SquirlDancer
126443
2325
69
Prehistory
This explains so much
Edit: Wow fp, I wasn't even going to make my phone dump public cuz I'm always too shy to post. Thx. Cat tax in comments because I don't know how to add. Send yourselves a big pat on the back for getting me through too many sleepless nights to count...
pleonidas
You have to scramble the eggs for an omelet, like wtf is that idiot on?
IWantedOneOfThoseLongUsernamesTooSoIGotOne
#17 Yes and yes.
satchmo1729
#14 is valid. Cats weren't domesticated really. They just came into Egyptian homes for the mice and never left
IAmLarge
#23
Hutchy01
The monkey in #19 looks like Putin.
Drewscifer
#2 You forgot that Llama might be Kuzco
TheOneTrueGosh
#26 I try to crawl inside the toilet. There's uh....there's not a lot of space in this bathroom.
sparrowace
wow didn't even know my town had a vineyard let alone a meme made after one of its products neat
Wybo
Obligatory "Kanye said that, not Freddy Mercury"
MemedMe
Was looking at the comments just to confirm
stonebrood
"norwegian death metal" still like yes they do have a death metal scene but they're better known for black metal
NecroNegro
Hitman monkey kinda looks like Putin
DoYouGuysNotHavePhones
UlfhednarSkol
Alright, as someone who has bred llamas, they don't have just a knife. It's a fucking K-bar laced with poison that makes you shit to death.
jsktrogdor
#10 Hurr durr fuckin' easy for you to say Freddy. "JUST BE YOURSELF, IT WORKED FOR ME, THE MOST TALENTED PERSON EVER." Asshole.
FabulousAmpharos
It was Kanye West who said that, not Freddy
SquirlDancer
Holy sh*t, fp.
SquirlDancer
My humble cat tax. Didn't know how to add pic.
jkwgn
It's"I started making eggs over easy, then..
PotatoForScale
#22 they are cherries
billhoe
#12 The fuck kind of name ‘Lulabelle’
houseofnifty
I thought it said "You cant leave until theres a VISITOR" and was like "wellp im fucked"
FancyFrance
That lady’s hair reminds me of Falcor.
GoddammitMrNoodle
Don't forget Alan Rickman.
Ahabsbeard
Those are cherries..
RespiratoryRandy
I'd leave the fucking room before the tiger appeared, avoiding the victor only clause. I can go properly arm myself in the meantime.
StripTheFleshSaltTheWound
HAHA! I'm a llama.
N0ledge
#15 Cats were hunting mouse and rats for the early man. They are still used in rural areas for this purpose
HappyEngineer
Seriously that Tiger one though
HappyEngineer
Open window, close curtain, draw crude picture of joint of ham, wait by drawstring...olé!
MAYORofTITTYciti
Fundoplication
He being scary @ da cherry
iplaywithatoms
LordFusion38
He wary of the cherry
MrGlayden
Cherry tomatoes...
MAYORofTITTYciti
... are not what these are. These are cherries.
UlfhednarSkol
Cherry tomatoes have a green "star" shape where the fruit and stem meet.
Knilore
Sorry I was sure as well and just as wrong. Welcome to retardation.
MAYORofTITTYciti
Rehoy
#1 how do you screw up an omelet?
JHawke
By trying to flip it 45 seconds after you DECIDE to make one... obviously .
CrazyCatLad
I screwed up boiled eggs... Started peeling and realized I did nothing correct. So, I had scrambled eggs instead.
venusofwillendorf
Step 1 be me
noReallyIamPrincessBob
Stir
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Use too many eggs, make it too big so it's almost impossible to turn over. Half turn: uncooked in the middle. Pancake flip: scrambled eggs.
Rehoy
Ahh, I've never had these prolems, so I was a bit confused, but makes sense