ooohsomethingshiny
83135
2499
115
Apr 15, 2021 2:59 AM
ooohsomethingshiny
83135
2499
115
witchykitchen
delitescency
That one where the girl is posting to tell everyone how great she is and she apparently... danced? While her grandpa died? Is fucking weird
theduckbook
Good mix of recipes and memes
ShutUpMeh
That smoothie sounds gross
dekket
#12 clearly not beneath them, and that's the problem
CmfMttnPpl
#3 oh fuck ya
Baughr
#16 man i started reading then was like "too long" and skipped to the bottom... that comment on the post nailed it lol
BriefcaseTacos
potato is me
SpeedyCerviche
#32 just surviving is not enough. You gotta have a reason to survive. Otherwise, why bother?
meatfest1974
I thought Atheists had always owned Christians.
BornOnAMonday83
WanderingWithoutADestination
This is a really, really great assortment of memes you have here friend. Well done. [— Official Notice of Meme Acquisition—]
theusa
The AZ and j&J clots are in the brain, birth control blood clots are usually in the thighs. The vaccine patients also showed low platelets.
nothingelsetodo
Get your own Doritos, kid...
DeltaBladeX
#3 Reliant pileup
BobDoleKingOfBudapest
Dance as I die.
candar
#11 no, no, this one's pretty straightforward. The AZ _probably_ mostly effects women, whereas the BC is just women. NBD on the latter!
Mickeysofine
#3 he's an alien. There were no Earthly circumstances involved.
Chubawamba0
Brilliant dump, thanks
TheFunionKnight
#6 no I'm not re entering society Im too far gone down the eccentric hermit rabbit hole
Inarticulated
#1 Oh god.. I just remembered ordering a bunch of blueberry muffins yesterday.. Like 48 of 'em.. Should arrive around 4:45 PM..
HarmonyIsTemporary
Hey @op
ooohsomethingshiny
Aw, you’re too kind
therealzombiejesus
andre21
I know it's supposed to be them hugging but it looks like a telatubbie orgy
DaveSamsonite
This should be “From a Mother to a child.” Makes zero sense as is.
Nanuek
Yeah, I restarted that like three times because the context made no sense
catrov
The "Dear Mother" at top of page is probably a chapter title, not the title of this one epigram.
thecanadianwhoatethemoose
Tornado Watch = Keep doing whatever. Tornado Warning = Hold my beer, where is my camera.
BluePaladin42
Watch is the pregame.
Ikwilstroopwaffels
Tornado emergency = Ok, yeah... we gon die.
HapilyDamaged
Tornado warning is when you go out on the porch and see if you can see it form.
Ghlargh
Tornado watch = keep checking updates and maybe don't put up giant tents.
MissSpelledTattoo
And stay away from
v
ilhares
You sound like a proper midwestern resident.
thecanadianwhoatethemoose
Kansas State Alum
justonemorepicturepls
#12 I had a similar exchange and got the "why do you have to turn a joke into a lecture".Maybe because you hide your shit opinion in a joke?
GondwanaCraton
Tell them that it isn't a joke. It isn't. Not even slightly. 500k US deaths alone is "funny?" Ha fucking ha.
MotorBoatMyButtCheeks
#36 I definitely have a bucket of useless trivia
superkp
Don't even get me started on star wars or LOTR.
charondaboatman
Dumpster here...
MotorBoatMyButtCheeks
Pigs orgasms last 30 minutes on average
MyOtherShipIsAPython
There are more molecules in a cup of water than cups of water in all of the oceans, seas, lakes and rivers on earth. (1)
MyOtherShipIsAPython
That means it's absolutely guaranteed one of the molecules in a cup once passed through the kidneys of a great personality in history. (2)
MyOtherShipIsAPython
By drinking a cup of water, you shared a water molecule with Jesus, with Genghis Khan, with Martin Luther, Caesar, Plato...
ilhares
It's also entirely possible that's untrue. Those water molecules could have been separated into oxygen and hydrogen, never to reform.
WeMistbornsNeedNotMakeSense
Phlynch
Do you know how many sea witches with squid legs there are on land? Zero. She made the right choice.
WeMistbornsNeedNotMakeSense
She died and turned into sea bubbles because the prince doesnt love her back, in the original story.
softrogue01
#6 15 minutes? Some people need days worth of instructions to reenter society.
maobezw
why should i "reenter" something i was never really part of?
afatrollofmyown
I know right? They threw me away, not the other way around.
stink3rbelle
to be fair, I did spend most of that time instructing myself not to scratch my boob.
GondwanaCraton
If you'd wash it it wouldn't stink so much or itch like that.
stink3rbelle
tell that to your balls, assclown.
GondwanaCraton
It's called a 'quip' because it is a 'quick' comeback. 11 days seems more like a 'slope.' (Stolen from George Costanza in Shallow Hal)
stink3rbelle
quips generally should be clever. You just insulted my hygiene. I don't think there's a statute of limitations for defending my hygiene.
CommunCreator
#31 Someone care to explain the map there?
catrov
Think it has something to do with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYR9DaDSMUE
porpoiseoflife
But why the detours to the Kenai Peninsula and Cancun?
catrov
No idea. Remember, I said "something" to do, not "everything". Still can't figure out why they went via Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.
Zicar
Tl;dw N and S America are technically connected by a small strip of land (Darien Gap). There is a highway along that line, but it is (1/?)
Zicar
Unfinished because the Darien Gap is both a delicate ecosystem and incredibly dangerous in terms of tropical diseases and revolutionaries