Trapped inside your own head.

When you feel like you're isolated in your own house.

That you can't speak your mind out of fear of retribution.

That you can't even finish a sentence without being spoken over because what you have to say is less important.

When your choices are seen as far from satisfactory, so you have to either endure always doing what others want, or sever ties. Because you have tried compromise or substitution before but now feel invalidated because everything you want to do is bad.

When you're always giving of your time, space, energy, and physicality and only feel like a small portion is reciprocated.

Talking becomes meaningless because it's never about anything fun or exciting and usually ends up in argument.

You don't want to be alone, and dearly appreciate someone wants to spend time with you when no one else does, but then you have to change everything you do and like just to endure.

When you feel selfish talking to those not in similar predicaments, and pointless to those who are happy. But let's invalidate those feelings and throw some guilt on for good measure, to keep you in check.

When you just want to feel loved, wanted, respected, understood, cherished, but instead feel the opposite and so you start to put out the same negative energy.

When you feel like you can't even post to regular social media for fear of backlash, loss of what little joy you do have, and being seen as childish instead of talking about it - which had already failed.

Not suffering enough to warrant medication, or bad enough to feel that psychological help is necessary yet, but you're just uncertain about everything.

A life of loneliness is pushing you towards someone who makes you feel like a piece of nothing.

When you're asked about your fantasies and desires and continuously taunted with "one day". Yes, you receive physical affection and damn it feels good, but you're doing all the work yourself and feel like you're a living toy for someone else's enjoyment......

There's heaps I can do, but I feel powerless. I feel like I can't do anything right.

Then, of course, there's 3 sides of a story, theirs, mine, and the truth, but I just feel like mine no one cares about, not even my "best friends".

I feel disassociated with so many things and people. So inferior like maybe I am an epic screw up and I just didn't see it before. I can only seem to focus on bad things, even though good things come along as well.

I've been training in communication, meditation, and negotiation in a call centre environment for over a decade and put all those skills to use, only to be told i'm condescending and refuse to listen. The dark pit of loneliness that is myself is the only thing right now keeping me from doing the smart thing and splitting up.

I have been trying to vent to friends and family for months. Either they think i'm over dramatizing things, they don't care, or they straight up think i'm lying. So, i'll post it here after generalizing so much with no specifics or tags. Just to churn it over in my head, in words, and then committed here.

I'm so unhappy and yet stabilized.