youcantdothatontv
196126
5942
72
Wow, this is my first front page. Sends boobs. Be gentle, it’s my first time.
Jun 6, 2018 10:19 PM
youcantdothatontv
196126
5942
72
Wow, this is my first front page. Sends boobs. Be gentle, it’s my first time.
nihari
Filanwizard
If this is legit and not an Imgur story, I can just say Epic Prison Break.
NerdN1
Look up Juan Pujol. WWII double agent. Got medals from both sides of the war. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Pujol_Garc%C3%ADa
moodytravesty
So how did he arrange to have himself pick himself up?
gablona
Operator:will you accept a collect call from Dr. Fister?
Darzok
He did a lot more he just walked out of prison like 2-3 times before he did this.
RVME
Brillian criminal. Too bad he didn't learn how to code and become a programmer instead.
ReleaseTheBeeees
And then told everyone like a nob
youwouldnotgetit
I feel like some information is missing how did he suddenly get out of Texas.
hikingaroundandsuch
Sounds like more work than just not breaking the law!
ToastedTHC
Doesn't this guyhave a movie made about him? I love you Philip Morris?? He ended back in prison..
OfficerBob
I knew this inmate when I worked in ad seg as a CO
madings
Well, Garret *is* a master thief.
Schroedinger85
dahana Prisions
MonarchOfTheSea
“Doctor”
Kopar
well, 99 if we know about it.
IllBeThereForYouTheCaptainSaidIHadTo
WhySoSeverusSnape
Why would you be mad?
pyroshen
This seems fake. IF he got as far as being set to volunteer for a fake study, how did he leave? They wouldn't just let him walk out the door
youcantdothatontv
Watch the movie and find out
ilovecosmetics
Sauce or it’s fake.
PackageForTonyStank
But how did he get out? He convinced the prison he was part of this 'experiment', sure, but who came to take him out of jail?
IrukandjiJelly
His buddy?
Theron2290
Come on let him go...he deserves it at that point.
rmiGod
Turns out he is in a 23hours lockup prison. I mean, at that point I'd rather be sentenced to death.
mycircusmymonkeyz
Exactly...I feel like he earned it.
BootyistheTruestFormofArt
Forgery is opposed only by forgery.
VivTheKitsune
And no one takes forgery
Amesang
It's also not a "trained-only" skill, so magic items that grant bonuses to it is free game…
squirrelfury
This isn't the way prisons operate in Texas.
Thismuchistrue
openthedoorgetontheflooreverybodydothedinosaur
this is one of my favorite episodes, funky music and tag team action in an office building
shoopdaawhoop
DoctorDonna is the best Doctor
auntyjess0073
Donna Noble has left the library...
SageyMae
Donna Noble has been saved.
leonardcohen545
and we know this how....?
BlossomAM
Hopefully not personal experience.
PlusHooks
https://www.google.com/search?q=steven%20russell
AlaSnackbar
He's brilliant! - Oprah
AwesomeTeddybear
He started a newspaper.. and that newspaper's name?
MnightShariaLaw
The Onion
ShenanigansForHireExperiencedBeerTasterAndCraicFacilitator
The Daily Plarplet.
brianclementsvatua
Robert Paulson
scooterneverhurtnobody
Me, Myself and Irene
Sn4f
Albert Einstein? I'm not good at this game
AwesomeTeddybear
Stalin
MsDavidAttenborough
Albert Einstein
absoliutenus
they had a documentary on him on Discovery channel . Almost got away with it . And they dedicated a whole movie about it .
lenomdeplume
Same Producer/Director as their highly acclaimed series on Mermaids.
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
Name of the doc?
ProgeriaProstitutes
Albert Einstein
absoliutenus
he called it in while he was in prison, acting like he was the doctor. there was no actual doctor
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
Should have phrased that differently, I meant the name of the documentary about it
scooterneverhurtnobody
Dumb and Dumber
Revokingthesealofquality
No, he was the Doc all along. It was a trick.
absoliutenus
he only got caught because he was trying to get his boyfriend out. he probably regrets it all now . he was home free and off the radar
imgursmyfirstluv
Hahaaa
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
Sorry, I meant the documentary
RDragonforce
Isn't that the truth? What is it then?
SFMGifs
What got him caught?
ArchDukeArchibald
The meddling kids
emnudge
The documentary
absoliutenus
he had a boyfriend in prison at the time , he got an ID printed out as US marshal I believe and the printing company called it in. avalanche
absoliutenus
afterwards
Redwind007
Avalanche works :D i like to think you meant it as "and then one thing led to another" "unstoppable motion of events"
astinus
Like, he got caught in an avalanche? That's some bad luck!
papertiger09
This is what the movie I Love You, Phillip Morris is about.
dlarrydlarry
Such an amazing movie
RRDFree
.
StarRunner0
smirkinghighgardenwhore
.
GeorgeRRZimmerman
.
ButtholeMarsBarDispenser
Such a fucking good movie
Mistress0fMayhem
Great and funny movie, especially if you're a fan of Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor
scooterneverhurtnobody
And Dumb and Dumber
TogepiOmelette
did you even watch that movie?!
scooterneverhurtnobody
Which one?
Drewdude
One of the best movies ive ever seen
HillarysEmails
.
ZakAttacksJacks
.
iswearyoucantrustme
Dot
redwesley
Seriously underrated movie.
TogepiOmelette
I loved that movie. You just prompted me to watch it again
AcquiredSire
.
LePuma
I've got a copy you can borrow, just pay the shipping.......or you could just suck my dick.
MayTheTriforceBeWithU
I get the reference +1
BioWeaR
.
MaadMaanMaatt
Phenomenal movie
GeorgeHWBushsGhost
.
whatisthisidonteven111
.
DoThyDootyShowThyBooty
.
Bozmobile
Fake AIDS with laxatives? Uh wouldn’t they like have idk tested his blood? Well his test keeps coming back negative but look at them poops.
halefire
All you people get It!! Thank you!
NotHardly
Ok... prison medical expertise... testing... OK, let's add those two decimals together and see what we get....:)
MLGsamantha
I'm guessing this is back when they thought you could get aids by shaking someone's hand.
donorkort
They looked up the symptoms "runny tummy" on WebMD, and it correctly diagnosed it as cancer and/or AIDS. I don't see a problem.
LetMePickMyTeethThenHaveMoreChips2
probably didn't want to touch him. Texas.
plaguedhorse
Do you really think they'd have cared enough to actually make sure he had AIDS? They saw a sick prisoner and offloaded him first chance.
Alphahi
This my have been during the time where it was scary and they might have wanted to send him out ASAP.
capnsebastian
You're so cute
MaintenanceGuyHere
Cant imagine having healthy poops in prison to begin with
Pigdogcow
I read that the guards tasted his poop and claimed it had AIDS flavor to it.
pfshfine
Yeah, He should probably have Alchemy 100 for that part.
Shellzie2010
Initial HIV infection can manifest as gi symptoms. Also, there are opportunistic infections that cause diarrhea in aids patients
FirstThingThatCameToMind
A guy tells you he has aids and the first thing you wanna do is touch his blood?? Alright man
popejubal
There was this doctor who was going to do the testing for them. It was mentioned in the OP, I think.
jasonvoorheesbrotherjosh
Watch i love you phillip morris
HaveYouSeenJeff
"Fukkin Texas" :P
HonestCommentFarmer
If this was before the era of 10-minute blood tests, it's probable that bloodwork took too time.
fitzon
Probably back when HIV wasn't well understood and there wasn't a test readily available.
ISayFuckAllTheTime
There's a 3-6 month window in which you can't detect AIDS in bloodwork, during which time it can spread like wildfire. Constant illness,
ISayFuckAllTheTime
emaciation, and the spots that would appear from the low iron and dehydration, are often enough to cause a tentative diagnosis. Dunno the
ISayFuckAllTheTime
case, but I spent a lot of time helping my dad study medicine (and he successfully became a doctor, go papa!), so that's what I immediately
ISayFuckAllTheTime
thought of before even reading your comment.
IwentLookingForWhatTheBiggestIdiotHasToSayAndHereYouAre
I mean, those tests take months and are probably expensive.
whatkatydid
Testing kits for AIDS are relatively cheap (30$) and can take under 5 minutes. You can even test saliva or blood at home.
IwentLookingForWhatTheBiggestIdiotHasToSayAndHereYouAre
not definitively. The protocol is that if its positive on the fast test, they have to send out to a lab for confirmation, which does take>
IwentLookingForWhatTheBiggestIdiotHasToSayAndHereYouAre
>a while
PrincessPatrick
Watch the movie. It explains it all in the movie. Its also just a really good movie
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
"I love you Philip Morris" with Ewen McGregor and Jim Carrey, I think.
ienjoythings
What movie?
BendyDicksCumOnMyBaps
.
ShenanigansForHireExperiencedBeerTasterAndCraicFacilitator
Apocalypse Now.
DumbBr0ad
Dude, Wheres My Car?
Chaltione
The music video for Darude - Sandstorm
TheUnsolicitedDuckPic
Cock Gobblers 3 - Thanksgiving Gay
scooterneverhurtnobody
Dumb and Dumber
ienjoythings
Occideo
Cool runnings
TheRicM
I think if you say, "Watch the movie" or something similar, you should say what movie it is lol
JapAnus
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Notanyoneyoukno
Its i love you phill morris
TheRicM
Thanks!
SmartHasTheBrainsButStupidHasTheBalls
The Passion of the Christ
TheRicM
Username checks out
cyanm
It's Texas. Their science is "Jesus or Jesus"
TheGreatWhiteWolf
As a Texan, I reluctantly admit that this is the case for a lot of the state. It gets worse the further south you go. As does the waistline.
TK421isAFK
Go even further south, and it becomes Jesusvand Hay-Zues.
tlawjo
Yeah... Houston doesn't have one of the best medical centers in the world or anything.
ideologist
Y'all got any more of that... Jesus?
cyanm
Have a seat, have a plate of mesquite smoked brisket, some rye whiskey, and let me tell you about Jesus
TyrantJester
You had me at Jesus.
NeStreets
Oh boy, are you guys talking about Jesus?! Love me some Jesus.
broguyman
It wasn't really about the poop as much as it was about looking emaciated. Taking laxatives is like bulimia but w/ obvious diffs. Still 1/2
TheseArentTheDroidsImLookingFor
TIL lose weight on the cheap with laxatives!
AnAverageBrazillian
Chronic use of laxatives will DESTROY your guts. The rest of your body will start to deteriorate soon after.
ZOMGNO
On the down side.... it starts fucking up your body and eventually you can't poop without laxatives! YAY!
SerenePrincess013
You can also do it with some pretty bad food allergies. Poops are poops, yo.
Pusilanimous
Google guy with 11 lb poop. Or don’t. Probably don’t. My dog weighs 11 lbs. My children weren’t 11 lbs until 2 months old. Imagine?!
Pusilanimous
Oh God. Google gets worse there are 28-30 lb poops surgically removed. Don’t do it. Don’t look!
Pusilanimous
Bulimics go so far as to weigh their food & the poo to make sure it’s all out. Source: I had a roommate I don’t like to talk about often.
neufala
True crazy, since that wouldn't even work. usable calories turn to H2O and CO2 just roughage and some water goes to poo.
Pusilanimous
Indeed. Since the math never worked out she also obsessively exercised. She eventually got the help she needed.
fistermatic5000
I hoped he/she weighed his/herself before and after pooping.
Pusilanimous
No she would weigh barf and poop in little cups using a scale. Her room. The smell. We helped her mom clean when she went to rehab
broguyman
You're right about the blood work
iamthemachine
maybe they were nervous about taking the blood cuz theodds of its spreading to them? it was a while ago if i recall with the mega fear of it
amoeba15
Depends on when this occurred. Initially there was no reliable testing.
MyFavouriteHoodie
But that would be carried out and sent away by the doctor
Rawrihazshotgun
Well thats probably why he would have posed as a doctor probably druing the time where they either haven't tested him yet or we're going to.
Hardcore04
He had HIV already. But it hadn't developed into AIDS yet. So the blood work was sound.
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
Maybe this was way early before they would think to check blood first.
clutchthepearls
It was