TheDancingChickenOfTheSea
128985
1359
23
It seems to work? #weird_shit #mildly_interesting #gorilla #meme
May 15, 2022 2:17 AM
TheDancingChickenOfTheSea
128985
1359
23
It seems to work? #weird_shit #mildly_interesting #gorilla #meme
jj1807039350
Leaves and Jack shit
AntikytheraMechanism31415
Hes at hes Ape-x.
EveryUsernameIsTaken4
Damn genetics
TheePerfectComment
https://youtu.be/XwvmpVbggCU
Scobebo
Eat mostly plants ;)
mightlookthesamebutitdonttastethesame
Vegan diet
HardDoseOfReality
Stretch by sitting in a weird position at all times when you sit. And don't skip arm day
Keairan
Gorilla genetics, a diet mainly made-up of c4 leaves and grasses, sometimes fruit and rarely insects. Also spending most of their day (1)
Keairan
looking for proper amounts of all of those things to eat.
rhitard
You gotta rustle 100kg jimmies for that body
iAmHugh
Vegan power, natty for sure.
chicharrone
Bananas out for Harambe
WhatInTheSamhillisaPuma
You want me to get my bananas out again?.gif
IDoPictureStuff
There's a Harambe Cafe in town. Thought about it
Eclaircissement
Jail Muscles
ohnophile
This gorilla fucks.
Jackrackham86
Not sure what it is for gorillas but I remember reading that chimpanzees muscular structure makes them 8 times stronger than avg humans.
baldbear
I once read a gorilla equals the power of a dozen men. I saw a zoo gorilla break a trucktire in little pieces with bare hands because bored
billpilgrim
He'll tell you himself - he's a vegan.
YeastInfectedWhiskerBiscuit
And they aren't even trying. Imagine a gorilla that knew how to work out!
SirButcher
They ARE working out. Try to climb a tree to eat, every day, and hold yourself for multiple hours. You will be buff, too!
YeastInfectedWhiskerBiscuit
They aren't really climbers. They're very passive, eat food with zero nutrition, and loaf around all day. They don't work out at all.
MithridateEupator
40 pounds of leaves a day
yourlocaleconomicsnerd
Calm down, Joe Rogan.
EaNasirIsABastard
Gorillas are vegan, don't workout, and have zero martial arts knowledge. Imagine if in the medieval age they taught them to >
EaNasirIsABastard
fight with swords and gave mounted them on Rhinos.
Cohacq
No need to give them something to ride on. Have you seen how huge they are?
pinskins
Bananas and sex
GoodGuyGonzo
Broo, do you even lift?
JoseCanada79
Skip leg day
C141Clay
https://imgur.com/uxGthPG me IRL
Endocrom
Futchm
Vegan diet, sleeping 12-15 hours a day work out plan
Lugh314159
I mean... I'm sure the whole 'gorilla' part is most of it, but I think a 100% raw, organic, no carb diet helps.
somnif
Erm, they eat almost nothing but plant matter, which is almost entirely carbohydrates...
IHaveAGuyForEverything
The diet is No HFCS or Trans fat. Prob no complex carbs either.
somnif
Actually almost entirely complex carbs, their diet is mostly cellulose by volume.
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somnif
The funniest part is, as "ripped" as they look, many gorillas have quite high body fat, many would be considered "obese" by human standards
whyowhyareallgoodusernamestaken
8% of Dutch men claim they can wrestle a gorilla, how deluded they are!
MapleSyrupMafia
What's the population of gorillas over there?
whyowhyareallgoodusernamestaken
Not enough, still here is Bokito, the most famous one in the Netherlands.
OuchMouse
This is the ideal ape body. You might not like it, but this is what peak ooh ooh ah ah looks like.
ImADouchebag
I'm sorry but that's racist. Gorillas go ooh ooh ooh ooh, get it fucking right.
TyrannosaurusMex
Holy shit
petresun
Ah!Ah!Ah!Ah! +1
Chronojojo
Actually since Gorillas have no concept of the workout regiment, we’ve arguably never seen a gorilla at full strength.
C141Clay
https://imgur.com/uxGthPG
BlueRonfar
Ranos17
Underrated right here
GrimBeeperBooper
What about peak ooh eee ooh ah ah? Perhaps followed by ting tang Walla Walla bing bang?
upvotesforsale42
Goddammit +1
Orzufancylad
They are just built different.
ExTechOp
Including (by human standards) a quite smol penis. https://carta.anthropogeny.org/moca/topics/penis-size-and-morphology
J3lek
Legos vs megablocks
HonestCommentFarmer
Literally a different kind of muscle structure.
Coolera
Don't undermine his years of commitment and hard work with the excuse of good genetics.
semioticmadness
Years of daily routine: glaring at females, punching betas, yeeting infant males. Inspiring.
parabolic000
Literally. Their muscles and attachment points are able to exert way more force than ours, but we can throw spears accurately and tire less
thingifound
They are able to digest more vegetable protein can we could ever attempt as a human eating non stop protein shakes
parabolic000
readily. Those 2 factors make us an absolute terror.
CakeShapedPie
Highest average speed of any animal and we can carry stuff while we do it
joot
I mean, the whole planning thing is honestly the bigger terror .
ishouldprobablybeplayingpokemonATM
I'd still give it to a Silverback if they were allowed to compete in mma
Donku83
Yeah but we'd have to train into that. Our potential is an absolute terror
JudgementalMan
Wonder what the differences between a wild gorilla, a zoo gorilla, and an artificially conditioned gorilla would be.
parabolic000
the ability to coordinate and enact complex actions like crafting and throwing a spear is our potential. Now, one could get into a chicken-
parabolic000
and-egg game about whether fine motor control or recursive tool use came first, but it's unimportant. Like an archway, each piece is as--
OmenJones
1. Be a gorilla.
BigStacksThrowItOnThemBigFatTatties
2, Be Joe Rogan
NoSandalsAllowed
For your entire life, use your arms & hands to walk, support your body, swing, slam your chest, and throw poo & shit
astrangehop
Well... I Would like to sleep anywhere I want.
FellaWithUmbrella
2. Draw the rest of the fucking owl
naturenick
5. Pick bugs off fur daily
Nuttburger
Imagine a gorilla that had the knowledge and equipment to workout like professional athletes
BalderdashRapscallion
3: Throw poo at strangers with deadly accuracy.
mugman1
recliningpanda
Now this is a step I can get behind
WeatherWiz
4. Profit?
imnotinthewitnessprotectionprogram
5. Eat your Wheaties
KLUSTENATOR
5. Prophet
CommentBot2000
I’m in.
Emjayen
2. Invite Jordan Peterson onto your podcast.
Lazerpanda
I don't want to talk about lobsters though
Emjayen
Don't you want to follow along with his "health influencer" daughter's 'all meat' diet and end up in a coma?
SpaceSpeed
I mean... a little bit
Lazerpanda
If being in a coma is how I get out of hearing Kermit the pill-popper's voice ever again, it sounds inviting.
DaveSamsonite
This is an 8-yr old meme from a Photoshop battle. http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/29kycs/do_you_even_lift/
DaveSamsonite
In other words it’s false, so it should get a few downvotes. I realize that revealing truth here makes me the target.
DaveSamsonite
baldbear
And still you do not learn to use your right to remain silent.
DaveSamsonite
At least you can get the last word in on a 4 month old post about fake giant wolves.
J3lek
2. masturbate in public every day
davidthecreator81
Can one achieve such body masturbating in public but without being a gorilla? If so, I’ll be having such body quite soon
eathotdog
The true essence of freedom
zvae
well, you had my attention. now you have my interest.
Ja5per
HandoB4Javert
PalaverQuader
it asserts dominance! also builds your triceps.
Emrys12
Do they masturbate??
WatashimoLurky
That essentially is performance in-handsing, and you wouldn't be allowed to compete.
WatashimoLurky
*banned from all tossing
PineappleLoopsBroether
What if I have a pers-grip-tion
WatashimoLurky
No doubt that'd be from from Dr. Zaius.
OmenJones
BrokeMyFunnyBone
Better than close behind me
Nathanfake
Who is this beautiful creature?
TaylorAutumn
It's called a homo sapien
Bergleton
Wait you can’t say that