DrGreenskies
21557
440
13
Rufus tax
irisewithredeyes
#1 Found these apples and cheese in this 5000 years old tomb... better eat that shit...
ThadisJones
#18 ONE octopus? You have about 5 thousand to 10 thousand. Per milliliter of blood. They grab germs with their tentacles and eat them to keep you safe.
TheConnArtist
#26 time for a Jurassic 1 reboot
byronwilliams4010
#14 Do kids still make crossbows out of click pens like we used to?
Marikhen
#1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fZue8dFeiw
Lampmonster
#5 More evidence that my cat actually runs on dog software. He loves people. He's always happy. He's not particularly food motivated. He also plays fetch and comes when I call him.
Bam906
#1 isn't this the premise of pretty much any Terminator movie lol
TanoPrime
#12 just don’t, ok?
klean9
#1 my Ukrainian father-in-law was trying to get away from the Nazis and Soviets at the end of WWII. He played dead in a pile of corpses in a building being searched by Nazis. He had some nice boots and a local collaborator pulled them off him. A Nazi officer liked the boots too, so he shot the local in the head and he took the boots instead, before setting the house on fire.
meowingintensifies
manystripes
#12 Do not show your mobile boarding pass to the groundhog in the airport security line
pumpactionsunshine
#13 2nd post sounds like malicious compliance. Worth looking into to spice up your workplace.
xxFUBDxx
#28 This is washy wishy, jabber jibber and got its definition all cross crissed.
annwynsidhe1
Congrats, you definitely got me to wince
sockshoesockshoe
Roll Rick
gcleff19101
#12 is this one actually confusing? I think it's hilarious they had to make a sign for that in the first place people are so fucking stupid.
DefinitelyNotAPenguinSpy
#12 no selfie sticks in the enclosure
gummyloaf
#8 I super believe in you Tad Cooper
MayMayz4DayzYo
#12 Dont hold selfie sticks inside the enclosures.
BlueDsc
#1 I've murdered plenty of people in Fallout or Elder Scrolls because "ooh, I like your outfit."
gcleff19101
#14 all the time when I was in school. Was like field stripping a rifle or something.
gatormarc
#12 Don't reach over the barricade with a selfie stick to take photos of the animals.
ChickenTendercles
Or: No selfies with groundhogs while churning butter.
gtollie
#21 link to the video . I’m sure they give details ?? Personally, I’m going with A
Hangonthere
#14 You can build a perfect cannon with that.
NightOwlRally
#24 wasn't this depicting Arachne after Hera (or whoever it was) turned her into a spider because she was so jealous of her beauty?
thricebakedxyz
If you put the spring between the two push button parts and reinstall it. You can shoot the one piece out by pushing the button
wdr1977
Cheeseburger on cheeseburger crime isn't real crime.
CitrusyGarlic
Oh sure, that's what Big Hamburger would love us to believe
lgkinasen
McRib in the stockroom with a bone shiv.
LookNoHands119
#2 My personal head cannon of what happens next:
HADES: If you want, I could…. unconfuse you.
*Hades & Ares Proceed to Have Unbelievably Hot Underworld Gay Sex*
CitrusyGarlic
#28 - Oh yea? What about the phrase "eat shit"?
CrumbyCake
Verb-noun, not quite the same
Sonicschilidogs
I think it has to do with the number of vowels and vowel sounds in the words. The only example with 2 vowels coupled is "Laugh" in "Live, Laugh, Love", but the "ugh" makes an "ff" sound. Where as "eat" has an "ea" which changes the sound of the vowels..... Idk though, I'm not a language nerd, I just noticed the pattern because I'm a math nerd.
CitrusyGarlic
"If there are only two words, I is the first followed by either A or O"
"Eat shit" is an E followed by an I
MacroMoray
#2 why is ares involved? Aphrodite is married to hephaestus
3Davideo
Zeus hastily arranged that so there wouldn't be major god-on-god conflicts on who got to marry her. Of course, being Zeus, there was still plenty of room for infidelities, and Ares is one of her favorite squeezes.
gronzilla
Might be why Ares is confused as hell
sushipig
Hephaestus was lame in one leg and rarely left his forge. Aphrodite, being a godess of passionate love, was frequently unfaithful to him and had many lovers such as the human Adonis. In the Odyssey, she is caught in the act of adultery with Ares, the god of war. Ares and Aphrodite had several children together, such as Phobos (Fear) and Deimos (Terror.) The moons of Mars are named after them.
JadeNB1729
You think Aphrodite isn't going to appreciate getting romantic favors from everyone?
CitrusyGarlic
#1 - When I was seven my cousin who was nine died, and suddenly I had double the amount of clothes that I had before. I was not at all permitted to speak to how weird that felt to me.
JamieSays
When I was a small child there were sets of clothes already around for another small child. A weird suit in my closet for a kid. I wore it to school one day.
Turns out that my dad ran over and killed a brother of mine before I was born. It was my dead half brothers clothes, and he probably only wore the suit while dead.
Skawomplious
Super weird. That's the kind of thing that puts people into therapy when they're 40.
CitrusyGarlic
lol, I was in therapy long before that
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
I was not expecting such an emotional admission from someone named CitrusyGarlic today.
CitrusyGarlic
...with onion, salt, lime, red pepper, bay leaves, coriander, cumin, black pepper, bitter orange, oregano, cilantro, basil, lemon, marjoram and a tiny touch of parsley. Most people find me to be delicious!
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
I have decided on a whim to screenshot this and actually make the spice blend. (In the creepiest voice possible(as a joke)) I'll be tasting you soon MUHAHAHAHA
CitrusyGarlic
3Davideo
At least it's not CitrussyGarlic.
CitrusyGarlic
Don't be hating, some people like their Citrussy garlicky ;-)
swedeonamoose
#1 finding a 2h greatsword of goblin slaying on a tiny goblin who just a second ago was only waving a lil shiv at you.
Karr
Way back when.. EverQuest would have the mobs wield the item they had.. You'd see skeletons with swords of staves, and go after them first, cause they did more damage, and dropped things that sold!
lgkinasen
I never once passed up any mob using a staff. Didn't matter how rich I ever was, that dopamine hit of 1 free platinum never wore off.
Farming rat whiskers for 7 copper, and suddenly you have a whole platinum?! It was the lottery jackpot.
Gerokeymaster
Diablo 2: kill a swarm of tiny bugs and it drops an entire suit of plate armor, a dozen gold coins, and a book.
lgkinasen
"You have found THE BOOK! Now, busy yourself while I study the secrets within it." - Alkor the Alchemist
LunarSol357
Dark Souls basically makes its story by putting specific items and specific enemies in specific places and expecting you to figure out how they got there.
lgkinasen
Dark Souls does that with core worldbuilding. Fallout puts a skeleton in a bathroom stall surrounded by 13 Jangles the Moon Monkey and seven empty boxes of Mentats.
ChazzK
This is my favorite aspect of Fallout lore. What started as bored programmers doing a silly ended up being relatively consistent and spawned an entire sub-culture of "WTF IS GOING ON IN THE WASTELAND" theories
lgkinasen
Some of it gets dark, like the guy who locked himself in a fridge and starved in darkness in 76. So much emotion in such a little moment.
CitrusyGarlic
Y'all gotta stop playing these garbage phone RPGs, the last few PC RPGs I've played have done a pretty good job at not only dropping the same gear that you can visibly see the baddie wearing/using, but of never finding anything other than animal products on the dead animals, and of not dropping powerful gear in early areas and garbage gear in later areas.
Dyamonde
All Owlcat Games do this (Pathfinder, Rogue Trader). You empty out a base of shiv wielding bandits and afterwards you can open a knife-shop. You want a cool unique weapon? You gotta survive the Boss using it on you first.
OnlyOneArman
Ah, yes, Diablo 2, that famous phone game
knotwingknot
WoW was pretty infamous for its global drop table uncommons and rares being silly. Among other weird drop choices. I didn't even consider the shitty phone game thing.
ID1746
It still does *picks up mace from a dead wolf*
CitrusyGarlic
lol right, and seeing how it's been a good decade and a half since I played WoW, I wasn't including it in my example
TheAnswerIsViolence
You didn't include ANY examples. You said "phone rpgs" while WoW might be the biggest example of what is being talked about.
What games you playing with perfect loot tables?
CitrusyGarlic
Where is this word "perfect" coming from? I said that they did a good job of it, not that they were perfect