AndNowTheWeather
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His bio just listed facts about his dog. Consider me intrigued
dagggg
More
eanfledtheelf
There are guys named Jaxson who are old enough to have sex?
DoctorWhoots420
Trolling at its finest
Louisckismyspiritanimal
Fuck dude after seeing those humpback and vegetable lines I've realized my tinder game needs work
Drice
Shower thought: Pickup lines are just shitty puns where instead of not laughing, you don't sleep with them.
Tunzaphun
All your openings have been filled? What about the back of the knee??
Yeterel
Going to use the CUTE-cumber comeback at some point
pie177
Probably should give those guys a glass of water, cause they are thirsty as fuck.
whitechocolatethunda
I mean... It's tinder. It's not like they tried to get laid at mass or something.
bgod
Oh my gosh! 2% battery life?! What are you doing with your life?!
CirclejerqueDuSoleil
I'm surprised it even got to 2% instead of going down to 11% and suddenly dying for no damn reason
puupyfacetomatonose
Making all manner of fake tinder convos.
GwyeneveretheRed
Living life dangerously.
thk5013
You seem like fun.
whydidievendothis
Married so I never had to use Tinder, but guys these days seem like they are awful at talking to women.
mehmehgerd
A CUTEcumber ... and a huge burden on your friends and family xD crying hahaha
bosstonez
CLAWED MY WAY UP FROM HELL. +1
AkevoTheBard
I cackled at the draw four.
adambadun
Charge your phone you brute!
makelikeatreeandleave
The cute-cumber one had me in tears!! Haha!!
DJNatsak
I like to tinder while drunk. Makes me less lonely
OneDayIWillBeBeatToDeathOverAPunButTodayIsKnotThatDay
It was all good and fun until she dissed Linda. Linda is a national treasure and our best chance at stopping the Daeshbags.
AndNowTheWeather
#lindapendence
aaront50
Haha its funny cause it almost looks like in-da-pendence but it's really Linda.. ah too good...yeah, I need a life.
50shadesofbiden
This is awesome.
fullofwastedpotential
Girls with a sense of humor are the best
Pixlization
I guess these sick rejections means you're still single?
Pixlization
This is so us, me making a grammatical error in my comment and you sitting there being all badass.
FenyxKnight
Reference game is hot
ienjoymoonlight
FINEAPPLE
DrDoomMD
The amount of guys trying to backseat hit on OP in the comments is embarrassing.
[deleted]
[deleted]
coolestkat999
Thanks Hitler.
foxfire1112
it's the definition of cringe
deadandbloated
Here's mine: http://m.imgur.com/VF9x7OY
DrDoobie
How the fuck did that work
deadandbloated
It worked deliciously
SuckAnElf
Pretty sure she's a bot
AntiquesDragon
It is. Tinder is 90% bots. One of the many reasons I quit using it. Reporting every bot you run into is tiring when it's every other match.
TheyCallMeTheDoc
You know... I've contemplated getting on tinder ... But I'm just to fuckin lazy to talk to people.
Grubenwolf
You're probably better off without it. Biggest waste of my time ever. Bots, scammers, and empty conversations.
TheyCallMeTheDoc
For the best... Specially in this area... To many gold diggin women. It's worse now that I'm not just in the Army but also a M.D.
mordrul
Yeah... nothing about Tinder strikes me as a good idea.
silentbob625
It's great if you love the current hook-up culture. Not so great if you're bad with people.
sueca
Currently seeing someone from Tinder. He stood out instantly, 500 matches & I've never had a conversation like that with anyone else before
DeckhandAdmiral
Met my gf of two years off tinder...
lmOIdGREEGG
it's useful for rebounds and for getting various STI's
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
Not if one protects themself, silly goose
lmOIdGREEGG
I don't do either of those things! my personality is my protextion!
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
i was just saying, just because someone uses tinder and sleeps around, doesn't mean they're going to get an STI
lmOIdGREEGG
I wasn't passing a judgement, more power to people who do! I was making a joke
catsandcheetos
I met my bf on tinder. Had to wade through a lot of shit to find each other though.
BENDER01011111
You threw up on your dog? How did this happen?
doubledan
i did this drunk one night.. just came out and the dog happened to be there. the next morning was fun.
JapaneseStudentTadashii
You must assert dominance
franksfiles
Finally, someone asking the important questions!
AzaellexTytalus
Ipecac.
PotatoIsland
My friend had a party, one guy got to drunk and puked all over her dog. She made him stay and clean it.
IllNeverLetGoJackIllNeverLetGoEwADeadBody
Once I took my dog for a walk. The way the ground moved past him tripped me out for a minute and I puked on him. He ate it.
Barkinsons
This actually happened to me on a very drunk walk because my dog was feasting on my puke while I had to puke again, this time over the dog
mormacil
See this is importent knowledge.
SubzeroAK
Mid blowjob of course.
Rainbowfight
She was blowing her dog?
f0rgt10
I am also curious for details on this. Mainly if it was a hold your dog down or just wasted off your ass scenario
WoahShocksMyBrain
I was hungover once and accidentally puked up rice and avocado all over my cocker spaniel. Shit happens.
ninmonkey
"I'm taking your keys" -- dog. "No, I'm cool bro, " --drunk human
f0rgt10
A likely scenario
ScrumdiddlyumptiousBar
My friends mom did this when she had the flu. She was bending over to put the dogs leash on and the movement caused her to vomit on the dog.
WoahShocksMyBrain
I puked rice and avocado all over my cocker spaniel once hungover.
ninmonkey
Dog doesn't care, he thinks it's an early lunch.
redsmerf
I don't think Michael understands the meaning "pure breed" and "mutt".
TheMagicalBun
I thought he meant that the parents were purebreed, so the pup was a purebreed mut?
bananerbread
There are 3 different dog types tho
MrGrayandPink
what is the 3rd one?
bananerbread
German Shepard, boxer, and coon hound.
MrGrayandPink
oh right you were talking about the post I thought you were referring to dogs in general, mutt, purebreed, "3rd one"
MrGrayandPink
is it cat?
behrditz
no, thats just a really really annoying "joke" that some mutt owners LOVE saying. They are usually anti-purebreed.
Generalno1
I think he was joking.
JhericFury
Yeah, i assumed he was saying pure-breed mutt as in 100% mixed.
TylerLinton
Wtf is a joke
KellyanneAlternativeFacts
I believe it's pronounced "yoke"
RMDK22
I think it's a company
KellyanneAlternativeFacts
I believe it's pronounced "yoke"
MrGrayandPink
might be a soft J, so that's why I can't come to the pancake breakfast
MicroBubbles
depending on where your from, some people are ingnorant to the definition of mutt, i was always told mutt meant a dog that didnt have papers
MicroBubbles
i was told this by a professional dog trainer so i had no need to think otherwise
Muttons1337
I'm glad you're thinking now
MicroBubbles
i was five meany
Muttons1337
No no, I genuinely am glad you are thinking now.
AndNowTheWeather
probably should have titled this "I'm a dick on Tinder"
Chasebrutal
Btw, great name.
sukarukiddo
I never get this lucky on Tinder, I only get matched with bots on it :(
fangwulf
If Alex didn't ask you out immediately for that zinger I don't know what's wrong with him.
jongr
yep.
TheImgurServer
Better than being a Richard
bendeem
but if we matched, would you be a dick to me?
thatclimbingguy
Your tinder interactions have just become my favourite thing.
cgimw
I'd swipe right. It would be worth getting trolled.
vehagn
I kinda want to see your profile for added context
yolobrolo
Niiiiiiiice
LorTheMighty
Any of these lines would have worked on me.
cuzitsthere
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cuz I've got an erection.
Boooooooooognish
A formidable opponent. I like this.
TheRealMota
This..This...THISSS!
lifelessman
I think many of these are reasonably justified, and hilarious
Kopar
"I am a Richard on Tinder"
Eddwyn
"I'm a dick." FTFY
redloki55
great way to make bank fake internet points by having a popular comment on your popular post! haha!
Drice
Tinder is actually a game in the app store so they can't complain when they get fucking played ayy m8
WouldYouLikeSomeBaileysImOldGregg
How many of these people have responded with angry retorts?
UsernameNotVerifiedForAccuracy
Are you my friend Kathy? Because these sound like Kathy.
imallergictocatsbutaddictedtoimgur
No, you're hilarious. Please post more!!
RastaPal
yeah
nogoat23
Your battery life adventure was a wild ride!
frolog
and now the weather
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
why do you go on tinder just to fuck with people? isnt that hella unethical?
parishe13
But are you a dick on imgur? Or a fineapple?
Toofluffles
Cool! Lizards can use Tinder now?!
Caritien
I wish people would even talk to me on Tinder... Of even like me. Thanks for the enjoyment though :)
derpferguson
hey, it comes with the territory
freegummybears
I wish I could be as quick witted as you
armeggedonCounselor
Well, hell, you seem awesome to me. A little bit of sarcasm goes a long way. In bed.
CatBlaster5000
Actively mind banging OP.
iPretend
As someone who is also a dick on tinder, it's only when I run into girls like you that I start paying attention.
blamb
It's December now, do you have any openings to fill?
[deleted]
[deleted]
czechoslovakia
Share the updates, thanks!
GoWithTheFro
))><((
Lorithias
Not really you seems really fun :)
WhatYouMeanItAintReal
If I matched with you on tinder our combined dick powers would imploded into some dick supernova.
dasmause
More like "everyone but me is a dick on tinder", cause damn, some of these people have like no self awareness
probablyshouldbedoingwork
"I think it's a company" - I properly lol'd
YOUPROBABLYSAWTHISNAMEINTHECOMMENTSANDLOOKEDBECUASEITSALLCAPS
I don't get this, is there a hidden meaning where this is not just an obvious statement?
MadamPuddifoot
i lold at "i clawed my way up from hell". Perfection
DeckMyHalls
A funny dick. I'd tinder battle you for who's the bigger dick any day. Care for a match?
theSandManHasArrived
suddenly, every guy here is a dick on tinder too and they all claim to be perfect for you. Coincidence?
ThatGuyWithTheTopHat
How is one a lizard named Richard on Tinder?
disposableairman
Should use the skip card as the uno follow up. Because some people (my better half) never played, and so do not understand the hate of draw4
suitestars
You mean you're the best on tinder.
p3aker
"i'm a troll on tinder"
undercovercuntbitch
I need to know what you look like!
LoudAngryJerk
*shrugs* it's funny so who cares
Pineappletrain
i would love to get a repsonse like this, never have a fun interaction on there...
gottalovewastingtime
In all honesty I've never had a tinder, but if this is how i thought most of the conversations would go, i would definitely get one...
gottalovewastingtime
P.S. you are hilarious
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Guy trolls girl on tinder: "hilarious!" Girl trolls guy on tinder: "what a bitch!"
Mimsey
A) That's the opposite of how it goes. B) Tindr is a buffet for chicks, yet another series of interviews for men. [1]
Mimsey
So chicks trolling on Tindr are abusing their good fortune. Guys trolling on Tindr are mocking an unequal system. [2]
theSandManHasArrived
from my experience and based in all these comments..I am pretty sure it works the other way. Guys are dicks girls are hilarious.
BugJuiceComesFromWhoYouAre
Yeah, I agree. My comment is about Imgurs reaction to them :/
ASithInTraining
Or you should have ended your conversations with "And Now The Weather" and seen how long it took them to find your imgur. Then in ... 1/?
ASithInTraining
in your favorites there should only be posts with questions that lead them to other Imgur posts. Each of those you should leave another 2/?
ASithInTraining
comment as hint to the next part of the puzzle preferably out to Taco Bell in which you you have put the Imgur logo on a single fire 3/?
ASithInTraining
sauce that that has GPS coordinates on it that lead 5 miles out into the desert. When they get there it is just you in a 4/?
ASithInTraining
Full size Darth Vader costume and it is the day after the opening and you spoil everything for them then you steal their car and leave them.
umcats
My friend maintains a tinder just so we can get drunk and be jerks to creeps. Running theme: get guys to agree to try it in their butt.
lmOIdGREEGG
IM GOING TO DO THIS
w4nder3r
Please make a post about this!
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
Omg next time I'm doing that I'm trying that one XD
umcats
Dooooo it. And be as graphic as possible. :-D
MeatyKiwi
Curious about what defines a creep?
njaboston
If you have to ask, odds are you're one of them.
MeatyKiwi
Because want to know how someone else thinks I am probabilistically the thing I'm trying to understand? Great deduction Sherlock.
njaboston
That sentence is so convoluted I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say.
priondefolder
Cue radiohead
umcats
Two scenarios: Either they have abysmal grammar, or they are someone who opens a conversation with a lewd sexual advance.
MeatyKiwi
So someone who doesn't have an education is a creep?
umcats
There is a difference between not having an education and being too lazy to apply one. If you don't try at the beginning, you never will.
Bakersquare
My go to opening line is to ask them seemingly random questions that don't make sense. Like "If you were a planet which one would you be."
umcats
Pluto, obviously.
Bakersquare
Now that I think about it, I may be a creep.
umcats
Sigh. You brought this on yourself. *requisite butt sex comment*
howaboutthisonethen
Everyone who attempts contact but isn't attractive enough not to be labeled "romantic"
howaboutthisonethen
attractive enough to be*
umcats
Most of them are very attractive by standard definitions. However, being attractive doesn't give them carte blanche to be gross or rude.
howaboutthisonethen
I knoow, just wanted to generalise a bit. Long as you don't bait them into creeping it's fine really :)
umcats
Nah. That wouldn't be sporting. There are plenty of creeps to pick on without being jerks to nice people trying to meet someone.