LinaBea
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587
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We're not telling anyone except close family for 2 more months but I'm bursting at the seams to tell someone!!!
Edit: yes, I know there's a typo. Oops.
And thank you all so much for your kind comments. It really helped put a smile on my face and feel less alone.
Holy crap, most viral! Thanks! That's never happened before!
SpazzyPrincessPea
Congratulations!!!! I’m so glad that you got to enjoy each other before intruding a new little person. Being a parent is hard, but you will be just fine. I’m one year in, and happy to offer support if you want to chat.
mateo25024
It sounds like you want this child. That’s step one to being good parents. The next step is knowing and accepting that you will absolutely fuck up from time to time. Learn with it. Grow with it, and above all else, love that baby. Lean on your resources like your parents, friends that have kids, and websites that cater to child rearing. Be patient, loving, and share responsibility. You got this!
Chemicalbondage
I’m raising three kids, it’s surprisingly hard to break a baby. You got this.
TheSilverSeraph
Congrats, but as a parent, can I just say that the anxiety never ends. From miscarriage, to birthing difficulties, to feeding, sleep, infections, development, social media, bullying etc etc. Different stages = different anxieties. That being said, the high points are great indeed. But you never stop being a parent (to the annoyance of our children). THe fact that you are thinking about it puts you way ahead of many others
Wytch
I can already tell you that you'll be a good parent. Miscarriages sometimes happen, and if it does, keep trying. Just listen to your doctor and take your prenatal vitamins.
SomeDetroitGuy
Being a good mom - Keep your temper, always. Love your kids, always. That's it. End of lesson.
ErindorGhostPope
Nice. You get to play with all their toys.
Chrisantemus
If you are worried it means you’ll do great. Good moms worry.
TheCrazySnekLady
After trying for over 10 years myself, our first ended in miscarriage just over a month ago. If I can offer any advice, it is to be prepared, and don't be afraid to ask for help from a mental health professional. It can be so mentally hard. I struggle daily.
randomguy365
If the worst should happen I'll be happy to talk to you. Sadly not enough people are open about the experience of losing a pregnancy and it makes others feel alone.
I've lived through it, and there were definitely days when I thought I wouldn't. I never found anyone to talk to about it and now I try to be there for others if I can.
LinaBea
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It feels like such a taboo subject.
yamamasyamaha
Real talk, kids are resilient. You’ll be fine, they’ll be fine. If you do your best, it’ll work out.
CodeWarrior
Years ago, I voiced my concern to my wife about whether I would be a good father, and she told me something that I have kept with me ever since. "The fact that you are worried about it means that you are already in a better frame of mind than your father."
IliveIdyeIliveagain
Congrats from dad in Japan!
mutatedspleen
You should be a little terrified of not being a good mom probably, yeah. It's a pretty important responsibility and all. But I think more than being terrified of failing, you should be super excited to succeed! It's the same axis, just looking in the other direction. You have the chance to raise a human being who can do anything, who can improve the world, who can help others. That's fuckin' rad. If you focus real hard on doing that, you can't fail. Problem solved.
12DrD21
Congratulations!!! That you care about the kiddo enough to be worrying before they are even born shows you'll be the best parent you can be! Nobody is perfect, and kids don't come with an instruction manual - have confidence you'll be a good parent, and you will be!
invadergirdoomdoomdoom
Look, a little bit of fear is healthy. It's a good motivator to mind your health, mind the baby's health, and to keep up to date on the best practices for childrearing. But you've got this. As long as you and your partner know how to communicate your needs with one-another to manage the load, it'll work out.
Falcrist
Prreganté 🤌
LinaBea
We just showed my in laws this because it's amazing!
Falcrist
Reference to this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg
Bigemedic
Congratulations!
And honestly, if you're worried about being a good parent, you're gonna be just fine:)
CyxaBlyat
My wife and I had a miscarriage for our first pregnancy and that was a huge source of anxiety for us for our second. Thankfully that one went well and we have our hands full with a happy healthy 4 month old now. You can't control everything, and google is NOT your friend. Just do what you can and maybe start googling things after like 12 weeks. Good luck, rooting for you.
AIisAbutnotI
Read to them every night. Make reading a normal part of their life. FAR fewer fights over homework with the kid that loved reading.
quietwalker
Okay. So, when people tell you it gets easier, they are liars. It is hard until you get used to it, and then it's bearable, and THEN it gets harder and harder until I suspect they're 18 and leave the house.
As they get bigger, the number of problems and the scope of those problems grows and grows. They go from "poop in the diaper" to "did they drink drain cleaner? Did they swallow a battery?" to "did they bite someone at school?" to "are they getting scammed online? By a predator?" etc.
quietwalker
So enjoy it while they're young enough to manage, because it gets so, so hard. I mean, look at Biden. That's just rough.
Lillicocoho
Oooh same here! Or so I did. Acknowledge all the risks. I didn't even start invest even emotionally until 26 wks because I knew a loss would tear me apart. And you will never stop worrying! I still have no Idea what I am doing, but we love and treasure the fullest, the rest learning as you go and need. You will be great!
Xecryo
You can do it! Fully bake that creampie!
teardropivyyearofthetiger
This comment!!!
titoitoi
Onlyhereforthelaughs
Just keep in mind, miscarriages aren't the end. My mom had a miscarriage before me and my brother.
UncleGhanseau
You got this! Merely showing concern about your ability to parent indicates you'll give it all you have.
sirdouglasbuttersworth
Congrats!!! I'm still waiting for my first positive, and I would feel the exact same way if I got one. Gotta tell someone!! Oh wait hold on, not yet. But gotta tell someone! Wishing you luck for a successful and healthy pregnancy
kmikl
First, congratulations.
Second, You're going to be walking a fine balance between paranoia and blissful ignorance for a while.
Third, You'll hit places where you'll honestly wonder if you're being a good parent. Just be willing to set and hold to boundaries, and revisit that when warranted, and be flexible. You'll make mistakes, guaranteed, but everyone does, don't sweat it.
Last, CONGRATULATIONS!
Barlort
Glad you're happy OP! I wouldn't worry too much about being a good parent. The fact that you're worried about it at all says loads about how good of a parent you'll be.
charondaboatman
This. +1
LinaBea
I appreciate that 💜
titoitoi
Really hard not to worry, even stress. But just as you'll be gentle with baby, start being gentle with yourself, too. Get into a mental habit of flipping worry into positives eg 'It's a good thing I'm worrying, means I'll be as prepared as I can.' And practice counting backwards, one number per breath, eg nine-nine-nine *breath* nine-nine-eight *breath* etc, down from a thousand - cement that in as a way to turn the brain off. Gets you to sleep quicker too. You'll need quick nap ninja skills!
titoitoi
Shaodyn
I second the counting breaths thing. When I have trouble getting to sleep, that helps me turn off my brain faster.
titoitoi
started counting down from a hundred, but found that a thousand worked quicker lol
some nights I still can't count backwards through the first ten numbers before I'm off stressing again. Back-up plan: instead of stressing and restarting, guesstimate a number I might have otherwise counted, and continue from there.
like counting sheep, but advanced sheepology
EaNasirsExcellentHighGradeCopper
bad parents dont worry about the possibility of being bad parents, you know.
bladderinfection
LinemanMatt
You misread her statement. She's worried that she will be a good mom. Pure evil! /S.
landofentrapment
I’m not usually one to comment with this one word because usually it’s dumb people talking about some quote but in this case it’s 100% true. “☝️This”
Vortexhelios320
"This" it just a modern form of "Hear, Hear". People have been saying "Ditto" or other such terms for hundreds of years at least; ergo there must be a relatable human urge to second something someone says.
"And my axe" also counts, I think.
acme64
this
Foxsayy
This is wrong. Your parent can worry deeply about their behavior as a parent until they're drunk. And even spiral on it. They can worry and be misguided. They could worry for the sake of their own justification that they must be a good parent because they worry and care, and even refuse to believe otherwise because they do so.
You can absolutely worry about being a bad parent and STILL be a terrible parent.
Cindex1337
Eh, kinda. I'd say it's more likely those who worry about it, and are still bad, are probably helicopter parents.
TyrTheTired
A piece of friendly advice: You will, at some point(s), hate your baby and want to throw them out the window. Everyone does it, and, so long as you don't actually throw the baby out the window, it's a healthy thing to do. Babies are basically tiny sociopaths on drugs for at least 6 months. And, even after that, they can be assholes. They don't always know any better, but that doesn't mean they aren't. So it's okay to really dislike them sometimes, just, you know, don't throw them out the window.
abbeyrosemama
Yes. If needed, put tiny likely screaming sociopath down in a safe place and go take a break, have a snack, go in the other room and take some deep breaths, scream into a pillow, whatever, just don’t throw them out the window or shake them.
ItTookMeAGoodWhileToComeUpWithAUsername
They never know any better*
barleduqwow
My firstborn slept 6 hrs thru the night, but never anytime else. I was getting 4hrs sleep max. Around 3-4 months, before crawling, after 2 hrs scream crying, & headbutting my nose twice, I put it on the floor, went to the basement, sat next to laundry while doing it for an 40min. Went back upstairs much calmer, changed and nursed baby. Did not yeet infant out window. Bad idea, but better than worse idea.
fartharder
And remember that babies cry. If you need to step into the next room to be away from the crying sometimes that's normal, a crying baby will be fine
Freak0zoid
Can I put them in the microwave?
fartharder
No, they outgrow microwave size pretty quick
TyrTheTired
Only if you take them back out before turning it on. Also, you'll want to clean both baby and microwave very well first. And be sure to check any weight limits. And you'll want to leave the door open in case of malfunctions.
Also, if the baby poops in there, you're on your own.
HughGRecti0n
Exactly why I don’t have kids. Fuck dem kids.
ItTookMeAGoodWhileToComeUpWithAUsername
Sounds more to me like you shouldn’t have kids because you have issues. Just by the way you phrased it.
HughGRecti0n
Ok, buddy…. Nice reach. No issues here. I just like my free time and not being burdened with whiny brats.
ItTookMeAGoodWhileToComeUpWithAUsername
If kids turn into brats relies mostly if not entirely on their upbringing. You using so many foul words to describe them says a lot about yours. It’s ok to not want kids. But you make it seems as if all kids are monsters.
HughGRecti0n
Imagine making assumptions about someone’s upbringing based off Imgur comments…. Your failed analysis of what I’m about says more about you than anything else. Stick to browsing memes & a little less time trying to be an online therapist.