sindail
24474
571
14
#standupcomedy #wizzinator #urinetest #howtopassadrugtest #funny
Mar 15, 2026 10:57 PM
sindail
24474
571
14
#standupcomedy #wizzinator #urinetest #howtopassadrugtest #funny
Trassation
This the guy that used to work on Crowder's show with him?
Timpani
This is an obscene invasion of privacy. This is all kinds of illegal in Europe.
garbuhj
Freaking funny!
illmx
BrickaBrackaFireCracker
Bunny-Man!
CeterumCenseo
Reminds me of that one BMS episode ...
Niagaran
I got hung up on him saying he got the urine of a friend ... and it was a teen.
Why's a middle aged man have teen friends?
INeedMoreGifMeMoreJustOneMore
Maybe it's a story from when he was a teen too?
solsactual
Probably not a story from yesterday?
GabbyJayYay
Gym, sports, clubs, activities, volunteering, coworkers... just off the top of head
kaoticgirl
His friend's kids. I gave pee to my moms friend's when they needed it.
throwaway12345432
I've seen those videos
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
I NEED UNADULTERATED CHILD'S PISS
Prostheta
THE FINEST WINES AVAILABLE TO HUMANITY
kaoticgirl
I used to give pee to my moms friends
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
I mean, you still do
michaeloberg
Danny's a genius
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
You can't compete with that, his metabolism is completely gone
hiyo365
A sentence you hear so often... XD
gluttonygreedpridewrathslothlustenvy
What can it cost? $10?
TheLordFoxington
No, that's the price for a banana.
SteersAndQueers
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dDZ6ZjJzeWhpZ2x1N2NtczZjODB5dWs4aGt4ejk3bjZ3OGsxbXEwNSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/FBayIVKx07DgwLzPFY/200w.webp
RatoMolhado
TBH I detest the pauses every three words. We know you're waiting for the laughs, but gosh, this stand up could have been an email.
SerialChickenLover
Are you by any chance in the 18-25 age group or younger, cant sit still, and can’t watch a video of someone talking unless there’s a subway surfers game going on in another part of the screen?
RatoMolhado
No, I'm about twice as older. I was referencing to this kind of humour, stand up comedy. Just not my cup of tea.
worldrecordstudios
Maybe you can give him some pointers if he ever is lucky enough to get booked as your opening act
RatoMolhado
I doubt I'd be doing stand up comedy, or any kind of comedy tbh, but stand up is definitively not my cup of tea.
worldrecordstudios
lol that was established
DocWino
I’m old and pst jumping through hoops. My resume is a mile long. I’m very good at what I do and they’d be hard pressed to find anyone better. I tell them straight up I’m dirty for weed, if that’s a deal breaker, I’m gone. It’s worked my last 2 jobs.
JustSomePersonThere
Waddaya do, if we may ask?
DocWino
Nurse
JustSomePersonThere
Cooool. My hats off to you. I love nurses/doctors/medics. Anyone who devotes their life to delivering medical care is fucking aces in my book.
DocWino
Ty, nice to be appreciated which can be rare sometimes. Over 30yrs now, I have had multiple injuries to prove it.
JustSomePersonThere
You deserve a lifetime of appreciation my friend. Bear those scars with pride, considering the countless lives you’ve improved or outright saved in your years.
Thegalwiththetie
Working as a Public Defender first, then as a prosecutor, I have seen a few adulterated urinalyses. About two a year on average. There's a reason "monitored" UAs have had to become a thing.
notfinelabsMcNastiLives3000
They can also test serum for alcohol metabolites. Urine testing involves not just alcohol, but UA to make sure it's legit urine.
But if youre at the point of needing frequent alcohol testing... There's a reason.
TsukariYoshi
I remember when I was going for a pre-employment pee test, I was confused when they had you wash your hands both after and BEFORE the test. I asked why that was - "people would hide powdered bleach or other chemicals in their fingernails to dump into the sample - doesn't really 'mask' anything but can ruin the sample, causing them to need to give a second sample, which means more time has passed for intoxicants to clear their system"
DoctorSniffles
In medicine the manipulation that surprised me was ADDING drugs to the piss. patient is on a med for adhd for example. We want to make sure you're actually taking it and not diverting it i.e. selling for profit. If you've been filing your script but the piss is clean there's a problem. So some people just started adding it directly to the urine. The concentration is usually way off so we can tell but my naive ass never even considered ADDING DRUGS to pass a piss test.
FlyingYakAttack
I was in the military and they straight up have to watch the urine exit the body during those randomly selected tests.
SeanBeanJovi
Pee all that you can pee in the Ar-rrr-rrrmy!
thetonestarr
That's what this whizzinator thing is for.
imaynotbeasmartmanjenny
supposed to only the weirdos were on top actually pecker checkin just keep the damn door open don't be that guy
threepotatoesinatrenchcoat
Yep. The dreaded "pecker checker" duty
FlyingYakAttack
I should say, 'randomly selected'
Pentjotal
Nah, they test my whole base just to see what kind of Brigade they had.
battery1979
When I was in Germany people were always "randomly selected" if they took leave and went to Denmark
SeanBeanJovi
Every time they had one of those meetings where they warn us about drugs (it was the 90s and raves were popular), I earned some suspicion for knowing too much about the drugs they were talking about. I was "randomly" selected for every test. Never caught. Consumed massive amounts of cranberry juice and stuck to stuff that didn't stay in your system long.
BrickaBrackaFireCracker
You could still pass if you're willing to do an, "oil change" with a catheter right before the test.
Successlessness
That sounds like it would be excruciatingly painful. Almost like "the juice would not be worth the squeeze."
smokinghashalg
What in the f
MissChickle
There are some things I'm glad I'm ignorant of, and I will not be pursuing an explanation for what that comment meant.
sjester42
Dude, it's way easier to pass anything but a spectrography test; just drink a gallon of water plus baking soda 8 hours before the test, and 6 hours before the test make sure you eat a greasy ass meal and drink at least a gallon of water, piss two hours before the test and consume another gallon to piss for the test. Passed many a piss tests back in the day that were only hot because they told me I couldn't do something... Granted that requires at least 8 hours notice.
Canigetbannedagain2
Drink a gallon of piss... Got it.
Successlessness
Instructions unclear. I ended up baking 2 gallons of piss and some baking soda blended up with a Big Arch meal