BladeWay
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My girlfriend which was very abusive toward me forced me to stop talking to my best friend and turn vegan so I told her to pack her thing and cooked myself a good old steak
Zer0reZ
I don't believe you!
mattjuvia13
fourkingbaker
lolthisismyusername
You let a girlfriend sway you to stop eating meat and cease communication with a friend? Dude.
Wilshaxspur
Needs more marbling. You were vegan too long. Too long.
ILiekToCookAndBake
So you left your girlfriend for meat? I always knew OP was a faggot.
SomeCrazyNerd
My first thought when I saw the thumbnail was it was a gay joke.
whatDidsh3say
You should have put a hole in it first. Went to town. 3 mins later cook to desired temperature .
GoodGraces
Hahahahahahahahaha!!
WhatAboutReefer
Is it for your black eye?
Natojenkins
no its for that gash between his legs where his balls used to be.
metalfoto
+1.
ADeerDanceInvitationToPeace
Good! Now post pictures of it cooked!
Arcman304
You made the right choice
Dontrespectmahauthoritah
Sure you did.
TheAngryBang
I used to like imgur. Now its as idiotic and preachy as that chive site we used to look at
iamthephantomlimb
Way to go. Lol, she only had one thing.
NordMan
I want to know what her thing was!
NachoPete
She tucked it in.
metalchild88
SeanieG94
Dumped your GF because you prefer meat.. sure
givemedownvotessoifeelterrible
Well yeah that's a pretty good reason
NextToNobody
To be fair, there is no way he could keep up the sex if he keeps eating meat so why not... erectile dysfunction and all
ClaudeWicked
I mean, if someone decided to make demands of you like cutting ties with your friends, and trying to enforce dietary changes? Fuck em.
MOTHERFUCKINGFLYINGSPAGHETTIMONSTER
Im pretty sure its because she tried to cut him off from his friends and force him into a lifestyle he didnt choose...
havetogod
This could just be a neck beard who never had a girlfriend trolling for internet points
ramenbrothersandsisters
Username supports your theory
justbeingjessica
I see you've already cooked it to perfection - good job @op and congrats on future single-sex!
TedTheMan
Found the extra not-a-vegan.
frogmanbunny
Nothing says cooked meal like uncooked steak.
madman81
It seems a bit undercooked.
3Hamswillkillhim
Bullshit, this hits imgur trigger points in all the right ways
DamageAxis
But... he didn't say crossfit.
ecotern
Preach
Derpshit
the steak looks delicious though . even if the story is bullshit . FP material in my book
L0rdM0M0
I'd like to be happy for OP for getting out of an abusive relationship but everything reeks of a lie that's extremely disrespectful to 1/2
L0rdM0M0
people who are actually in these kind of situations 2/2
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Honestly, for me, OP's story is more believable because it isn't 1000 words and set over multiple posts.
TheDogEnd
Imgur doesn't care if it's being manipulated as long as you touch its buttons softly, gently, and in a circular jerking motion.
anonj
"Why circu... oh! lol." -me, just now
SAUSAGEmcmuffinwithHASHbrowns
This one cracked me the fuck up.
dschuma
She only had one thing? What was it?
thehoesenone
no, she packed her thing with her things.
captainbender
oddfaceoscar
+1 all you need is a blow job air.
Thoraxe123
I don't think there will ever be a more appropriate use of this gif
klar971
gtothehizzle
thrillhaus
Perfect! +1
TrumpinmyRodham
I'm really proud of this meme usage
tatualysse
I second this statement
kilgoreissocoollike
I third this statement
starlette
Am vegetarian. Boyfriend went hunting. I baked him bacon cheddar muffins and brownies to snack on in the woods. We're not all horrible.
thelaaaaaw
By experience, vegetarians are usually cool. Vegans are the over religious of food, looking down upon sinners from their superior morals.
firesail
imgur likes circle jirking the whole militant veganism thing. I've seen dozens of these posts on the fb and user sub. Never veganism ones.
Kevincatalan
Agree, my now ex gf was vegetarian and was super relaxed about me eating meat. I supported her diet %100 in return. It was nice
Lilshadow48
Vegetarians are cool. Vegans are the ones the internet likes to rag on.
Lilshadow48
Explain something, get downvoted. Imgur is strange sometimes.
nesste
But you have a boyfriend....eww. :P
MyCatIsCalledWinston
same i get shit for vegetarian... idc if someone eats meat. radical vegans kinda spoil it for the rest of us
noprobllama
Good thing you left her. Staying together would have been a missed steak.
Kierbear2g
get out
allygator777
I hate you but I love you
SnickSnackPaddyWhack
That pun was a little crispy for me, I tend to enjoy the rarer ones.
iSwearIdidntShootBambisMom
If my family asks... a pun killed me. What a way to go
SiriusLeeBlack
Goddamn I had to come back just to upvote this because that was a fucking good pun
BipolarBat
Peppyfist
Literally
EliteReptilian
BRAVO!
stefanreckson
Great pun!! Well done, sir, well done...
stefanreckson
Ahh I see what you did there. Clever. "Well done." ...get jt? Well done... Hahab
GetSchwiftyIsAlreadyTaken
ShaggySnatch7
I "ribeye" your comment...im not very good at these things.
noprobllama
Yeah, that was not very...well done
Aprofilebyanyothername
A good pun is quite rare these days
noprobllama
I'd say they're only medium rare
Aprofilebyanyothername
It seems like the steaks have been raised. MEAT PUN WAR!
bigdog1983
Astrangeimageeveryday
Kierbear2g
get out
mattchew55b
You beautiful creature.
Stackhouse2
*golf clap*
inquisitivespaniards
*baseball stadium clap*
YouSufferWithCognitiveDissonance
adriano99
Come on, this is very good!
WuTangoReinhardtUnchained
It's ancient
rockbuster
Steak puns are a rare medium well done.
InappropriateGifReplier
Good for you but... Didn't eating meat ever come up during the courting process?
SherMattLockSmith
Probably knew she was a vegan, but as the relationship progressed she became more controlling and demanded he stop eating meat.
MistressLyda
Or he didn't care to begin with, and assumed he could live with it.
Dionysus187
Yep, she probably even said she was fine with it in the beginning.
CaptainLogopolis
Or maybe the post is fake
boredAFxInfinity
How does someone turn you into a vegan? Or make you stop talking to someone.
Cubber11
They are cunts!! lol
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
Ultimatums
nihilistdad
By withholding sex.
TomWebb10
You seen Cowspiracy or Earthlings?
InappropriateSexualComment
Wanna find out fuccckkkboooiii
doodybird
Manipulation.
TemporaryUzername
a.k.a- being a soft bitch
S3ns
Or in this case, womanipulation.
ficifpici
More like vagipulation.
Buzzdog1
By putting your cock in a chastity cage and slapping your balls and making you lick her butt while calling you her little chastity sissy boi
rectified
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
Thats...specific. Story time?
Darkspire
I think that was the whole story.
brianclementsvatua
Stop posting your dead pet.
rbudrick
Literally the post to the left of this right now.
kelevrah
Fuck, that one was great! Cow did you get that idea? +1!
BouncingCzechs
[deleted]
[deleted]
SteakBakeforPM
It's a reference to a post that's on the FP atm, someone's posted the image in a comment above yours :)
DontTazeMeBrah
http://imgur.com/PVa4Qwu man that totally went over my head
jamesinGa
Nothing like a slab of lab.
scottyboi1337
5/7
kofunstuff
balencedrago
Thats so meta
HenryDorsettCase
some shitty posts make great comments. thx for the laugh +1
AncientThotDeity
2forthemoney
Better then a dead g/f
jcalbuHero
GoodGraces
OMG. Best friggin comment! LMAO
ashmenon
They were good dogs, Bront.
stretchwinters
Meta
Lortuxim
dead girlfriend*
cserva
CannibalisticVegan
Well OP's not depress. So..
ndvx
HappyMadison
It's depressing.
GetOffMyLawnYa
It's a good post, Brain. 12/10
anonj
I agree, Tom's post wasn't bad.
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Bryan*
GetOffMyLawnYa
No. And I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy, ya' god damn Lock Ness Monster!
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
PandaBox
5/7
HeywouldJablowme
Shitty week to have to put my kitty down. I'll get my sympathy from Facebook i guess????
Footstepsofdawn
Oh no!!!! Poor kitty. ????
SonsOfMoog
Epic username
Footstepsofdawn
Thanks! Got it from Led Zeppelin. ;)
okillshutupnow
Later bitch time for beef
swinglinered
double entendre
TedTheMan
Can a steak keep you warm at night?
noxmeter
Yes and if you beat that meat it helps you sleep
GetMeAReubenSandwich
Yes, if you eat it before bed.
Sheepyhead
You don't want an honest answer to that
okillshutupnow
Blankets do that dude
TedTheMan
Not enough.
okillshutupnow
More blankets and central heating
chinesefingerhut
But what will warm your cold dead heart?
ShadowSquirrel
Will a steak deny you looking at and trying other steaks. You can always find another girl that's not vegan.
BigBurkhart
Knowing how skinny vegans are, she probably couldn't even keep herself warm at night.
dylf
Meat sweats, carnivorous flatulence and a thick blanket from Tijuana will keep you warmer than any heartless, vegan cunt. Steak on hombre!!!
TedTheMan
And bacon!
TedTheMan
ashmenon
Depending on how your body processes protein, yes, yes it can.
StalkerMagnet
This ticks off all the imgur boxes. A villainous woman, veganism, and super manly meat. See you on the front page.
[deleted]
[deleted]
StalkerMagnet
?
Justincredible
Don't forget bad grammar!
Synai
It ticks off all of the 'totally happened' boxes imo
Wookyns
OP's post is like ... Clickhole re: Imgur-bait. Or the 'American Voices' thing the Onion does. Absurd, concise, & it screams nonsense BS.
richardpleasums
I'm not so sure that old meat is good
NonnieNic
Is she easily triggered?
malfunctionm1ke
But.... there are no kittens here.
NotquiteThereyet00
Bro good for you!!! You did the right thing!
Vaanhalen
Get that faux feminist outrage outta here. Can be a villainous boss/parent/spouse/bf/gf/sibling/ex all equally FP material
yuyufan43
Women as villains is a thing people look for? Aw :(
StalkerMagnet
How can you not have noticed that the Imgur hivemind is pretty strongly anti-feminist?
yuyufan43
I've noticed but to actively look for a villain is rather sad. This community is typically nice and people that do that must be lonely
Deadpoolisfunny
HELL YEAH MAN! YOU EARNED THAT STEAK!
hangemhigh13
No cat tax. Downvoted. Rules are rules.
DeathBeUponYou
Hope you swept herout like this http://imgur.com/DVvPg20 Bloody Vegans! stop drinking water its a fish ouhse!
necroninja34
Why are the boxes angry?
Zombiechews
Feminist are vegan cos they don't like the D in their mouth
cbaggs32
Gotta love a perfect analysis. Well done.
LizardEnterprises
Not *all* the imgur boxes. Bernie Sanders didn't personally give him the steak while rescuing a puppy. Still enough to make FP though.
gingerbrdman
And I get accused of neckbeardiness. Check the username. It's literally got the "blade" in it!!!
Vaanhalen
Study it!
Nate3
We are men, manly men
VeganBae15
To think that u have to kill animals,cause global warming and get diabetes to be manly is kinda stupid lmao
ihatesociology
That's a brave username in these here parts. Upvote for you.
KaiserSkald
Good joke
bcmomma
Grammar much? "Which" was abusive? How about who? And which "thing" did she pack? Jeez...
tremonti
Upvoted for preserving the dead American english language (not capitalized on purpose, ya wildlings).
Vaanhalen
"Where?" "Why"? "When?"
chelicerat10
...oh piss off will ya.. ..
LlamaLingo
There's nothing manly about going to the store and buying meat.
StalkerMagnet
I agree. I was making fun of OP and of Imgur as a whole.
LlamaLingo
My bad.
hopefullythisworks
This screams imgur top comment. sympathises with the main subject. pats his back. lists the imgur codes of must compliance. well earned son
StalkerMagnet
I was actually mocking him but it doesn't seem like anyone noticed.
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
If @op was actually mocking such attitudes - apply appropriate net rule - are we then approaching maximum mockception?
MenaceToSobriety
It won't make it. Lacks a few boxes you didn't mention. Believability. Depth. Quality. Remotely likable protagonist.
TEDwisdom
Neither believability nor depth have ever been factors
MenaceToSobriety
Tons of posts get downvoted because they're bullshit and/or just don't sound real. I was wrong about this one.
flippywizgig
Yet here it is.
msu14hockey
I think those things you mention are true, but make it MORE likely for this to hit FP, not less.
maribl
oh you sweet summer child
MenaceToSobriety
Yes. I was wrong. I'd sooner admit it than hide behind [deleted].
TerraDactyl89
what about boobs?
Seollal
CATS! You forgot the cats :c
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
Plot twist...
FlyGamer69
And Tits
doogah
SpecimenSpiff
Are you just insane, or have you not visited the FP in a while?
MenaceToSobriety
Yes.
MenaceToSobriety
*Checks back in after making this comment an hour ago to find that this post has 256 upvotes... of course.*
Grootality
Probably cause all those things you listed are actually rare on fp... Hell even people fake being related to missing people for points...
OneShot510
And now over 2000
EricFromAccounts
Like that's EVER stopped a shitpost reaching FP.
MenaceToSobriety
The ones that break through are in the vast minority. I've spent enough time in UserSub to know the dark things that never make it.
SloppyJimbo
It's on fp
BladeWay
I am drunk, the aim of this is not to go to the front page but to feel less lonely bro
curioskill
I'm not your bro, guy
newworldtraveller
There's a lot of nice women that enjoy meat too. We should create a dating profile site. Meatpeoplemeetcom? What do you think?
DarthVaderVersusThePope
I think I want a steak... Medium-rare...
newworldtraveller
Do it!
MenaceToSobriety
Wasn't attacking, @BladeWay, just saying I don't see this on FP. "No likable protagonist" is because your story is one sentence. Nothing bad
FlyerChewy
Welp, I guess it made it to the FP.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
I think in this case, brevity was on OP's side. Imgur doesn't always require a 1000 word back story to believe a story and upvote.
JawaLol
He's drunk, so he's remotely likable.
HowDidTheyUnderstandR2D2
He's drunk, so he's immediately likeable to other drunks.... hes one of us....
Hidinginmyowncountry
Can confirm, drunk.
MenaceToSobriety
Yes, but this is newfound, apocryphal character development! It doesn't count towards the post!
JawaLol
It's an early access post!