conankid
239152
5345
143
Scary story.
Jul 20, 2017 3:20 PM
conankid
239152
5345
143
shadowheart65
Funny as I read this I am also shitting while squatting like a toad.
Janusha
Cool story bro. This never happened.
BuddyNobody
StabTheFire
My drum major did the same thing to me at a competition, but I wasn't sitting like a frog and he didn't visibly piss himself
OuroborosX
Everyone in this story is too human.
dghammer
Makes for a tense class reunion.
SockPuppetEpicness
If you change the y, s, and x in the url to lower case, you get a naked model
drakewarnock
wat
spamstafford
...How did you figure this out?
SockPuppetEpicness
I'm bored
Scienski
This is my brothers greentext. It's also a true story
AngelicOrb
I heard a story that a kid did that in USAF BMT and they couldn't find him. Apparently he undresses, picks up his clothes and squats to shit
korvkiosk
His be like:
Vitrum
I'm crying. In standing in line at the bank, trying not to laugh out loud, like an idiot.
AnnieGoolahee
Sounds like he needs a squatty potty.
MistressLyda
Similar: /a/pMUyW
drd3rp
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/05/19/15/28DC83BA00000578-3087845-image-m-36_1432044545360.jpg legit
Blomstermalin
@Krical
unavailableyourcallcantgothruasdialed
I laughed way too hard after reading this
rollinwithlorenzointhebenzo
He was shit-scared
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Had to pee once waiting for elevator in my apartment building. REALLY had to pee. Live on top floor, 48 second trip. Start jumping... 1/n
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
up and down like a crazy person going up. Elevator stops and doors open between 2 floors. And THIS was the day I peed in our elevator.
Falos
6/10, didn't start with "I got a story about this"
charlierunkle
"A story about this" About pissing yourself??? What was the topic
amop
The consensus seems to be pissing yourself but I'm gonna guess walking in on someone else going to the bathroom is viable
lurkerwithacamera
Pissing yourself
ThatswhatIwasthinking
That's what I was thinking
GasBandit
Given that it's that four chan, pissing yourself was probably the topic.
The4ChanHacker
you never know
AuntSharron
Exactly! "Watching other people make a shit" could also fit just as easily
BlownByTheMonsignor
Wait until your 20th HS reunion to have a good laugh about it
GendouLovesDucklings
Red Dwarf, Cat, 'Backwards.'
CurbsideWhiskey
>turd retracts back into rectum
StrayFilms
Go in the urnal you fuck
AMitchellW
The fuck I just read
droopydanglins
I remember that thread. It was about how weird third world people shit, then devolved into a anti /pro squatty potty fight.
DarthVaderYouHater
I always cough or clear my throats really load so I don't have to make this face when I'm walked in on.
Amoracchius
My sides hurt from laughing at those poor creatures.
TheMachineKill3r
Look at that little baby!
EndangeredSpyCrab
It's weird how no one tried to correct you yet...
DarthVaderYouHater
It's the internet of course someone has... Look up 3 comments.
Sticklebrickk
"Get it, Jerry!" "I'm trying Helen!"
blueeyecherrypie
Poor bush babies
[deleted]
[deleted]
DarthVaderYouHater
Then they push on the door and you have to either say something to them or they might slide under the door WWE ring style. Just cough & win.
forte10
No I'm imagining someone actually sliding under a locked stall door for....reasons that escape me.
iamthisguy247
If he's squatting, he's left you an opening. Piss in there while he's shitting. Who knows, this may be the start of a life long friendship.
PropainAndPropainAccesories
He's right if you can split the log before it falls it means you have met your soul mate.
Lunavalve
Awwwww!
InsolventTacos
Also, assert dominance.
AuntSharron
Only if you pee on his poo to mark it though
DanOrtega
Show your snake to his turtle. Discuss and giggle. Go full Broke Back Mountain.
AfroSamuraiRM
Carabiner96
Just dont cross the streams. Or in this case dont waterlog him.
VanBuren43
Take it.
forte10
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
IsuckAsthis
skyboFoodRunner
That's some fucked up shit right there, too crazy to be fake
kbone
I had a buddy (230 pound rugby flanker) get wasted in a giant carrot costume and sparta kick down a bathroom stall on a little kid shitting
kbone
By accident, of course
Yummyyummytacoz
that's how some Mexicans shit in the bathrooms on my jobsite. you see boot prints on the seats pretty commonly
rickeyspanish
I dont believe it. If u really have to piss that bad, the urinals are always before the stalls. Empty bathroom? no reason to not use urinals
votfgz
maybe he's swedish
lawlschool88
"Truth is stranger than fiction." Don't get ppl claiming crazy stories are "fake." Just b/c their lives are boring doesn't mean others' are
B99Reactions
Just because peoples lives crazy doesnt mean theyre not boring or that they're fun
VIAI
completelyunreIated
#sometimesthingshappentopeople
FutherMuckerJ0nes
Similar thing happened to my brother. He was going to use a gender less bathroom and the door wasn't locked but a Vietnamese girl was (1/2)
FutherMuckerJ0nes
Squatting over the toilet. He left the second he saw it was occupied but he was accused of sexual assault by the girl.
FutherMuckerJ0nes
Moral of the story. Always check to see if a bathroom is occupied
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
I expect more honesty from 4chan. Things are anonymous, and there's no upvotes for dipshits to get addicted to.
BoozeHound001
Not only that but the kinds of people on 4chan...I'd expect nothing less from them.
vitfall
Cool. Have an upvote, dipshit.
Leviosoooohhhh
In all its fucked upness that it can be, 4chan is without a doubt one of the most honest boards out there
NiceCatchBlancoNinoTooBadYourAssGotSacked
Eh, yes and no. If you don't tow the party line on 4chan you'll get shit on and ridiculed. Only difference is you can just sneak out.
skyboFoodRunner
Good point
OlekBarschtson
No, there are no points, that's their point
TotinosPizzaRolls
But there are dubs and trips
YepatitusCee
But... but... I thought there were no points...
OlekBarschtson
Exactly
WaffleCopters
Unfortunately this just translate into how big of a thread you can make. People on the internet are still people on the internet.
TheMovieGalaxyQuest
/a/8lOog
Biteymcbiteface
Much easier to Shit when squatting
KlocB
#squatlife
PleaseMindTheGap
And apparently it has more health benefits as well
Klingon00
Much easier to shit on the seat...
Falos
Leaning over imitates correct pose, can put books under feet. Thinking about buying a wee bench to put in my bathroom, lift knees.
FelixTheAnimator
One of my sons potty trained himself. He *only* poos while squatting on the seat like a gargole.
ACerealKiller
Rectum isnt getting pintched
WelcomeToTheShatterdome
He needs to buy a squatty potty then. I've seen the commercial. It looks amazing.
katanatripsis
Just get one of those collapsible step stools. Cheaper, same effect.
Juggernut
Two words for you: Full Elimination.
Biteymcbiteface
Hard to bring to school though
LizardsInTheSky
Not if you don't give those kinds of shits
HarryPotterReferenceProbably
This is no joke.
CalmyKingBee
I personally ONLY squat while shitting. #GymsHateMe
Strostkovy
I personally ONLY shit while squatting #GymsHateMe
valkyrie9
What?!?!? Is this real???
Jocktopus
I squat when I shit and it takes me less than 4 minutes to get it out.
themuttonisniceandlean
I apologise for this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
raidleadergutts
Lol what about this surprises you so much? How do you not know this?
valkyrie9
I don't know I guess it's just not normal for where I was raised lol
meencontreconunarusaquesabiaquenataliaoreiroerauruguaya
Its how nature intend it to be
Biteymcbiteface
Yes. Very real. It's recommended if you have trouble unloading
DeltaBlast
It's also recommended if you don't have trouble. It's just far more natural and easy.
valkyrie9
What if you miss?
Mistruths
Bring an extra magazine.
valkyrie9
Man I don't know about this lol
Biteymcbiteface
Then you clean it up
DeltaBlast
How could you miss? A toilet is pretty big, man.
valkyrie9
Not a man, and how do you aim when you have your feet on the seat? Lol I can't believe this is real
whatsthisusernameofwhichyouspeak
Put a step stool (hihi), or something in front of the toilet if you're worried about missing. Even a little bit more leverage helps a lot.