jamieb03303
71582
1064
45
Love is all you need
Oct 10, 2023 4:28 PM
jamieb03303
71582
1064
45
Zyvun
#1 and #2 are definigely putting out the wrong messages
IWantedOneOfThoseLongUsernamesTooSoIGotOne
Man, I don't need to put a bed in a car just to go to Venice, even in heavy traffic it's only like half an hour. After that, well... *sploosh*
Playerplaying
#7 Today I was talking to a buddy of mine about the new death battle at work and these other 2 guys starting calling us nerds and how we were kids talking about the show. I just asked them how is it any different then them talking about their fantasy football teams. We both talk about their ability and things they’ve done with how they might win or lose the match. Both of them stop talking and just ignored my question. So my buddy and I kept on taking about our stuff
Hextator
What does "too-early-Halloween-decorations" mean? I thought it might be an English phrase, but I can't make any sense of it.
cre8majic
The idea of a fresh start is very appealing at diff. times in your life. Take some time, do some planning, don't cut it all loose right away
pumpkinpiepatch
The last one I have been feeling very hard this year and more this past month. I fantasize about it. Go south for the winter, north in the summer till I settle somewhere.
tinyfootprints
All that hard work may not be unnoticed but it sure as fuck is unsung.
notifybay151
ExtremeAndViolentButtFun
I get the message, but sometimes we just want it all to be over.
brandonblk
#1 so um ok. i hate my everything.. i littraly cannot change it
Wardonk3y
Rock solid post. Made me misty-eyed. +1 would upvote again if i could.
Bottledwahwah
#3 The most important thing that needs fixing is the expectation that men must be able to fix everything.
It’s just one more part of making boys & men “prove” their manhood in a culture that says masculinity is entitled to an exalted place, so you have to earn it.
All genders can be leaders & protectors & problem-solvers, and all genders should be allowed to say “I don’t know” and “I can’t do this” and “I need help.”
All humans must be free to both offer and receive support and nurturing.
Sal1981
I just call it morning.
Crowlands
#1 Alright, I'll kill *Checks notes* My recurring nightmares, my memories, the cost of living crisis, and the threat of homelessness I'm facing.
jenniferchas839000
Thank you for sharing. I'm going to take a few and pass along others!
RevolutionOnHerLips
"Just be happy!" yeah fuck off with most of these
AnonOmis1000
#1 I don't like everything about me.
RoutemasterFlash
#1 Anyone else think this was some hardcore period-sex for a moment?
paulhollywood9
Watched too many Hamas videos on social media and I could do with a week off away from humanity!
manhands
#3 read the end as “starving” and that sums up how this year is going.
earthwulf
I transitioned from "harmless" to "peaceful" on 26 Aug 2023, the day my 20 year old son was killed in a car accident.
DontGetitTwisted1
Every time I hear Sir Ian talk, it puts me at peace. That man could read the phone book and I'd be enthralled with every word.
ConfessionsofMeandpornfavorites
Cheers to growth, it has reason for you. Please, know it can be done, but it's slow and arduous. The greatest comfort is that you're no longer giving up on yourself like before. In fact, it become possible that I cannot phantom a bad death now, because I am trying.
redsmerf
BlueDsc
Yeah, that's always come across to me as a way to justify being shit. Kinda like religion a lot of the time.
joshcrimson
#1 So with a time machine. Got it.
Mehdals
Dreanakari
These comments are so exhausting. No, not everything can be fixed by some anecdote on the internet. But also remember that not everyone seeing this is clinically depressed. There are people out there that need some motivation. Some people are seeing these different perspectives for the first time. Let them enjoy it and find even a glimmer of peace before seeing dozens of people saying to some extent "it's not worth it" or "this advice is aggressive and invasive". So is mental illness. So is life
Dreanakari
We don't have all the answers all the time, and it's wild that some people take this so literally as to say it's not helpful. Let it be for someone. In the same breath that folks are saying how worthless some of these are, they are demoting the positivity it is supposed to be spreading. Let me put this plainly. This is not meant to be a cure-all for mental illness, it is meant to be a window into what is achievable by knowing that positivity for the world and yourself exists.
jamieb03303
CascadiaPNW
I told my therapist only two things stop my mind noise, pain & extreme life or death stress (which comes with my job). As a kid I’d burn or cut myself for pain. As an adult I pinch the inside of my arm or leg, which I didn’t feel great about. He said, extreme stress and pain trigger fight or flight, which shuts the background thoughts off. While we should work on some others ways to deal, I had at least found a healthier than before way. Which made me feel not so horrible about myself.
RevolutionOnHerLips
sometimes harm reduction is the best a person can do. it's not always attainable, but have you ever tried using ice? Temperature is really good for me. Sometimes if the pain isn't too bad, a cold shower works, but sometimes when it gets to the point where I would usually self-harm, I will take frozen vegetables from the freezer and lie on the floor and hold them to my face, to my ribs or sides, to the insides of my arms, holding it there as it hurts from the cold (but does no lasting damage)
CascadiaPNW
Yeah. I’ll hold ice if it’s around. Honestly before we started talking about it (yesterday) I had never even put them together. Burning yourself with w/ a red hot needle is so outside the ball park of pinching your inner arm to clear your thoughts, I was like holy shit. Yep did them both for the same reason and yeah still not great, but in comparison I’m feeling a lot better about my current self.
RevolutionOnHerLips
I've explained self-harm like a drug before--it works so good, but then you need more and more to get the same effectiveness as when you started, and it can be hard letting go of it all at once. I'm proud of you for even attempting alternative strategies, and I hope your journey becomes easier with time. Remember, every minute of distress you tolerate is a victory. If you fall back to old patterns, it doesn't mean you're a failure. You're already doing brave work.
Psionickitten
#1 So... You're telling me to kill billionaires, people who create and sustain corporations on the highest level, ass holes who drive like it's their mission in life to maximumly inconvenience others, landlords, real estate price gougers, etc etc?
bbherMlemPlayer
Well, that's a good start.
RevolutionOnHerLips
https://media.tenor.com/NvdrkFQj668AAAAC/principal-skinner-yes.gif
jakedafish
Yes. Please yes. If you would. I'll give you cookies if you do.
TheMershedPerderder
Use your energy to make it harder for them to take advantage of you and others.
Psionickitten
Sadly I'm using all my energy just trying to stay afloat in this horrible world they've created. Exactly what they want from people like me.
TheMiamiVicePresident
I vibe with the message, but #1 has big “just don’t be sad!” energy. Go ahead and kill the part of you with a debilitating disease or cancer that leaves you completely dependent on others for even basic things, kill the part of you that’s struggling with addiction, homelessness and no support, easy peasy. The part of you that the wife/husband left and took the kids, or your massive debt and garnished wages? Wrongly/maliciously convicted of a felony? Just kill that part of you bro.
YannYacobi
Yeah, exactly. Like, oh okay, I'll just forget my dad died and I miss him all the time. Problem solved.
RoxxieFoxxie
The imagery in #1 actually hits me harder than the text (though that does give me a guide to the intended interpretation). As someone who went through verbal and physical abuse, and warped to the point where I started calling myself the same things he called me... leaving the corpse that I became behind and the raw meat/sloughed skin of the new person reminds me of how it feels trying to move forward while still filled with that...burning rage. That I ever let myself get that low.
SploogeMcDuck316
I can understand how these sort of messages can seem tone deaf. Let's use your first example (health). You have 2 options, either you sulk and be miserable until the disease kills you. Or you try your best to find what beauty there is in the world, do your best enjoy what you can and then the disease kills you. Which seems the better option? Also it wont be easy to change your mindset, its 100% a struggle, but doesnt mean you shouldnt try. What other option do you have?
Dreanakari
Might I suggest that it's not merely meant as advice to "just don't do it bro". But a vehicle in which those who have not been offered that perspective before, to pick what they need from it. It's wild to assume that a blurb on the internet can heal a problem completely, but someone somewhere is seeing it for the first time and being opened to the fact that there is more to do than end it all. The continuation of positive thinking is not meant to be a cure all for the mentally ill, but a window.
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
#2 is that kind of toxic positivity to me. I don't want my life to be the best story; I just want to be happy. Don't push that on me.
ReDoctored
You also can't kill the only part of you that knows coping skills, even if they're bad ones. You would have nothing left and you would be extra fucked. Gotta learn the good ones first and live with both for some time before slowly picking away the parts of you that are harmful. It's a whole fucking healing process. Not a decision you make in a day.
Diplocrap
Both #1 and #10 are just different ways to phrase the same idea as #5. Different language, different ways of putting it will make sense and click with different people. If it isn’t working for you, that’s okay. That one is just not for you, then.
Deshalope
They're significantly more abstract and less practical than #5.
Diplocrap
That’s fair!
MithridateEupator
Yea I'll just remove my autism - great advice guys
Diplocrap
I’m sorry you don’t like your autism. I think autistic brains think in delightfully different ways than neurotypical brains do. Both are valid and lovely.
If you can manage it, don’t hate that part of yourself. Hate the society around us who insists there is something wrong with you. In a just world, allistic people would also accommodate autistic people sometimes. You shouldn’t be the only one to have to make the effort, and that is what is truly unfair.
There is nothing wrong with you. 💜
MithridateEupator
I don't dislike my autism - everyone else doesn't like my lack of social awareness that comes as a result of my autism. What I hate is the loneliness that my autism causes.
davezeke
Oh yeah then just kill the part that hates the loneliness. Simple. /s
MithridateEupator
I've been trying to drink and smoke it away, but it is just the hardest little bastard to kill
trueunpopularopinions
Exactly the same with #10, even more so. They are kind and well-meaning messages, but many people simply cannot do the things they suggest.
davezeke
Anyone who describes small town waitstaff work as 'freeing' has never done it. Just another out-of-touch rich person platitude romanticizing 'simple living' while ignoring the poverty that comes with most jobs like that.
RevolutionOnHerLips
Yeah no kidding. I couldn't even afford groceries. The only way I got through was because if I worked an 8, I got a free meal. Weekends were hard. Being continually afraid of a higher utility bill was hard. That one was some Gwyneth Paltrow-level BS
davezeke
Ah, the shift meal. Staple of food service worker diets (until the owners stop giving them). I spent a good few years eating five or six of those a week.
feryooday
the kitchen bitches at me too much for ordering so I just go hungry
mafiacarstarter
Let's all take helpful advice and intentionally misinterpret it, then blame the OP for our misrepresentation. That sounds helpful and honest.
davezeke
I don't think anybody's misinterpreting anything. Bad advice is still bad even when offered with good intentions, and encouraging someone already in a vulnerable mental state to put themselves in high-stress, financially unstable positions is bad advice that minimizes the stress food and housing insecurity adds to existing depression. Real-life escapism doesn't fix problems, it just lets you ignore them until you lack the wherewithal to burn down and rebuild your life whenever it starts to suck.
RevolutionOnHerLips
Let's share memes that invalidate people's struggles, then blame them for saying they feel invalidated. That sounds helpful and honest.
mafiacarstarter
Just because something exists that isn't all about you doesn't mean that you are being invalidated. Not all solutions apply to all situations, and if you need everything to be prefaced with a disclaimer about all of the things that aren't addressed, there would be no room anywhere for anything but the disclaimers. So, go ahead and claim that you're being marginalized because you are not the ONLY thing being acknowledged. You have the right to be an idiot in public.
ryanisryting
You're absolutely on point. This is one of the most succinct ways I've ever seen it said. Kudos for that.