WeirdAlisMySpiritUserName
73351
2146
62
Jul 28, 2024 3:39 PM
WeirdAlisMySpiritUserName
73351
2146
62
Wasnbo
Other "advice:" https://youtu.be/e_SugSxYSGk
malachilenomade
*Sigh* 30 years later and people still aren't using the Professor Kinison Technique.
GravyEducation
Where do I insert my gif
easytigger
Establish dominance by shouting at the clitoris.
ordaen
I like her birth marks
Eldibs
I don't highlight words on my phone with my tongue.
CheckFlop
I recently saw a "Don't Tell Comedy" show. Basically, you purchase a ticket knowing only the city or town it will be in. 8am day of the show you get an email with the location. The comics you won't know until you show up. Most are small time, some are big time. The fun is in the mystery of it all.
TheLesserOfTwoWeevils
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
Kisses always help
IMCloseToTheEdge
Normally I just use my tongue and the checkout is done very quickly.
bradmo
Her cycling videos are nice too.
AlterSack
I don't know your phone honey, but I just double tap that damn word to mark it.
Zestykitten
My ex would treat my button like it was a dry erase board and he was trying to erase permeant marker. I'd always tell him it hurt like hell but he insisted I liked it hard 🙄 I swear some men do it as malicious incompetence so they don't have to play with us and we'll just give them their turn and call it a day
flexstar
ttm2
two self-centred douche-bags bad at sex? No wai!
Zynthasius
stickywiggit
I once had a short-lived experience where the guy was rubbing my leg (yes, leg) like he was trying to start a fire. Rub rub rubrubrubrubRUBRUBRUB. I tried to give gentle tips, even took his hand and showed him how but he just really REALLY thought unpleasant, fast, aggressive rubbing on the outer thigh was the way to go and I was wrong. I was so happy it was over quickly.
MeowMachine12
Chirst, that's embarrassing. I would have stopped him then, and they're and be done lol
MeowMachine12
There* Autocorrect sucks sometimes
nachosyndicate
Girl is out here saving lives.
Magnivore
I'm confident with the skills and orgasms to back it up.
DarkwingDuc
Imgurians furiously taking notes...
bradmo
"I might use this information some day..."
MystikSpiral
MOLE!!! BLOODY MOLE!!! WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE BLOODY MOLE BUT THERE'S A BLOODY MOLE WINKING ME IN THE FACE!!!
mrsircaptainrich
I think that's called a birthmark. Moles stick out. But yeah I didn't hear a word she said. Kept thinking she had poop on her face.
crackerumustbtrippin3000
Why do you think she's funny? Comedy coping skills dont come cheap
Nerdypoo
And...?
memesis
Please put your produce in a bag for everyone’s protection
trigonman3
What if we're not using the produce for sexual purposes?
memesis
Then you're doing it wrong
trigonman3
[cries in nutrition class]
pak0chu
@OP you forget to credit. Her name is Chloe Radcliffe
Full set here : https://youtu.be/h9B_MVzMfQA?si=wx8-WGdjGZS2-aJ1
clipclopbipbop
She was excellent on a recent Pappy's beef brothers episode
jdore8
FabulouslyTiti
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhH1vJZQ34I&t=4s
trigonman3
OMG, trim those nails before insertion.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
To be fair, those self-checkouts are annoying AF. And I know how to use them, they're just annoying, by design.
SirButcher
The ones we have in the UK are a breeze. Scan, put down the stuff on the packing area with one firm movement, and scan the next one until you are done. Then pay, when confirmed pack and leave.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Good for you, liking them and all. They're not for me.
ttm2
same on the continent: the only time they complain is when scanning very light items (like hair-clips). And of course you need assistance when buying booze. But nine out of ten I can do shopping with no human interaction what so ever, it's awesome.
rabbihimself
Best advice I got was from Key & Peele: draw each letter of the alphabet with your tongue. When you she moans and grabs you by the ears, stick with that letter.
Plifplafpluff
Do I upvote or not at 26 votes? Dwmn it. Upvote it is
ThankYouForYourTime
I remember after a nearly painful attempt I tried to tell this guy I would teach him how to touch me and he got soooo offended
wlfman
Is there a sign up sheet for this class or...?
ChareAndFlaff
ThankYouForYourTime
So, so red. He definitely had ego issues and was into mind games and still tries to rematch with me on dating apps. Wtf!
ElbowDeepInAHeadlessHorseman
Did you run away? I hope you ran away.
ThankYouForYourTime
I certainly did! He was trying to play mind games too but lucky for me I recognized and squashed it (behold the silver lining of trauma).
trigonman3
Gentlemen, please utilize any opportunity to learn from your lady.
Plifplafpluff
Exactly. They know best
guyanesebro420
Yup. Every girl ive been with has been a different style to get them there. Aint nothing wrong with learning from them, nothing sexier than a woman entirely trusting you to get them there and that look lol
sweetandsmokey
I usually like to think of the guy for the first few times as a trainee .... if the guy is good learner ... he is a full time hire material.
SithElephant
I am annoyed I lost the link to the fic that I found that used the phrase 'hammering on her button like it was a Mario party mini game'
kaoticgirl
I had a bf that was so fucking good at getting me off and I am not kidding, his secret was years & years of Mario Party. Also, we always won at Mario Party so it was a 2fer
Lyconous
I know exactly the one! Princess Peach's Petrol Pump from Mario Party 13.2 Waluigi Edition
trigonman3
This is why I prefer to save locally.
stickywiggit
PSA to all humans: the button does not like to be hammered on for the same reason balls don't like being slapped. That shit is SENSITIVE.
ElbowDeep
So... Flick it aggressively, understood!
SithElephant
Ask the owner as always. Some like things others hate, at different times.
Gremlynn4023
But if you haven't communicated specifics yet, better to start off underperforming than hurting.
Johwin
Different strokes for different folks
NeoDarkElf
From*
Jbelkin
It's a Blackberry?
morphix13
It's a ThinkPad with the little mouse nub
WeirdAlisMySpiritUserName
Mine has the mouse where you take out the rubber ball and blow in it.
maincarrot
I put that ball on my leg and rolled it around and chucked it at my brother because he was a being a fuckin dick. And then I'd pick up, pull off like 3 strands of my sister's hair, because our entire house was carpet. Then id use some isopropyl alcohol on a q-tip, and rub down the wheels and get all that wrist sweat and funk off, theeeeeeeeen I'd put the ball in, then take it out and play with it, and put it back, and take it out and bring it to school with me so my brother didnt use my computer
DinosaursCameFromSpace
I usually get told there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area
ButteryBiscuitBass
Best comment.
ivoryman50
banging area*
Heisanevilgenius
I just can't figure out the code for bananas
thatauzzieguy
Same for me. Except I get that error message on the dating app not during foreplay.
farfie
That only happens when you hit it from behind.
steelundecided
Sir please remove your junk from the belt....Sir...
morphis
RichardNunez
FML, is this such a first world problem. Aaannnd is going grocery shopping today and expects this to happen to me later today.
jayman0123
This is exactly why most Walmarts turn off the weight checker. They rely on the camera above the scan bed to track items via a computer program. That program tracks items that appear to be separate items individually. So make sure to keep your items well spaced and not stacked vertically or the checkout camera might miss them 😁
hadtochangemyusernamecauseIgotdivorced
BEEP BEEP BEEP REMOVE YOUR CARD
GravyEducation
Oh God hit cash back hit cash back
mutingisforcowardsandsycophants
Now it's making angry noises...!?
cattlegrazer82
Age verification needed
ButterfaceTaintClown
because, and I really want to emphasize this point, we have a "Think 25 policy". it's not because you look 16.
1998wasthepinnacleofexistance
I wish there were an unexpected item in my bagging area...
TheShoggothOfMosquitoCreek
Teabagging is the only vaguely sexual reference I'm aware of involving the term "bagging", and the scrotum is sometimes referred to as the "sack". So your bagging area is either testicles, or the place you'd like to someone else's testicles to be?
dankymang
I think they are talking about butt play. Ie the front is the check out, the back is the bagging area.
1998wasthepinnacleofexistance
It was just wordplay. I just want sex lol.
hadtochangemyusernamecauseIgotdivorced
Paper or plastic?
1998wasthepinnacleofexistance
All natural? Lol
hadtochangemyusernamecauseIgotdivorced
Well if you're ever out in Montana
1998wasthepinnacleofexistance
LOL. Other side of the country, but who knows.
DadeCrashOverrideMurphy
Best advice I ever got from mom
SkynetWithAPoopKnife
qtRaven
kadac00
she's your mom???
YourBiologicalStepDadUncleRob
PiccadillyPi
Those practical lessons really paid off, eh?
snikpmupgnihsamseht
Your mom gives the best advice. Tell her I said "Hi".
pdp1
hotdoginathermos
LowTinaTurner
KapnKershaw
JUSTAnxious275
TruckStopRats
I, too, got advice from your mom. In fact most of my friends did too...
Slickdoodle
nice
ZookyPooky
DadeCrashOverrideMurphy
Yeah.. she’s the only reason I had friends in high school…
tomatoboy
Is it because she bought you a ‘puter and you met up with some like-minded nerds?
TruckStopRats
suddenly, i feel sad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe3NUKCnZp4
YouAlreadyMutedMe
We all made certain sacrifices to learn under your Mom.
TruckStopRats
She did like to be on top of things....
andydicktracymorganfairchild
Today, @TruckStopRats learned that it might not be a good idea to mention our own moms in usersub.
AVaguelyFamiliarUsername
Kiirdel
I want you to know I cackled at this. Thanks.
MstrES
Consider my jimmies rustled
jdore8
elten
jdore8