TheNorthernMunky
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So I meet this chick 2.5 years ago on a dating website. I'm in the UK and she's in Texas. But we hit it off and she's awesome. We spend 5 months facetiming and then I fly to the US to spend Thanksgiving with her. Awesome.
It hasn't been super easy. There's been a lot of driving to airports...
...waiting for flights...
...and I've spent over 5 days of the last 2 years in the air.
Some things went really bad. My mum got cancer. She and my girlfriend really wanted to meet each other, so my girl set aside some travel anxiety and hopped on a plane in Feb 2014. They met, mum loved her and ordered me to take good care of her. Two days later, mum died. I suffered depression and became withdrawn; I acted like a real dick sometimes. But she stayed by my side the whole way through it and gave me strength when I needed it the most. She pulled me through the worst time of my life.
So I pulled her up a mountain, threw a ring at her and asked her a question...
...and she said yes!
We've taken road trips across Texas together...
And she's failed to take my mosquito bites seriously.
We've done Comic Con together...
She's fallen in love with my kids, and they've fallen in love with her.
So I wifed her. I wifed her real good.
And for me, one of the best things about my wedding was that my mum could be there (kinda).
This is me and my wife. My best friend and soulmate. I'm a very lucky guy.
Cat tax. Our kit-twins Jeff & Nyan.
PunnyTiger
+1 for hoverhand in pic #1
foreignfets
Congrats OP!
PinbotWizard
As a Longhorn who's been to Buc-ee's, can confirm Texas.
swirley0s
Congrats.. Have a +1... Fuck your happiness.
throughthoughtthough
5 days of flight time over 2 years? That's like 5 round trips.
TheNorthernMunky
I think it's 7 now, so yeah - more than 5 days in a flying tin can.
Bloodgod1234
Oh yeah? Well i wifed a domino's double peparoni pizza last night.
TheNorthernMunky
Achievement unlocked!
theczar90
You're going to have killer tea time barbecues
TheNorthernMunky
*Sips tea angrily (whilst cooking a giant steak)*
IllkillyouLeonardNimoyTheClownhasnopenis
Love this. Love you.
BasicBecca
You upvote whore. Feck off.
TheNorthernMunky
Thanks, stranger on the internet. You're cool too!
wherearemypajamas
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/11/Smile-Smiling-Awkward-Smile-Awkard-Tihi-Hihi-HAHA-Funny-GIF.gif?gs=a
ThePriestTheyCalledHim
+1 for Nyan cat, congrats on the wife, and sorry about your mum OP! Good luck!!!
TheNorthernMunky
Nyan doesn't shit rainbows. I want my money back. And thanks :)
boredsandwich
May I ask where you proposed to her? It looks like Germany...? And Congratz, you two seem sweet and happy :)
supercalifragilisticexpealidocious15
+1 for Buckee's. And +1 for your Mum.
ImgGurServer
The mum story didn't make me cry, just watering my keyboard a little bit....
TheNorthernMunky
You should see the goodbye letter my daughter wrote her: http://northernmunky.com/2015/01/09/im-losing-my-head-get-your-money-out/
ImgGurServer
that was as much sad as beautiful (and thumbs up to the dad for supporting this behaviours). Best of luck!
Korga
You look like a great dude OP, congrats, you've made it! And I'm sure your mom was smiling down upon you that day.
TheNorthernMunky
Thank you, I feel like she was too.
Hooray4Everything
Nyan the cat = Upvote
TheNorthernMunky
I just wish she shat rainbows.
5aminsd
Congrats on the sex!
TheNorthernMunky
It felt so good when I did it with muh penis...
fartfartfartfart
Thats beautiful. I wish you guys all the luck
TheNorthernMunky
Thank you :)
dankiestdankdankdanker
Screw u and your happiness +1 :c
TheNorthernMunky
Sorrythx!
AndTHATShowwegetANTS
Hooray for happiness! Congrats!
novaprime
You've been to buc-ees
TheNorthernMunky
I go there at every possible opportunity.
novaprime
So, are you a Brit in Texas, or what?
TheNorthernMunky
Right now I am. Usually I'm a Brit in Britain.
KnightlyCAt
Are ya'll just sightseeing then? If so, where? Just wonderin. I'm not a cereal killer.
TheNorthernMunky
She's from Houston, that's where we are now for a few weeks. We'll live in Yorkshire for a few years and then settle in Texas somewhere.
PaulFerrar
If you ever find yourself in Denton, contact me and I'll give you some of my homemade beef jerky as a wedding gift. Congrats!
betwice
Ah! I live in Denton!
PaulFerrar
Small world
[deleted]
[deleted]
itsmebob
Bucee's will soon be in Denton! Little Elm (I think).
PaulFerrar
Send me nudes and I'll give you jerky, if you know what I mean ;)
10000LeaguesIntoTheShallows
Stop encouraging them to drive!
TheNorthernMunky
It's cool, I've almost got this whole 'wrong side of the road' thing down.
PaulFerrar
I think you mean right side of the road, pun intended.
TheNorthernMunky
Omg I love the jerky
MissClutz
Ahhh yissss. Buc-ee's. Also Congrats!
TheNorthernMunky
I eat way too many beaver nuggets.
MissClutz
I make the 40 min drive to the closest one too often. No shame.
TheNorthernMunky
Absolutely none. Treat yo'self!
MissClutz
Oh, I absolutely do.
TheNorthernMunky
Best day of the yeeeeear!
ungracefulninja
Being in a trans-atlantic relationship myself (me = NH, partner = Ireland), you gave me a smile and hope that everything will be ok.
shadyspace
I know this is incorrect but I still feel like New Hampshire and Ireland should be like right across the water from each other
TheNorthernMunky
It will! FaceTime is your friend. Good luck!
CommanderCaribou
Did you take her mosquito bites seriously? Hahahhaha boob joke. No good on ya op
BasicBecca
It's okay, I'm the president of the itty bitty titty committee. It's cool. I can sleep on my stomach and do yoga.
CommanderCaribou
Nothing wrong with small chests. Does your committee have jackets?
CommanderCaribou
Nothing wrong with small chests. Does your committee have jackets?
BasicBecca
Nah, just tank tops!
CommanderCaribou
Aw. I dunno whether that's good or bad
BasicBecca
With no boobs? It could go either way! (Damnit, I should have said tube tops!)
aaronmsachs
+1 for Bucees
WRiVen
I used to work there. The management is a big bundle of pricks.
fbspencer
I was looking for this comment too... You couldn't have chosen a wife from a better place OP!
thetonestarr
Came here to say this exact same thing. So +1 for "+1 for Bucees".
justasiam
Same here
nozerohero
Best goddamn bathrooms
tcsounds
Add another one to the list of people who spotted the Bucees shirt!
TheNorthernMunky
It was subtle, but important.
TheNorthernMunky
It's my spiritual home.
ItsThatDamnHanselHesSoHotRightNow
Now we can accept you into our Texan heard.
geonerd
It says, "I have embraced Texas culture, and enjoy clean restrooms!".
tcsounds
.. and beaver nuggets.
ChefObvious
Woody's for the jerky, Bucees for the rest.
DONTsendtits
Because of this comment and as a fellow Texan; we have accepted you as one of our own. Congrats!
TheNorthernMunky
I am humbled and honored. See how I used the American spelling of honored? It has begun.
DONTsendtits
Haha, I just didn't notice any spelling mistakes.
madetheaccountjustforyou
Fucking immigrants taking our women.
BasicBecca
With their accents and good healthcare!
LobstahTheKitty
is your wife 18 at least?
TheNorthernMunky
She's 28
ShootyMcShooterFace
WIFE HER HARDER
LobstahTheKitty
ok
TheNorthernMunky
Ima show her your comment though - she'll love you for that.
GoSchoons29
Congrats OP! But, Boomer Sooner, out of respect of course.
TheNorthernMunky
My new stepfather-in-law is a Sooner!
rushroc
+10 for Buc ee's Shirt...I have the same exact one. Congrats from Dallas you crazy Texish couple! :)
TheNorthernMunky
I wear it through customs and the border agents are super nice to me :) And thank you!
ButterCoffee
Was about to say the same, and hello there Dallas I'm from Fort Worth.
LoveEngineFive
Your wife is lovely, but a bit skinny. (Coming from a 5'7" 119b woman.) I hope she is able to put a few healthy lbs on (muscle!!) :)
KingTrashmouth
I eat like crazy, 5'0, weight fluctuates between 88-90, some people are just small.
cupcakealliiiiiii
Idk why someone downvoted. It just doesn't look healthy. It's concerning
TheNorthernMunky
I can assure you that she eats extremely healthily. She's naturally thin and tries very hard to keep her weight up.
cupcakealliiiiiii
I'm glad she does, and I'm being genuine in that. I had a friend who had an overactive thyroid and she never got enough nutrients. Scary.
TheNorthernMunky
A lot of people assume that she strives to be so thin but she doesn't. She'd much rather put on 20lb. I don't care as long as she's healthy.
TheNorthernMunky
She tries very hard to maintain/increase her weight. She eats very well. She's only 15lb behind you and about the same height.
LoveEngineFive
I'm sure she does, and that's reassuring. I had thyroid and gallbladder issues that caused significant weight loss. Glad she's okay!
acommotion
:o that's really underweight... BMI of 16.4 has she ever consulted a dietitian? btw congratz to you to!
FatmanSaul
As a fellow English, congrats on re-establishing a base in the colonies, our plan is coming into fruition.
Grumgr
My god...America's oldest enemy...
chooseday
We're going to ban all the fake "iced" tea. Heathens!
MrHood
Long live the empire!
FatmanSaul
HUZZAH!
raptorclawhandshake
Texas was never your colony.
SaveTheMuggles
If we can't get them out, we'll breed them out.
yellowdove
hmm...Seattleite here with a British husband...oh dearie...THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!! TO ARMS! (j/k not to arms.)
ImReallyVent
You've been going the slow route. Clever you cunt.
FatmanSaul
Ya gotta play the long game, 250 years is long enough.
yellowdove
hmm...Seattleite here with a British husband...oh dearie...THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!! TO ARMS! (j/k not to arms.)
McKavian
If you look like this Wife, I cannot blame them.
freyjaboo
Just coming eh eh?
FatmanSaul
Tell me more about the attractive single female friends that you have...
FatmanSaul
Tell me more about the attractive single female friends that you have...
Horus175
As a 'murican, do you think you could step up the schedule a little? I don't really want Trump or Clinton to be president.
themoodypancake
Vermin supreme anymore?
themoodypancake
Anyone?*...
TheOneGalen
whoops, sorry for the two-weeks-later reply. I'm browsing old posts.
TheOneGalen
I'd vote for him over Trump for sure.
TheManWithNoNameZappBrannigan
They picked the most heavily armed place to do it.... Your chances of success don't exist.
FatmanSaul
We don't need guns, we infiltrate your media using actors that do your accents, we present your shows, and tv wins elections in 'murica.
BasicBecca
Or so you think...
WTFmoonmoon
But if they succeed in Texas, you guys are pretty much fucked.
TheManWithNoNameZappBrannigan
I dunno man, the whole rest of the south will take offense to it. Violently.
AhhhApplesauce
As someone from NC. I don't really care for Texas. Sorry?
ThelisDrogo
Texas isnt our enemy...they are our new ally....MWAHAHAHAHA
TheManWithNoNameZappBrannigan
Cheeky bastards
LaBix
We don't want to overthrow Texas, we're just going to be good neighbours and help them get independence. We'll breakup your union. Muhahaha
TheManWithNoNameZappBrannigan
You clever bastards!
freyjaboo
I for one welcome our British overlords
FatmanSaul
Well hello there
freyjaboo
Hellooo
FatmanSaul
I'm your friendly neighbourhood overlord, is there anything I can do for you this evening?
freyjaboo
What part Britain? I somehow managed to fall in love with Manchester and Salford
RoyFuckingMustang
Ya know if you think you can fix the US I'm about ready to give her back to ya'll. Good fucking luck with this shite.
StripperGloves
Them's fightin' words, partner.
ThelisDrogo
First fix....goodbye assult rifles, hand guns, bazzokas etc. If it aint for huntings its getting melted!!!
RoyFuckingMustang
I'd be okay with that.
BasicBecca
Oh noes D:
chloramphenicolderivative
Oh yes >:D
FatmanSaul
Oh yeah....first we lure you with our manners and accent, THEN WE TAKE BACK EVERYTHING WE ONCE OWNED.
BasicBecca
It totally worked! Except.. I'm actually moving to England?? Is this a part of the plan?
FatmanSaul
Yeah, we didn't build an empire based on keeping the talent overseas, bring them here and let them think it's a good idea.
Imalumberjackandimprettygood
The Second Amendment begs to differ
TheNorthernMunky
Shh, don't spill the plan, man!
FatmanSaul
It's ok, they'll think I'm making jokes, they don't understand our humour at all. Just smile and wave, like we practised.
kkus
truth be told I am just excited about buc'ees
AMacGyver
As a Pennsylvania, you guys can have Texas...and pretty much everything that's both south of Tennessee and east of the Mississippi river.
BasicBecca
+ you guys killed the friendly hitch-hiking robot. Don't you realize we make Texas seem crazy to keep others out? #conspiracy
stpdacct99
Fucking yinzer
AMacGyver
Erie, not Pittsburgh.
BasicBecca
This seems like the typical response from a landlocked northerner. HOWS THE SNOW?
AMacGyver
Strangely lacking in amount for this time of year. We need more. Ordinarily we have a shit ton more by now.
soaringmonkey96
Amazing... How's living where it is hot and sticky all the time?
thirdcoast
I had to open up the greenhouse today because its 70 degrees. I wore shorts and a cutoff to do so. Enjoy your next winter storm dick cheese.
TheNorthernMunky
Ahh yes, Pennsylvania. The only place crazy enough to murder a hitch-hiking robot.
RedVagOfCourage
That was Philly though! The rest of us aren't quite as horrible.
FatmanSaul
What story is this?! It sounds amazing.