Scottasaurus
204
48
5
Colonoscopy Prep Saga: The Burninator
Sep 29, 2015 10:17 PM
Scottasaurus
204
48
5
Scottasaurus
Actual final update: confirmed its stopped. Lost 7 pounds in 2 hours. I'm going to go watch Star Trek TNG to take my mind off of my hunger.
jayneebutidontgotagun
here's hoping they knock you out while it happens.
Scottasaurus
(Possibly) Final update: the squirting has ceased, for now. I'll wait 15 more minutes, if it really has stopped then I'll go watch star trek
Scottasaurus
Update 4: I have decided to use "Update" to begin my comments. Also, I wish my shower had as much water pressure as my anus does right now.
Scottasaurus
Update 5: KTHCHATJSJAGAYQUWJWKDJCHDJD MY INSODES HAVE LIQUIFIED
ChickenChickenBurningBright
Should have just ate a nice box of Colon Blow. http://imgur.com/bvvXkUH
clowndickfart
http://media.giphy.com/media/igR5863TALcSk/giphy.gif
Scottasaurus
Update 8: The burst have quickened their pace, and intensity. They have been angered, judgong by the intensity of the burn.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Scottasaurus
This is my second one, first was 8 years ago at 17.
Scottasaurus
Update 7: I could set my watch by the squirts I'm having, they've settled in at 15 seconds apart. Maybe this could be used as a unit of time
Scottasaurus
2 minutes in: you know that sound when a tornado is coming, kinda like a train? My stomach just made that noise.
TehButternaut
the pain train
Scottasaurus
I have drank the first bottle of colon prep, along with 32 oz of water. Nothings happened yet...
Scottasaurus
Update 6: it keeps coming in waves. It sounds like someone keeps turning on a fire hose aimed at a pool. PSHKAAARAW.............. PSHAAAAAAS
Scottasaurus
Its about once every 15-30 seconds, and it lasts for about 3-5 seconds each burst.
mikemonk1
Get a video of your face for comedy..
captnspanksalot
Yeah, let us know how things come out. I guess this is like the generic of "Turbo-lax".
Scottasaurus
Things are coming out quickly, in liquid form
TehButternaut
i thought that was only offered by H and R Block
Scottasaurus
Minute 3: OHMAHGAWD WHAT IS THIS DEMON EMERGING FROM MY SPHINCTER
BeardBeginner
Use grass type pokemon. They're super effective against water.
Scottasaurus
Incidently, I have my 3DS with Pokemon with me in case I get bored on imgur.
TehButternaut
bagul
Scottasaurus
I'd guess Balal, since it lied to me about how it would taste
kcufuck
You're gonna die dude.
Scottasaurus
Didn't die. Wish I had. Anus in pain.
kcufuck
Good thing you're not blind. You know, because they have to taste it to know when they're done wiping.
Scottasaurus
...gross
kcufuck
You can take it. You just Chipotled for hours now.
Scottasaurus
Hah, I like that. Verb'd chipotle
Scottasaurus
Update 10: I have settled into a routine, Squirt for 5, rest for 10. The hunger from not eating all day, wih the knowledge that I 1/2
Scottasaurus
Won't eat again until after 3:00 tomorrow, is lowering moral past acceptable limits
insertpunnynicknamehere
Weak cordial is like mana from heaven. Strained soup is okay as well if dire
jaybird2370
Can tell you from experience, if you ever wanted to try anal or pegging, right after the colonoscopy is the time.
Scottasaurus
This is my second time prepping, and I'd rather be pegged than experience this.
jaybird2370
I hope it all goes well and I hope they don't find anything they shouldn't.
Scottasaurus
Thank you, they wanted to do it to check up on it, there haven't been any new pains or symptoms
jaybird2370
Well I have been through it with a couple family members and a few boyfriends so I know it's no fun. I do wish you luck. Fingers crossed!
TehButternaut
keep us updated.
Scottasaurus
I plan to live update this thing, I've got nothing else to do gor the next 6 hours... besides pooping
TehButternaut
thats the life...
Scottasaurus
Only when the poop happens on your own terms
L34dP1LL
BRING FORTH OUR LORD COLONFYRE!!
Scottasaurus
Believe me, Lord Colonfire does not need to be summoned. His presence is already in attendance.
L34dP1LL
GLORY BE!
Scottasaurus
There is no glory here, only spouts of unholy fire
L34dP1LL
MORTAL YOU ARE BLESSED WITH BEING THE VESSEL OF COLONFYRE.
Scottasaurus
I am his messenger, through me his words are spoken. His words are stink and death.
Scottasaurus
Update 9: Ran out of water, thirst growing. I managed to time a run to the kitchen in bewteen squirt bursts, got a gatorade. Returned safely
udontneedtoknowmyname
Brave man. I dunno if I'd have been willing to risk it.
Scottasaurus
The suprep made me incredibly thirsty. That, and the fact that most of my liquids are leaving and need to be replaced.
udontneedtoknowmyname
Good luck! It sounds like you kinda need it...
Scottasaurus
Much appreciated. The worst part is my legs are asleep from so much toilet sitting.
udontneedtoknowmyname
Yeah, that always sucks.