crazycatlady1996
125057
2373
134
Oct 20, 2017 5:43 PM
crazycatlady1996
125057
2373
134
whyWontKeiraKnightleyReturnMyPhoneCalls
I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry about your balls...
Eggatha
sollenwir
clipping your nails helps you: we are NOT trying to pull them out, so just relax for once goddammit.
thelostfaith
What can I do better for you? You do everything for me perfect and I wouldn't change anything. Please teach me return
wobblecopterr
"Leave the cookies on the floor" -doggo probably
fairybug
"I love you both equally, so quit arguing. Thanks for chasing off those creepy guys. Stop yanking the lead when we have walkies."
tinycutepolypan
What she said.
TargaryenLoyalist
We only make you wear the cone because you won’t stop messing with the stitches. It’s a safety measure, not a punishment. I still love you.
bwizzle360
I'd say "woof, woof woof woof." And he be like, lol, my owner crazy.
DrBacon27
STOP BARKING AT PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET!
atoyot
I got you to combat crippling loneliness and you're doing a bang-up job. I'm sorry I'm not always able to love you as much as you deserve.
WouldYouIfIAsked
if she cheats, pee on her shoe. If she hurts you, pee on her side of the bed
petitenova
“I know you’re scared but when you bark at the other dogs and growl you’re just egging them on and scaring their owners. I love you.”
LeggoMyEggo69
OMG, you can hear me! I know you have been abused, neglected, and unloved all those years. I loved you and would do anything for you.
BatmansUnderPantsAreSoSoft
I DIDN'T MEAN TO STEP ON YOU IM SO SORRY LET ME LOVE YOU.
TheGoodKingOfImgur
This one is best
Remishnok
Lmao that summarices my k9 experience
Ohmygodimkenny
Try only shitting on 1 side of the yard and quit fucking pissing on the patio furniture.
Starrkprimera
You are the single greatest thing to happen to me. Your steadfast loyalty and selfless love kept me together. We don't deserve you, and we
Starrkprimera
Would be utterly lost without you.
Tradisrad
You're an asshole! But it's ok
asquiiiiiiisha
Like I don't already say this to my cat daily.
pandro
Was thinking "what would you say to your cat?" would just get this answer over and over.
LarryLoudly
I guess I'm the only one that got hit with the feels
KizzleTizzle
Nah. I got em too.
KingBeardy
"You help me get chicks, you get steak. Stop growling at black people, you're gonna get me in trouble."
AkLonewolf
STOP FUCKING THE CAT DIPSHIT! YOU GET IN TROUBLE EVERY GOD DAMN DAY FOR THIS! YOU KNOW BETTER!
VagisilToothpaste
Oh dear....
Ipoopwhenilaugh
Your breath smells a lot like your butthole, like, all the time. You need to get a new hobby, the licking g thing is getting weird
VagisilToothpaste
Ok, so...how are you so well-versed on the scent of dog butthole? I've had dogs for 20yrs and I have ZERO idea of the smell of dog ass.
Ipoopwhenilaugh
Don't ask a question you're not prepared to hear the answer to.
Caughtmewithonefootofthemarygoround
Masturbation is natural
VagisilToothpaste
I swear my dog gives me the "oh not that again" look every time she sees me from her crate at night when I take my toys out...
donotlookatthelight
Lol I thought I was the only one
Theresmyothersock
This is great
Huldra
You helped me thru the worts period in my life. I owe you my life. Not all cats like you. Just ignore angry tiny dogs. Heater isnt danger -
Huldra
I love you. I will never leave you. Thanks for being my best bud and also not destroy our interior. I also love our walks. 3 years together.
OldArmyFight
Quit shitting on the porch and walk your happy ass down the steps to the grass.
bigred810
Yeah just end it with "I love you, stop shiting on the carpets"
luckyteeth
“Thank you for being mine. I know you live your life for me and to be honest, I live mine for you too. I love you more than anything, kiddo”
luckyteeth
I told her and she seems pleased /a/cJAnY
kelleh
SHE SMILED!!!!!! AWWWWWW
crazycatlady1996
aww so cute
itsreallyhardtofindausernamethatisnttaken
The thunder can’t hurt you. Neither can fireworks. You saved me from depression and I owe you my life. I love you so much.
foggymornings
crazycatlady1996
awww <3
1010621
Onions
EnEss
"in future bark twice for yes, once for no"
IMadeAnAccountToSayCleverThingsButThenDidnt
This is genius
fairybug
DUDE. This is it. This is the thing we should all say.
missastromccluskey
It's like being granted one wish - ask for one hundred more !
Lizardbath
Wait hold on.. but....how is the dog supposed to understand the yes or no questions after the 10 seconds are over?
TragicTurtle
Do you want to go outside? Are you hungry?
inasexualway
well I'm feeling fine here but I could go for a snack
ConfederacyOfDunces
chillyvixen
"I really need you to pee on your potty pads and not the carpet. Also, you are the best at cuddling and we love you!"
donotlookatthelight
Take them outside?
ArchmageTech
Could potentially get tiresome after a while if you live several stories up in an apartment, but I'd still walk the dog outside atleast once
probshouldntsayitbut
Apparently some tiny dog breeds are virtually unhouse-trainable. They just don't have the bladder control capabilities.
chillyvixen
Huurdeeduur. She goes out at least 2x a day. She's a lil' dog that pees a lot.
donotlookatthelight
Sounds like a cat
SaveAChocoboRideAnAirship
"I'm glad science brought you back from the dead. I missed you a ton."
BilldeGrasseHawkingTheArchaeologist
I wasn't ready for this....
guywithwifi
tomeightoh
Starrkprimera
I'm legit crying on shift . I work in a hospital.
Snooj
"I've missed you too. Too bad that the ten seconds are almost ... "
DemonicCarnage
Well thanks asshole
CirclejerqueDuSoleil
You wanna fuckin' not?
Intelletc
asmugpolitician
registryeror
That's ruff.
SlavKnightLautrecTheEsteemedLocalWorshipperOfCthulu
That actually fucked me up..
Asterfix
Aw i miss Fox. I will reclaim you from the underworld dear friend. You need only wait for me.
SaintCuntyMcFuckOff
I'm walking on sunshine!
SaveAChocoboRideAnAirship
That episode kills me every time.
SuperBaguetteHighHopes
Woohoo
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
That song sucks noodles
ParticularlyMentallyInsane
You suck noodles
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
I do. I just had a big bowl of pho today for lunch
Totallybadassusername
My friends doesn't get the reference
thefrayedendsofsanity
Pet Sematary. But really they’re saying their dog is dead.
SaveAChocoboRideAnAirship
Just that my dog died in 2010 and if I could talk to him, it means he's alive again.
Totallybadassusername
Really sorry to hear that. Miss my old boy too. Thought your comment was a reference to something
SaveAChocoboRideAnAirship
Nah, I just miss him. He was 16 and my best friend. And super chill. I have a giant portrait on my wall that a friend did when he was 15. 1/
SaveAChocoboRideAnAirship
I'm sorry about your pup, too. They really make life worth living. Of course, I have cats, too, and they are wonderful.