Work stories from a grocery store manager

2 hours, took 2 hours from the asshat walking till everything was finally cleaned, so many groceries thrown out, so much stupid work. The smell didn't leave the store until we had a full cleaning done of the entire aisle the day after. There's a lot of alcoholics, most of them are nice enough if they can find the beer aisle, but some of them are just.....yeah.

So while i'm the manager, i'm also the smallest of all the guys i work with, standing at only 1:75 (5.74 feet) and this woman was not about to let me hold her back until security could take care of her, so i asked for some assistance from my 2:10 (6.8 feet) and everything went a lot smoother.... took about 10 minutes for security to arrive and do whatever they do when they catch a thief.

Some of the younger workers are denser motherfuckers than an Oedipus neutron star, but this guy actually seemed pretty smart, so when i came back and saw he had done nothing, i was getting a little annoyed, seeing however that he actually helped a disabled man like that, excused all of it. We had to work a little harder the rest of the evening to get everything done on time, but for once i was actually okay with that. It's the small thing people.

There is only one manager, that's me you want to speak to someone else, you have to call the store leader, that will tell you that you're a pathetic waste of human anatomy and that you should just listen to what i said since i know whats going on in the store...
The store leader manages 10 different stores spread over a large area, he doesn't have time to argue over the price of biscuits...

Blood. Everywhere.... A boxcutter is a brilliant tool because it's cheap to make and very sharp, and if it goes dull, you snap of a section and extend it further... a boxcutter will slice through cans no problem if you're too eager when removing cardboard and plastic, so you can imagine what it does to an arm when swung like a weapon.
We managed to get the poor guy to the hospital, which is about 500, from the store, after i had applied band-aids to the best of my abilities to try and stop the bleeding. he survived, luckily the wound wasn't too deep, but still looked very very gruesome.
Ohh and the kid that cut him was fired, only reason we didn't fire the guy with the cut arm was out of sympathy, he lasted 3 months then he got caught stealing fags from the storage area and sneaking them out in his backpack.... dumbass.

It was a weird day, made weirder... a Really drunk women was caught shoplifting in the store (again, I've met her before while security took her, and yes she had the dildo with her then) i call her out on it, she panics, drops the wine bottle, reaches into her bag that she was about to stuff the bottle into, and pulls out the "blunt weapon" i was more shocked than anything really, it's not like she's gonna hurt me with it, but she was like 50 and i do NOT want to know where that thing last were....
Word traveled fast in the store and my co-worker called the cops, since he thought she was actually assaulting me with the win bottle. security had run down when i called her out so they were quick to "diss-willy" her and drag her into the back room till the cops arrived.
One of the cops lost it and could not stop laughing while they asked about the situation, he stopped about the time his partner was done, and went to get the woman, weird day...
I've started to notice, that whenever i call a shoplifter out and they reach for their bag or pocket, i always move my hand to my boxcutter in my back pocket, hope no one pulls a knife on me....