bacter
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Real riveting reporting here:
"Some people got sick at a fair after eating fair food, so OBVIOUSLY our first thought was Fentanyl-laced dollar bills.
Anyway, we tested the bills, and it wasn't, but OH MAN CAN YOU IMAGINE IF IT WAS?
How CRAZY would that be?!"
"Actually, come to think of it, the REAL story is that we thought it might have been, let's run with that!"
Galfronon
But the Qnuts will eat this crap up.
MidoryMoon
Wow, that paper's website is just chock full of spam.
ps238principal
Food poisoning takes 6-24 hours to show up. If they got sicker faster than that, then yeah, they might want to investigate.
BlueCanaryInTheOutletByTheLightSwitch
They weren't eating the fair food, they were selling it. If all the people working at a certain place get suddenly sick, it's suspicious.
MadamMadame
Pulitzer-worthy, hard-hitting journalism & ace detective work right here.
HuskerCO
Oh good Lord, that's my hometown...
HuskerCO
I can almost see my mom's house from that bench... I'll have to make sure she hasn't ODed from imaginary fentanyl exposure
ZaphodBbx
Did the Lincoln Journal Star really print 'may had been'? I'm no English major, but I question the Cromulence of that phrasing.
isaidsomethingcool
Cromulence, haha nice
Cabreza
Agreed. They need to embiggen their grammar.
tonehoundsmoser9
Me fail English? That's unpossible
resolved
first of all Fentanyl does not work that way... it needs mucus or sliva contect to get into the body.
resolved
I mean unless someone is banging rails with 4-H dollars...
DrBlackJack
Fentanyl can be absorbed transdermally, though it's much harder to get a toxic dose that way, but far from impossible.
DrBlackJack
Source: 12 years working retail pharmacy.
LokiShinigami
I back this up, working in a prison we have to wear gloves handling everything. One officer picked up what he thought was trash and got hit