DontEatLegos
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I was kinda constipated, so I said “why not,” and tried to drop a deuce again. So, as I’m trying to drop the package off, the first log was very stubborn but I persisted and eventually, it dropped. All of a sudden my stomach cramped up and made some weird sounds and a firehose of diarrhea shot out of my butt. It seriously lasted almost 5 seconds of full blown diarrhea. I feel so much better though. I guess that log was backing me up. I love you all!!! :)
8BitFish
Toss a coin to your shitter, oh ass checks of plenty....
ScrewHavinAUsername
2graves
Eat some dark greens my dude
TennesseeTophat
A true #shitpost
danbrazier
Username checks out
KindofaBadPerson
MyKidIsAsleepAndImBored
TheEuphinator
LSUguy
UranusSpelunker
The same thing happened to my cat 3 days ago and I had to catch him, bathe him, and scrub the floor. I blame you.
iusedtodream
I also blame OP.
kiddk00l
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears will take care of everything.
theresgarlicinthatnebula
OneTonBrute
I can feel the elephant's eyes rolling into the back of it's head.
AninOnin
Honestly, I'm happy knowing how much relief you must've felt afterwards. Keep the Lego munching to a minimum, okay? ?
dickbutttt
at least you didnt need a knife
kiddk00l
dragonfury101
Don't force too hard, you can cause damage
Omegarighteous
I have this coming, I've got the rancid fart stage currently
watgula9
DrDantheMedicalman
Overflow diarrhoea, caused by constipation irritating the bowel. Source - I'm a doctor who treats bowels
MellyBaskelly
Can we have a ‘day in the life’ type post? You can tell us gross stories and advice so those gross things don’t happen to us?
OnePieceRoboFranky
Them sugar free gummy bears will unclog you and then some.
Bingbangbobalot
Once the pace car leaves the track it’s back to racing speed.
didyouseewhatgodjustdidtousman
Madv1lla1n
Shit Posting Lvl 1000 +1
Wingsofinsanity
Sounds like you've learned nothing about eating legos.
NewWestDave
The plural of Lego is Lego .
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
Was looking for this comment
Nobanob
My exceptionally dumb friend doesn't understand, so he can't tell me what this means
Wingsofinsanity
The @OP is named don'teatlego, post was about constipation. My comment alluded the constipation was from eating lego.
Nobanob
Thank you very much
HumanClone
Poop stories are the best stories. Eff all those downvoting.
Sweetumsbrandflavoredcondom
Im basking in the first dump on the home throne post-road trip afterglow right now. Shit yeah.
TooStronkkk
No shit yo!
Lurker4815162342
magicrhombus
Quessir
My all-time favourite.
nozel
It reads like a love story
dukeas365
I want to downvote cuz I'm sitting on the toilet and the cork wont come out
PushPullMagnet
Because we all relate at some point
DutchessGummiBuns209
They are we've all been backed up and had that sweet relief. Trying to guess the shape and length with each push
Smarterthanyoureaveragebeer
They're not my number 1 favorite but they are a solid number two
Lurker4815162342
Nice number 2 is definitely 1
iamthisguy247
Yeah, they’re the shit!
UserJace
People underestimate just how long a 5 second liquid blast is.
disagreeable
The terror. The horror. The relief.
awesomespeler
Excellent. But don’t forget to loiter for a while in case of an aftershock.
MikeWay
A rehearsal standing-up usually brings the aftershock
QuitLookinAtMineAim
A real shit post, with no poop knife needed
SamAuFoodVillain
Nobody said it was not needed
QuitLookinAtMineAim
I, um... I did. Are you calling me a nobody?
BeanMugged
Ironically I read it as "I just POOPED the cork"
KirbyUOR
I read "I just pooped", then saw the look on his face and thought "Ooh can't wait to see the bottom" then read "the cork" and thought...
KirbyUOR
..."aww I was wrong", then read the description and thought "oh wait it was about pooping!" and all was good again. What a rollercoaster!!
MeatSparkles
Dude I haven't pooped in like 5 days.... I take a lot of pills :/
TurduckenMcNugget
I poop like 5 times a day. Not sure which if us has it worse.
MeatSparkles
haha do you drink a lot of coffee/tea?
TurduckenMcNugget
None actually. No caffeine at all.
brandscaping
This is the crappiest story I've read all day
3lv3n
You dropped a nice turd punt.
HandoB4Javert
Pantallideth
A high quality shitpost
EVILtheKAT
That was puntastic.
Jepalaudsadsin
Craptastic*
QuamvisSintSubAqua
The crappiest story so far.
MustntSleep
Yeah OP is full of shit
DontEatLegos
I was.
patolucas1977
Not anymore apparently
UserNamesArentEasy
I needed to fart as I read this. Thought I was about to suit my pants.
OnceInADream
I farted while reading this.
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Suit yourself.
mypotatohas47assholes
Shit yourself.
Sithonmysaber
Well at least you didn't tuxedo your pants
valen00
I hope this becomes a meme, somebody with more FP chops should make this a meme just so we can talk about tuxedoing ones pants.