darwynstheory
142803
2524
102
Aug 29, 2017 6:12 AM
darwynstheory
142803
2524
102
dpfrank
Maybe Joel saw the Superdome after Katrina.
Jimwthe3rd
I'm sure that every single person who called out Osteen has already opened their homes as well, right?
stoploggingmeoutImgurIfuckingswear
Did Joel Osteen get plastic surgery? His Twitter banner gives me weird vibes. https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_banners/20545055/1475096876/
necessity
whereigotogetdownvotes
He is doing as much or more than George Bush did during Katrina. George's mother said, "It's better than they're used to." Super Dome refuge
Imvin
Hold on a minute. This has to be #fakenews. I'm sure his middle initial is H!
NotAPervert
I think the M stands for Messiah, it's his Twitter handle since some kids already took Jesus H Christ
orbitn
Love to see the government use some sort of eminent domain law to claim the "church"
TheMommaDuck
I always thought his middle initial was H.
BanThisIfYouDare
1 LIKE = 1 PRAY. 1000 LIKES = JESUS HEALS A DYING. 1000000 LIKES = A VISIT TO MY HOME
Noodlesama
They've started putting air mattress in prep for flood victims, took them a while but at least they're starting to get the message
Traja01
Well yea now the media is watching, which is more important that God.
IIIHalezIII
he opened it up.. FINALLY.. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4833836/Joel-Osteen-s-church-says-welcome-flood-victims.html
JossWhedonsGhost
A pastor should never be that grossly wealthy. His duty to God and his church is to give that money back to the community and those in need.
PassionateIndifference
I feel like if you bag the screen name Jesus, then your obligated to make these kind of posts
PlZZATHEHUTT
Christian love, yo
Magicmat
Praying: literally the least you can do while deluding yourself that you are actually helping anyone
fukmeefuku
He sickens me
Symek
Who the f*ck is Joel Osteen?
Traja01
He exploits peoples' ontological and existential dread for profit.
Ezzybells
Someone who uses Jesus to make millions and doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.
Symek
Oh. In that case, fuck that guy!
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee
He writes vacuous self-help books, then uses his megachurch in Houston to promote them.
erictron
http://heavy.com/news/2017/08/joel-osteen-church-shelter-twitter-hurricane-photos/ it's open. Do your research.
ManOfAThousandCheeses
Fact: Christ is a Latin title meaning 'The Anointed One", not a surname, so that M shouldn't really be there
OrionRed
Is it "the" or "an"? As in, can't there be more than one.
psychologicaltrap
Fact: M is an American title meaning "The One with Knowledge of Mother(s)", not a middle name, so it has just as much right as that "Christ"
KabukiBukkake
Internet fact: Jesus' middle initial is H. It stands for Hernandez.
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
It stands for Harold, you infidel. "Our Father in Heaven, Harold be Thy Name."
Yupurineutah
M'kay.
ComicUpgrade
Good ole oily Josh
davebeastly
Maybe the M is his family name Mohammed or Mustafa or something.
BrutalMachine
Joel Osteen is a fake pastor. As a Christian, his lies and deceit sicken me....
Traja01
People like him make me hope that eternal damnation and divine judgment are real things.
BrutalMachine
Oh believe me, there is. Especially for people like him...
o11c
It's times like this that we should ask ourselves, "what would Jesus do?" And making a whip to use on people is a very relevant example.
fumblingblind
If anyone's looking for shelter there are mosques open! https://twitter.com/amyharvard_/status/902394584092868609
inolongercareaboutthis
http://www.faithwire.com/2017/08/29/here-is-the-complete-story-behind-the-attacks-on-joel-osteens-lakewood-church/
Jigyflyuk07
Think he forgot what being a good person means
cknuth
Apparently the church is flooded....soooo....maybe this whole backlash was a touch hasty?
SentOS
He lied about his church being flooded.
erictron
http://heavy.com/news/2017/08/joel-osteen-church-shelter-twitter-hurricane-photos/ he sure didn't
incubusiness
It's not.
Boobs4Wade
He's estimated at $40 million. But, it's ok. Prayers and thoughts will help, right? That's what really counts, right? His imaginary friend.
keyblader1985
Ohhhh, so close.
Traja01
"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth. and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal." -Jesus
trapinch
With $40m I'm sure he could create an economy on the 1 like = 1 prayer monetary standard.
f4m0us4m0s
https://imgur.com/tZuiLg3
FlyingButtPliers
They put up a place on their website where you can donate money to help. Samaritans Purse I think. No mention of actual help.
KeezieWeezie
Samaritan's purse is a charity organization that had existed for a long time and has nothing to do with Joel Osteen
FlyingButtPliers
Oh OK. I guess they help by linking to that site then. I'm not from there, only heard of the guy from Twitter.
KeezieWeezie
Well that's good at least. A little surprising, I'm pretty sure Samaritan's purse is Lutheran and Joel Osteen is far from Lutheran
BishlamekGurpgork
There's an old ad campaign called 'likes don't help' you might appreciate.
WillJeSuis
+1 Like to stop Poverty.
Boobs4Wade
Imaginary deities have been soooooo helpful in the past with natural disasters, terrorist attacks, diseases, etc.
Horseymcfaceyface
Oh boy bad time to be religious in this thread
talel81
They don't fix the trouble they cause. "I made a mess. You clean it up." --God(s)
myweaknessisstrong
Shit I prayed for rain in Texas, god came through like a mother fucker.
WhellerNG
I blessed the rains down in TEXASSSS!
ThatTransformersDude
Pray softer next time.
emberfish
So it's your fault.
myweaknessisstrong
Deus Vult.
Fairdinkums
What on earth is going on in his head to not want to open those doors and help.
triscuit3000
They might get the carpet dirty!
benbrockn
*whispers* "He's not a real follower of Christ but a con man."
idonthavetimeforthiseither
No money in it
YellowDrank
I'm not saying he's right or wrong but it needs to be controlled. Remember the superdome mess.
Accountingcounter
Last I saw they did, brought in a bunch of portable mattresses etc. Slow response is better than no response??
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
Doesn't mean he's not a despicable human being/Christian. Bending to public pressure doesn't make you a good person.
brambleramble
because it was flooded previously
irespondwithsimpsonsquotes
He's a cunt.
Koldfront
His bottom line is what.
lostinukraine
Dollar bills?
erictron
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/29/us/joel-osteen-houston-megachurch-criticism/index.html
IIIHalezIII
IAmTheRealCalvinAndHobbes
Greed. He got what he needed. Now he could give a Damn about those in need
Moghul
Could not*
wingweaver415
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/29/us/joel-osteen-houston-megachurch-criticism/index.html
Idontwanttomakeanotherusername
Probably he doesn't want those dirty needy people messing up his sanctuary where all his rich congregation feel self important by niceities
misleadingtitles
I read nicetitties
AngryFoodTerror
Even better
Shumani
http://imgur.com/RsI9t
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emupop
Except it isn't.
twozerooz
Nope.
Lamplord
Everyone is saying "Oh hes greedy" but this isnt greed. Its just stupid. This is the kind of publicity that ruins people.
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee
They're saying he's greedy because of where he puts his priorities. He wants people in his church on Sundays because it leads to more/
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee
/ more book sales. But when it comes to actual Christian ethic, helping people, he doesn't actually help anyone.
discollama
SweenDog
Scrooge McOlsteen
erictron
He did open them. They've always been open.
Halbeard
No, what is going on in the head of the thousands of people who believe I'm him and his word? Is the better question.
priapism4prez
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/08/29/us/joel-osteen-houston-megachurch-criticism/index.html
goldfishcrackersbetweentheseats
Possibly liability issues, and accessability. The only answer I could find was the streets leading to his church were flooded and couldn't >
goldfishcrackersbetweentheseats
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goldfishcrackersbetweentheseats
I've been keeping myself informed, and there was a point where yes, he was only mentioning that he would pray for the city. NOW after >
goldfishcrackersbetweentheseats
Tremendous bad publicity he is releasing info that the church is flooded and they have air mattresses waiting for people. However, early on^
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zapbranagan
https://www.google.com/amp/amp.usatoday.com/story/610947001/
G0LDENface
How dare you. Jk +1 thank you
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee
'I guess we'll help, but only when other shelters are full.' My old church in Houston is a fraction of the size and they opened their doors.
BoodleBoy
Did you keep reading to the part with the pictures of the church actually being flooded?
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee
Yeah. And I've seen a dozen photos and videos in the last day showing the flooding is nowhere near as bad as Osteen is saying.
Pryotra
It was kinda underwater, and didn't want those in need to be swimming to and in their shelter?
Nightcaste
I saw on the news this morning that his church was damaged by the flooding. It's not safe for habitation.
AlkeneThiol
Lies. It has multiple floors. Even if first floor was flooded, other floors are fine.
Nightcaste
What holds up those upper floors? The lower ones, which are damaged. Add to that the potential for mold, bugs, illness...
bamcockseverywhere
You mean the same hazards the people would be facing alone if they weren't evacuated but because they're all in one place it's easier?
Nightcaste
Higher density means more people to get sick faster. Having them spread out means slower proliferation.
bananerbread
For a structure of that size, chances are is a concrete and steel construction.
priapism4prez
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/08/29/us/joel-osteen-houston-megachurch-criticism/index.html
DoneMessedUp
We don't use actual sources here!
monsto
he's not a priest... he's an evangelist. BIIG difference.
bsuu
I mean sure he could be one of those kid diddlers on top of being a selfish human asswipe but it's hard for me to give him credit for that
ThisFrickenGuy
Huh? Even if that were a valid argument (which it isn't) the comment didn't even suggest he was a priest to begin with.
TheLastGunslinger
What's the M stand for? Motherfucker?
project3way
Mancy
fukmeefuku
Too bad, he really gives christians a bad rap...if I were local my home would be open to as many as possible!
southtimor
Manager
SAVAGESAMOAN
"MOTHERFUCKIN"
IIIHalezIII
Purtypreencess7
**ing
TheGreatPineApple
Motherfuckering
MOTHERFUCKINGVIRGINMARY
I think @MOTHERFUCKINGJESUS can help you there. SON? WHERE ARE YOU?
MOTHERFUCKING
HE CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, WHAT YA NEED?
combatwombat0
Manger is his middle name
HitMan99610
Manger is his diddle name* FTFY
stimpsonjcatt
Um...it's Motherfucking actually.
zuurg
He gets this question so often he put the answer in his profile pic
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
Max. But people just call him M.
TheLemic98
Mother Fucker Jones
WannabeHobo
Jesus Christ, Samuel L. Jackson version.
nipplepanties
M as in mancy
Madmooch
+1 for archer
CondescendingCunt
Motherfuckin', actually.
MurtBaclinBFI
Muhammad
stevenwonder
mary
sDsnAlien
Thank you for knowing
stevenwonder
tmyk
BADASSartoo
Mitch
MandaloreIncognito
I know the H in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hubert.
Nuggetti
I thought it stood for Hydrogen.
JesusHorsedickChrist
Actually.....
AWanderingFlame
No, it stand for 'Horatio Caine, our Lord and Saviour'
Irreal
Manfred
MOTHERFUCKING
FUCK YEAH CUNT!
feckr
malcolm
NickNo
Marryingjoseph
HowMuchMethWasInvolvedHere
It was a threesome
digitalist1
Jesus motherfuckin christ
NationalOrganizationOfMenAgainstAmazonianMasterhood
I'm still wondering about the H in Jesus H. Christ.
SanchoLibre
holy
PaulTomblin
Haploid.
pnad
Actually, it's Hume.
darwynstheory
Actually, yes.
Arcian
I mean, it makes sense. Jesus is God in human form. God fucked Mary to conceive Jesus. Mary is Jesus mother. Jesus = Motherfucker.
FruitsmakemeToots
Everyfootisalegend
AngryFoodTerror
Arthritor
Generally speaking, the belief that Mary was impregnated by sexual acts with God is a heresy that is denounced by the church, and has been >
Arthritor
For centuries
DrDoomas
I'm not religious but have been there, the entire parking lot is underground, and the location is at and below sea level. Please don't make
dav3nasty
There's a USA Today story showing the interior flooded af and Joel saying that the church is open but there are better shelter atm
Ezzybells
It wasn't flooded, and if it was, how would he have been able to eventually open it to people like he did? You can't have it both ways.
DrDoomas
It a simple issue. That place is downtown and underwater. That guy is shitty, but you're oversimplifying a huge problem.
Guitardrumr
Except that it's not. https://twitter.com/cmclymer/status/902204084597469184
DrDoomas
Err actually no. http://www.snopes.com/is-osteens-megachurch-affected/ look man I don't like the guy either, but the whole area surrounding
DrDoomas
The church is fucked. I'm not saying he's a savior, but there's logistical problems with it, and painting a picture like he's some
LoudBirb
Erm... That Snopes article states that only the basement and garage flooded, and that his area was under flood advisory, not warning...
LoudBirb
Apparently, nothing was impeding entering the church, and the main floor with all the seating was dry.
DrDoomas
Shithead aren't true either. I mean he may suck, but keep it real. There's no reason to make shit up about why he sucks.
Guitardrumr
Could be helping people, providing shelter to evacuated people, but he's not. That's still makes him a fucked up person. 2/2
Guitardrumr
Did you read the link you posted? Garage and basement affected, main floors not affected. And the area is apparently clear now. He 1/
TheGreatAnhey
Wasn't the church flooded too or something?
erictron
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/29/us/joel-osteen-houston-megachurch-criticism/index.html
erictron
It's open. People on imgur just like jumping on bandwagons without researching.
johnfromnorway
Upvote for lie-awarness
zapbranagan
https://www.google.com/amp/amp.usatoday.com/story/610947001/
Cmycherrytree
He lied. Like really lied. Like "what a fucking asshole you liar" lied. He cares nothing of his flock or people in general.
mmurrbles
So how the fuck are people supposed to get there? Almost all the roads are flooded.
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
If only we had some kind of device...something that could float and carry people around deeper areas of water...if only.
mmurrbles
Then shouldn't they take them to a shelter or a place with food or showers?
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
Unfortunately most of them are booked up. Some people will have to settle for getting out of the rain and having somewhere dry to sleep.
smoochmysnoot
His pants are SO on fire right now..
rumplestiltsken
https://twitter.com/cmclymer/status/902204084597469184
brambleramble
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/08/28/joel-osteen-lakewood-church-houston-hurricane-harvey/610947001/
TheGreatAnhey
Thanks my dude now I know the tooth
IvnWng
YOU CANT HANDLE THE TOOTH
orangecicle
There's plenty of Houstonians in the thread saying that it could still be plenty flooded. I wanna punch the guy but maybe you don't know?
Guitardrumr
The basement and garage were initially flooded, but not the main floors. As of yesterday afternoon, even that had cleared.
orangecicle
You were there to verify this were you? Or is Twitter your source lol
Guitardrumr
I've seen both sets of photos, and reports from people in the area. More than one source.
Guitardrumr
And if I weren't on the other side of the country, me and my boat would be down there helping get people out.