ZarinaBlue
81044
2785
50
First and last picture of us.
Feb 2, 2025 9:03 AM
ZarinaBlue
81044
2785
50
First and last picture of us.
Supnov
I cry.
MisterD90
im not ready for this on a sunday morning ='(
Im sorry for your loss
giveusalol
I’m so sorry.
onetiredchef
damn, sorry for your loss
AzgarOgly
sorry for your loss
DOcelot1
WeeemRCB
Losing your person is...
I'm hoping you have the support you need and people to talk to when you need to. Professional and personal.
Weird thing you'll find is that often people try to skirt the subject because they don't want you to get upset, but you'll probably want to talk about them.
The person the were and stuff they got up to.
Talking about them keeps them here with us a little longer
It's been 4 years since I lost my person. Still think of her every day ❤️
CaptainHyperbole
I’m sorry for your loss, I know that’s not much but I really am. Losing someone is a horrible thing. I hope you take care of yourself and do what you need to for that.
hornedbeastie
So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.
PoptartCK16083
I am so so sorry for your loss. I hope you have your village there with you, but if you need more- feel free to message me. Please continue to take care of yourself & give yourself time to heal & grieve ❤️
Spoonland
this breaks my hearth. hugs to you @op. stay strong. take your time. linger here, we're silly but united and somehow lovely.
everspaceman
If and when you want to, tell us about him. You both seemed to have found your forever person in those pictures on the left. It's a wonderful thing to have, and so goddamn cruel to have lost so young.
TheHumanSeason
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Deonan
I'm so sorry.
Grogu0007
Hi Deonan
kimmycat57
I'm so very sorry.. I just lost my sister in October... Virtual hug. Talk to people, crying if you have to and be around people
JayMoney8518
I am sorry. Know that he is grateful for you standing strong until the end. Now is it time to take care of yourself and recover
GreenNinja22
He loved you…. He LOVES you!
mezzidriel
My mom with through this with my dad. My heart breaks for you.
polepolekaz
A big, big hug.
ParallelParkingInABurka
Oh no.
BeastofKnowledge
He was lucky to have you.
My fiancée couldn't deal with me having brain cancer and left.
After she had an affair for a year an took me for every dollar she could.
alwaysupvotethegoat
Wow. That’s awful.
BeastofKnowledge
Having someone there when you need them is everything.
Having no one there in the end is more horrible than dying and is the nightmare that I currently live every day.
ricpaul
Holy crap... That's horrible. My wife was there every step of the way (often NOT actually there but making sure the kids had a somewhat normal life which meant the world to me). No chance in hell I would have been able to pull through without her help.
iamthecomet
Holy fuck
dancingbarefootonlego
Damn. So sorry.
Philexspectorate
All i see is love and devotion.... rest well friend. Wishing you strength...
alwaysupvotethegoat
Way too many Americans are dying earlier than they should. Looks like you both got robbed. You are not alone. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
OppaGangnamPyle
How do you know they're American? Not everyone is.
alwaysupvotethegoat
You’re right. That was an assumption.
fjk3
Remember the times filled with love.
Narsuaq
Life is fucking cruel sometimes. :(
PancakeLegend
Sorry for your loss.
badpuppeh81
The anniversary of the day I turned my dad's life support off, is rapidly approaching. His face is still the last thing I see at night and the first thing in the morning. Fuck cancer so very much, I'm so sorry for you.
afterdarkart
I lost my dad when I was 9. The last memory I have of him was turning around in a parking lot in Bryce Canyon AZ and seeing him fall backwards and hearing the sound of his head hit the pavement. His heart gave out, no one did CPR, and by the time he got to Salt Lake City, he was brain dead with a very, very clear DNR. Its been 31 years and I cannot ever forget that sound, and every time I smell burnt/dry underbrush it brings me right back.
Etherealvalentine
Love you
badpuppeh81
I have a number of trigger objects/smells etc, I'm sorry for you. I know what it feels like.
ProudAussie
Condolences on your loss.
marquettegoldeneagles
Its true it happens this way but it doesn't seem possible in three beginning. Get into therapy right away and give yourself time. Plenty of it.
TheFishFace
Most people need time and compassion after loss, not therapy. It's disturbing to me that something that is a part of everyone's life is being treated as something that will typically result in long lasting problems unless treated by a professional.
Lachwen
You do realize that most of grief counseling (which is a specific type of therapy) consists of showing the grieving person compassion and reassuring them that what they are feeling is normal? Because deep grief often makes you feel in the moment like you're losing your mind, and reassurance that you're not makes processing your grief that much easier.
TheFishFace
It doesn't really matter what grief counselling *is* because I'm not saying it's rubbish or never necessary. I'm saying that recommending it preemptively is bad and insidious
heerobya
I was told (and experience) it like this:
You know the old “dvd logo bouncing around the tv screen” thing?
That’s your grief. The TV border is your mind. The grief is always bouncing around in there. You often don’t notice.
Every so often, be it a memory or a date or whatever, you “hit the corner” and or activates the grief all over again.
It never really heals or feels “better” it’s just over time… you hit that corner less and less often.
daydreamerofsleep
I’ve been told this and love this analogy.
twisti
I like to think of it like a hurt toe, or a hangnail or something like that. Over time, you learn how to avoid bumping it into things, but every now and then, it still happens. And you also learn not to be so startled by the pain as you get more used to it, and get used to it passing.
marsilies
The Ball and The Box Analogy /gallery/ball-box-analogy-Pm9ndZ3
ProudAussie
Yeah exactly. But I can't find that image. I was given that 2 years ago when my dad died. Still hurts. Added pain was losing his/mine dog later that year..
itsygo
I found this a while ago and think it really fits well.
ProudAussie
Thank you. That's the one.
friendsofsandwiches
jesus fuck, I wish you didn't have to go through with that.
God, he looks a billion years old there. And you look...well...alive.
Coyotito007
If u dont fit, dont post
thelonepig
Ok so I can't believe you need to be told this but: don't insult people's dying loved ones. JFC you just HAD to let her know her husband looked bad?? Type that up and post it??
Doctorfatherson
Maybe you can stop by and kick her dog too
airfonzo
I'm sensing a bit of the 'tism. I get it.
OppaGangnamPyle
Maybe don't talk to people anymore.
Rips4w
Lmao
Magicalunicornmayonnaise
I'm struggling to think of a worse way you could have commented
GeneralDisorder
"that's a challenging wank but I got through it"
bmg50barrett
You always know just what to say.
theeAndikrist
Everyone shows love in their own, special way.
Howboutdempackers
Yeah i usually try to remind the grieving person how shitty their loved one looked in their last moments on earth. You know, just spreading the love
N9inb0x
To others, as someone who's neurodivergent: I don't see this as the commentor trying to be an ass. I see it as more of a bitter, sympathetic statement of noticing how their loved one went through hell- how they both probably did. How unfair it is that their loved one wasn't as healthy too.
I'm assuming this post translates to, "It's a shitty situation, and I'm sorry it happened." The commentor is free to correct me. But please people, ask first to make sure before you get mad at someone.
MissAizea
I'm AuDHD, so I've made some fuck ups. It's not impossible for ND people to just not comment. If you're not sure, just don't say anything. Especially in emotionally charged situations. I also made the same observation as this commentor (but kept it to myself). I try to ask myself if I'm being helpful before I comment. Does this need to be said? Do other people have eyes that can also see? Being ND is a challenge, but it's no excuse not to try to be better, and sometimes that means apologizing.
N9inb0x
Individuals who are on the spectrum have wildly different ways and degrees to which they are affected by their disabilities because it's just that; a spectrum. So while you boast having the ability to have forethought and tell others to just keep things to themselves (which I find ironic and insensitive), your thoughts are not how the disability works at all. They do not need to apologize for meaning well- they only need to explain if asked. They're doing their best. Your "advice" is not needed.
N9inb0x
And before there's any replies if I am correct in my assumption: no, not everyone is capable of understanding how their words could be taken poorly by others. Socializing is ridiculously complex and difficult as it is, and it doesn't help that things become even more delicate in a sensitive situation to the point that eggshells are being walked on without noticing despite meaning their best. Try to think of it from a different point of view and have some sympathy for those who might be trying.
N9inb0x
To be clear, this is not me trying to detract from the situation and make it about this poster. Others have said what I already felt about OP's loss and I upvoted, hoping that it's at least seen that even if I don't feel the need to add to what already exists, that they'll at least see that a lot of people felt similar and extend their sympathies in that way. All I can add is that I would never wish this sort of thing on anyone.
P.S., sorry OP for adding to the drama.
FetchtheRaven
Nah you're right. I didn't read it as malicious either. Condolences to OP, and thank you for explaining a different perspective.
friendsofsandwiches
thankies. THing is, I went through this exact same thing the OP went through, different disease. Except I did NOT do enough, I could have brought mom to hospital days before, but she said no, she'll get to it on monday. Body stewed in infection over the weekend. Not long after, it ate her alive, and all I could do was call friends and family, and say goodbye, and try and carry on.
Nothing anyone can say would help, but anyone who would speak truth, not platitudes, was welcome. Unfortunately,
friendsofsandwiches
those kinds of people were few and far between.