notJamesBondd
362179
10495
173
5 year old manipulates a group of adults into doing her bidding. AMAZING!
Jan 14, 2017 6:52 PM
notJamesBondd
362179
10495
173
Captainplanetmotherfucker
Oh...Yes, bitch.
Braytac
5 year old with homework.... The fuck is wrong with schools
lucidlilith
Is she up for adoption?
B99Reactions
Theres already a bunch of idiots taking credit for other peoples job, its not being smart
srslydude
I actually read this answer on Quora a couple weeks ago. Nice to see two of my interests colliding.
SomethingCleverAndFunnyThatHasentBeenTaken
DylanBeta
Honestly, take my +1 for using more of that scene than most in the gif
greenplant
Clever girl
Copperdragon
Clever girl indeed. :)
Mrdaihatsu
Isn't that what a Magazine Editor does?
FloppyBaconOfficial
Delegation done right.
RigorMortis76
Meanwhile, the other kids in the class actually learned to draw the shapes.
McCleery
Yea i tried something like that when i was 5, my dad found out and swiftly beat me with a pair of jumper cables.
FloppyBaconOfficial
Delegation done right.
ToadMax
A Modern Day Tom Sawyer... Win for her..
zaklurker
Anyone wanna play make a 5 gate sum and carry adder?
ACW13
Am I the only one who read the title in Muldoon's voice from Jurassic Park?
HypnagogicHallucinations
I'll take "things that never happened" for 800, Alex.
apercent
I have seen a lot of Bs stories on Quora but i could see this one happening.
Coyote8
Pretty sure the only thing in that category is your sex life
imshiva
TrilobiteSushi
What tipped you off, the fact that 5 year olds don't have homework, much less shape comprehension?
Vlaxxie
Heyy, that's Quora, ain't it?
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
Or if you're in software, StackExchange
CeelaChathArrna
It is indeed.
TheWorldArriving
My ex said that Quora is for people who don't understand how to use stack exchange.
Ralpheroo
You tell them to take that back
TheWorldArriving
Betcha I did. Quora loved me more.
youamlame
There's a reason they're an ex
apercent
I don't think I've ever seen a more upvoted answer on quora
hyperaddictiv
me too
MumblingSaint
Their algorithm has had a few tweaks and I see quite a few answers with these many upvotes
Yabishboi
I mean, Avatar was a pretty successful series. I
adty4
There are actually quite a few these days!
hyperaddictiv
me too
Tanurkle
That kid is going places... Probably college
VoidIncarnate
Plagiarism. Report her and get her suspended from academic publications for life.
Cowboysmurf7619018121
Plagiarism gotten from one source only... From multiple sources its research
VoidIncarnate
Citation required.
scottlw
THEY TOOK OUR JOBS
PoppinLochNessHopster
Gosh that seems a little harsh for a child so young, but fuck her.
ChameleonFacedGoon
are we not doing phrasing anymore?
PoppinLochNessHopster
@sarah @alan just got 100 point notification for this comment when it hit 110 points. Comments still double post after YEARS. hire bugfixers
phantomeye
wait don't fuck the child!
IBlowForALiving
What?! Sh she smelled 18.
TheRicktat0r
Officer she told me she was 18
TheOneWhoKnowsNothing
Can't argue with that logic, cuff me boys
CloudCider
What a roller coaster....
candysaur
As a kid, we had to get our parent's signature to sign off on us having done our homework. I forged my Mum's signature for weeks.
jenlovesmemes
I got caught doing that, I got grounded and had detention for a week.
azzabat
Or a politician!
MosEisleyPhotography
It's not about working hard. It's about working smart.
yourbassist
Obviously she's smarter than someone who says learnt.
mechanicalchaos
Ugh, so I'm not the only one that gets cheesed off by that word? I guess it's correct to say, but I've never heard it until lately.
thatisfantastic
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/usage/learnt-vs-learned
TheRealDurdan
American ignorance
Frakon
That kid is going to become a CEO
AspiringGoodMotherfucker
Can't argue with that. Just don't cross the line of manipulation
thecolonels
Yes, Brian, it seems our investment has come full....hmmmm...now what are those things called?
ArrowheadCosplay
Trapazoid. You're looking for trapazoid Barbra
drkepper
no a trapazoid is a quadrilateral with one pair of parallel lines you're thinking of circumference
ArrowheadCosplay
No a circumference is the perimeter of a circle, I think you mean Monty
PanicAtTheCostco
Or the next trump lol
StarkRG
Only thing is that Trump's not that smart...
PanicAtTheCostco
Touché
SandalsandSocks
I would work for her
nientedal
Delegating like a boss!
BumpusMcPhumpusAngeletes
Delegate!
NotTheSharpestSpoonInTheDrawer
*relegate
Sarahsmomhasgotitgoingon
What's that some kind of scandal?
kr18
What's that some kind of scandal?
CatPresident
No it's the entrance to the sandwich counter at a store.
ChrisPrattInhalingExcitedly
hehehe
kr18
What's that some kind of scandal?
itsapirateslifeforme
Don't forget 1 in 5 CEO's display psychopathic tendencies. But the good ones. Not the stabby stabby no remorse ones.
ZombeyHepburn
There are good psycho tendencies?? Explain please
itsapirateslifeforme
They tend to be very calm under pressure, charming and charismatic.
justsignedupforthishit
But not stabby stabby.
ICanHasJava
They have no problem being tough and keeping a clear head in tense situations.
notJamesBondd
cookies to anyone who got the reference in the title
MezcalMadness
also on Rick & Morty
BadWolfIdris
Cookies for you OP
notJamesBondd
thank you
metaspy
of course! Everyone has seen Big Trouble in Little China
DontYouMeanExtinct
I got it!
DARSKA
Hmm. Not sure I believe you.
TRexasaurusRex
My dogs name is TRex, my name is Ellie, my husbands name is Ian. Don't insult my intelligence.
thesobernihilist
Jurassic park? :D
Mackdi
Jurassic Park. Gotta try harder then that. Much harder.
goingoncegone
IRespondWithSpongebobGifsUsually
Porn???
DontYouMeanExtinct
I got it!
DARSKA
Are you sure?
CPTCASH
Road House!!!
mcstu0
Velociraptor scene in jurassic park
skschneier
I'm waiting for my cookies
unsaltedkrakers
Jurassic park
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
You owe cookies to about 60000 people and counting.
notJamesBondd
well technically only 60 people have upvoted this comment so I have to give them only or the 7000 people who upvoted the post
metaspy
of course! Everyone has seen Big Trouble in Little China
TheDudeSkywalker
I have a tattoo dedicated to the film on my leg
ModernCookie
Give us something harder next time! Also. Coooookies
OfficialRickSanchez
lolitsbee
My first thought when I saw the title. Only reason I clicked on the post lol!
RabjamX2
Lol I thought it was A reference to Doctor Who at first too
LaTransDragon
You are under arrest for not giving me a cookie.
DontYouMeanExtinct
I got it!
DARSKA
Alright, you've sold me
OfficialRickSanchez
That was fucking hilarious thank you
notJamesBondd
https://media.giphy.com/media/OF94XnjrJQN8Y/giphy.gif
notJamesBondd
cookies are ready come and get them https://media.giphy.com/media/7oasXWyB9VHb2/giphy.gif
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
Yes the teacher totally won't notice the different writing styles
IndyAndyJones
Maybe the homework assignment was to trick a bunch of adults
IndyAndyJones
Maybe the homework assignment was to trick a bunch of adults
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
Yeah? And maybe you don't touch yourself at night, but we all know the chances of that. You whore.
IndyAndyJones
Nice try but the jokes on you, I touch myself in the morning
MediumLarge
Its night somewhere in the world
IndyAndyJones
Those places don't count. Just here.
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
Bamoozled again..... you win this time...!!!
IndyAndyJones
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11119/111198831/4738105-0182887292-image.jpg
IndyAndyJones
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11119/111198831/4738105-0182887292-image.jpg
happyishturtle
Man I wish that worked with my homework. 'Okay everyone we are going to play a fun game called integration using u substitution!'
TheCowMove
U substitution gets easier, trust me. I'm taking Differential Equations next semester (Calc 4), I'm scared!
JohnLemon
Can we just all agree that calculus and other forms of higher level mathematics can - for all their coolness - fuck right off?
YoungSequoia
I'd play, and I'd kick ass. I u-sub the fuck out of integrals man.
jagerben47
I failed a test in calc 2 because I just skipped u sub and did the integration.
GoldberrySassdaughter
I will genuinely do your maths homework. For fun. I'm that boring
ostentatiouscashew
Dot. Incase I need you later. I'm through diff eq. But still engineering is hard yo.
Yakekoge
Lol fuuuck u sub
StraightToCatFolder
Probably wants to play for another ten minutes. I'll bite.
glacialbae
Or even better: integration by parts! http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/integration_by_parts.png
ZacMuerte
oh god... I remember back when that was the whole problem. And that was hard. Now that's the easy part for me ;~;
ZacMuerte
now my homework is more "this 4-dimensional shape casts a 3D shadow along this vector, integrate it over this other 3D shape"
ZacMuerte
I Have NO CLUE what real-world application this would have, but I can do it. And I still have at least another year of math to go.
ZacMuerte
all for that stupid "& engineering" on the end of my degree...
memepoop
I'll play that game with you! Chat me up fam.
hickorybakedbeans
Okay everyone, time to code a website!
TheCowMove
U substitution gets easier, trust me. I'm taking Differential Equations next semester (Calc 4), I'm scared!
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
DiffEq was my math wall. I eventually got through and even took PDE. PDE sucked, plain and simple.
NotMyCircusNotMyMonkeys
It's not that bad if you see which king of diffEq it is, you know which process to use to solve it.
jagerben47
If that's your 4th, what's your 3rd? We had diffeq after calc 2 at my school.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
Calc 3 is typically the calculus of three dimensions. Double and triple integration, Green's Theorem.
jagerben47
Oh i think we rolled that into our 4th calc: multivariate.
TheCowMove
Yeah what the other guy said is what we had.
PRoseLegend
Or my homework: Human Rights are not universal, but are a "Western Democratic" ideal. Discuss.
chuggachuggamotherfucker
One thing that really weirds me out is when I think that just as I passionately believe that human rights should be universal (1/2)
chuggachuggamotherfucker
There might be some arab dude somewhere on the east that passionately believes that too much freedom can be bad for a woman, for example
RandomThingiesHere
There are also women that think that
imnottryingtobesarcastic
"Nutritional values of exotic feeds for Beef & Dairy cattle".... that was a fun class
chooseday
The only rights you have are ones granted by those in power. The West is and has been in power for the last few centuries. Easy peasy!
Replacable
Witty mathemarical comment about residue theorem or lebesgue integration has been left as an exercise to the reader.
AugustinLouisCauchy
As a math major, I know you're the one that gets it
AugustinLouisCauchy
As a math major, I know you're the one that gets it
RandomThingiesHere
Lol I haven't used usub since I learned it but I'd take that over integration by parts any day
ZacMuerte
by parts actually isn't that bad. Sure, a U-sub is far easier, but by parts is pretty simple once you know the patterns to look for.
RandomThingiesHere
I never said it was hard, it's just annoying having to do it over and over again. Though honestly I don't think I could do it now
ZacMuerte
I think it's far more difficult when you have to derive the integral yourself, hope you did it right, and then figure out which tool to use.
gh954
Yeah, the integral of sec^3(x) is the only time I've ever liked by parts
happyishturtle
1/4-cos(x)^4. Hell yeah
Yakekoge
Honestly I'm just trash in calc, int by parts is my worst nightmare
NothingCleverToCallMyself
I prefer parts!!
RandomThingiesHere
Heathen
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
well i mean she was five..
happyishturtle
I'm saying I wish that would work for older ages too
AdmJota
Yeah, I don't think they're even doing polynomial derivatives yet then.
happyishturtle
I miss polynomial derivatives..
AdmJota
Do you want to take the derivative of 4*x^3 - 5*x^2 + 17 with respect to x, for old times' sake?
Constenz
Is that difficult?
eraser1
12x^2 - 10x
zombiebiologist
Hey, if you can usub an integral it's an easy integral. Now, integrals that can only be solved with Reimann sums can go fuck themselves.
aquamanofficial
Reimanns subs are the tits. Easy as fuck. Now, trapezoidal sums can go fuck themselves with a cactus
plusC
Just don't forget my username.
zombiebiologist
Wow, that's helpful! You're the real MVP.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
"boo hoo, calculus II is kicking my ass"
zombiebiologist
Perfect guess! It
zombiebiologist
's not really, but whatever, I thought it'd be funny.
[deleted]
[deleted]
happyishturtle
u substitution is made for more complicated integration. Maybe simple u substitution is easy but man that shit is hard
pookieeatworld
I understood some of those words...
zombiebiologist
Damn son if you haven't taken calc in high school or college I'm sorry for you. (Unless you don't need it. Lucky bastard.)
NineNineThree
Something about usersub, I think.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
You guys. Ever heard of Partial Differential Equations?
ridefutures
My man! Just finished up a class in PDEs and Fourier Analysis last semester
ridefutures
My man! Just finished up a class in PDEs and Fourier Analysis last semester
whatifnameisnotname
I'm starting diff e in 3 days, I'm really excited, then again I am very fun at parties
IHateBeing
Riemann sums? More like easy addition. But integrals that are literally impossible? Those are moderately challenging.
davecoulierssuperfullhousefanclub
And what about triple integration by parts followed by a trig sub?
chbarts
Bah. Just say "no closed-form solution", define a new function to be the answer, and call it a day.
MrRandom314159
Fourier transformations to approximate impossible functions are a bitch.
happyishturtle
"moderately challenging"
zombiebiologist
But usub is at least fast. The easy addition takes SO FUCKING LONG THO
Johnsexington
Is this what happens when math nerds get together? You all turn in to crocodile dundee?
LemmiwinksKingofGerbils
MyUsernameIsntAvailable
Essentially, yes. Like engineering students discussing homework.
lurker314
There are integrals that Riemann cannot handle -- that's why we have Lebesgue.
SuperiorPosterior
I uh... I can count money really quickly... It's part of the reason i want to work in retail... or as a casino dealer...
quatroquatroquatroquatro
Learning Lebesgue integration blew my mind.
lurker314
I was a riot for me. We did more topology in our analysis class for the first few weeks than we did in the topology class. :D
lurker314
But once you get your head around Borel measures, it's pretty clear that Riemann integration is hopelessly tied to "nice" partitions.
kelpo122
My Master's Math professor keeps telling us bout them while demostrating all the necessary theorems, next semester is going to be brutal
CrookedWookiee
Evaluating an integral by parts or with a u sub are child's play. The ones that require trig subs are where the difficulty lies.
PETTdavids
I've never been one to learn all of those by heart...
SoulHeart
But its mostly all the same
BeardsleyMcTurbanhead
Brilliant move but who the hell is the savage teacher giving 5 year olds homework?
Falador
So I'm the only one who graduated fairly recently and rarely had mandatory daily homework throughout my school career?
Cheomesh
I had homework when I was in kindergarten - phonetics and whatnot.
OfficialJoeBiden
As someone who had to count backwards from 100 when I was five, it sucks. Especially when you're drunk and still learning.
revcleo
When I was 5 I think we were having to memorise times tables as homework? I know there was reading homework. (1995)
panananda
My three year old was given homework. I laughed and we didn't do it. Fuck that
IllegalDuckling
Right? No one "in touch" gives out homework anymore.
lacole725
All of America
CeelaChathArrna
I had almost no homework until middle school. Now my 10 year old has between 1-2 hours a night M-Th. Absolutely Ridiculous
TimTheEnchanter01
1990, can't remember that long ago.... homework maybe?
NeneJPhilly
That's what I'm saying. I don't think I had any. I can't remember. I can't remember yesterday so there's that.
rattlesnail
My k4 student has homework
ProjectKurtz
I had homework in kindergarden but even then I had 0 tolerance for that bullshit so I did it all in-class. Fuck teachers.
Cking417
Asking the real questions. What the fuck. That's barely/if even kindergarten. The fuck is wrong with the world. How about manners first?!
jmeyers1983
It was to draw shapes, not dissect the use of stream of consciousness in Joyce's "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man."
chbarts
Hey, five-year-olds are all about stream-of-consciousness narrative. She'd rule at that.
anthonyqld
I had homework in kindergarten back in 1984
GunstarHero
I remember doing simple math and practicing writing letters in kindergarten. It never was more than 20-30 minutes. Life was good
MrsZbornak
my daughter is in 1st grade now but she always had homework even in kindergarten. except friday nights
TheLetterKay
I had homework everyday in kindergarten. 1997. My daughter is 6 and had homework every day. Flash cards. Reading. Writing etc.
GreatTeacherMichael
Worked in a kindergarten 4 years ago. We gave 10 minutes each night. It's more to teach them responsibility than content.
Luvvie
My kid has a shit ton of homework as a kindergartener.
riggamorris
haha how long have you not been in contact with school?
rhilterbrant
My kindergarteners homework consists of reading every day for 15 minutes.
Makimakithefirst
Hmm I believe I first got my homework when I was 7 at the earliest 6
CMFMTNPPL
School and I had a falling out after graduation, it was a mess lots of tears and throwing hats,
HollyRex
My student teaching site (2015-2016) doesn't allow homework (beyond X number of minutes reading).
Kohjen
he's got to stay away, he doesn't have a choice
GiddyKipper
GiddyKipper
Buckbeak1486
Right? I had homework in Kindergarten in '95.
SteevyT
I didn't.
BenSnow97
Like flying around students or freeing Sirius Black?
TheSecondRunnerUp
I work in a pre-k program and the kids have homework every day, including weekends and vacation. They're 4.
loolapaloola
Just wtf
HugeAckbar
My 5-year old's homework every day: some reading, and some very very basic math
slagath0r
I think that's a bit extreme
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
That's a little fucked up tbh
CometLaHal
what??? for pre-k thats fucked up. how long does it normally take? guessing =< 15 minutes ?
TheSecondRunnerUp
Probably about that. For a lot of them probably only 10.
zeusdemigod131
Serious question here, how can there even be that much homework for a 4 year old?
TheSecondRunnerUp
They get some sort of worksheet every day. At the beginning of the year it's a lot of coloring, but now it's more letter and number writing>
TheSecondRunnerUp
Practice. They also do a lot of matching (capital to lowercase, objects to number) homeworks.
notwastingtimeiswear
Is this in an underprivileged community? Head Start? This goes directly contrary to child development. How do they justify this?
TheSecondRunnerUp
Very underprivileged. My school is 97% English learners, poor immigrant community.
notwastingtimeiswear
That explains it. Children of immigrants have to work so hard for equal footing in the classroom, they need every hand up they can get.
TheSecondRunnerUp
I will add that the district did not want this kind of program. This is a school-level decision.
notwastingtimeiswear
At this early age, with parents who (probably) work their asses off, how many complete assignments consistently?
TheSecondRunnerUp
Pretty much all of them actually. Whether they're done to the best of the child's ability is another story. Most parents don't correct them.
luxemonster
We had homework in kindergarten (2004) but I'm pretty sure it's fairly recent.
[deleted]
[deleted]
luxemonster
I'm 18, and just realized it was 2003.
Cheomesh
I was in high school in 2004 :|
Itchy73
Did you ask your parents if you're allowed on imgur?
luxemonster
Snitches get stitches.
Itchy73
Just curious :D
z3lfmoord
How old are you!?
Wombatish
Depending on birthday and ages in kind (some states do 2 yrs), 16-18
z3lfmoord
So he really did have to ask permission to join Imgur.
Wombatish
Nah, only been a member for a year and a half, and imgur is 13+ like most non-paying websites.
HighPriestOfCera
So you're 12? wtfffffffffffffff
Wombatish
Yes, 0 years old in kindegarten.
HighPriestOfCera
OH! I took that as born in 2004! My bad lmao
flikrdoodles
I think he means kindergarten was in 2004 for him. So, 16-17?
HighPriestOfCera
Yeah the other comments confused me and I re-read the original comment and realized I'm dumb lol.
twitchlove
Thanks for making me feel old - I was in college in 2004.
Leah24
Me too. Holy crap
papituamor
Samesies...graduated '05
Pixi3Dust
Same here.
Wombatish
I saw a class of 2018 letterman jacket from my HS the other day. I was '07 and that made me feel young AF at the time.
Wombatish
Being class of '07 that is. Not the letterman jacket c:
Cheomesh
I was in high school.
luxemonster
You're not old, I'm just a fetus.
twitchlove
I still think of myself as 23, so your post was a little reminder that the math no longer works out.
Wombatish
Not even, and that's the really freaky deaky part :p
FistfulOfAssholes
Bless you.
thisisagreatusernamedontworryitswonderful
Bless your username