UngratefulNoob
159769
2347
178
Fig SCP-2399-1: Time lapse photography of SCP-2399's travel path from ██/██/██ to ██/██/██.
Item #: SCP-2399
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-2399's location and nature, physical means of containment are currently impossible. Implanted Foundation agents in major observatories are to contain footage or images of SCP-2399. An ongoing misinformation campaign is in effect, which has thus far been able to completely suppress any knowledge pertaining to SCP-2399 from public awareness.
Foundation satellites in orbit around Jupiter are to maintain constant vigilance of SCP-2399's reconstruction efforts, and make all attempts to hinder that process should SCP-2399 reach a minimum of 75% completion. Additionally, a perimeter of long-range electromagnetic jamming satellites (BARRIER Array) has been situated in high-Jupiter orbit. Any transmissions intercepted by this array are to be summarily decoded and logged.
In the event of SCP-2399 surpassing 75% completion or an information breach in the jamming perimeter, necessary Foundation personnel will engage Protocol LEGIONNAIRE-5 (See Addendum 2399-L5), given its completion by that time.
Description: SCP-2399 is a massive, complex mechanical structure currently located in Jupiter's lower atmosphere. Since its visual discovery in 1963, SCP-2399 has been observed to use highly advanced, anti-matter-based weaponry to create spacial disruptions and devastating atmospheric [DATA EXPUNGED] observable as a large red vortex, commonly known as the Great Red Spot.
SCP-2399 appears to be damaged, possibly due to an impact with the moon Io before coming to rest in its current position. SCP-2399 has been observed releasing a multitude of small, octopoid repair drones in efforts to repair the damage it has taken. Some of these drones will remain near SCP-2399, while others will patrol nearby moons, or deeper into the gasses of Jupiter itself, in search of parts that SCP-2399 is missing. Computer models estimate that SCP-2399 is at 59% completion, with a current rate of .78% annually. This rate has increased from an estimated .12% in 1970.
Despite its damaged state, SCP-2399 seems to possess a limitless power supply, advanced electromagnetic shielding, matter-disrupting weaponry, the ability to repair damage done to itself, and a precise tracking and targeting system (See Addendum 2399-2b). Due to the large difference in technological advancement between the creator of SCP-2399 and our own, for all intents and purposes, SCP-2399 is currently indestructible by human means. In theory SCP-2399 might be left vulnerable by a powerful enough electromagnetic pulse. Unfortunately, this technology does not yet exist.
Since 1971, SCP-2399 has been the recipient of an unending stream of electromagnetic-based communications originating in the Triangulum Galaxy, roughly 3 million light years from Earth. The means of SCP-2399's travel to our solar system, and the means of its communications, are all unknown. From 1971 to 1985, SCP-2399 continuously received a single encoded message which, through codebreaking and translation efforts, appeared to be a command to repair the damage it incurred upon entering our solar system. After this time, the BARRIER array was established to intercept these messages. This coincided with a period of radio silence from the origin of the communications, until 1996, when a different order began transmitting. The BARRIER array has thus far prevented SCP-2399 from receiving this command (See Addendum 2399-Comm-Log).
Fig SCP-2399-2: SCP-2399 (circled in red) as visible from BARRIER Unit 21
SCP-2399 Discovery Notes:
SCP-2399 was originally observed, albeit unknowingly, by Giovanni Cassini in 1665. The following is taken directly from Cassini's journal on the event, translated from Italian to English.
------------------------------------------
08/10/1665
I have observed something extraordinary in the heavens. Last night, as I gazed through my looking glass, I saw what appeared to be a star of great luminescence streak through the far reaches of our solar system. I have never recorded an object moving so fast; it had surpassed the outer planets in fewer than two hours! As I watched, by my own two eyes, I saw it slow as it closed on Jupiter, make a sharp turn, and disappear into the planet itself. I saw many bursts of light afterwards, but although I continued to peer at it until the Sun broke, I saw no additional disturbances in the night sky. I must continue to document these changes, and will alert my colleagues when the day is upon me.
------------------------------------------
15/10/1665
I took Peter to my observation point last night, but a week from the night I saw the fire rain upon Jupiter in the heavens. He brought along his own looking glass, and together we aimed our view upon the giant. To our surprise, a magnificent change has occurred! Where once the distant world only showed bands of color, there is now a great red spot where the star came to rest on the surface of Jupiter. Peter was incredulous, of course, that such an amazing discovery could have taken place before our very eyes. I will continue to take note of this.
------------------------------------------
18/10/1665
Tonight as I peered through my looking glass, I swear on my life that I observed what looked to me like explosions and starbursts emanating from our red spot. I fear my mind is playing tricks on me, for there has been no record of such violent outbursts by a heavenly body since the dawn of astronomy. I will consult with Peter on the morrow, and hopefully glean from him some advice on the matter.
------------------------------------------
19/10/1665
Peter sees the same as I! As I approached him with my concerns, he leveled the same with me, and through our following discussion we concluded that it must be a powerful reaction to the falling star I saw upon the first night, and not a product of our own shortcomings. I am left wondering what cataclysmic event must be taking place upon our heavenly neighbour. Our work to document this must go on.
------------------------------------------
Addendum 2399-2b:
At ████ hours on ██/██/██, BARRIER Unit 53 observed one of SCP-2399's repair drones closing on a piece of debris, quickly determined to be part of a damaged communications array. Because of the nature of this specific component, and the ramifications of allowing SCP-2399 to recover it, it was ordered that BARRIER Unit 45 fire upon the drone with its on-board concussion batteries.
Batteries were discharged; however, the drone appeared undamaged. Footage obtained by BARRIER Unit 53 shows that, while the payload in question was launched towards the repair drone, it was destroyed within 5 km of the target by additional charges originating from SCP-2399. Command lost contact with BARRIER Unit 45 15 seconds after initial discharge, with video observation showing SCP-2399 [DATA EXPUNGED] the resulting spacial anomaly originating in ████-██-████-█ [DATA EXPUNGED] the termination of BARRIER Unit 45 by BARRIER Units 44, 51, and 55.
Under no circumstances are any BARRIER Units to further engage either SCP-2399 or drones released by SCP-2399.
Addendum 2399-2c: Project Gigas:
After the events of ██/██/██, it was decided that necessary force would be authorized to destroy or incapacitate SCP-2399. Using Foundation resources, as well as resources from 45 nations (notably, █████ ███████, ███████, █████ ██████, ██████, ███████ ██████, ██████'█ ████████ ██ █████, and ██████████ ██████'█ ████████ ██ █████), a platform of ██ warheads bearing ███ Mt payloads and ██ warheads bearing EMP detonators was launched and placed in orbit around Europa. On ██/██/██ at ████ hours with orders from 15 heads of state and O5█, O5█, O5█, O5█, and O5█, the entire payload of Project Gigas was launched towards SCP-2399.
[DATA EXPUNGED]
Efforts to develop alternative methods of eliminating SCP-2399 are currently underway.
Addendum 2399-L5:
------------------------------------------
So, SCP-2399.
Have you ever sat and wondered, maybe after you hear about a car accident on a street you were just on, or a bombing in a city you were visiting, just how lucky you are to be alive? Just how many things have to go right for you to continue to exist? A few seconds too late, a few seconds too early, and somebody reaches for something they dropped and a busload of people run into another busload of people. Sometimes this kind of thing does happen, as we've seen, far too often. But that's what we're here for. To protect those who can't protect themselves from things that they wouldn't even know to protect themselves from.
We can't do it all, though. As many things as we've been able to contain, as many things as we've been able to keep under lock that would threaten to destroy us all, still far too many remain that we can't do anything about. Whether they're too big, or too fast, or too powerful, any of these things could blink and wipe humanity from existence. The fact that they haven't done so yet is just luck. SCP-2399, however, is different.
We have little information regarding SCP-2399's motives, origins, and full capabilities. We do not understand how it is capable of communicating over such large distances, or why those who constructed it (if it was, in fact, constructed) sent it to us in the first place. We do not know what would happen if SCP-2399 is able to fully repair itself, or if part of our array would break down and a message would get through. We do not know this, so we must assume the worst. Judging by what we've seen, were SCP-2399 to have reached Earth, it would have led to our timely destruction.
But sometimes humanity gets a little help. Sometimes something steps in the way of the apocalypse. For us, and for SCP-2399, it was Jupiter. As SCP-2399 began to slow on its approach to Earth, Cassini saw what we've been able to ascertain; that SCP-2399 struck Io, was damaged, and was unable to escape the gravitational pull of Jupiter. Its weapons activated as they were intended, but it was Jupiter that experienced doomsday, not us.
Eventually, though, it's likely that SCP-2399 will resume full functionality, and will likely be able to pull away from Jupiter and proceed to its target. As of now, we can keep hurling bombs and EMPs at it all we want, but we've got no indication that any of it will so much as scratch the thing, on the contrary, experience dictates it would do nothing at all. If this were to happen now, we would undoubtedly be destroyed.
Jupiter has given us time. For now, SCP-2399 will remain there, reassembling itself, while we devise some way to stop it. Like it or not, we are in an arms race with this thing. Our best guesses give us something like 25 years until it is able to hear past our dampening array. Until then, we must seize the opportunity that has been laid before us. We must use the time we have been given, and not let it be wasted.
So we devised Protocol LEGIONNAIRE. One gigantic EMP, powered by god-knows-what, followed by a volley of nukes big enough to wipe out our civilization a thousand times over. A blunt plan, and simple, and likely futile. Our researchers, and researchers around the globe, have yet to devise even a way to deliver that kind of pulse, let alone a way to power it. There is no indication whatsoever that we will be able to complete LEGIONNAIRE on time, or if it will do what is intended once it is completed. But we must try. We must do something. Even if we have to drain our banks and empty our mines, we must try.
Not often do we get a chance to see the swerving bus that will end our lives, and step out of the way. Jupiter, unknowingly, has offered us that chance. I suggest we take it.
Randall McAllan
Director
BARRIER Project, Site ██
------------------------------------------
Addendum 2399-Comm-Log:
- WE SAW THE SOUND AND HEARD THE LIGHT
All messages logged are to be understood as having repeated themselves, continuously, until either a new message is logged, or a logged instance of radio silence.
------------------------------------------
██/██/1971- Unit is damaged: Repair
██/██/1985- Updating Orders: Maintain Position: Repair
██/██/1985- Period of radio silence, BARRIER Array is established.
██/██/1996- Unit is out of range of target: Proceed to planet #3 in system [COORDINATES REDACTED]: Repair
██/██/2015- Unit is out of range of target: Proceed to planet #3 in system [COORDINATES REDACTED]: Priority is target: Cease repairs
------------------------------------------
Welp I was almost consistent.
Yell at me to post more over here ----> https://discord.gg/GGhtYGM A shared discord channel for everyone on the Tagaroo bot taglist.
Source: http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2399 Author: djkaktus
WTF is this shit? Look here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/faq
MayorMcWeed
Sounds like earth isn’t the target, and that it is just a firing position to hit something else?
fistermatic5000
This is one of my favorites.
TheNippleHunter
A new post?
JudgeDrench
What do you have to take to come up with this?
Onennon
Of course it has infinite power. It's in one of the best wind farms in the solar system.
fistermatic5000
You should do 073 and 076 soon
Samsquantch82
I really, really enjoy these SCP things. They're amazing.
Startrekker95
Jupiter, keeping us safe from asteroids, comets, and extragalactic doomsday devices since time immemorial
quagma
[REDACTED] IN SPAAAACE!
FriendlyNeighborhoodLoner
[DATA EXPUNGED]
JustARegularOldPotato
In space no one can hear you [REDACTED]
HonestbutSweetAboutIt
Captain, i don’t understand shit
StandardDeviant
Kind of reminds me of The Expanse
Mitchz95
Season 3 starts on Wednesday! I'm so fucking excited.
darxide
Maybe it's time to go check out SCP again. See what's new in the last couple years.
BAzV
Just send someone down there to sneeze on it.
vhexi
I got that reference
Xenolith166
Thank fuck for Jupiter, bulwark of Sol
shokomann
Tl:dr
JudgeDrench
Jupiter is best dad
XenomorphZZ
First Pheobe now this? Thank fuck for Jupiter.
savageworld
What if Jupiter is sentient and none of this is an accident? He/it is actively defending his/its solar system from those asshole aliens.
PowwerOrb13
Father of the Roman pantheon, has to protect his kids and grandma Terra.
PowwerOrb13
His brothers, dad, and grandpa though... they can all go get fucked.
WorldSinger
But don't you see SCP-239 was trying to save US!!!!!!!!
PotassiumRegulatoryCommittee
Man, I feel sorry for the fuckers on the third planet in whatever system that thing is in
HighlyRatedBarcodeExterminator
I feel like that's supposed to be us
Hitlerslostsecondtesticle
I know I'm a year late but r/whooosh
HighlyRatedBarcodeExterminator
no u
ServantOfTheGodEmperorOfUsersub
No U Electric Boogaloo
CoachGordBombay
Can someone help explain to a friend of mine? They have no idea what these SCP posts are... I know of course, but um he doesn't...
Moghul
The post tells you where to go to understand what these are.
Ryanator50
Secret Government Agency that keeps any indestructible artifacts, beings, or forces a secret from the public at any cost.
shhep
Treat it as real report from X-files like organization (or Men in Black like if you prefer) that deals with real bad shit.
Ryanator50
and they're willing to sacrifice the lives of humans to keep them contained. usually kidnapped death row inmates.
Sathan
http://www.scp-wiki.net/faq
jakaii
SCP is a collective fan-fiction of generally spoopy, illuminati kind of stuff. It doesn't belong to a book or game or anything.
WellThatsOriginal
I am actually "The Friend". Don't tell him! Let's keep it between us. BTW. I forgot a little bit of it. Can you explain for me.
jakaii
SCP is a collective fan-fiction of generally spoopy, illuminati kind of stuff. It doesn't belong to a book or game or anything.
AreYouPlayingTHEGame
I’m just an idiot. WTF is this shit saying?
InsouciantSausage
This thing killed God, boys
KeithBrgstrm
This is by far my favorite so far! Loves it.
xizar
Okay... So keep in mind that the Great Red Spot is getting smaller and may disappear in a couple of decades.
DJGnarly
evildeanie
What the fuck is all this? Where’s the TLDR?
DoYouGuysNotHavePhones
a destroyer-class ship that crashed into jupiter and activated all its weapons accidentally.
JustLettingPeopleBeWrong
TL;DR for the entire SCP wiki: AAAAARRRGHHHFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK
ZachPutland
People make up spooky scary things and ramble about them endlessly
SandwichRGood
It's a site for made-up creepy or weird things. It's called the SCP wiki. people can make up stuff and if its good enough get it added.
TielKiri
This guy takes entries from the SCP wiki (really cool website, link at the bottom of the post) and posts them here. Tl;Dr: World-ending 1/2
TielKiri
alien ship crashed into Jupiter and is trying to repair itself so that it can visit Earth. 2/2
evildeanie
Thank you. I’m lazy.
Grayhoof85
I almost thought this was a regular space post. Almost. +1, Praise Jove.
barackterrell
It mentions Cassini seeing it passing the outer planets, but they weren't discovered until Cassini was dead
JamesProton
Also, somehow Cassini was able to see in detail the Great Red Spot with an eyeglass? Unless the eyeglass was another SCP, then yeah right
previoustopcomment
SCP suppressed Cassini's discovery of those planets in order to hide Cassini's reference to this object in his notes.
barackterrell
Uranus by Herschel in 1710s and neptune by the Berlin observatory in 1780s
minepagan
because his notes got redacted, duh
NateintheNorth
Good point. Also, it's quite easy to miss things in space, if you're in controlled flight. Not super believable that something so advanced..
NateintheNorth
..just "hit Io" like oops. These SCPs are neat though.
JasonDoodle
Yes but is there spice there?
YallMight
Since when does the Democratic People's Republic of Congo have EMP warhead jurisdiction?
Altanese
Korea, not Congo
Ryanator50
they secretly have vibranium
ChronologicalMyopia
It's a little joke, also the scp universe is kind of fucked up.
Metals4J
shhep
This gif gets so much better with context. Especially in this case.
GreenLantern15
How'd you figure the name of the countries out?
YallMight
Space and punctuation placement
YoureThinkingOfSomeoneElse
Bounced off Io? Sounds like The Traveler.
Momocrisps
One SCP I really like is this one that is a school bus that went missing, found on the moon. There are two other SCPs related to it and 1/2
Momocrisps
they all add up to one big story. It's actually really cool. If you shared that one with everyone, I'd be psyched.
SpecialAgentSkully
That one's really cool! Personally my favorite SPC is I am a Toaster. :)
Nerozard
Such a good silly SCP my favorite is Scravecrow
SpecialAgentSkully
Just read it!d Love the interviews at the end!!
C0RDE
Ryanator50
I like the one where they found a mummified foot in egypt, but it had the DNA of a present day guy in California who still had both feet 1/2
Ryanator50
Interestingly enough, it says that he recently lost that foot in an accident, and they have both versions of the foot in lockup. 2/2
Momocrisps
I haven't heard of that one before. Sounds neat tho. two others I really like are the red lake, and the man in the stone cube.
Momocrisps
I also read one about a talking spider who was actually a friendly guy and it ended in him dying from age. Sad af.
Momocrisps
or one about living Cacti who if you anger them turn you into a cactus and make you join their horde. It ends on a cliffhanger of sorts.
Momocrisps
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1478 this is the cactus one
Momocrisps
also, if you're interested, I found the School Bus on Titan (thought it was the moon) http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1480 at the bottom of 1/2
Ryanator50
that is awesome
Momocrisps
the page, the other 2 SCPs related to it are down there. Read them all to get the entire story.
MrRubberBurner
Doot
bushpotato
What are these?
Sathan
http://www.scp-wiki.net/faq
bluebisket
Can someone explain what the hell is going on here
XaviersSnakeArm
Aliens with overpowered space ship capable of fucking up planets crashed on jupiter and are trying to repair the ship
bluebisket
This is a joke right
Ryanator50
it's part of an ARG Men InBlack/XFiles thing called SCP.
Sherl0ck
ARG?
Ryanator50
Alternate Reality Game. Like Slenderman stuff.
XaviersSnakeArm
Nah dude that's a tldr
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