illsmith
135531
2703
119
Apr 26, 2017 8:19 PM
illsmith
135531
2703
119
ThatChecksOut
That's fucking dumb. I can see why he's divorced.
natolyi
To quote my mother: I'm pretty sure this is a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face.
billdozer86
It's going to suck when the judge forces him to pay the value in cash. Don't mess with judges. They will ruin you.
IamTheBatsam
Who has the kind of money to just cut all of their expensive stuff?
savethephantom
Cool that he has so much money that he can just destroy a bunch of expensive shit. This pisses me off, honestly.
VikingPrincessLaserRaptor
Once watched a man gamble all his money away at a casino. Night after night he intentionally lost all his money. So she couldn't take any.
thornus67
Preeeeeeeeeety sure he'll be held in contempt for that.
Cheomesh
More his loss than hers.
Chereazi
Sooo... all his stuff is broken too? Huh...
TheAutoBoT1011
When the anger fades and you realise you have to finish the stupidity of what you started, that's his expression.
unremarkableasterisk
never taunt a man into having an excuse to break out his tools.
AnnoyingUser
... and break things with them
Merciana
Too bad it was a hoax...
indyliberal
Now he's going to have to pay her half of what all that stuff was worth before he destroyed it.
Bootohfoostoe
So, you destroyed all of your own shit I didn't want anyway and I still get alimony.
SuchofuTheSexy
He also now owns nothing.
Moonhoof
What a massive tool.
RenaissanceFaireMan
*half of a massive tool
UpvotingCats
Not really achieving anything...
SirBaldrick
What a fucking waste
AssamLaksa
I'm glad they don't have pets or children.
DovahQuinn
He pulled a king Solomon.
meeperton
I can see how one would want to get divorced from this dolt.
TuppenceandJaclyn
Brilliant, I divorced my 1st wife for adultery, hers not mine, she still took everything that wasn't nailed down and most of my cash
rocketman89
Hoax http://www.snopes.com/fur-laura/
allthegoodnamesaretakenlikethisone
Funny hoax.
jadespider
Legal documents are not so ambiguously worded "half of everything". There would be a list and a $ amount.
luckstroke
well half of what is now $0... so
ArdentSlacker
It was not $0 at the time of the judgement. So he *has* $0, and still owes. And is guilty of contempt of court, criminal mischief, vandalism
FoxySpirit
It's actually an ad from the German bar association :-P
Idsertian
Hey. Go be fun at someone else's party. Comin' over here with your logic and your correctness and everything.
Pangs
Exactly right.
samesamebutnotthesame
What happened to the kids?
Jesusdo
"To shreds you say."
UltraBooster
They said "half of everything"
JohnnyTitelips
Since this appears to be a western court system, the mother could be a domestic terrorist crack whore and would still get the kids.
kissmyassets
It's all just a bloody mess of a situation ok?
username20characters
King Solomon has a solution
WalterKrunkite
"I'll show her! I'll get back at her by destroying all my stuff!" I'm going to guess she made the right call in getting out
GapingHeadwound
Yeah, if only he knew the importance of stuff.
thevaginalviscerator
That sarcasm made me chuckle
thefatb0b
Why assume that? Maybe she was an absolute monster and he was just refusing to let her win. Maybe not. Who knows without looking it up.
WhosJoe
Finally a comment with some sense
thevaginalviscerator
And even then, who knows?
WalterKrunkite
Because destroying everything is a childish and spiteful act. A mature adult might have simply walked away or donated it all to charity
thesuaveITguy
so... he just fucked up everything he owns to prove a point?... what an idiot...
herpopottomas
Any point worth proving requires 100% commitment.
Dvicemuse
I take it he wasn't the one who broke the most important thing
megamanismyhero
Sometimes as a man you have to make a statement and own it to the grave.
thesuaveITguy
i completely understand that... but to a certain extent... i like having things i own in one piece.
davidsarif
Sometimes you have to brush yourself off and take the higher road
CaptainShortorder
You divorced?
thesuaveITguy
nope. luckily.
CaptainShortorder
It's enough to make you cut your stuff willingly, as long as you get away with your soul.
Notthewatdabney
To be fair, he should have cut the car the long way.
5A5Wolf
Half=\=Equal
AccioCatGIFs
Yeah sure. This is the problem here. I just hope he doesn't have a dog.
Notthewatdabney
Ouch! He can't be that big a douchecanoe!
idonotthinkitownswhatyouthinkitowns
And the bike.
skindredzakuska
Yeah but someone still gets a driver side and someone gets a passenger side so it's still not fair, but both are fair cause both are useless
PopkinSandwich
Nickcannon.png
skindredzakuska
What's Nickcannon.png?
OfficialTacoInspector
i applaud his pettiness...
darkoneko
rich people revenge at its finest
turdly
His pettiness has been transformed into a conceptual art piece. I love it!
PhiIIipJFry
Yeah if this really happened it would not have ended well for the man. You can't just destroy communal property in a divorce.
DeathBeUponYou
http://imgur.com/hErZe8v
Solid5outof7
I've done this before. It was a laptop and I asked if she wanted the screen or the keyboard. My mom said the screen.
FlyingFlamingoKick
rocketman89
It was a hoax http://www.snopes.com/fur-laura/
Pontation
Thanks for keeping us honest!
NakedBears
In the words of the late, great Patrice O'Neil: "don't be afraid to be petty"
CidColetti
He was truly a modern day philosopher. I miss hearing his stance on literally everything.
BeerShartingJedi
That day Opie and Anthony had him in tears from laughing was gold. The video is hilarious.
CidColetti
With dumb Bobo? Yes. Also, the hour and 20 with OnA Patrice and Gallagher was honestly the oddest and most incredible radio/interview ever.
TCxStorm
I spent 2 hours watching charlie murphy interviews the other day. I need to rewatch some patrice stuff
ichosethewrongcollegedegree
Can't tell if she was a big enough bitch to have done this to his own belongings or that she was right to divorce him...?
OfficialTacoInspector
probably the former... cause the level of dedication he is taking to screw her over shows how much of a great man he is.
Mitheledh
These things are rarely one sided.
LetsGiveItATry
A little of column A, a little of column B.
danishjuggler21
Hey Lana...
skindredzakuska
But he owns the power tools. How does he cut the last power tool in half?
alymac
stick win every time
EricFromAccounts
Use it to cut itself, duh.
kingkongsidechicks
Just ask his neighbor
jo3v
Using handtools
cheeslord
With smaller tools, that he also cuts
silverfoxxflame
That one's just a gift.
SendMeReplicasOfYourDick
Well the last one for cash, rip the bills in half, toss any coins at birds or small children.
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
are you an accountant? seems like something an accountant would say.
SendMeReplicasOfYourDick
I'm Jewish(ish)? And I've only worked in two accounting offices and two law firms sooooo....
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
are you going to answer that phone? because I FUCKING CALLED IT
Solvedmind
Hired it maybe.
AreaResident
With his rage boner.
Taluien
Looks like he is german. He can just rent powertools to cut his powertools with at any home improvement center.
justafroodyguywithhistowel
Asking the real questions
Energytwo
That was after the judgment - he didn't own the tools before the divorce.
Aqawelska
Butterknife duh
Idsertian
WITH HIS DAMN BARE HANDS! /SaxtonHale
thisiswhyicanthaveanythingnice
"I tried to crucify myself. Couldn't get the last nail in."
PuppermintJerryJr
by the power of Crippling depression from immediate separation
letslearnnewth1
Save the hacksaw till last and break the blade in half
SamRichards3000
How tf did this make top comment?
tekkblade
He borrows his friend's power tool.
mrhobbybob
Half a metal saw
webimgur
Doesn't cut it, keeps it ... he bought it half-off.
rubber1duckie
He could rent a tool to cut his tools and then give it back. I'm also hilarious at parties
SendMeReplicasOfYourDick
No no, sell the tool and rip the cash!
SaunterbluggetHampterfuppinshire
Should use a rental tool for the whole lot and give her half the bill.
bippityboppityBACON
DepressedHappily
Then he have to share half of the rent too with wife
rubber1duckie
He has to give half of his belongings to her, he wouldn't own the rented tool therefore wouldn't have to give her half
skindredzakuska
Actually, I thought of that myself, but I'm usually a buzz kill at parties so...
TheOfficialBuzzKillington
You people are taking the fun out of my name
rubber1duckie
You're going to the wrong type of parties
skindredzakuska
Then so are you, I guess.
OrionRed
It's turtles all the way down.
everypostepic
You do realize there are tools you can borrow in the world, right?
ThatsWhatSheSed
Bruh...
Nessie410
Borrow one from a friend?
nightaudron
"Keep the change, baby"
youngmountaingoat
Never mind that, what about the kids?
Nanoxt
Maybe they own 2 sets?
spookymonster
Maybe he borrowed them.
EadEchiC
I'm pretty sure the judge is going to have a field day with this.
Cousinkyle
Why?
NotTodayNotYesterday
Courts don't do petty bullshit, buttercup. Yeah, he just made everything a hell of a lot easier for her.
ambiencenever
Divorce courts in the US are completely insane, what are you talking about?
davidsarif
He's destroyed the value of these items, half of which is legally hers. Doing this especially post-court is a bad move
hearthstoneaccount3
Eh a lot of this is probably worth more in a modern art museum than before. Increased the value I'd say!
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NeverCast
Did he die by being cut in half?
forestfinagle
No, he half-assed it and is still alive
Cousinkyle
Oh
iouoneusername
They are legally theirs until the divorce.
UltraBooster
Once u get that ruling, youre life is fucked anyway. Might as well have some fun before having an Egg McMagnum
girIfriendinacoma
You'll get fucked so much further behaving this way
DrKriegersClone
Like you might as well just kill yourself after doing something like this
IWishIWereNotAllergicToCats
Nonsense. losing 50% of your wealth and losing 150% of your wealth are completely different.
UltraBooster
True. But cutting your income in half is usually enough to ruin your life. Might as well go to jail rather then be starving your whole life
HTButterbuns
Exactly. And he could still hold the argument that she wanted half, and he gave it to her; how was he supposed to know what she meant?
UltraBooster
At least if hes in prison he has a roof over his head and a meal in front of him. She can still go back and ask the judge for more
Luck9000
Being a smart ass with the court. That'll work.
scorpiouprising
"I didn't know what you meant" is not a particularly strong legal defense.
JohnnyTitelips
He was fucked when he decided to be a married man in a western country.
ambiencenever
This