johnsonswej
0
5882
306
Best Tinder profile ever?
Job title is a subtle winner.
Aug 15, 2017 1:05 PM
johnsonswej
0
5882
306
Job title is a subtle winner.
izod72
"Would you fuck a bitch without a nose?"- Patrice O'Neill
DatOneGuyPosting
Is it because she is hot(regardless of the loss of one arm?)
BepBepImaShep
Guess you could say.... She's all right.
jinxmcg
I have a feeling she's right handed too
Imaginarian
Hand down
tracereading
We warned you about fisting robots.
ffilm
♪ ♫ If you're happy and you know it, ♫ clap your .......... never mind.
EvilWaffle
I bet she only puts in half the effort on a handjob
n0n53n53
*armpit job
SquidSquadSonar
Gives you a handjob while assfucking you with the stump. Good times.
hehadonechanceandhetookit
One arm's plenty for muh dicc
AlenisCenn
Or dubble, to compensate
zaqwsx82211
*hand down
HadMeSomeChickens
I'd say arms: 1.2/2
jhorbhatol10
Well I have half a personality... so together we will be fine.
jamberry
I went to high school with her. What I heard was the accident where she lost her arm was caused by her driving under the influence..
jamberry
She was also kind of a bitch in the worst way.
CaptainObvious3000
Gotta hand it to her, that job description is worth two thumbs up
MzPaige
Shut up and take my +1
empmeiisbae
she is hot
LogicDude
She's an Arms Dealer and is apparently having a 50% off sale!
jcraw58
Arm* dealer
dramkaramka
is this a god damn arms race?
iworkatkuatdriveyards
savage
LogicDude
"We're getting rid of ALL our inventory! Hurry in now!"
SneakyTex
Takes her work too seriously.
spacetorgie
insert clothes will be 100% off joke here
TyDugganWrites
http://imgur.com/oHWr6DN
randi
Looks like there's not much left!
myrtlemurrs
Here to restock, We've got 27 more singular shipments coming.
Jason1846VanHouten
ObsceneTentacularInsertions
got high on her own supply
Smagalicious
One item left! Hurry before our stock is gone!!
Shaggy350
To me it seems to be an all right deal
Listomar
Had to come back for an upvote.
WhyEvenName
It always comes in handy to upvote
noyouratowel
This is posted literally every day
DrewBerg
Well, I've never seen it.
aphallatosis
Links ease to the last 6 days straight you EMBELLISHING, WORD MISUSING SONOVABITCH!!!
agluuo
literally never seen it
BilldeGrasseHawkingTheArchaeologist
Cool but I'm glad it was posted again. Cause I haven't had the pleasure of seeing it before
eyeLied
Not literally
PoCampo
This is the third time I've seen it on the fp in the last week.
CrazyCatLad
Remember when imgur upvoted thousands of pickles to the front page?
NachoPete
I 'member!
CrazyCatLad
Pickleridge Farms remembers too.
Shanearl
I'm not gonna lie, I've been on imgur almost three years. I'm on here more than actually working at my job, and I've never seen this.
Tsamane
And it is getting boring, first time it was amusing, but now it shouldnt be getting 800 points
moneypulator
Animatronica
She is cute as all get out.
HowardMoonsHotpants
Your right arm I like very much. I've got nothing against it.
pitsigogos
The trouble is neither has she! (obligatory "one legged Tarzan": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njK6zQp2Fdk)
Wintosha
This keeps popping up as click bait on Facebook. They have no shame. "Lets make an entire article about a profile! Hurr hurr!"
SpringToMyWinter
Maybe it was last week when it was reposted the first dozen times.
n0n53n53
Repost warriors, roll out
TheBurgerKingIsHere
StRocketScience
What is this? Some sort of wood plough?
Yourfavoritebandsucks1974
[deleted]
[deleted]
anythingcanbeadildo
Neither.. wood plow
realifethings
Dagithor
Ooohhhhh
Cinemageddon
Oh DeucK
GodFuckingDamnitVanEyck
Wood plow/Would plow
GodFuckingDamnitVanEyck
In other words, he'd tap that.
MADFOX
Can some explain this to my dog please?
TheGoddamnDM
Bark bark bark. Woof woof.
HerbieRobinson
Sharpened stick pooper mover
penguinfiction
Mhmmm
KingKaz01
Wood plow
Davethomasdude
I don't get it... I thought about it so long I can't figure it out....help
fluhatinrapper
Dude just likes shovels
Iwasoutedbyatroll
Wood Plough (Would Plough)
Davethomasdude
Oh wow, I never would have got that. Thank you
FourGreenFields
As answered in another post: wood plough. Or would plough
TheDalebert
Boobs: 3/2
AmyBernadettePenny
windyroad
The White Sox need this !
phil1d
That would be handy to have
manowar669
She can't give you the clap!
NeutralBullshit
Boobs 10/10
TedTheMan
Maybe they are terribly scared with bad tattoos...
SpongebobCrotchlessPanties
Boobs 2/2
bilborrax
would you rather have a chick missing an arm or a tit?
ImperialWatch
You know the answer.
riChchestMat
I used to have a girlfriend like that, but then she gave me the elbow
TheHawkRules
tzap
Mmh. Dat skirt isn't leaving it very subtle.
joey2pies
All I see are boobs
allibaster12
20/10
CptRobotNinja
I was gonna say those are some pretty solid cans
orangeisthenewbasic
you should go to a doctor
CDsnutz
Still has 2 of those
jherazob
A good number
FerbErrger
She's definitely trying to get you to buy the whole house by using a nice front porch.
JMcDank
wilima
Three of them. One is not covered.
Prometh3An
hrhg
All she wants you to see are boobs!
SirStrongBad
Mission status: ACCOMPLISHED
coolhandluuk
She can't wear a bra. Need another hand to put it on! Not complaining. Just saying.
ShooterMcGrabbin
Would you fuck a chick who has no legs(consensual obviously)? Discuss
notmyrealface
I am not really that into chickens.
MrMcSpiff
Nah, 'cause the one I know is a lesbian.
TheeBarfDog
Yeah. I would knock her socks off....... if she had any
JeffJuice
Easy access, you got plenty of leg room.
ifuckdragons
Sure, why not?
pareidoliaperson
I should be glad I'm fucking.
turbodog
Well, she couldn't later sue you for child support. She wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
Ryanator50
well, yeah duh. I don't give a fuck about legs or feet.
MrNoodlemansbrother
You people are sick. Funny. But sick.
Bearmandog
Exclusively
Ivanaski
Probably
GeorgeGrimaldo
Yes I would,
Pally01
so hard she wouldn't be able to walk for days afterwards
RelativeVelocity
Yeah... but as someone with a foot fetish, I'd be a little bummed
Youcantsaychickswithdicksanymore
Can't run away after disappointing 38 second sex....
JasonMasterBateman
My brother once said his ideal woman would have no legs. You'd just put her on your dick and spin her
ArdentSlacker
That can lend you in the hospital getting your dick repaired. They ain't built for torsion. Lube is not optional for this.
Bearmandog
Just saw the consensual stipulation. I'm out.
ShooterMcGrabbin
although I already know the answer is yes because this is imgur usersub and we're all a lil fucky round here
GuardsmanMiku
you had me at 'would you fuck a chick'
swedishpancakeswithlingonberries
When I was 25ish a co-worker, who was around 50 at the time, told me that "Pussy is pussy, it just has different wrappers." So, yes I would
bekisquad24
Thats terrible advice in my opinion
TheShittierBeatles
An old coworker of mine said something similar. "Only thing better than pussy is new pussy."
memeseeks
Why not?
Phischstaebchen
If there's love, who cares for missing limbs?
daveisamonster
Is she alive? If so then yes.
SkrimplyPibbles
If no, then also yes
Ryanator50
corpses can't give consent, so yes
YaHeardTurdFerguson
KeeleonOhms
They cant say no either.
daveisamonster
Still have to ask the mortician
ForgivingCat
Not if that's the only thing she's got going for her.
Ryanator50
well yeah, she needs to have good personality and sense of humor.
letspoopandbrowse
Con sensual si, sin sensual, no.
gsuscryst
Gracias
Hammerhead777
Siiii
TacticalCamper
This is one of the best answers i ve seen here. Ever.
EroticZombiePants
You could spin her like a top on your dick and not worry about being accidentally kicked in the face.
ArdentSlacker
Sounds good, but... uh... some folks that try that have it go badly. You go from lovin' to "degloving". Dicks ain't built for torsion.
edissick
Ah the kebab. Good move
JohnnyWalkerTexas
xD
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Ahahahaha Im fucking dying! You caught me so off guard I had to comment again.
RickRollable
My wife would cut my balls off if I did
RelativeVelocity
Then they wouldn't drag on the ground when you're banging half pint
fluhatinrapper
Chop her legs off
youtah
iamacasual
This is an underrated comment
Blrp0
Maybe get yourself a new wife who wouldn't cut your balls off. Try the legless chick; she's at least easier to run away from.
SKELETONMAAAN
At least you'd get to keep your legs
meanMemes
only if I found her in the discount hooker bin. and I'd only choose her as act of empathy and pity. consensual? itsNOT like she can run away
sciencebasedlifeform
Excuse please...where might one find this bin you speak of?
ItCanOnlyBeANipple
But it's the implication...
TroelsyTwo
I'd fuck a dude with no legs. I wouldn't "fuck" a dude with no penis. The penis is pretty important. The longer they've lived with the /1
TroelsyTwo
lack of limbs, the better they are at first ding alternatives. So as long as there's a penis, and a fab person, I'm game.
TroelsyTwo
finding*
ChameleonFacedGoon
other people can get into it, but it would be too weird for me. Maybe if only one leg was missing
LittleLordThudleroy
When she came over my place would be crawling with pussy.
GuW69
Well, you got to keep the floors clean, or breadcrums...
ShooterMcGrabbin
woodstock50042
Hell no- you ever seen the mess a slug makes!?
slapmethrice
Who would consent to having no legs??!!
Zokathra
If she has bone cancer on both?
somecallmetimmmmkay
Snooj
Well, you asked: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvY2ScZBCtQ
Luciaquenya
oh god
BillCosbysPharmacy
You're the best thing ever
slapmethrice
Thank you, but I'm really just like you. Except probably not as good, in several areas.
ShooterMcGrabbin
haha ever hear about those people who identify as disabled and want to get operations to cripple themselves?
TheReverseShock
Remember watching a documentary on this a long time ago. They would go out of there way to inflict self harm so they would get an amputation
TheFabulousFuehrer
Body dysmorphia. Quite severe mental illness though, not just a phase like the tumblr kids.
goatfkersdidnothingwrong
Gender dysphoria is a severe mental illness too.
Thecooljonny
bigmee
I saw a special about a guy who dipped his leg in liquid nitrogen so the emergency crew would be forced to amputate it.
ShooterMcGrabbin
yeah it's a weird one to be sure, hard to say what to tell someone like that haha
TheFabulousFuehrer
"You need professional help", I'd say. At least if they're about to go through with actually crippling themselves.
ForTheSwarm
tumblr kids are a phase? Noted.
TheFabulousFuehrer
I assume, yeah. I generally don't take any strong positions made by people under 25 seriously, because of the shit I spewed back then.
Sacurason
As a foot fetishist, it'd kind of a non-starter for me :|
Shimobe
What if she had phantom-limb syndrome?
ArdentSlacker
She could have several pairs of prosthetics. You could borrow 'em.
Sacurason
Errrrr I only like living flesh :D
KABARU
Of course. It'd be perfect because she'd be used to being let down.
TheCur
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
usernumberseven
khakilackin
Hehehe
lammyne
What is this from?
StateOfPlague
.
LogicDude
HELL. YES.
Brizzly1146
Welp. This is enough for me.
GarnerLeidy
You are disgusting. And absolutely accurate.
fluhatinrapper
She can only wear short shorts
SirPimpsalot
I wonder if her labia is calloused from dragging it everywhere. It'll be like a meatloaf. Crust on the outside and soft on the inside...
SluntBiggums
Nigga how long she been dragging her pussy on the ground?
CNBFTBGB
Lmao I always wondered about that
LogicDude
Too damn long mah nigga she NEED to put it in my lap!
Tissueaccount
mrdude88
And she'll some how end up saying, "sorry, I can't be with a guy with...(something about your body)" And, you're like, "Seriously bitch!"
SassySEVhatespantsAlways
She's in remarkable shape for missing a good chunk of what makes cardio possible, go her!
Junktrunkjunkie
Limbless people can still swim. One of the best cardio exercises there is. And she's already dressed for the occasion
[deleted]
[deleted]
SassySEVhatespantsAlways
At first I was like how does she do crunches without the counterweight of legs but I guess straps would work
bekisquad24
This gym I used to go to had a spin machine for the arms https://youtu.be/wSOL05XmkTs
ChiLLeCheeze
Well... she'll never have to worry about skipping leg day. Or skip at all for that matter.
Ansatsunin
The possible positions alone..
TheBrokenRuler
You could like spin her around with the d inside
SovereignPhantasmia
Lmfaoooo dude what the fuck
Ansatsunin
I was just thinking of how no legs in the way means easier access to the coochy, from many more angles and positions. But sure, a 1/?
Ansatsunin
chinese basket fuck would work marvellously. 2/2
IcemanChilled
Like a pornographic life-size fidget spinner.
Cinemageddon
Is her name Ubi Soft?
rawbske
Because she's only half done? I don't think a day one patch ous going to fix this.
Cinemageddon
I was going to say because of the clipping...but that works too.