DadOnTheInternet
125796
2115
17
Jun 30, 2022 11:21 PM
DadOnTheInternet
125796
2115
17
AmericanBurek
RuricOrhlandis
..
MAARRS
I'm glad the cat moved out. You are a bully.
BeerBatteredandBold
That was a freebie.
measterl
People will treat you how you let them
G3arShift
Man I needed that laugh today
erbiumyttriumytterbium
"If you 2 don't cut it out I'm shaving both of you!"
qPRdxH4UXm36HS9rJgLA
Reminds me of "Only Murders in the Building"
DontBlinkDontEvenBlink
Depending on the gauge of the needle, they might not.
XuncuTheTiger
Robber, at the bar later: "When Jesus gives you a clear and persuasive out like that: you *goddamned take it.*
Dolenmorgul
I bet you put a guy on the right path with that outburst
MissIWasntItching
I'm writing that one down. Can't wait to shout that out of context at the next game of Monopoly.
ahhhhtomzilla
Cats are terrible at monopoly
Mostlydeadpool
a couple of my friends moved in together. one was an SCA guy with all sorts of swords and weapons. the other was a hunter/gun nut guy. the>
Mostlydeadpool
>hall closet was filled with battleaxes and swords and shotguns and rifles. i can see a burgler sneaking in..opening the closer and going >
Mostlydeadpool
"oh hell no. this is clearly the wrong house. I'm gonna stealth my ass the fuck out of here..."
Shamwowser
Nah they'd open the door, see all the expensive weapons unsecured and very close to the exit and say 'jackpot'
Racealistic
So it was a intruder? I dont get it
Fishkeeper
Presumably it was a burglar or the like, who decided to Not burgle this particular house.
abion47
It was the cat. It decided it had had enough of OP's weirdness and desired a normal relationship.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
Yes.
DadOnTheInternet
MrMetroid
AustimousPrime
Oh my fuck
HD2composer
This is perfection and almost wake up my roommates
Racealistic
mjs2353
Would be a much sadder story if it was their S/O they forgot about and has just assumed was another cat.
al3xinw0nderland0000
That would be, but then again considering my S/O and I talk like this to our cats I'd hardly worry
IHaveAGuyForEverything
This is 100% how I am with my cats. The threats vary wildly. The name calling would send a sailor running.
Justtakealookatthis
Sometimes I hear our neighbour go 'aren't you the cutest little whore? Yes you are!' to her cat.
RandomlyAppointedNSAAgent
"I swear to God if you don't stay out of my cereal I will deep fry your feet"
GramGram
"IMMA PEEL YOUR EYES LIKE THE SKIN OFF OF GRAPES IF YOU SIT ON THAT TABLE... *Puts single paw on table* "MAMA'S HAVING MURDER TONIGHT!"
RunanD
I am so casually threatening to my cat. I was in a call the other day and heard a meow, I look down at her and sweetly say "ohhh does my
RunanD
little bitchy kitty wanna go flying?" I had to answer many concerned questions from the six people in that call.
IHaveAGuyForEverything
Lol
IHaveAGuyForEverything
I said yesterday “stop it Luna or I will kick you in your non-existent ovaries all the way the moon”