TheCrimsonFukr
201004
14828
1015
All credit goes to the guys over at 5Bravo
nvrCryWolf13
mothers of America, constantly trying to "better" the military, only ends up with fucking shit up and ruining our forces
EdgeGod
It's really unbelievable. I don't think I've ever met somebody as fucking dense as this.
DrStrangeBlub
Leans head in from the side "Whatcha doin?" Lmao, God I'm still laughing and it's been ten minutes.
Fplo
This conversation never happeneda z A Z 0 : - - A Z a z �
TangledDuctTape
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/283/235/7e3.jpg
KacerRex
That was gucking awesome.
YoureTheBIGmarriageExpertOhIMsorryiForgotYourWifeIsDead
I'm so fucking angry at myself for reading all of this that I may join her fake son in suicide. Seriously, fuck this stupid post.
Peluchito
something something alex, 300$, did not happen
TalfMorton
REPOST
ForlornFennec
But with more of the story since last time it showed up here. Always nice to have an update-recap.
HeavyContrast
Cluster B personality disorder
darkdarling23
I can confirm. There are people like this. My own mother sounds exactly like this. Kinda scary. Yup.
Ingenieur88
Got boring
IRateBoobPics
Tl;dr
YoureTheBIGmarriageExpertOhIMsorryiForgotYourWifeIsDead
I'm jealous of you
noobwarlock
The order is all fucked... Try again.
TheCrimsonFukr
Working on it.
Flollop
gucked*
PowderHound52
I keep seeing this and it seems so fake.
SleeperSix
IT's funny, it just seems...scripted. There's enough exposition to fill you in on details you didn't need to make me think it's fake.
WeylinFulthorp
It's real from a military website. They trolled her hard.
commandobrando
No.
Stev757
/r/raisedbynarcissists
iamthespicyweiner
Graduating top of your class at basic, is comparable to being top of your class at preschool. Source? I am a Army veteran. Fuck this bitch.
iamthespicyweiner
And I be damned if some new soldier deserves a combat patch, because they feel left out. When we got a new soldier added to our platoon
iamthespicyweiner
He didn't have a unit patch. I took my combat patch off (same patch, 4ID) and gave it to him to wear. That's how it should be.
thegreatmrbiscuits
This kept going? Holy shit.
Demitger
This was fake. Funny but still fake.
Demitger
5b creates viral content. Even states that on their web page. Their stuff is hilarious yes. But shouldn't be taken seriously.
Kendo2710
Proof?
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
I'm with Kendo on this one. Proof please!
wegonfight
Well played Bravo team. Well. Fucking. Played.
CoughedupFurball
I can't believe she kept coming back.
jazzmizz
gucking*
CoyoteTraveller
This didn't happen any more this time than it did the last time it was posted
TheCrimsonFukr
The Big Lebowski didn't happen either, but it was still funny as hell.
DiirtMcGiirt
But this more cringeworthy D:
CoyoteTraveller
You win this round, logic
johnxbear
Wow. Somebody wasted so much time writing this fake conversation.
YoureTheBIGmarriageExpertOhIMsorryiForgotYourWifeIsDead
Thank youS
Braethias
And here we all are on a time wasting website. Seems kind of hypocritical, no?
YoureTheBIGmarriageExpertOhIMsorryiForgotYourWifeIsDead
And even delicately misspelling words here and making grammatical mistakes there... Unfuckingreal...
nesste
Unguckingreal*
CrazyCatLad
ungucking CORAL!
srslydude
It's actually on the 5Bravo site as if it actually happened, so it seems real.
DiirtMcGiirt
?? Why would that verify authenticity?
srslydude
Because a well'known military unit probably wouldn't post something like this if it didn't happen? I dunno, I'm a bit naive.
ShrubNinja
Apparently it's real. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=566102866892747&substory_index=0&id=426008690902166
DiirtMcGiirt
I don't understand why it being on Facebook makes it legit?
ShrubNinja
It's the closest thing to proof? Honestly, I don't care if it's real. I've seen stuff like this actually happen, so it's funny.
Immortals4Centuries
There is no way she's THAT stupid, is there? I mean, my ex mother in law caused shit for my ex-husband when he was a marine, but she wasn't
AngelOMorte
Never doubt the depth of crazy for you will always regret it.
DoYouLikePinaColada
Real or not - fun read
Immortals4Centuries
quite this stupid. Close, but not quite.
IglooGiggles
I had an ex bf that was bipolar and this is what it felt like to argue with him... Which was daily...
anirri
think about all those "hold my beer and watch this moments" we have people dumb enough to stick their hand in a blender so yea its possible.
YoureTheBIGmarriageExpertOhIMsorryiForgotYourWifeIsDead
This shit can't be real by a long shot
Texaggie2012
Oh but it is, see it happen all the time.
MediumPlatypi
I fully believe that things similar to this happen, but I also fully believe that this particular conversation is fake. It goes too far.
Texaggie2012
But you'd be surprised at how some Army moms can be..just saying
Fuzzykitten777
I freaking love this. I always read the veterans parts as Deadpool. I dunno why, it just happens.
Twiz129
Nono do would have more memes
mrallen
God damn it, So did I. lol
Karateboy21
same omg.
JezebelLeigh
Me too! XD
javer80
It fits pretty well, he's a funny dude. The part about "torturing animals" had me rolling.
TheVoidListens
I love you for saying that
Fuzzykitten777
And I love you, random citizen!
Fuzzykitten777
Guys, y'all raised my Notoriety level to "liked" *sniffs* thanks guys, you're the best...
theactualdeadpool
Someone said my name?
TristanMcTristFace
Oh my gahd. I heard that voice in my head too while reading this but I couldn't figure out who it was
abcismasta
Well he was a veteran
Blyzk
He was taveling to exotic places, Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, meeting new and exciting people...
Blyzk
*traveling
NimajnebNessler
And killing them, yeah I've seen your instagram
RayGiIIette
Don't forget having Tuna Casserole and the wonderful TGI Fridays.
VonSnootingham
As these go on, they seem less and less real.
screenaholic
Yeah, I got seriously skeptical starting at the pizza party.
Vollidiot
During boot camp one of the guys turned 18. His mother called our first sgt and asked if he could have the day off. That was fun
thelonelymathematician
I know a mom like this. Sadly, they exist
Hahandfuckyou
The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible. -Twain. You can't underestimate stupidity!
Jusmar
My mother is like this, I didn't talk to her in 18 hours after telling her I lost my wallet in my dorm SHE SENT THE COPS TO MY ROOM.
neonfraction
Holy shit. My condolences.
SuwinTzi
I didn't call my mother for two weeks, had a stern talking to by my CoC about it, cause she called the ombudsman.
maythedoctorbewithyou
If you've ever been in the military you'd know there are mothers who are exactly like this, if not worse. 1/?
apwillenme
Maybe there are mothers like this, that doesn't make this particular conversation a work of absolute fiction.
maythedoctorbewithyou
While I was going thru Marine Corps Boot camp one kid wrote his mother about how afraid he was of doing one of the obstacle courses 2/?
maythedoctorbewithyou
She ended up freaking out because he made it sound like this extremely dangerous thing and called her senator. 3/?
maythedoctorbewithyou
Because of that overreaction that specific o-course was shutdown for about 3 days simply because one kid was afraid of doing it 4/4
Vesane
What's a pizza party? Push-ups?
graou13
More like cleaning the court during a sandstorm.
ButterfingersCantPlayMiniTapDance
Is the pizza a metaphor for puking?
pizzaparty
I like push pops.
recursivealgorithm
Anything in the military with the word "party" in it is definitely not a good thing
SuckAnElf
What are you talking about GI parties are the best!
Boopdog
I asked a military friend and he said it just was a general phrase meaning "absolutely not a pizza party."
Freelancer10
Almost every fun-oriented activity in the military is the furthest from what the activity is.
pizzaparty
But.. :(
Boopdog
*slow clap*
Vesane
Yeah, everyone's answers seem to be exceptionally vague. I guess it's enough to know that it's a thing, probably physical, and unpleasant
KlutzyZ
very unpleasant, it is a few hour long p90x type workout that leaves you beyond the far reaches of destroyed
Texaggie2012
You're in the ballpark. Think more...a lot more. And not fun.
Vesane
So... what... exercise drills?
Texaggie2012
Yeah.. a lot. He's gonna reeaallly enjoy life for the next few hours.
WhyShouldILoveYou
I still think its retarded they punish him for shit his mother does.
StubbornViking
They always find something to punish them for. It's just a good excuse. They'd be doing the extra PT anyways.
KlutzyZ
he should be an adult and stand up to her, so yeah it is a little bit his fault
Texaggie2012
Eh not the kind of punishment you think. Just some extra PT. It's good for him, builds character ha
IVILegionIVI
Eh, if they didn't do it for this, they'd find another excuse. It's literally their job.