TheWolfenberg
77132
4405
178
let`s see what you got imgur
Jun 18, 2016 11:35 AM
TheWolfenberg
77132
4405
178
let`s see what you got imgur
PGTipsMonkeh
I can't believe that big gorilla died! Rest In Peace, Muhammad Ali
Orochidragon005
What do you call a retard that dies in a house fire? A baked potato.
DoctorClef
No tomato for the potato.
domzie
I understood that reference.
blazr987
What do you call an invalid who dies in a house fire? A roasted vegetable
heavyD
What's crispy at the top of the stairs? Chris Reeves in a house fire.
HereInDuckburg
:0
FilthyRedmond
:~|
placidrain56
What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They can't resist cracking open a cold one.
toriapinklotus
I just asked my husband this and he replied with, "they both like to give things time to ferment"....
InboxMeYourMaineCoons
I used to be a necrophiliac until a rotten cunt split on me.
Tylerm1
That's some disgusting shit. +1
kertez
Name checks out...?
SilkyMilkyGlobules
What's the best thing about fucking twentytwo-year-olds? There's twenty of them!
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
What does a healthy Labrador puppy have in common with a nearsighted gynecologist?
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
They both have wet noses.
JimNeverHasASecondCupOfCoffeeAtHome
Holy shit +1
EverlastingToeJam
Oh man you... you got me +1
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
And I didn't even make up the joke myself... I shamelessly stole it from another man who probably stole it himself. :-)
EverlastingToeJam
Naturally! (: btw dope username!
TheVerraton
Why does a black man cry during sex? Pepper Spray.
ChaosZR1
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.
SevenDeadlyFins
too soon...
imgurscommontater
don't eat me D:
Raskal112
Oh wow.
phakedoctor
As an Irishman...this is wonderful
marcoyolo69
The great Irish dilemma, do you eat the potato or wait for it to become vodka
LikeABonerInSweatpants
Mallory fucking kills it every time
DameWithAPipBoy
You know, where you find four Irishmen you'll find a fifth.
fappingsloth
Ha ha, i thought it was as many as would fit into the bottle!
FAC47
Best one so far...
iliketrains1990
Hahaha savage
Gasquatch
How do you know it's bedtime at Jared's house... When the big hand touches the little one
DameWithAPipBoy
What did the Boston Marathon bomber do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
YourLordCthulhu
What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood out of the clown costume. Note; Told to me by a teacher.
theLamborghiniMan
If only they'd taught you how to properly use a semicolon.
YourLordCthulhu
Oh no, my shift key didn't register for a single key stroke! Whatever shall we do in this time of serious crisis!
theLamborghiniMan
Blame Obama.
LoTRFanatic42
What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Their hips.
DreamWalker91
This is why I am afraid og clowns...
Bonnedad
Down here, we all float
fappingsloth
.....And now teachers!
Listeningtokpop
Studies show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
mittag
took me a while
truesoundguy
Wow.
OfficialRepresentativeOfCanada
Yes!
MissBrochacho
Just upvoted this to 69
wafflesmgee
10 out of 10 if her secret is AIDS.
LikeABonerInSweatpants
Hiyoooooo
NightingalesBlackAce
Lmao
mynameisfatmike
cev820550
http://imgur.com/PGBLa3l
Twatimz
What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke. ...........your mum can't take a joke
ClassyWhetten
An old grip on set told this one once. Always makes me think of that fantastic show. +1
Twatimz
Zepravity
I laughed harder at this gif than the joke
jnoahj
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
jnoahj
Ghha-gh
supertrouperlightsaregonnafindme
This one is long: a rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are walking past a burning school. The rabbi says "oh my God we have to save the..." (1/?)
supertrouperlightsaregonnafindme
Children!" The lawyer says "fuck the children!" The priest goes.. "do we have time?!"
youguttabekittenme
What's hard to find in an Orlando night club.....a pulse
SexuallyEnragedGerbil
Jesus fucking christ
SP00BLES
Holy shit dude
jackocatt
I both felt a dark pang of guilt and anger, then lost my shit, that was good
youguttabekittenme
I'm sorry
Frysepinne
Im not :-P
papapooey
Brutal asf xD. You've got balls or bombs.
TurkusMagus
Savage
ArmandoManatee
I appreciated the sorry. Lmao.
[deleted]
[deleted]
youguttabekittenme
Well yea that's what the meme is for... Don't hate the player hate the meme
ratfaceddog
What meme? The one asking for dirty jokes?
youguttabekittenme
Chill safe space hero
ratfaceddog
Incoherent nonsense in defense of illiteracy? I know you've been waiting for an opportunity to parrot that phrase, since you first saw it,1/
pstar7
I lold just cuz of the replies to this one.
fieldkillah
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
OrinPlays
That isn't dirty, that's just down right fucking nasty lol.
cybergeek
How can you tell when you're at a bulimic party? The cake jumps out of the girl.
imadethisaccountjusttocommentonthispost
First Comment and I'm already done. You're great dude.
JumpingBalogna
Oh my god, I'm going to hell.
DickDastardly404
This joke wouldn't work in France.
applerazmataz
atleastIwasnt36
Well that's appalling
CommentDiver
masterreidensenpaipls6996
Equanimous
How do you know a black girl is pregnant? You remove her tampon & find the cotton has already been picked.
MyOldUserNameMeantUndeadCocaineButNowItsThis
16ajans
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/9e/9ee4e9176edb7c7226ab53b97348d8af1bd57b782ebfb0d4b50246d4e142e266.jpg
WhyAmINotSleepingRightNow
That joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
billswerskisuperfan
SilverChauffeur
In France they call it a royal with cheese
AaronBarreto
You mean a Royale with cheese?
SilverChauffeur
Oh shoot, I sure do
hatespawnlive
.
OuiOuiMonAmiJeMappelleLafayette
What do they call a Big Mac?
FeckArseDrink
Le Big Mac
OuiOuiMonAmiJeMappelleLafayette
Le Big Mac-uh. What do they call a Whopper?
FeckArseDrink
Le Whopper?
AaronBarreto
Don't know, didn't go to bk
AliBarber
I was eating grandma out when I tasted horse semen. That's when I realised that's how she died
cybergeek
"So I was eating this chick out when I tasted horse semen. 'Oh, grandma,' I said, 'so that's how you died!' " --escalates more steadily. :)
DinkyDamn
I... I don't even.
jackocatt
That. Damn nigga, one hit after another
chiefholla
Evil confession tiger
RockPaperSciccorsLizardSpock
Wow...
GenericAfricanDictator
ding ding ding, we have a winner
CoRektiveAction
In 32 years I have never peed while laughing. Until today.
Zoddom
btw without the second "that" I somehow think it sounds better. keeps people guessing.
Zoddom
omg this one got me
BlaneStrickland
Killstealer
but why
conquest
that was a wild ride from start to finish.
derandy
that's not even a joke. that's just terrible
Beepity
Terribly funny.
Ninjaviolinist
Well, so much for breakfast.
Irrelephantastic
horse semen?
OohhhYeeaaahhhh
You know how people say white people can't jump? Obviously they haven't seen the footage from 9/11.
Pantsworth6573
They say 9/11 victims are the fastest readers. 87 stories in 10 seconds.
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
Ouch again!
Xentherida
Damn it. I just submitted that joke and didn't check to see if it was here; I didn't think it'd be in the replies...
SexuallyEnragedGerbil
ಠ_à²
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
Ouch!
tomyironmane
They probably didn't have time to say that.
DeDutchDudeDatDoes
Unfortunately ... and morbidly, I am sorry to say that I think otherwise... damn ....don't think about it.
tomyironmane
No, they had time to scream in terror, soil themselves quite justifiably... but the impact probably killed them before pain could register.
40kNerd
How do you castrate somebody from Kentucky?
40kNerd
Kick his sister in the jaw.
thisusernameisprobablyweird
ok, i giggled. +1
WaffleSingSong
From Kentucky, not 100% innacurate.
RottenDR
I am also from Kentucky. I have been in some parts of the state where family trees don't have any branches but still go back generations.
manborg
This must be the funniest way someone can state this.
FryingMonkies
What's black and likes to eat pussy? Cervical cancer
MaxieMooo
ಠ_à²
Loadingggg
Damn that's dark lol
ErrahM
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?........ A: See you next month.
wishwash3
This might be the tamest dirty joke I've heard. I think it was on a penguin wrapper lol
LincolnSiixEcho
Popsicle stick lol
ErrahM
What do you call a discount circumcision? ............ A: A rip-off.
Lunar8
That made me cringe
Bonnedad
Tell the moile to keep the tip
plasticfanblade
How many cops do you need to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the black out the room.
NPCommentator
How many blacks does it take to start a riot? -1.
brikhed
They arrest the room for not working and beat it for being black
ImASkeletonDontTrustMe
why don't witches wear panties--------------------------------------------------------so they can grip their brooms better
TheGrumpest
Apparently witches might have rubbed psychoactive herbs on their broomsticks, then sat on it and that was what caused the "flying".
ronronner
That's actually why they rode the brooms. Look it up it's proper filthy!
SinnerAreMuchMoreFun
This is pretty good, thanks for the laugh. +1
sixsexsix
Thanks, Packer.
LongSchlongJon
I JUST WATCH THIS EPISODE
SimplyMerlin
Reminds me of the, "Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a trail like a snail."
spartaninvicta
Why does a vagina go up/down instead of left to right? So when sliding down a bannister they don't go *insert rasp noise
thepoetess
Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
jcshishka
Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Neither did she
DameWithAPipBoy
Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a women.
thepoetess
So she can moan with the other.
RottenDR
How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
Tylerm1
How?
manborg
We'll never know.
RottenDR
Trying to read the waffle iron.
helloworldimugly
What's 10 inches long, black, and makes a woman scream when you put it in her mouth? A: her miscarriage
decorativemooseknuckle
Holy shit
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
Holy fuck
insongwhang
SIDS
xfaerieusagix
That is fucking fabulous
arbitrarium
The version I heard was "What's stiff and purple and makes a woman scream all night long? Cot death."
jackocatt
Bruh
thran87
Nice
depeche85
FrankBrayman
What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?
AnnoyingRingtone
One is a sick duck and the other sucks dick?
FrankBrayman
I forget how the joke ends, but your mother is a whore.
makethepeniseskiss
Son of a bitch. Ya got me.
stevetehpirate
psuedomacabre
What do you call an epileptic in the oven? Shake and bake.
GorramPanda
As an epileptic this is amazing :)
McKittenMeat
What do you call an epileptic in a bush? Russell.
Lizaderp
This also works with Michael J Fox in the oven.
helicotrema
Or Michael J Fox in the bush or in the bath.
jcshishka
What do you do when an epileptic takes a bath? Throw in a load of laundry
stevetehpirate
What's blue and doesn't fit anymore?
stevetehpirate
A dead epileptic.
nineleftnuts
How do you know your sisters on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
SilkyMilkyGlobules
Dude.
OurLordAndSav
You took mine. +1
ThatsFuckingChess
You can make this worse by replacing 'dad' with 'dog'
nineleftnuts
I like the way you think, you filthy bastard you. +1
sinskas
NickM74
Dude jeez
jackocatt
Damn bro that's. Damn.
Jasperman62
Or shit ;)
PoopTrainDix
But shit doesn't have anything to do with her period, you dipshit idiot :) :)
SilkyMilkyGlobules
+1 for dipshit idiot. Lovely combo insult..
Jasperman62
Ha.. Obviously your mind not shitty enough to see the alternative outlined below.
witchkizzle
When the Red River is flowing, take the dirt road home. That is what he was getting at.
PoopTrainDix
Ah, that makes sense
mymanmaverick
A Muslim walks into a gay bar. The bartender asks him what he'll have. He replies "shots for everyone!"
ArmandoManatee
Woah now
tomyironmane
Dude... you're almost making me wish I had reenlisted, just to tell that joke to other Marines.
conquest
That's current, I like it!
Teevorkio
I gotta use this
souplipton
Don't know if this is the best or worst joke I've heard this year. Probably both
thatimgurfella
God damn it.
TheAlmightyPig
Holy shit... :)
Verdammung
mymanmaverick
I came to the party too late. Or it would have been top comment
thedaps
Woah... take my +1, tell no one.
WizardOfRaz
As a Muslim, +1
NunchuckMantis
A gay walks into a muslim bar. The goat thanks God he'll get a day off! *p.s. imma muslim!
Daswoms
Fucking savage!
LIamanator
Too soon.
Vicke01
Too fucking soon
blak
I'm pooping
SexyYoda
Me too
Radvstheworld
Shots fired?
Flonaise
Yeah you could say that.
mymanmaverick
At least 49 of them
mymanmaverick
What was that too far?!?!