firefighter26
282421
8146
320
I'm pretty sure that's how it went down. But seriously, 3,540 metres is crazy. That's almost 2.2 miles for those using Freedom units.
Sauce: https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/canadian-elite-special-forces-sniper-sets-record-breaking-kill-shot-in-iraq/article35415651/
Bezilon
"freedom" units *mandatory dr. evil here*
jsmithy2334
Absurd. Probably blew the dude apart pretty good too. Also almost double the effective range of a .50 lol
CleverUsernameHaha
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
xxeasterbunnyxx
That's the distance from my office to the highway.....dang
0atmealTears
This is the fastest form of physical communication, excluding electronics. Message.. "fuck you"
Tsalvo
:)
harminat0r
Best use of the "you see that guy over there". Maplesyrup, football.. cfl style!
harminat0r
And I am sorry for the last post
vannie001
AlexisWalker
"Freedom units"
bloodandbloodyashes
Boom.
v
blacksheepbaabaa
When Canada start using their passive-aggressive bombs in Iraq, it will be a massacre, borderline war crime.....
blacksheepbaabaa
I felt my soul dying when my Canadian friend start using that dangerous weapon.
fudgesickle
Ah, we all started using hockey sticks since when we were babies!
kmikl
We're shipping them geese. Fucking loads of them.
Strongharbour432
If geese can fuck up a bald eagle, imagine what it could do to terrorists?
kmikl
War crimes.
Evern
Just arm us with hockey sticks and tell us that whatever enemy you want destoyed has possession of the puck. Shit will get taken care of.
copingcabana
It would be more effective to just tell Canada that ISIS has the puck.
kmikl
Dude... they don't even have pads, man... that's just barbaric.
Ricknumber274
Can we appreciate freedom units for a minute
fudgesickle
Even when's about Canadians, Americans gotta make it about themselves!
kmikl
Which is why we're not using freedom units.
mariemcd
No
rockdoctor
You don't go to Horny Tim's for his coffee. You go there because it's the only food within walking distance and there's six feet of snow out
easybrz
Even though the food is also terrible
analbinosquirrel
Don't you talk like that about my potato wedges and steak paninis
easybrz
Grrrrrrosss
RaisinZetaJones
Tim Hortons coffee used to be great. Just pure kerosene jet fuel. It didn't try to be gourmet. McDonalds now supplies the black jet-A
ItsSarcasm
Man that Sniper and Spotter needed Maximum Effort to hit that shot
BobofMemes
Thanks for the freedom units, ...I had no idea, that's A LOT of freedom, doubt the locals appreciate that much freedom
BobofMemes
That's how many freedom units I got to drive to the nearest McDonald's...so much freedom
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
sendnukes
Football
S0lenn
Except its called soccer in Canada as well. So it would be referred to as soccer
KamikazeFish
You say potato, I say tomato.
Ghost0fDawn
Canada now hold 3 of the top 5 long range shots. You can't hide OR run apparently.
jayneGemStar
its cuz they're not walking in the shitsnow/frigid hellstorm outside and prefer to handle issues from their cozy shitstorm-proof suit. AOE!!
BeerStoreGuy
When a good man goes to war, even Demons run.
Khaylain
Demons run when a good man goes to war||Night will fall and drown the sun||When a good man goes to war||Friendship dies and true love lies
Khaylain
Night will fall and the dark will rise||When a good man goes to war||Demons run, but count the cost||The battle’s won, but the child is lost
sorrycannotbraintoday
you WILL accept their apology
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
Canada is gunning so much better than the US is gunning
AloneWithMyThoughts
im more impressed with how much the difference in distance is from the previous record.
Doumdidoum
Imagine if the talibans really had the puck
wackywoohoopizzaman
WAIT, THEY DO? LET ME AT THEM!
Doumdidoum
Did you see what they let their goat do to it? Bastards
cook13monstarr
1k longer than the previous record. Canada can shoot!
fudgesickle
Though normally we like to shoot from "the slot."
Arronmd
They say they took 72 mils of elevation on the last Canadian record shot (2.4km). I would love to see how many mils were needed for 3.5km.
swedishlurker97
105 if it scales liniarly (shit english i know) but i dont think it does
RevolverFirelot
Apologies: The Deadliest Canadian Superweapon
ShadowSquirrel
Maximum effective range of a Canadian apology. Proven in the Afghan mountains.
MisterLemons
Approximately the range of a match-grade 50BMG ejecting out of a special-ops grade rifle.
Sourowlsheet
Haha clever.
BlackElkSpeaks
I don't understand your joke.. you're saying the sniper apologize by shooting the longest shot hitting his target in the head and (1)
BlackElkSpeaks
Keep downvoting me nonsensical Americants. Doesn't matter to me your one-dimensional dad jokes still won't make sense.
harminat0r
I am sorry, but lookup what Canadians do first!
BlackElkSpeaks
It's a cliche yes I got that. Your knowledge of cliches is impeccable. Now what about your knowledge of Canada?
BlackElkSpeaks
Do you know anything besides a stupid stereotype you probably saw on South Park? Be honest.
harminat0r
well to start of l was born and lived there for my entire life.. third generation. have travelled all the way from inuvik to labrador
BlackElkSpeaks
Effectively killing him?... (2)
ShadowSquirrel
Whispers to bullet "sorry" the delivers bullet to recipient in fastest way available.
BlackElkSpeaks
Classic inadvertent American Dad joke.
BlackElkSpeaks
Right, downvote me because you can't explain your cliche / derrivative joke.
MemeMcgee
Looks like someone cant embrace bagged milk
BlackElkSpeaks
BedsideTiger
JTF2 FTW!
MoistlyMoistenedMoistness
I believe this was actually the work of the Canadian Special Operations Regiment (CSOR). But still, JTF2 kicks ass.
sparklepantsthedestroyer
From an acquaintance who had some reason to interact with them: "JTF2 are some scary motherfuckers."
jayneGemStar
jtf2 splainer?
lintwizard
Joint team fortress 2. Canada's war-themed hat simulators.
comeflywithme
Joint task force 2. Canada's elite special forces.
jayneGemStar
thanks
DancingPanther
You literally have to sit and do math/physics to execute this shot. Curvature of the earth, bullet drop, wind....holy fuck
Gorgrim
Took just under 10 seconds to reach the target as well. Scary stuff.
SarfTheMagnifico
As a Canadian, Tim Hortons is terrible.
Zerubbabel
Second Cup ftw!
SarfTheMagnifico
More of a Starbucks man myself. I've heard horror stories about Second Cups' muffins.
randomgibberish
I worked at a Second Cup for a while. Don't go to Second Cup.
RudeDudeRunnin
3.54 km
ohdeear
Like dude, I can't even jog that far.
Arronmd
They could have used a missile or a bomb...but Canadian Army budget says ... one man, one rifle, one bullet is all they could afford.
mariemcd
NO - it is all they needed.
ABlastFromThePast
1/2 Maybe. But I think you are missing the joke. (Our military is so underfunded that it's a huge joke among those who are in the service,
mariemcd
I am a daughter of a Canadian Military Man who served in WWII. My brothers, served, my nephews and nieces serve. I am not missing anything.
ABlastFromThePast
2/2 I've no doubt that somewhere Trudeau is wondering if we can replace our artillery with REALY big binoculars and a few guys on long guns!
yogoo0
The world literally revolved enough to affect the shot
asa1967
Something like 5 meters short of a kilometer past the previous record. Didn't break the record, he fucking destroyed it
RaisinZetaJones
Right? First it's like, "I'll break the record by ten meters" Then "Pfft, I'll add 100 meters to that." "FUCK IT A KLICK OK? GOOD ENOUGH?"
kmikl
Better: said operator used another shot to disable more materiel in the area (I think it was a machine gun?)
vilecomfort
"Sorry for taking your record" - Canadian Sniper with new record probably
grapefruittroop
"Sorry for taking your record, eh?" Canadian Sniper with new record more probably
Tikityler
Here is the list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills
Vekaer
dunno, 'McMillan Tac-50' is made in USA
RaisinZetaJones
And the USA was made by Britain. So when you think about, *all five* of those records belong to Britain. And Britain was made in Saxony. And
RaisinZetaJones
Denmark -- so those are Viking records. Some more regression occurs, and next thing you know those records all belong African Homo Habilis.
Bravo21Niner
Took it in 2002, lost it to the Brits in 2009 and took it back a couple days ago.
nicholcm
see, you know us brits are going to take that as a challenge
PapiJacko
SirDaveInUtah
Perfect!
Tk842
I was wondering cause I was pretty sure the canadians had it before.
Dmitrous
Top two used to be Canadians from the same unit (Princess Patricia's Light Infantry) from the same unit, before that it was Carlos Hathcock
Dmitrous
In 1967
92xander
Soooo America still wins for having the longest record shot for the longest time?
Itchy73
As a Canadian, Tim's does not have the best coffee.
crossfire242
I've found that it's hit or miss depending on the Tim's you go to.
aredapple
Cheaper but they have much better baked goods vs Starbucks or McDonald's
OaksParcel
Even McDonald's coffee is better. Plus you get a free one after you buy like 7 or something.
TheRealTarzan
Dons is wayy better
muskoxmuskets
I look at a double double the same way I look at a chocolate bar. It's like a sugary treat-thing.
bitemark
It never was. It's just decent for the price and that shit wakes you up.
genericusername69696969696969
As a Canadian, shut the Fuck you you're supposed to be canadian
easybrz
ROBINS, ROBINS, ROBINS!
retgarr
I tried a coffee there just to see what was what. I felt let down.
zimirken
Best doughnuts tho
Quincy80
McD's picked up the old Timmy's coffee supplier when Tim's switched to a cheaper blend.
DavidBrooker
Tim's is just goddamn awful. But its ubiquitous and cheap, so I occationally still get one.
parpy
The Pizza Pizza model. Trash-tier product that's cheap and on every corner.
easybrz
I think we can all agree A&W has the worst coffee on earth.
mylesvella
It's not even close
NewGrower1
They changed their coffee blend and McDonald's bought the original. Source: know someone who worked at the supplier.
BeerStoreGuy
Can back this fact. Mom grounds kept a property owned by the dude who owns Ma Parker brand coffee - the coffee Tims USED and that McDs uses
randomgibberish
The dark roast isn't awful
Itchy73
Very true.
PhilEeno
BUT WE WILL STILL DRINK IT BECAUSE IT IS WHO WE ARE DAMMIT
Pingsquirrel
Both statements are true.
ImNotRacistBut
Funny how corporate propaganda can integrate consumption of shitty coffee made by a company that isn't Canadian in to the national identity.
PhilEeno
Eh. The culture > the brand
PhilEeno
^ holy crap that was like an involuntary "Eh"
UncivilizedEngie
Yeah, but is Tim's better or worse than Starbucks?
herttz
Worse, all hail McDonalds.
Paul567
Worse.
Canughduh
Worse. The grade of beans they buy are low quality
UncivilizedEngie
I guess I wouldn't know because I get my coffee from WalMart.
FatStacksBigHats
better. i dont know why theres all this Timmies hate
Paul567
Because their coffee is trash. If given a McDonalds and a Tim's I'll take McDicks for coffee.
ScienceMAN1
well i'm canadian, and tim horton coffee taste like dirty water. Make your own
UncivilizedEngie
That doesn't really answer the question "Is Tim's better or worse than Starbucks."
mfgcolour
better cost efficiency and they don't have stupid names for small, medium and large but just go to McDonalds for coffee
astrangehop
Maine here. I go to Cumberland farms everyday because they have fresh cold coffee for a dollar.
CaptCanada
Mcdons is old tims coffee...good coffee
VoltageXL1
This guy knows.
TooMuchPoutine
McD uses the same coffee beans as Tim's
puppetute
They get their beans from where Tim's used to get their beans but Tim's switched so now McDick's has old school Tim's and Tim's is different
KnucleheadFlow
heh McDick's. I also like McDank's.
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
If this gets 10 upvotes I'll make a gif of *Apology intensifies*
SmittyShmee
.
IExplainJokesThatNeedNoExplanation
.
Delta2279
Dot at 24
Znayx
Are you apologizing for thoroughly searching my asshole?
ThatGuyWhoJustCommentsAndGetsPointsFromIt
.
BlackElkSpeaks
.
Chronospell
Almost at 100. You need to make an animated gif of a badly drawn maple leaf chugging maple syrup while the caption is "APOLOGY INTENSIFIES".
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
Yours was the thing I drew
jimwormmaster
That is the second best thing I've seen today. First was the OP.
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
I will deliver, mark my words
Falos
dot
TurdFergusonsBigHat
I was 10. Lets do this
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
Here you go
AnAsOfYetUnidentifiedIndividual
Marvelous
CapsShield
That is absolutely cringy and terrifying. I love it.
aethoneagle
Need.
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
Working on it!
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
aethoneagle
Thanks!
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
I have worked, I have drawn, I have bled, Enjoy imgur.
chloeclairecleothatsnotmyname
Love that pouring of maple syrup on his head
lysomaru
It looks like it's dancing.. not intensifying
AussieNotNamedBruce
Worse GIF EVER! Yet you delivered, so here, have my upvote :)
lazylizard420
I appreciate this
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
(Alt Account)
CantGoBack2Jail
So god dam weak dude
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
Trust me (Alt Account) I really tried, but shit this was tough
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
All I have is my phone
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
Actually you know what screw you I put more work into that one piece than you have into all of imgur
CantGoBack2Jail
3 buttholes doesn't equal a vagina dude
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
I'd like to see what you can do with a crappy android phone
whoinvitedthem
Dot at 43
Ace4815162342
Doot
oneveryunimpressedcanadian
.
TeammateAssist
You better follow through.
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
You bet your ass I will
ThoroughlySearchingYourAsshole
jenesasquatch
BlackBeautyAnkara
veganfarts
ilikeyourpics
AOSUOMI
Didn't Deadpool attempt to be "Captain Canada" at some point?
ChubbyLandshark
Come on man, you can't just break the laws of space and time itself like that.
Emaref
*GASP*
ifmusicbethefoodofloveplayon
https://media.giphy.com/media/Y5wbPF4O2Elaw/giphy.gif
SharkyMcSnarkface
Traitor to Canada detected. Dispatching Maple Syrup Warhead.
Chronozon937
Sorry.
Hardinex
My friend was a Tank commander in Afghanistan and he said Canadians are the most fucked up soldiers he's ever worked with. They would >
Hardinex
> Climb on top of his tank to get a better angle instead of using it as cover. They'd shoot through walls and climb on top of buildings <
Hardinex
> And fire missiles and toss grenades. He said the Afghani troops that he worked with were scared of them, and the American soldiers were <
Hardinex
> Just like... "okay, please don't come near me". He said they were so violent because nothing ever happens in Canada...
GadenKerensky
Well, that's not a betrayal as much as an indicator that 'you've dun fucked up. You've dun fucked up real bad.'
MyNameIsJeffGoldblum
That's actually more of a shock than the original source.
Syrpynt
Not canon. Canadans don't have that racial skill.
Syrpynt
Canadans from Canadia.
FuckMyAssAndCallMeObama
That's a Canadian villain right there
kmikl
A Canadian villain would not offer syrup. They would feel sorry though.
FuckMyAssAndCallMeObama
True
Yrmsteak
Bizarro Canada man
UnicornIRL
Please tell me this actually happened in a comic.
LtKifKroker
Photoahopped, sorry
WeaponizedAutisticCanadian
No
fr1080f
No you won't tell them?
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
I have found a Canadian 4channer
jenesasquatch
I don't want to make you sad. Unicorns should enjoy their bliss.
UnicornIRL
I bring happiness to others, but I'm already dead inside.
blackburrd
Well in that case it was Cap, admitting to be a hydra agent all along
jenesasquatch
So...it's really more of a zombie Santa Claus situation?
CaptCanada
it did...it was a harsh week for me but hey shit happens bud
UnicornIRL
It's cool, sometimes the Canucks have to let out their inner American.
kmikl
We channel our inner Americans into Geese and send them down south for the winter.
pookieeatworld
Canadian geese ain't nothing to fuck with, either, so you must have a lot of pent up 'murica up there...
MufinMcFlufin
It's a parody of this panel. http://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Captain-America-Reveal-06282016.jpg
AnythingMuchShorter
What ever happened with this story line anyway?
kmikl
Still ongoing afaik.
lintwizard
I'm a bit behind but I've seriously enjoyed it. It just recently blew up into a major event as Cap's new motives are now public.
modsm20
"Hail hydra" ... ? I now additional questions...
MufinMcFlufin
From what I read on an article about it, (spoilers, obviously) his memories were altered so he believes he's a Hydra sleeper agent.
lintwizard
Decades ago the Red Skull used a Cosmic Cube to rewrite history to ruin Falcon's backstory. He recently did it again to Cap & it backfired.
lintwizard
I've fallen behind on the comics a bit, but, near as I could tell, Cap's vision for HYDRA more or less matches his old American ideals.
ThePillowman
Marvel running out of ideas, decide to ruin a morally incorruptible character by making him corrupt.
MufinMcFlufin
From what I read on an article about it, (spoilers, obviously) his memories were altered so he believes he's a Hydra sleeper agent.
CorrectMostOfTheTime
Not sure thats what actually happened though