indyjones2010
87989
1959
40
Feb 20, 2021 7:21 PM
indyjones2010
87989
1959
40
CheeseburgertheSinister
What about "Oh, hey, I wondered where they took Dave off to. That's his skeleton. I'm going to pick at it."
igobeder
If that rooster is laying eggs, you've got a county fair winner.
Morg729
Or cockatrices
AMercer
Chickens are a weird blend. Dumb, dumb, dumb animals but they are the most curious about things you ever saw.
theobituator
Styrofoam thing true, doe
BradleyNorby
Farmed most of my life and I'll tell you don't underestimate how smart or dumb animals can be and you've got livestock and deadstock
StupidSexyCentaur
Gf and I spent days stringing up bird netting to keep starlings out of our coop. Finally had to resort to wrapping the building with it.
StupidSexyCentaur
We unstring a corner of it. One person ducks in and the other passes them food and water.
horsesareevil
feeding your chickens only when you put them in for the night will help with that too. Having feed just sitting around 24/7 attracts pests
gyngersnapp
Louder for those in the back: Chickens are not vegetarians.
YoureGonnaNeedABodyBag
Have chickens, can confirm
IDontKnowWhatToDoAnymoreAndImTired
Seconded. I can feel EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE.
holycrapitsmyles
Are they good pest control?
bohemiancrabcity
We had a tick problem before chickens. HAD.
YoureGonnaNeedABodyBag
Mine are.
LateNightBunnyParty
Ditto
thechocmaster
I used to have chickens and ducks as pets, this time around I bought pullets and didn’t name them, a year in I still have 5/8
thechocmaster
Only one to predators, 2 broke their necks doing dumb chicken things
PerrinAybara564
Wife and I got 8 5 years ago. We moved into town leaving them behind at her brother's house. 7 died over the winter so we took the last into
PerrinAybara564
town and kept her. The other 7 either froze or were lost to predators. GavHen is safe and has produced eggs every day except this last year
thechocmaster
Sounds like she has earned herself an easy life from here out, give her something tasty for me
thechocmaster
I’m using a 12x12 dog kennel with a cover and paneling for the wind, hay floor, they have a covered roost in the corner, SE Pa, not cold yet
J4nein4ne
@duckalet
evicshen
Sounds like Silkies
NeuroNerd87
Cockerell don't lay eggs
Cuthailon958888
Chicken memes....I did not expect it but I appriciate it.
jmbmpt
*DIES*. Damn. Sorry for the loss OP. And now I want chickens.
superkp
Building a decent coop will likely cost $500-1000 and they require daily maintenance. But a typical city house with a decent back yard/
superkp
/ can easily have enough space for a coop and aflock of 5-6 or like up to 10 if you don't like them very much.
DanielHurran
All true
catsandcoke
I was the neighbor in #11. The rooster knew he wasn’t supposed to be in my yard. I woke up to him crowing under my bedroom window.
catsandcoke
As soon as I’d open the door he’d go running home. His ladies would forget where they lived and would run around in a panic. Morons.
1Monty
How did you learn their language, or do you have a chicken translator on your iphone?
MischievousDuck
MoonRiverFrost
#15 I did not understand this one
lthewaffley
As long as none of you fucks ask for gras fed chicken bone broth at my store we good.
athenacosplay
100% what it's like raising my tiny feathered velociraptors
trigonman3
This post wins the Pullet Surprise.
IWasACatAllAlong
I watched moana today, and it sounds like that was a very realistic depiction of chickens.
superkp
Except hei hei was 1. occasionally useful and 2. was aware enough of his environment to freak out about being on the ocean.
duoplicity
Crush up the eggshells & scatter them where they scratch (it will keep them from wanting to eat the whole eggs because they crave calcium)
rtnoobBreaker
Use crushed clam shells, the won't make eating the egg as much of a habit
kddk8s
I pop the egg shells in the toaster oven first. Avoids biotin deficiency and makes them crumblier.
kddk8s
Granted... I have ducks and geese, not chickens. They exhibit different death wishes.
thechocmaster
I started adding calcium to their feed and they stopped, also helps make a thicker shell on the egg
duoplicity
They also will prefer a muddy puddle to clean water because of the minerals in dirt
duoplicity
Also, chickens will happily eat any protein from mice to lizards to insects but they love greens with a passion (good for the eggs too)
duoplicity
Dust bathing keeps mites and other parasites to a minimum as well so that's why they seem to get dirty or want to bathe
BitchButcher
I also thought a few tiems, that "owner" is putting humans standards onto chickens and that just doesn't work out.
alticaarden
A chicken is just a chicken doing its chicken thing. I doubt it even understands who or what you are
LoggingOutNow
What are you doing with random open containers of water deep enough to drown a chicken?
sydneygirl
horse waterer..or a pond/dam....
LoggingOutNow
A livestock trough maybe. Letting your chickens wander around is just asking for trouble.
sydneygirl
LOL, mine free range from dawn to dusk
LoggingOutNow
Mine free range in the fenced wonderland I made for them. Without it, they'd be eaten by raccoons or foxes or fucked with by hogs.
superkp
How else am I going to drown my chickens?
MiasmaCorrigan
I've seen chickens kill and eat sparrows, they're not vegetarians.
berserk
And they will eat mice too.
skipweasel
Lakeylake
"Love me tenders, farm boy." - Chicken
a2s2020
...And the bantam opens one eye and whispers "shh... Vultures!"
TunnelRat13
MightyOrbot1
Give her a damn belly rub already.
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
S-stepfarmer!!
hardlyfatal
Lost me with the vegetarian thing. If you can't handle having an omnivorous creature, then don't.
Chuckinsky
@indyjones2010 I didn't get this either. What is bad about chickens eating mice? Everything I read said it's normal and not dangerous.
indyjones2010
Nothing is bad about them eating mice, I just thought these were all funny.
hardlyfatal
Nothing is bad about it. It's a vegetarian trying to impose that dietary choice unnaturally on animals reliant on them for feeding.
ransomjelly
Yikes I saw read about someone feeding their cat only veg. It went blind or something wild like that. I forget
hardlyfatal
Exactly. A lot of carnivorous animals rely on nutrients that are NOT available in veg. matter. Cats go blind w/out taurine, for example.
awesomecat42
Only blind? A vegetarian cat will die of malnutrition.
ransomjelly
Guess the story hasn’t progressed that far when I heard it
WisconsinHome
I don’t understand the one about mustard
bohemiancrabcity
They eat the yoke
borednerd55
Maybe they are saying the chicken thinks the yolk in the eggs are mustard, idk
notreallyhereatall
Had to ask my wife about that. Apparently a trick to teach chickens not to break and eat eggs, is to fill an empty egg with mustard. 1/2
superkp
I have chickens. this is the answer.
notreallyhereatall
The chickens will either hate the taste, or get it on thier face so you can identify (and cull) the egg eater. 2/2
WisconsinHome
Complicated! Oddly I also saw a comment about mustard shoes and Obama yesterday but I also could not figure out
rufisium
Maybe they put mustard bon the eggs to keep them away?
Eristicrat
Lol. If they could get to the eggs fast enough to cover them with mustard as a deterrent, couldn't they just take the eggs?
rufisium
I have no idea lol I was thinking they were trying to make the eggs keep so they could hatch. #iDon'tRaiseChickens
AngelButter
you empty out an egg,refill it with mustard so when they peck it they get a mouthful of mustard and hopefully decide they don’t like “eggs”
dawgsRmylife
Yup. This. My friggen hen loved the mustard eggs.
rufisium
Not sure if it's true, but I'm gonna believe you :)
AngelButter
That’s the theory, I don’t do it though, if I get an egg eater I make sure they have enough calcium available, collect eggs every hour...
AngelButter
And put out scratch, or let them free range or something else to keep them entertained for a couple weeks, usually it was boredom or lack...
dawgsRmylife
It’s true. I did the mustard. Hen still ate them. Eventually she stopped on her own.
Attroc
Chickens aren't vegetarians.
rihani3
Few animals will pass up a good source of protein.
KaizokuShojo
Eggs taste better when they've got plenty of bugs in their diet. The grass/scraps help, but those bugs super help.
CocoaBeansLlamaMemes
We had assumed custody of the neighbor’s chicken once. She tried to eat a flattened, mummified frog. Freaked the dogs out a bit.
thatsecondweirdguy
Most birds are omnivores, and can (and will) eat anything possible.
LankyBastard
I worked in a feed mill making chicken feed. They're one of the only farm animals that are non-ruminant (able to eat meat and bone meal).
Melea
Yeah - chickens, ducks, turkeys, and pigs are common farm omnivores (eating most things: small animals, insects, snails, slugs, plants, etc)
CandiedCorn
IdiotSavantTinker
They're omnivores like a lot of birds.
Eldibs
Extreme omnivores. They will eat anything, up to and including each other and themselves.
superkp
Chickens are so incredibly stupid that I would absolutely expect them to auto-cannibalize if they just decided that their limb looked tasty.
Eldibs
To be fair, they are pretty tasty.
Lakeylake
4vie
... Did anyone want to hear a cluck or gobble at the end there?
fruitbatphoenix
Truth. Chickens LOVE meat of any kind. Except slugs. Chickens think slugs taste disgusting.
islippedonmyslipper
i dont blame them
casbott
I fed my vegetarian (she eats eggs) sister's chickens some chicken… they loved it.
Weentit
lol, is @op reading this?
indyjones2010
Yes
Weentit
cool, what's the reason to feed the chicken vegetarian?
indyjones2010
I have no idea. Probably something stupid. I just posted these cuz they're funny. When we had chickens they ate everything.
Weentit
right on
superkp
yeah I have chickens and holy shit we wouldn't be able to stop them eating bugs.
NotaCPA
had chickens, can confirm. They will eat any and all creepy crawlers, snakes, and small rodents.
Metatality
They eat other chickens given the opportunity
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
They even kill them and leave them for no reason. Little dinosaurs...
ellid006
My uncle would feed them leftovers from dinner. He didn't think about the fact he often ate chicken. Forced cannibalism right there ?
Metatality
My mother in law does the same.
floyster
Your MIL is a sick person; nobody should have to eat leftover human.
Bulldog12123
They aren't being forced....they're simply receiving a choice opportunity
cogwork
Not forced if they'd do it anyway
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
Chicken are better mousers than cats. Change my mind
Bulldog12123
Can't
Thetiredmechanic
100%! However, you can't potty train a chicken so it's best to keep them outside xD
dragonqueen248
Chicken Diapers are a thing!
Thetiredmechanic
Oh sweet jesus I'm gonna hafta do me a google
NotaCPA
won't cuz I've seen one chase down a mouse, grab it, whip it around by the tail, till it stopped moving...then swallow it whole.
montanav
Wow.
montanav
I’ve had (lived with in laws who had rather) cockerels that were aresholes, never realised chickens were this ruthless too!
ITTOOKALONGTIMETOTHINKOFTHISNAME
Oh yeah, no, they're fuckin dinosaurs
Flowerlady0
That Mouse became a vegetable
oddyberry
We used to feed ours foodscraps along with normal feed! Allso found out that stinging nettles made the yolk in their eggs SUPER yellow!
DreamMachine3
Ooo thanks for that stinging nettle tidbit.
grim86
Marigolds too and shrimp shells make them really orange. Shrimp will make the yolks taste fishy though
bigrubberjohnny
Are you being serious about the fishy taste? If so, might give it a go for laughs.
grim86
It was years ago, so i dont remember exactly other than that they looked beautiful but tasted awful.
ellid006
My uncle would also give his chickens leftovers, including roast chicken scraps. He didn't even realise it was cannibalism until I mentioned
Renvea
I mean.... If chickens have a wound, they will happily eat THEMSELVES if you let them...
StevieTheAussie
Pigs’ll happily eat ham and bacon too btw.
MoreCatsThanSense
And people.
StevieTheAussie
People eat ham and bacon too, yes.