TonguePunchDeBumSon
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Balancing on a door!
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Just take the stairs next time...
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What could go wrong?
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HMB while I do a handstand on the trunk of this car
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I don’t think I’ll ever run out of stupid to post. Episode 1 here: https://imgur.com/gallery/JI75f FP edit: just woke up to 2 more front page posts! You guys are awesome. Send stupid people! Edit 2: I see a number of people were a bit squeamish over the fates of some of our stupid prizes so if you need to feel better here’s one where no one is punished for their stupidity https://imgur.com/gallery/6GZ1p says a lot about humans that this post never took off.
welcomestranger
Man, when the first one starts off with fucking wedged fingers, you know you are in for a trip.
MutantTurd
As someone who has knocked out his front teeth in a bike crash, all of the ones where they face plant made me cringe so hard.
just4favs
Felt #1 in my soul. Yeesh.
PilgrimScott
#2: Jeep said "WASH ME" like 6 months ago. Now it's time for a god damn bath, Kevin!
classicgrinder
Oh god, no... This is awful. I am so clenched up right now. +1
AssGrapez
That poor woman in the first one
fencer1964
Nah, she earned it. PSGWSP.
Giant0tter
If the bull guy actually survived that....damn
debugstatement
Bonevi
HereForTheFreeSamples
+1 for some I have never seen before. Good find OP!
TonguePunchDeBumSon
I live to serve
alpalboygenius
#19 Mondays, amiright?
cosonfused
#15 was on purpose, i'm just sayin
flavinbagel
These are horrible. They're so uncomfortable to watch. Are there any more of them?
TonguePunchDeBumSon
Chaimgoldbergenstein
#30 EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING
Vloddamick
coldcuttin
Don’t think I’d wanna see most of these in 4K!
docmuteki
#1 AAAAARGH!
Fustilarian
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7FemtsvV1Y
TonguePunchDeBumSon
I know right?! AAAAHRG!
noyoucannothavemyusername
That’s as far as I got with this post before I had to scroll down to the comments
Pray4Mantis
My fingers genuinely hurt watching this... I’m a sadist on my 10th time now ARGHHH
GreenYawgmoth
She won the door prize.
CarpeMofo
That one made my butthole clench.
RingSting
I saw that one years ago and it still haunts me.
ctennessen
Hell I give her props for stopping and using her other hand to open the door instead of panicking and yanking her bad hand out
RealCameleer
Lhos
DarthFluffyBottom
https://imgur.com/ZARLDCf
HorribleMonster
This was my reaction when the door slammed shut over my fingers. You know, those heavy steel doors on boats? It was a pretty major owie.
SuburbanRob0t
Those fake finger nails stuck in that real door
LiquidMilk
I'm afraid it's a bit more than the nails.. Looks more like it took off a couple fingertips
SuburbanRob0t
Hehe :) Maybe! I have an aversion to nail injuries so I’d almost rather lose fingertips than fingernails.
liamllama
Thats the only one that made my body do the ....thing.
quitealargebus
Jack off furiously?
liamllama
Pretty much the same feeling.
ashIG88
my stomach dropped on a few of these... ouch!
windexismygravy
I had to stop and come back to finish these. People are so dumb.
TonguePunchDeBumSon
I reckon #1 got me the worst to be honest
byohzzrd
Some of these look like intentional JackAssery, some are Darwin failing to thin the herd.
DrKriegersClone
I'm not sure all of these would have survived. #27 just looks supremely unlucky though; it doesn't seem all that stupid.
TonguePunchDeBumSon
Hm no safety harness, top rung of ladder and one handed cutting? I’m gunna call at least a little stupid.
DrKriegersClone
I missed that he was on the top rung. The rest sounds pretty normal for non-commercial work on one's own land though.
AndreKroon
Stupid but atleast trying to do something of value. Better than most of the idiots shown.
DIINKELBERG
Imalwaysready
Well, I mean, you have to look right at it to see if it works, right?
leechdemon
Saw his mom's nudes, was trying to repair the damage. Worked!
michaelhb
Rifneno
"Everyone stupid should fucking die." - what Internet shitposters who know nothing about Darwin think he wrote
ReallyBadMemory
The Darwin awards are about natural selection. I.e. if you do dumb stuff and die your genes are out of the pool
Rifneno
Yes, I'm aware that people who don't know shit about Darwin made an "award" in his "honor". And?
ReallyBadMemory
And so people who are stupid and can’t survive in today’s world die out. I don’t see the point you’re trying to make. Everyone’s taught this
Rifneno
1-"Darwin approves". Darwin didn't write about what he liked or approved of, he wrote about what IS. He didn't enjoy it. In fact, he gave
Notmybeardedladynotmycarnival
Natural selection hard at work in these
Imalwaysready
Only in the ones where they haven't bred yet.
getotterhere
Schizophorensic
#11 Uhmm, turning into a dragon is not a stupid prize
homerthompson1
I like that you could actually see him scream
HomebrewRecipesMyWayPLZ
#15 was probably intentional. But pretty damn amazing.
RxFukitall
The only one I thoroughly enjoyed.
SchizophrenicMC
Completely intentional. The car was a beater and they wanted to see if it was feasible to remove the engine by reversing.
funkmoth
#2 did you have time to reinforce the takeoff ramp? No? Awesome!
evillittlecar
I saw the YouTube video. They were intentionally destroying the pool.
Imalwaysready
Or, you know, build it high enough?
DrunkGermanGuy
Look at the angle of the ramp, Jeep was always going to crash into the pool. Not to mention it was so slow I doubt it could jump that far.
downvotemetooblivionplease
No sympathy for people who do that shit at railroad crossings.
tighthead01
The blood came out of #20 so fast, I sat here wondering which artery in his face he broke. Wow!
mgbeop87
Removed his own nose
Imalwaysready
Now he'll never be a teen model!
IReactToCommentsInMemesAndGifs
Escalator treads have teeth on the edge. This dumb dude donated some of his to it.
EZMONEY98
All the arteries
ConAirWasAGreatMovie
This was the worst one for me.
Imalwaysready
I imagined that was tongue blood from the biting. Probably spit out a few teeth as well.
Hamncheezsandwich
Imagine hitting those serrated escalator stair edges at that speed with your face... my god. His face is effed.
DROlD
Probably spit it, front teeth gone and face hits the metal shards
TonguePunchDeBumSon
Shit I never even saw that!
KaseiVallis
Hey, whose teeth are these?
Rumpled4skin
this dude ended up knocking out a fair amount of his front teeth
MarioPoppins
I am sure it was worth it
thatguy1943
Sauce?
MarioPoppins
No, that's blood
Rumpled4skin
nothing super credible, it was just follow ups for videos like this. if I can find it I'll post the link and delete this comment
bed1am6666
No just post them as a reply to the comment.
Antrazit
I think it's fake. There is a clear cut before the impact and his good disappears
F2PBTWP2WSCUM
How can you think that is fake?
shankelstoff
HIS GOOD DISAPPEARS!
Srcsqwrn
HIS FUCKING GOOD!
ino84
It’s not fake. There are pictures of the aftermath which I happen to know for... reasons. Let’s say falling face first on metal edges is bad
Ariltongadottir
What kind of damage did he suffer?
ino84
Some teeth were gone, bit his tongue/cheek, all busted open. Going off memory here and I don’t really want to memorize this.
TheBlueMuppet
Looks like at least 3d6.
JustSquanching
Welcome to Imgur. Where it's ok to watch someone die, as long as you can't see their nipples...
ODSTsRule
Isnt that the US?
Tanishh
That’s America in general, not just Imgur. You can see dawn of the dead on tv mostly unedited except for curses and boobs. Violence? NP.
stinkingyeti
I feel that is a very under rated comment there.
ChameleonFacedGoon
And the points don't matter, but people beg for points anyway
N00blett
What kind of idiot would think that ramp in #5 is enough?
alicefreak47
I may be giving way too much credit, but I think they were intentionally trying to destroy it and just wanted to have fun doing it.
doesntmatter
I just assumed they wanted to drive through it, not over it.
baxxt14
Must be a Top Gear enthusiast.
TheVampireDante
Someone that's watched too many Knight Rider reruns.
LeSethX
Or in #2. Like even rednecks have to know the ramp has to be higher than the object they are jumping over, right?!
BreadyStinellis
Them Duke boys are at it again!
TheUnsolicitedDuckPic
never under estimate how stupid people can be
HotshotRobot
I feel like #2 was intentional. Getting rid of an old pool, might as well do it in a fun way.
jomama64
True, but than why would they have a ramp on the other end?
HotshotRobot
It’s not on the other end, it’s kind of diagonal. And it looks like a bike ramp. Just having some fun before destruction, I’d guess.
Jacogs
Some of these people must be dead, right?
[deleted]
[deleted]
backet
Man, that subreddit is really literal, just saw someone get cut in half by the tires of an 18 wheeler
wormsdie
I don't post comments about it very often - viewer discretion is seriously advised :/
sockerbeta
6 and 8 looks like the worst. All other have a higher probability of survival.
Picklesgoat
Wall climber and the kid jumping his scooter off the stairs alone are in the running.
Varderal
Both survived. Broke things, but survived.
BlameBilly
Darwinism
bastich
Hopefully.
derekjohn
God ! I hope so.
bagelman2
For some of these, hopefully.
JosXII
lets hope
bluepopsicles
some of my organs are injured just watching these
RapAnd
Hopefully
Brandy321
my exact same thoughts
BrayerIncognito
#19 looks like there's someone in the phone box they hit. Can see them walking away from that.
Varderal
Could just be something behind it too. Can't be too sure on that one.
BrayerIncognito
*can't.
Imalwaysready
One of my first thoughts was wondering how many bodies, alive and hurt or dead, subway systems have to scrap off their platforms every week.
CanOnlySayYes
at least 0
James123go
They are A Okay !
armahon
thats exactly what I thought!!
GraysonSwigert
Gotta be
youwontlikewhateveriwrite
Lets hope if not dead, they've been at least rendered sterile.
bluecardinal
A-m'effin'-men.
runyoucleverbouyandremember
Almost ubiquitous theme: MALES
Fedotia
Door-fingers, Stair-ramp, slide-fence, pole-crotch, weightlifter... are female, some other are too blurry to guess.
murdles
The pole crotch is 100% dude
khele
We do most of the dumb shit but we also do most of the awesome shit.
SoundPirate
We?
HQDefault
You say that because you think men are stupid, but it's more like they are more frequently conditioned to act dangerously and take risks.
Zoroasterisk
Testosterone is a mind-altering substance
Its1am
balzanya
TormentedPenguin
The shit we do to get laid!...
greyspears
Yes i died of laughter.
LillyVixen
I'm studying to be a nurse, and all I could think was "I'm going to be keeping these idiots alive"
MSGinSC
Well, at least you'll have job security.
Basementcat
Bahahahahaha
balzanya
razor scooter kid he ded
LobMasheen
HS really? seems unconcious after all
BishlamekGurpgork
Not all head injuries are immediately fatal, but I don't know anything about this event.
StereotypicalFurfag
It was a show that took an in-depth look at the injuries and recovery process of people in clips like these.
StereotypicalFurfag
If I remember correctly he was not fine, but he was not dead. He and the clip were on an old TV show called SCARRED if I remember correctly
Prebez
About a third, I'm guessing, which is why I couldn't bring myself to upvote.
DarkerTheVoidmage
Don't feel bad for them, they won Darwin Awards! With that they achieved more in their life as probably around half of us :Ü™
CmRock136
I get the feeling some people on Imgur think death is entertaining. Quite disturbing really.
aelfer
https://zippy.gfycat.com/FewMellowAustrianpinscher.webm
Varderal
I don't find it entertaining. I do however find some hope in that Darwin may still be acting on the human populous.
Prebez
I ain't afraid of no ghost
AnAccountToPostThis
The car getting hit by the train is 200% dead after that pole.
Varderal
No someone posted a new source for that one. The driver, and their KIDS, survived that. Driver got off light though IMO.
ilovegramsalot
Yeah, took me a sec to realize Mr. Compactor Pole was waiting for that driver.
MultiTrackDrifting
By now most have recovered and died of old age.
avatarstateyipyipp
You mean they were allowed to reproduce?!
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Not all of them
JCFreak
What? Reproduction was never even mentioned
avatarstateyipyipp
Well if they lived to be old they must have had kids at some point
HowLongIsAChineseName
Feeling hopeful for yourself, are you?
PossiblyATank
That's not how that works
RedStarBeograd
this one for sure:
Varderal
Apparently broken ankles, quite lucky. He landed on his legs, the bones will take the energy of that for him. He'll hurt, but live.
Vercci
Legs first probably not.
trinityj1
He didn't die. Broke something, recovered, and then did it again successfully. There's an article somewhere.
xj4low
So you're saying he didn't learn to not do it after the first time?
YamatoIouko
If he somehow survived, I think he likely wishes he didn't.
LizardSphereX
He wasn't high enough to reach terminal velocity, so there is a chance he just really fucked himself up
IHaveABridgeToSell
Terminal velocity = largest attainable free fall speed for an object. Not necessarily speed that kills you. Usually, though.
donkeymoney
lol terminal velocity has nothing to do with death. most accidental drops at 20ft+ are fatal.
LizardSphereX
Gotta be honest, I typed my comment in a hurry and didn't think it through. My bad lol
BishlamekGurpgork
Even at terminal velocity, there are survivors. But he drops on his legs, so chances are he just (just) broke his legs.
donkeymoney
no there aren't
BishlamekGurpgork
Nicholas Alkemade and Juliane Koepcke are the first instances Google returned without extra circumstances, like landing on a downward
BishlamekGurpgork
4) their legs into kindling, but it happens.
BishlamekGurpgork
3) in a farmer's field, and at least one water bail, but I'm too lazy to really dig for it. Suffice to say it's rare, they normally break
BishlamekGurpgork
slope or being slowed by glass skylights. I know I heard of a witnessed incident where a skydiver's chute failed to open and he landed
sockerbeta
Almost 3 stories up. Yup. High probability of bones through vital organs. I just had an interesting thought...
sockerbeta
Had it been an animal, we would have put it out of its misery. Wouldn't it have been mercy to do the same here if he survived? The amount...
sockerbeta
of stupid required to go from idea to actually doing this should grant a Darwin award at the very least
GreenIsBetterThanBlyou
Animals don't have the ability to heal as well as humans. Which is why we kill them in these instances
Prebez
Most of these are more tragic than funny.
nextgenpants
Tramedy.
GreenYawgmoth
Comedy is just tragedy that happens to someone else.
Brucecori2
Yeah... if there was a person in the passenger seat of the dumb fuck who decided to try and weave through the train posts, they're dead.
HeistheZissou
It comes back around again. Just wait.
IamtheFonz
#27 is tragic but the way he was ejected off the ladder is kinda funny. Hope the guy is ok tho
Amesus
Probably a few broken ribs and something much worse if he didnt turn off the chainsaw before the tree rammed it into his torso.
Imalwaysready
All I could think watching that one was. "To Isengard. The Ents are going to war!"
robboscouse10
Comedy equals tragedy plus time. Also the fact that it's mostly idiots getting hurt so, you know, fuck those guys.
tzap
Or.. Tragedy plus time equals comedy. You can still have comedy without tragedy. Anyway - laughing at others getting horribly hurt is awful.
fadecomic
Yeah, but every single one of us has done something stupid that could've ended badly at some point. These guys were idiots in the moment.
LooseSeall
Ive done stupid shit don’t get me wrong but never anything that dumb with fire, a chainsaw, a train, or any shit that can really fuck you up
LooseSeall
That being said, I don’t think it’s particularly funny. I was more in awe the entire time thinking “what did y’all expect??”
Varderal
#13 and #31. They ded. Especially 13.
Fifofu
#13, she had to be brain dead in the first place to do such thing.
opetchas
It was a man driving: https://blog.chron.com/thehighwayman/2014/04/suv-driver-involved-in-metro-collision-unlicensed/
Fifofu
Oh, places I saw say the driver named Raunel was also a woman. https://iloveanimals.co/reckless-driver-suv-reconstructed-metro-train
MrDrWatson
I've seen several cases of #31, it's a concussion, lights out, as dangerous as a boxing knockout. Probably survived.
Hargy89
You would hope so, wouldn't you? We don't need such degenerate DNA contaminating the human genome.
wollawollawolla
#31 is probably fine, only so much damage can be done when you're knocked over.
BrayerIncognito
looks like there's someone in the phone box in #19 ...ded for sure.
Varderal
Maybe, but not sure.
JCrashB
Yup. And in the name of the gene pool: Good riddance.
ctennessen
I tried finding a source for #13 but on mobile it's a bitch. Everyone in comments is making assumptions based grainy footage
CaptainYesterday
@cattoebeans posted this https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston
Varderal
Someone found a source, I said ded because of the squeezing by the train and the pole. Truth: not ded.
Izzdude
#11 tho? He's never gonna talk again
magicrhombus
It wouldn't be pleasant, but things don't tend to burn for long when swallowed. No oxygen. Likely more surface damage than internal.
MichaelCBennett
I know a guy that happened to. (South Korea, 04, great time) Some nasty scaring, turned his black throat white. But he was otherwise fine.
Varderal
Nah he'll be fine. Swallowed things don't burn, no oxygen. Hell have some painful, but not too bad burns on his neck and face though.
cattoebeans
#13 had no deaths. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston/
zuken
With children in the car? That's taking the irresponsibility to the next level.
xj4low
But they are in a hurry. Did they get where they needed to be on time?
TormentedPenguin
#27 and #6 would be my votes for dead..
Varderal
#27, could survive, the killsitch on the chainsay should keep that from doing him in, and the fall isn't too bad. He'll not be happy though.
TormentedPenguin
he fell back first.. if it was legs. maybe. he's going to be landing on hard uneven ground. The branch followed.
Varderal
Still survivable. Least I'd say it is.
TormentedPenguin
Dad fell out of a tree half that height.. broke his back.. anything is "Survivable" just the odds go down the higher up you are
DevilDisowned
13 deserves to be
Varderal
I'd agree if someone hadn't posted the news article. They had their kids in the car with them. Luckily they all survived.
LordScrublord
I would say should be dead, not deserves to be dead.
BreadyStinellis
Eh, kind of asking for it when you drive between barricades when you are fully aware a fucking train is coming.
LordScrublord
Oh yeah I'm not denying that they are stupid I just hope that they lived to learn from their mistakes.
LeSethX
It's also illegal here. And yet there is 1 particular crossing where police wait there cuz of how often cars are stopped on the tracks
TormentedPenguin
#13 be iffy on a passenger, but the driver will be fine.
JunkGrave
They're both 100% dead. Watch the gif until the end, the car gets crushed been the post and the train.
CaptainYesterday
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston
[deleted]
[deleted]
Varderal
H-How? Are they made of jelly?
TormentedPenguin
I know.. right.. I doubt it was a clean survival.. tons of broken shit.. so maybe they are made of jelly now./
axiomatik
https://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/03/train-hits-suv-attempting-to-cross-light-rail-tracks/
adriedupoldprune
#13 wasn't that bad. It speed was fairly low speed and it was a light rail passenger train. Car looked pretty intact.
ilovegramsalot
Until the train squished it against that huge pole.
CaptainYesterday
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston
ilovegramsalot
Daaaaammn! Hope they bought a lottery ticket :-)
TheBlueMuppet
Yeah, that jeep got extruded.
CaptainYesterday
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston
TheBlueMuppet
Thats like 5 miles from where i am right now. Its pretty typical, too. I probably heard about it, but it happens a lot because people cant
ContactFrunt
I bet that bull in 31 felt amazing after that. Direct hit
Antrazit
I think 13 might live. Cars are so well built and have airbags everywhere, he might just have a chance
ilovegramsalot
The car gets squished into a pole.
axiomatik
https://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/03/train-hits-suv-attempting-to-cross-light-rail-tracks/
ilovegramsalot
The force was strong with that one.
bab73
You mean a 1990's suv?
axiomatik
Nah. #13 is fine. Too low speed of a crash to do real damage. Car protected driver from their own stupidity.
BreadyStinellis
That's IF the train stopped right away, which is doubtful because that's not how breaks work.
Mxlespxles
Left hand drive. If he was in Europe, he'd be much worse off
Hyippy
Watch the end the car gets squished between the train and a post. He ded
TwoVhsCopiesOfGoodfellas
What? Most countries in Europe are left hand drive?
ElbowDeepInATshirt
No, just UK.
ElbowDeepInATshirt
*england... rest of europe has left hand drive too..
doesntmatter
Eh, what? UK and Ireland are the only two european countries with right hand drive.
WibidibdabdoOgiRlsaRealliBooboO
bab73
Well, the only Europeans who don't drive lhd are the ones in uk.
Tarelgeth
That's a commuter light-rail transit. Low mass, in-city speeds. He's fine.
JunkGrave
They definitely got crushed to death.
axiomatik
https://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/03/train-hits-suv-attempting-to-cross-light-rail-tracks/
JunkGrave
I'll be damned - how the hell can you survive being inside an SUV that's crushed to 2 feet wide?
axiomatik
It wasn’t crushed, it popped back in front of the train. SUV just temporarily snagged pole.
Varderal
Not just the impact. It got squished between the train and a pole too. They ded.
Varderal
Apparently there's a news story for it, they not ded. And there were fucking kids in the car. What the fuck?
SergeantSalsa
Did you watch it till the end? The car just disappears after being sandwhiched between the train and the post
Hyuoma
It looks like the car was pushed on to the track in front of the train. I don’t think a pole can contain enough force to sandwich the car.
Hyippy
Ya that car is now 2 feet wide
axiomatik
https://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/03/train-hits-suv-attempting-to-cross-light-rail-tracks/
axiomatik
https://www.autoblog.com/2014/04/03/train-hits-suv-attempting-to-cross-light-rail-tracks/
CaptainYesterday
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/video-suv-struck-by-metro-train-in-houston
Varderal
How, in the hell, dud they survive? And why weren't they charged with child endangerment!? THAT SHIT IS RETARDED.
CaptainYesterday
The train hitting it is a light rail. Its weight and speed are nothing compared with even an empty freight train.
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
#8 too? Hitting the concrete from that height...
saxophoneguy43
Is have to guess a couple of broken ribs and unconscious for a few hours
SultanSultana
Apparently got away with 2 broken ankles!
SpiralLover
Broken legs, probably
shuttlecockinakumquat
The sound on that landing is something I don't want to hear again. Definitely not dead, though.
HoneyBadgerDontGiveAShitAboutUpvotes
At least looked like he isn't walking anymore.
ProfAwesome1986
No he is fine, i actually seen that video, try to google it, cant remember but wasnt hard to find
WeaponizedJerk
He didn’t land on his face so I’m sure he’s alive. I can’t say for sure he can still walk.
somenerandom
That's a 2 storey fall. Fucking painful, most probably something in the legs broken, but not impossible to survive.
SpecialProjectY
You can jump off a footstool and snap a spine, even when landing on the feet. Just need to relax muscles and away you go...
Vercci
Sure the same way you can cut yourself with a butterknife if you're actually trying for it. It won't happen accidentally.
SpecialProjectY
Not if you're a Russian politician.
RandAIFlagg
It's incredibly easy to accidentally kill or cripple someone, and incredibly hard to intentionally do so
SpecialProjectY
Funny how nature do that.
CrazyOhs
Natural selection
tzap
..Is not how this works.
SlashSgt
Is exactly how this works
tzap
No, most of these people were not actually removed from the gene pool, plus stupid people breed faster anyway.
LucasTheArchaneer
Stupid people do something stupid. It kills them. Thus removing them from the gene pool
tzap
..And it's also assuming that those people literally died (or were rendered sterile) before passing their genes on.
tzap
This is assuming that the people who share those genetic traits are already breeding at an equal pace compared to those who do not share it.
tzap
However, studies have shown that IQ is negatively correlated with birth rates - that is, stupid people breed faster.