big bag of assholes on dinosaur legs

Feb 21, 2018 8:49 PM

GalaxyGrace

Views

116940

Likes

1944

Dislikes

72

My friend brought this hilarious story to my attention because she knows how much I hate emus.
They will now be called "murder birds". We voted.

Is that the Twitter user also the author of a bunch of urban fantasy books?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i first assumed she meant the other emus ate guys for being a dick and they scavenged her 5lbs. that's probably not how it went.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I want to hear about the mountain lion

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

She could probably have gotten those AC guys written up for unsafe disposal.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Was hunted by 3 emu once. Was not fun at all.

8 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Writing badass books and fostering murder birds. What a lady

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

You're on the Front Page now, we voted.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

This was a wild ride from start to finish.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So are emus I hear.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did she write Every Heart a Doorway? It seems like her writing style.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I now need to feast on the flesh of emus...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think there is some at our local grocery store, and I live in Canada.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Even animal control are a bunch of smug asses and their not even real cops. I would have shut and locked the door on em. Fuck them.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

tbh i have met plenty of emu's but i'm yet to meet one that wasn't an asshole.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gus was delicious.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I once emu-sat for some friends with exotic pets. God that thing was an asshole.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dramatic re-enactment of cat vs. emu: v

8 years ago | Likes 112 Dislikes 0

Literally laughed out loud +1

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thanks for the legitimate audible laugh, as opposed to a rush of air from my nostrils laugh.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Went camping as a teenager with some friends. Got drunk and lost. Ended up in a gods forsaken emu farm. Terrifying murder birds is accurate

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

These are not the murder birds. You're thinking of Cassowaries. These are Conqueror Chickens. Ask the Aussies.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"They sent me five pounds of Gus." I wonder if I laughed so hard because that's my dad's name... Hm.

8 years ago | Likes 132 Dislikes 0

So your mom gets about 5 pounds of Gus every night? Or possibly 5 pounds from Gus every night.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

mine are just birds in general, don't trust 'em, used to be dinosaurs and all that

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I guess it’s true, that since they are mostly dinosaurs, we should expect them to be violent assholes mostly. I’ve eaten ostrich. Was good.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an Australian and someone who has eaten Emu I must ask how anyone likes it. It tastes like really oil ants.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*oily

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have two emus, actually... One is very sweet and lets you hug her, the other is teeming with rage and she tries to attack me frequently.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I only assume her rage is due to being kept in a 10x10 foot pen and fed only a handful of hay daily before my parents rescued her.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The sweet one I hand raised from a chick and she's always been a goofy dork.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You get an upvote. We voted.

8 years ago | Likes 320 Dislikes 1

884 to 40. The Ups have it!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Imgur doesn't care if you voted! Wait I'm being informed that, that is pretty much how Imgur works, carry on.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I vote nay, for our fallen (mildy embarassed, mainly drunk) australian comrades. But i upvote all the same. Due to hilarity

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I vote yay, because of the great emu war of Australia

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seanan M, the author?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yep, her twitter is full of stuff like this.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She says she became an exotic animal way station like it was accidental or something. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

Probably worked for an animal sanctuary or some sort of facility and just didn’t mention that because it wouldn’t be as cool

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Knowing her a lifetime ago, it might have been completely accidental and she just rolled with it.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Having spoken to her a few weeks ago, it was not accidental at all. She just loves weird animals.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exotic animal care givers exist in a mysterious limbo where they're licensed and word of mouth connects them to animals.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

They're licensed and vaccinated and wahey, but sometimes the vet is like I GOTS A BAT, and now the care giver has a bat.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

But you don't accidentally become an exotic animal care giver.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2