much.
Lesbiansass
Cult
[deleted]
[deleted]
Mooki
What about Pastafarianism?
Webel
Halt and Catch fire <3
BreastInspector
As an ex-mormon who knew a ton (I don’t think mormons are a cult, btw) I thought... I bet it would be fun to do one on that religion.
DiabolicalStench
The only difference between a cult and a religion is that in religion the person you're following is dead.
Bamjam13
Joe Rogan
HypostaticUnion
Psych. There is literally a definition for it. This isn’t it.
DiabolicalStench
Really? Who would have thunk it.
spru93
Idk what churches you've been to, but I am encouraged to socialize with people outside my religion and can leave whenever I wish.
DiabolicalStench
GuyPrice
So it's a religion?
CuteThingsAreMyWeakness
They strong-armed the IRS into recognizing it as such, so, technically yeah.
DarthFutuza
Yes. Religion and cult basically are synonyms. Cult just has an added implication that makes it sound worse.
HitodamaKyrie
As much as any other one really.
CuteThingsAreMyWeakness
Yeah man, I recently left my baptist church, and they blackmailed all of my family members into cutting all contact with me. When 1/2
CuteThingsAreMyWeakness
my mom tried to contact me anyways, they sent her to do manual labor with no contact with the outside world for weeks. Oh wait. 2/2
iamthisguy247
That's not even good fiction really. But I guess Xenu what he was doing.
AvariceAeternna
If I remember correctly, I believe there's a recording of him telling it as a fictional story during a lecture long before it was religious
AvariceAeternna
Though I believe it's carefully shared so as to avoid getting shut down by the church
DragonDildoChandelier
80percentlegs
merelyadequategooglymoogly
It's almost as if he wanted to test the limits of gullibility.
Molotovbliss
ThatsDopeDick
My exact thought
RimJim
I’m guessing the actual story is a little more fleshed out. This sounds like deliberate paraphrasing to make it seem more ridiculous. I hope
CanPake
hadoeken
I thought the same about the stories in the Bible. Rambling, incoherent and irrelevant.
Sodium11
Just... have my upvote now before I regret it!
KingBoneJones
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MarshallLaw161
If you watch documentaries, it was fairly harmless when L. Ronn was alive, his successors are batshit crazy.
Gayforbae
I've read Supernatural/Scooby Doo/Sailor Moon gay BDSM mutilation slashfic that's better than this....
igivetheinternets
You ever read Hubbard? His scifi is not any better
colorfuel
Reality is not supposed to be „good“. Hubbard just wrote it like it is.
SansAandAnguS
Agreed. I read Battlefield Earth, took ages! The story's quite good but you could literally tear out the middle third and not miss anything.
IAmAnAdu1t
As if this isn't "his sci-fi"?
Zat01chi
Exactly what I was gunna say. His Sci fi is trash. Asimov and Heinlien are the kings of OG Sci fi.
igivetheinternets
My gotos when young were Heinlein and Zelazny
JHawke
Heinlein is insanely good. Asimov is awesome ideas-wise but he can only write about one character.. with different names in different times.
CrypticalEnvelopement
But the story of Jesus performing miracles and rising up from the dead is TOTALLY believable
iamthisguy247
I didn't say believable. Just bad fiction as in a crappy story
CrypticalEnvelopement
I didn't say you said it was believable, but plenty of people believe in the Bible while laughing at this for being ridiculous
iamthisguy247
Ok fair enough.
kuba913
Well Bible makes more sense than... this
BenSnow97
False. I'd suggest you to read it, starting with the Book of Revelation. Or check out the TL;DR: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/
RoxannaTroy
Yup. We all know that loading two of every animal onto a boat is not only realistic, but also the best way to repopulate the animal kingdom.
CrypticalEnvelopement
Does it though? One man loses superhuman strength because his hair is cut, another guy lives in the belly of a whale
Zoroasterisk
Leah Remini was in for most of her life, then got out, and now she's telling the world about how it is inside - https://youtu.be/AJ0-VeWMr-A
Kimst3k
Her book about it was really good.
HandsomeJackBlack
Her show is on Hulu. Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath
IAmAnAdu1t
This is a really REALLY good podcast and is WELL worth the time (First JRE podcast I ever watched, still the best, really batshit crazy!)
Odicium
⚫️
Ety43
.
StarlingsLaw
.
DragonDildoChandelier
Unfortunately it's only time before they silence her.
madjo
They already tried
ReJokeStatistics
They will try harder. Maybe with guns this time. "Random mugging"
Hardun
Detaiiiiiils
IAmAnAdu1t
Watch the above Joe Rogan podcast, she goes into great detail about the insanity behind the El Ruhn
IAmAnAdu1t
They threw up a hate site pretty quick about her as soon as she left the cult.
toofuckingbadimallergictocats
can a Scientologist on here confirm this?
503geek
Standleague.org
anominousbeef
It is forbidden
yerrface
They deny it. This comes from former members.
IWantedOneOfThoseLongUsernamesTooSoIGotOne
Actually it comes from official Scientology materials released as part of a lawsuit in the Netherlands. (They still deny it, though.)
SatoriEnlightenment
They tried to make me sign a contract for a million reincarnated lifetimes.
SatoriEnlightenment
(True story)
Kimst3k
This isn't revealed until they reach 8th level after years of study and 10s of thousands of dollars. Told they will actually die if they do.
FreddieMercurysChestHair
Yep, I was told growing up that there was info so "powerful" that it could literally make me go insane and die if i wasn't prepared.
FreddieMercurysChestHair
Most scientologists don't know any of this because they haven't gotten that far. This is confidential info, you have to work your way up.
GunArm
Most Scientologists would not have heard of any of this until they put in decades of service and money
PaulHavingABall
Why?
FreddieMercurysChestHair
It is so crazy and different from what they heard up to that point, that they have to be REALLY committed to it, or it will scare them away.
GunArm
Because it's modeled on mystery school/occult fraternity format where graduate through initiations your whole life and get more knowledge
GunArm
Like the freemasons or the Golden Dawn
HandsomeJackBlack
You're not allowed to know until you pass the tests and pay lots of money. Watch Leah Reminis show on Hulu if you got it
whycanttheygetgirlfriends
I am an excommunicated member of Hulu and I can confirm that it (Hulu) is also a cult.
503geek
I'm one, have been since 2000. These are not "beliefs" of the religion. It'd be like saying Muslims "believe" in terrorism.
batman23
Sorry for my ignorance but what do you believe?
everhaste
People ask for scientoligist to confirm, then downvote when one comments... Gotta love imgur!
FreddieMercurysChestHair
Lol right?
spru93
Because what was said makes no sense. Terrorism is a present day action. If the post is legit, these would be "historical" events.
everhaste
Fair enough, I figure most downvotes as soon as they said they were scientologist.