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Aegween

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I know this is an unconventional use of this meme but I feel guilty so it's approproate. If the use if this confession bear bothers you. Eh. Whatever.

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years and it's been pretty good. That being said, he's been depressed for a long time but has generally managed it successfully on his own.. this latest bout has lasted much longer. I have to remind him to eat and bathe. He's not helping with the housework or finances and his temperature is getting worse. I've been having my own problems lately and I can't be the only structure keeping our house and relationship together. He only works 25 hours a week. I work five 16 hour days plus keep up the house and do all the cooking, and when he says he's overwhelmed by my problems (some serious some not) I seriously want to just punch him back into reality. I never would, of course but I'm so frustrated.

He's complaining about being sleepy while I deal with this : https://imgur.com/gallery/7jpPV

I know it's just his depression but he's refusing further treatment and I'm really just at my wits end.

Thanks for the vent.

Edit: to stop the slew of "tell him" comments... I have. To stop the slew of "leave him" comments, I won't. The depression is the problem, not him. Just gotta find a way to get him treatment.

Cat tax

allginger

So, he is unwilling to be emotionally competent for himself?

8 years ago |

amandawright

Atleast don't tag it as meme, I don't wanna see this crap in my feed

rfarrell56785772

Why is America so obsessed with "my therapist". I know the sopranos was good but I don't see the need

imgur412

Find something that he can put himself into, like an old forgotten hobby from his past. Exercise also helps over time.

venomousduck78

Being depressed for years isn’t “managing it”. He’s losing and dragging you with him

saintjocks

different envrioment could help, different job, or a small holiday for a week etc, it can snap somebody out of it, or atleast open eyes.

ijoa

have him put down

90sLego

Start by telling him how you honestly feel, and if that doesn't work then maybe consider getting a mediator or a counsellor.

FrilledMeg

Resentment will ruin relationships.

bigdaddyfatpants

Resentment will ruin everything.

lenomdeplume

Check his temperature more frequently?

Just take care of yourself, sometimes in a relationship one grows, one doesn't. Sometimes people grow at different rates. 1/2

I've been in relationships where we were at different places in life. We just natural grew apart. Misery loves company.

MadMen07

buttstufficles

Bottom line, good relationships are built on mutual desire to communicate, understand and compromise for the happiness of both. Talk or go

sebastianbernardvolvo

Youre both not right for the other. Equally.

TheGreatKaleido

Sometimes it's okay to be selfish. Your mental health comes first, do what you need to to make positive changes.

FatNibba

It seems like you both need some time for youreslves (and eachother) so idk take a vacation if you can

Everything you earn wont be worth shit if you die of exhaustion before you get to spend it

NoodsDontExistChangeMyMind

Stop having sex with him and start wearing sexy stuff till he gets his shit together. Seems like good motivation to me.... ;)

SeaPrince

Stop settling. He will drag you down and be your excuse to be depressed. I went through the exact same thing with my ex-gf.

There's a difference between settling and compassion

Absolutely. However, if they won't help themselves, they become an anchor.

iamkyleh

Sounds like your dad knew how things were gonna go that night, so he sent you away on purpose.

wimetaste

What a boat you're in! None of us really understand, keep doing your best op.

By far the best reply to this post. Thanks for being positive. I appreciate it

You're welcome op. Just keeping it real.

HeavensAnger

Good luck OP! Keep fighting! It is worth it!

IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes

I not doing anything about my depression, as far as therapy and drugs, but I make sure that it doesn't affect the people I care about.

TallLightnHandsome

Talk to him. If he's not willing to get help, protect yourself. It's challenging to deal with someone with depression.

Charlieieieee

Huge sign he’s a lazy sociopath that is being enabled to be lazy. Tell him to provide as you do or you’ll leave.

MeatCurtains

Then leave.

xtraa

Ask yourself if you can accept the idea that there will always be periods of depressions. Talk to him about what you need 4 relationship.

I don't need to. I know it'll work. Again, just venting frustrstions. Not looking for a dramatic change.

JohnSmithterms

He is likely sleepy because of poor diet, lack of exercise and not going to sleep before 10pm (that means no screen time in bed too).

It's not your job to motivate him and if I were you I would draw a line in the sand and let him know you will leave if he crosses it.

Wait, how do you know his bedtime? Are you stalking us?

From my own personal experiences with an ex girlfriend.

Thetwitchy1

Lol. The reason we know your bedtime is he's not the only one with these issues.

Except some people stay in bed all the time and some never get there. "Some people" aren't "all people " we all suffer differently

bobnot

It’s not depression it’s arrested development that your enabling.

As a random imgur person with no context that's a bold claim

I have a lot of experience with co-dependant relationships and addict/enabler. You don't want to be alone or start dating someone new.

That's your exoerience. It's not mine.

When an entire comment thread of people are telling you one thing and you disagree it’s called denial.

They don't have much context. Just the negativity I gave from venting. They didn't get any of the good stuff. And the comment section

So you're enabling his actions and make claims you gotta find him treatment but it's up to him to WANT to get treatment.

You sound like your a highly driven person and I think if you pulled yourself out of your comfort zone you'll see what a drain he is on you.

Imagine if you were with someone that worked the same amount as you. How would you're lifestyle grow over all.

Comments (68)