McCodeMaxe
105685
2197
40
Mar 17, 2020 12:03 PM
McCodeMaxe
105685
2197
40
CygloPargen
10% dumbing it down for the client, 20% dumbing it down further for the client, 70% drawing it out in crayon for the client.
byohzzrd
stumeister
90% figuring out cool variable names.
IknowalittleIcanguesstherest
And this explains why so much of today's software is pure shit.
Lowestscoreever
I don't know why gov/media is trying to push people into coding and tech. These fields are not for everyone.
goboltz
You forgot "Git Gud Hub" too !
archmax
I don't see planning or flow charting -- might have changed the subsequent task requirements
IknowalittleIcanguesstherest
Nobody does that anymore. There was a time when flowcharting was a class I taught at Tech School. I even wrote a book, but it was too late.
ForTheEyesOfStrongling
When you work remotely, you gain that 9% productivity
vanelanjenkins
90% trying stackoverflow solutions*
copingcabana
The language used most in programming is profanity.
UKallikat
Especially when you miss ONE punctuation once... and the whole thing ends up in the error report.
thepromisedLAN
Shh the semicolon will hear you
SolHSA
And people find it odd when I say you should optimize for readability first. You're reading your code more than writing it.
ThatKindaThief
10% pain, 20% pain, 15% concentrated power of pain, 5% pain, 50% pain, and a 100% reason to remember the pain
FallingStar7669
2% butterscotch ripple
iamlegendinjapan
That's a 105%
thepromisedLAN
Some of us use herbs
azazyel
I think there should be a % of telling the Test that it's a feature not a bug
RenaissanceFaireMan
That's part of QA's job.
n0n53n53
works as designed
tzap
Once you've been a professional for several years, it's gonna be like, 80% client communication and expectation management.
ItsMyFirstDayAtThePank
You forgot meetings.
dashers
80% talking about when it will be done, 20% doing it.
ruferto
part of why i loved being a freelancer was i was able to summarize the meetings in 6 sentences once i got bored of being there
tdammers
The 80/20 rule: any programming task takes at least 80 hours and introduces 20 bugs.
KalciBone
and 100% 'angry rubber duck throwing/ talking to rubber duck about issues.'
ScoundrelPDX
And that's just the coding part, which is probably only 25% of your actual job.
thepromisedLAN
Lol the paeudocode
thepromisedLAN
Pseudocode *
CygloPargen
10% dumbing it down for the client, 20% dumbing it down further for the client, 70% drawing it out in crayon for the client.
muussis
60% trying to understand what the client actually wants
futureman3000
"It's working exactly how you outlined in the requirements document." "Well... I hate it."
ItsMyFirstDayAtThePank
The client is visual. Give them what they think they want so they can immediately reject it and tell you want they really want.
thepromisedLAN
Hit em with the ole razzle dazzle
FallingStar7669
23% of which is wondering if the client knows what they actually want
tiderfish
Don’t forget talking it over with your rubber ducky
Magus25
I was about to say don't forget the duck conferences.
blackhalo
The number of solutions I come up while taking a shower, makes them billable.
Aeav8r
Is saying "fuck this I'll start over!" Included in the 1%?
whatsisname
No, because 99.9% of the time that's a bad idea.
Xallyex
You missed the added 50% for client changes
duckky007
AGILE
IGIveUpIfThisUsernameDoesntWork
I have to blaze to code so that needs to be put in
mardukkur
When I was working in the field this was 100% me. Gotta change your head.
IGIveUpIfThisUsernameDoesntWork
Definitely get in the zone
thepromisedLAN
Autozone
QuincyJazz
But can programmers do it all from scratch of they had to?
ItsMyFirstDayAtThePank
It'll take some time but sure.
Grambot
As long as they don't take away my IntelliSense I think I could stumble through.
rex314
Depends on the programmer.
tdammers
"From scratch" as in making an apple pie by first creating a universe? No.
mardukkur
It's so much work to write code without a good IDE that it really wouldn't be practical to build most projects. OBJECT DOT.... uhhh... fuck.
dashers
Many have to. StackOverflow and the like only really cover common theory and beginner stuff.
TheInternetShouldHaveAClosingTimeSoICouldSleep
It is also a good source for debugging those really weird errors
rex314
If you can find an existing instance of the error on SO, it can't be *that* weird of an error...
Copperbrat
Well, I live with a programmer and you left out the 6% part where they corner you in the kitchen to talk about 1/
Copperbrat
integer constraints and variables and so forth for hours - when you have no idea what any of it means. I just blink and sip coffee. 2/2
duckky007
Signed or unsigned tho?
TheDayTheBrainStoodStill
For real tho: buy them a desk plushie. They just need to say the stuff out loud to someone to work through it, you don't need to be there.
Copperbrat
Awesome idea.
thepromisedLAN
Are we all the same person?
thepromisedLAN
You forgot the part where it finally works and then you nut
GabuEx
Unless it works first try, then you're in for an even longer debugging session trying to figure out why it didn't build/deploy.
Safebox36
I'm allowed to do that in the office any more
Araknifobia
Your still allowed to do that? After that last time?
ThorinNL
prematurely, because they changed the specs without telling you.
HamishHamilton0
This!
thepromisedLAN
And it actually meets zero of the end user needs lol
TacoBellBody
it is sort of like if dark souls was a job
TheGreatFoxarelli
100% this
ArmorOnAArmadillo
It works, and then the next day it doesn’t work, but you haven’t changed anything.
TackerTacker
You forgot the part where it works first try and now you fear for your life
ThorinNL
That's a good one.
InfinityDragon
That implies it functions the way you originally intended as opposed to performing the function in an acceptable yet transitive way.
zeethenomad
I'm having that problem today. I cant get an ability to work right, but it does something... close to what I wanted. Do i just roll with it?
InfinityDragon
The struggle is real.
Donvah
Still nut
sassysissy
10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and a 100% reason to remember the name
herrcane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjR7JZbdONs
CptRobotNinja
Fort Minor
sassysissy
yup
NinjablazerZero
Mike Shinoda
Fartmuffins
*15% concentrated Adderall pill.
thepromisedLAN
Or microdosing lol
noctynight
Fuck been sitting here for the past half hour, what the hell's wrong with this- oh I misspelled the name by one character.
thepromisedLAN
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MISSING SEMICOLON!!
djjmfl350
What ever happened to Fort Minor?
HowComeDespiteTheFact
Yes
RandomGuy12345678910
I think Mike Shinoda went solo instead of writing another Fort Minor album. He's got plenty of Linkin Park money to do whatever he wants.
sassysissy
jep, that's about right. they, or he, released the song "Welcome" some time ago and something's in the works but thats it
OrkieBleu
Made enough money to stop working.
ImmediateTable
got older, stopped being a Minor and just "Fort" didn't really have the same ring to it. Looking forward to "Fort Senior" though
JackSkellington59
I thought he went into the army and became fort Major
CrazyFinnishGuy
You forgot 0% documentation.
WorksOnMyMachine
"who the hell wrote this?!" *Checks last commit* "oh, it was me."
q6j6p
NOPEtimusPrime
thepromisedLAN
Stolen
fregeek
And 0.5% of unit tests. You basically create the class and leave it empty for eternity.
ejether
0% testing 0% docs
comehomefransbrauder
Also, 100% - saying, yep that should work and screaming, fucking hell why tf isnt it working aaarrrggghhhh!
photog
That take just as long as coding. No one wants to never get anything having to describe why it works the way it does. We don't know anyway.
RadishIsAMeat
I love comments from developers no longer at the company that say stuff like "//this should be written better or //TODO: fix this"
B44a
The trick is everybody does.
DroppedLens
bUt iS sElF-dOcUmEnTiNg!!!
mardukkur
Compared to olden day programming languages it sure is.
DroppedLens
Hey! FORTRAN 77 doesn’t need documents. If I had to figure it out, so should the next person! It’s called “code” for a reason! Hahaha
Arindy
Today at work a colleague said in response to one of my TestClasses: "That looks like dokumentation!" Well duh. Tests tell u how code works!
Braffybeast
Oh the irony
blackhalo
Some day some jack-ass will be looking at that code asking "what idiot wrote this." 90% of the time, both the jack-ass and idiot is you.
thepromisedLAN
It's always me
doireallyneedausernameffs
That was implied.
hwatL4bloopy
// I leave so many notes but documentation is hard
in70x
Damn man that hit me harder than corona...
prophet002
lol
UmHowAboutAnonymous
No they didn't
ArtSmarse
Documentation is like sex. Even if it's bad, it's still better than nothing.
TA2019
Girls that get blueballs from guys that keep cumming in 3 pumps disagree.
ArtSmarse
Does this affect the female perspective on code documentation? Do women prefer documentation with 20 minutes worth of introductory remarks?
ciaran13
Documentation: lol you won't forget what this shit does
thepromisedLAN
Choked on lunch
luckilybadger
That's why you hire technical writers
iamamentat
Yeah, guess who gets cut first in budget discussions? These guys and testers.
erbiumyttriumytterbium
THANK YOU! But we're best used for writing external docs. Internal docs and comments help your colleagues and successors.
luckilybadger
I'm a technical writer, and I document engineering processes ? I love it.
erbiumyttriumytterbium
I've come lots of intensity documentation. My comment is for engineers: tech writers aren't a substitute for code comments.
IamNotAshamed
Well written code doesn't need documentation
in70x
Yeaaaa... except nope..
ArtSmarse
You've never written real code then.
IamNotAshamed
I did and worked in a company that had almost no documentation. But thats with a modern language and "self documenting" coding guidelines.
BobFictional
Badly written code doesn’t either, now deliberately cryptic code on the other hand...
MrFlibbleIsVeryCross
Think the Stack Overflow numbers need to be pumped up there bucko
ArtSmarse
Ugh. I wish Google had a permanent "ignore Stack Overflow" option. That site is a waste of time, space, bandwidth and entropy.
PenneIsTheWorstPasta
Don't get your hate for Stack Overflow, but you could always temporarily ignore it with "-stackoverflow.com" or the other variants also
ArtSmarse
I know. It's just tedious. Don't get me wrong, I use Stack Overflow to find the right piece of fscking CSS when I need to. It's useless 1/
ArtSmarse
for high end C++ coding though. Absolutely and completely useless. 2/2
mitharas
Debugging and googling are SO as well...
kaitco1984
Was about to say the same thing! A good chunk of the extra Googling time is when you can’t copy something decent from stack overflow
jdasler
AdmJota
I've been hearing that a lot on here. I'm starting to think "how much you and paste from SO" might be a good metric for how much your 1/2
AdmJota
*cut and paste
AdmJota
colleagues will hate your code. 2/2
ArtSmarse
Amen.