avanishprajapati
433089
9899
320
Funnier if you read it in the voice of Bandersnatch Cummerbund
Mar 11, 2017 3:13 PM
avanishprajapati
433089
9899
320
Daaabloons
+1 for stories, womb temp, & ark hives! My wife hates me even more!
TheSecretestMan
A monk walked up to a hot dog vendor and asked, "Can you make me one with everything?"
arthwollipot
I got a job helping a one-armed typist with his capital letters. It's shift work.
SpecialisRevelio
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Scrubbeh
Yeah, it petrifies me.
divitu
#18 "Bi-kings" "bike-kings" "bike-ings" — I don't think its four unless you count "bi-kings" twice for "king" and "viking".
ZorasDomainNameSystem
It's midnight and I'm drunk but I sat here for twenty minutes trying to find the fourth pun. Thank you
BeefyYungin
What do you call a chubby actress singing in a play in new York?
BeefyYungin
A broad, broad on broadway
OfficialBenderRodriguez
I work in a hospital, and those blanket heaters are glorious. Easy way to make a patient's day a bit better
mzmzpants
This post made me finally sign up for tumblr. Laughing so hard right now I'm vibrating.
geekonmuesli
*Punday Dump
TheDutchSwedish
Am I the only one who then also actually googled "world's funniest joke"?
Veszy
Idk if it's because I'm more baked than a pie but, the elephant in the room one... what???
iKnow
The elephant in the room = the awkward silence on a topic everyone is thinking about. The elephant gifter said "don't mention it."
Veszy
Ahh thank you! Username checks out.
Star7742
I'm slowly collecting these so that I have a stockpile for when I create my bard character at D&D
Arimakura
Send em to me! I favorites mine, still need to make folders.
Star7742
I'll share if you share too lol
Kyuubles
A psychic midget has escaped from prison, police have warned that there is a small medium at large.
Grummerson
I laughed at this. Everything is fine.
insongwhang
A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and orders five beers.
killjoy4
So you think your punny @avanishprajapati
[deleted]
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SuperiorPosterior
Way to be a killjoy for @killjoy4. Go tell a kettle they're made of cast iron, why don't ya.
SuperiorPosterior
Seems people don't get sarcasm. Ahh well.
DarkTherapy
I bought a dog recently, and noticed a flea jump from its coat. I instantly thought "Maybe it's buy one get one flea"
UpvoteStopMotion
Why didn't you call it punday dump? I am disappointed.
Warzoo
What's the difference between a nun in a chapel and a nun in the bath? One has hope in her soul...
nosadpandas
I see what you did there you dirty bastard! +1
GlazedHamRiot
minionsandbananas
Batmannequin
Why do tumble users get so angry over these. Do they really just hate hearing a PUNchline?
Amousewithchees
They just can't take the PUNishment.
LoodGookin
I think those people are just punderwhelmed.
stefse02
YouUsedToWatchSesameStreet
Keep them chuckles coming
Daaabloons
Shit, I did watch Sesame Street, what the hell?! Are you a sorcerer?
freakydeath33
mhat about the elephant?
TIMoonShine
If only there wasn't a stupid pointless reply to every joke...seriously, I just want the jokes, not the idiotic robotic replies.
KuuroiYuki
The jokes themselves actually aren't that funny, though. This dump in general is a bit... unexciting.
3tiddy
minionsandbananas
ReleaseTheBeeees
I went to a zoo and there was a baguette in a cage. The zoo guy told me it was bread in captivity
Its3amAndImFeelingSaucy
guys I still don't get the juggler one...
Its3amAndImFeelingSaucy
oh wait...*yes we see yah* ?
KuuroiYuki
Yep.
Mitheledh
#1
FajitaPrinceofAllMexicans
With a rack like that, she's just baiting for me to use a pun... A booby trap, if you will.
CyberAkuma
Go to jail? But I thought that the law was that the pun-ishment should fit the crime?
Mitheledh
http://www.galactanet.com/comic/Strip53.gif
GreenYawgmoth
Shit, I know I've seen that webcomic before. Help me out here.
Mitheledh
Casey and Andy.
Kabukai
i dont get this one
Amousewithchees
Say their responses out loud. "Yes" "Oui (prounounced Wee)" "Si (pronounced See)" "Ja (pronounced Ya)"
Misora
4 ways of saying yes in various languages but it sounds like "Yes, we see you"
cryborg
Everyone skips the long ones, right? It's not just me.
leahatard
It's just you!
ICreatedThisAccountOnlyForThePurposeOfCommenting
I skip them because they are reposted endlessly, and I know the punchlines by heart.
aethoneagle
But the long ones are great
GallEMcCoxbig
I bet the park ranger hit him in mount.
divitu
It took me a million times seeing that one to figure out wtf autocorrect was thinking. He typed "Moutn".
Kabukai
and i dont get this one
Amousewithchees
Never heard the phrase, "Addressing the elephant in the room"? or "Nobody wants to mention the elephant in the room"?
Kabukai
no
CreepyMcPasta
It's pretty hard for none native speakers to understand but basicly "an elephant in a room means "a big/important topic is not talked about
JPminer814
I'm a native speaker and this one confused me...
gokusuper007
Someone explain the lamp one. I'm lost
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
De-lighted
Amousewithchees
All the lamps where stolen. His house has been de-lighted (bad english pun really, de-something as in removed something.)
Bridgend
Thanx I couldn't figure it
UtopianDream
I used to have a problem with deli meats. The doctor told me to quit cold turkey.
slowx
What a ham.
Tooexforbee
A sign in the window reads 'cured meats'. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive.
SuperiorPosterior
And over in the corner, the chicken stops smoking cold turkey.
whatupmyknitters
that joke is salame
UtopianDream
I'll take that as a complimeat
liliantbn
I take it as a condiment.
BlueIceDragon
I ham laughing so hard right now
Scrubbeh
My good friend doesn't get it...
Thorudon
Quitting something 'Cold turkey' is a common phrase for quitting instantaneously. Like, cutting out soda entirely to reduce caffeine intake.
dogfavoriter
Ah, Tumblr. Where the joke doesn't end with the punch line, it ends with "get out" or "I can't even" or "did you just".
ItsCalledADinglehopperYouSwine
Or, imgur. Where boop the snoot, the skeleton wars and Michael Cera...we all have our things hahaha
Rystefn
And the punch line usually gets repeated 3-4 times.
eclect0
And the sentences don't end either, apparently.
IVerifyPeoplesUsernames
PUNch line.
batshark
You know people do it for advertisement? If you write that & someone reblogs it from you all the other persons followers will see your blog
Wurstinator
And everyone around me was laughing for 6 hours straight.
MikeGreenwellWasRobbed
Yeah these are all garbage. Have an upvote though.
DiamondLeaguePlayer
Im so done
BardicLasher
It's not a real pun until somebody hates you for it.
GalileoPendragon
That's my life motto now, thank you
SkyeKey
"I'm scREAMING"
APUSHMeOffACliff
I'm done with this site
Klaxun
Get out.
Kyuubles
If I ever stop reblogging this I'm dead.
WeirdOnions
I just spat out my tea in the middle of class and the whole bus applauded. The joke's name? Albert Einstein.
ScottishPower
i'm crYING
ICannotStressThisEnoughBut
And that response was to possibly the worst joke on this album. I can't even
SentientPineapple
OMG this site is on druuugggsssss
Danishlmgurian
I'M DYING
metaphysicalburrito
i'M SCREAMING
localbadboy
I think they should be cropped out, i cringe evertime i read them.
InfocalypseRising
I save the funny ones but I crop out the cringey comments.
MostIndeedlySo
But did you lean back on your chair and watch out the window for several minutes while laughing at least 3 minutes?
localbadboy
I didnt because i cant brEATH
TheNewestTubeGuy
People trying to hard to add onto the joke by saying "get out" smh
TheNewestTubeGuy
*people on Tumblr
SpecimenSpiff
Uhh...